Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 June 1881 — Humors of Scotch Police Courts. [ARTICLE]

Humors of Scotch Police Courts.

At the conclusion of a burgh court in Scotland, recently, the prosecutor said to his assistant: “You’d better lock up all the pens and other things ; the policemen come here to get their wages to-day.” A prisoner at the same court was very anxious to make a statement to the bench before the witnesses against him were examined, but as this was out of all rule he was refused. At the close of the trial he was told he could now state what he wanted. This was his guileless and candid answer: “Oh, there’s no use of me saving anything; there’s been enough of lies told here this morning already.” A Scotch magistrate, who is by profession a pawnbroker, experiences rather awkward things now and then. In Leith, the other day, an old woman came into the Police Court and asked the occupant of the bench if he would sign this “bit affidavit” (shehaving lost a pawn-ticket). The bailie reddened ana told her to go and get a witness. The old woman was nonplussed for a moment, but she soon recovered and pawkily said: “You micht sign it, bailie; he wants it oot for the fast day. It’s yon waistcoat, you ken.” The implied acquaintance of the magistrate with “yon waistcoat” was too much for the gravity of the court, and the laughter became loud and long.— London World.