Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 September 1881 — He Conld Not Enlist. [ARTICLE]

He Conld Not Enlist.

“ No, I am not one of the veterans of the war,” he slowly replied to the inquiry, “but it is not my fault. I wanted to be there, but something always held me back. ” “ That was too bad.” “ Yes, it was. When the war broke out I offered to go, but I was in jail on a six month’s sentence and they would not take me. I was innocent, of course, but as I was in jail the recruiting officer had to refuse me. Lands ! but how J did ache to go down to the front and wade in gore !” “Aud when you got out of jail?” “Yes, I got out, but then my mother died. I was on my way to enlist when she died, and, of course, that altered my plans. No one knows how bitterly I wanted to be down there and wade around in blood and glory.” “Well, you didn’t have to mourn all through the war, did you ?” “ Oh, no. Bless your soul, but I only mourned for thirty days, and then I started out to enlist in the artillery. I was just about to write down my name when a constable arrested me for breach of promise, and it was four months before I got through with the suit. Ah ! sir, but if you only knew how I suffered at being held back when others were winning glory on the field of carnage you would pity me !” “But the suit was finally decided?” Yes, finally, and within an hour after the jury brought in a verdict I started for Toledo to enlist in the cavalry. ” ‘ ‘And you enlisted ?” “Almost. I was being examined by the doctor when I got a dispatch that the old man had tumbled into the well, and of course I had to go home. I had not got the undertaker paid before lightning struck the barn. Then some one sat fire to the cheese factory, and soon after that I had three ribs broken and was laid up for a year. When I finally did get around to enlist, the doctor rejected me because I was color-blind, near-sighted, lame, and deaf. I tell you, sir, when I think of the glory lost and tilt) gore I didn’t shed, it breaks me right down and I don’t even care for soda water.”