Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 July 1881 — A Good Place for Sale. [ARTICLE]

A Good Place for Sale.

“I want to sell my place, ” said a retailer to the publisher of this paper. “Is it a good place?” the publisher asked. “Well,” the retailer replied, “we used to have a saying when I was a boy, that there are two kinds of good. Good, and good for nothing, and I guess my place is one of those kinds of good. ’’ “I’ll tell you what kind of a place it is,” he continued. “It’s a place where you are expected to crop your hair and stand behind the bar and spit over onto the tables once in a while. You are expected to swear like a horse marine, and fight like a bantam cock. “The customers bang you in the nose for ‘good morning,’ and pelt you iu the stomach on leaving. They address you as a , and tell you if you don’t fill the beer glasses up to the top with clear beer they’ll lay your liver over your eyes and clean the sidewalk with your hide. Very few of them have any money, but the trade ain’t allowed to suffer on that account. They hang you up for everything, tell you to put the account in your head and they will come around on Saturday and kick it out. “Still, I ain’t complaining. I’m only giving it up on account of my health. The doctor has ordered a change of air, that’s all. You can put it down as a good place, but for heaven’s sake don’t get in the address, or my customers will insist on celebrating the event, and the few sound chairs, tables and things I have managed to keep together will go without selling. Put it down as a good place, doing a lively trade. Satisfactory reasons given for leaving.— New York Retailer.