Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 May 1881 — Matrimonial Methods. [ARTICLE]

Matrimonial Methods.

To show that the habit of declaiming against the beautitudes of matrimonial life and protesting that the nation is to be ruined if a period is not put to fashion is no new thing, we extract the following from the Connecticut Herald, printed in the year 1823: “As it is idle to hope for reformation in those who are possessed with the fashionable mania, and as the want of cash seems to be the obstacle to matrimony, I would beg leave to propose a plan, which may prove beneficial to both sexes. It is not a new one, but has been so long ont of date that it will at least possess the charm of novelty. Let all marriageable girls, young and old, be assembled annually at one place. Let them be put up by an auctioneer one after another. The rich will pay a high price for the handsomest. The money tlius received should be bestowed as a settlement on the more homely, whom the auctioneer should present in regular order, asking if any one would accept such an one with such a sum. This plan was practiced with great success among the Assyrians and several other nations of antiquity, as any one of our ready-made archaeologists will admit. By it the rich will be able to support their bargains, of course, and the second-chop wives—to use a flowery and celestial idiom—will bring something to support their husbands and their own extravagance; no one being obliged to accept a damsel if she has nothing but love and duty to offer.” Teacher, to boy who nas to be corrected frequently: “Can you tell me where Blue Ridge is ? ” Boy (rubbing his shoulder); “ No; but I can tell you where the black and blue ridge is.” He is treated more vigorously than ever now.