Democratic Sentinel, Volume 5, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 March 1881 — The Square Man. [ARTICLE]

The Square Man.

The square man mezzures the same each way, and hamt got no winny edges nor shaky lumber in him. He is free from knots and sap, and won’t warp. He is klear stuff, and I don’t care what yn work him up into, he won’t swell and he won’t shrink. He iz amongst men what good kil dried boards are among carpenters, he won't season krack. It don’t make any difference which side uv him yn cum up to, he is the same bigness each way, and the only way tew get at him, enny how, iz to face him. He knows he iz square, and never spends enny time trieing to prove it. The square man is one of the bestshaped men the world has ever produced. He iz one of them kind ov chunks that kant alter tew jit a spot, but you must alter the spot to fit him. —Josh Billings.