Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 August 1881 — A Life Saved. [ARTICLE]

A Life Saved.

He wanted legal advice, and when the lawyer told him to state his case he began: ‘ ‘About two years ago I was fool enough to fall in love.” “Certainly—l understand.” “And for a year past I have been engaged to her. ” “Of course.” “A few months ago I found, upon analyzing my heart, that I*did not love lior as I should. My affections had grown cold.” “Certainly they had—go on.” “I saw her pug-nose in its true shape, and I realized that her shoes were No. 6. ” “Exactly, and you made up your mind to break off the match? That was perfectly proper.” “Yes, that was my object; but she threatens to sue me for breach of promise. * ‘Certainly she does, and she’ll do it, too. Has she any love letters from you?” “That’s the hang of it. She tallies up 326.” “And do they breathe your love? ’ “I should say they did; but I think I’ve got her tight. All them letters are written on wrapping paper and with pencil, and I’ve come to ask you if such writing as that will stand law?” ‘ ‘Of course it will. If you had written with slate and pencil she could hold you.” “Great hokeyl but is that so?” “It is.” “And she’s got me fast?” “She has.” “Well, that settles that, and I suppose I’ll have to give in and marry her?” “Unless ” “Unless what ?” ‘ ‘You can buy her off. ” “Egad! that’s it—that’s the idea, and you have saved my life! Buy her offwhy didn’t I think of it before? Say, where’s the Dollar Store? I’ll walk in on her with a set of jewelry, a flirtation fan, a card case and two bracelets, and she’ll give me a quit-claim deed and throw in all the poetry I ever sent hereto boot!” —Detroit Free Press. f