Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 December 1880 — GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES. [ARTICLE]

GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.

Exercise (or Girls. Moderate exercise in the open air is doubtless beneficial. But excessive dancing and skating are both injurious to women, especially before they have acquired the bill measure of their physical powers. Horseback exercise, which seems a successful means of strengthening the English constitution, is oftentimes too violent for their less-robust transatlantic cousins. The American soil and climate have given a temperament to the race quite at variance with that of the European family, and which requires widely-different treatment. A Sensible Girl. The Princess Augusta Victoria, the bride of the German Emperor’s grandson and the future Empress of Germany, is not wealthy, having a dower much smaller than many a merchant’s daughter. But she is an excellent young woman, clever and sensible. Spiritually, it is said, she was nursed on rationalism of the kind which the Crown Princess inherited from her father. Her charitable qualities, the housewifely grace with which she cuts bread-and-butter for the little boys and girls of Potsdam and Cliarlottenburg, her engaging manner and her soft Teutonic cast of beauty will endear her to her people. Pretty Women. It is not thfe smiles of a pretty face, nor the tint oi her complexion, nor the symmetry of her person, nor the costly dress or decorations, that compose woman’s loveliness. Nor is it the enchanting glance of her eye, with which she darts such luster on the man she deems worthy of her friendship, that constitutes her beauty. It is her pleasing deportment, her chaste conversation, the sensibility and purity of her thoughts, tier affable and open disposition, her sympathy with those in adversity, and, above all, the humbleness of her soul, that constitute true loveliness.

How Mrs. Grant Didn’t Go to a Banquet. A banquet was to be given to the General by one of the Japanese dignitaries, and so much of the learning and the power of the Japanese w'as to be represented that the General was anxious to have his share of the entertainment well conducted. Mrs. Grant was accordingly requested to be in readiness at a certain hour, so that there would be no delay. When the hour arrived she had not made her toilet. The General sent to her and found that she had a Japanese silk peddler in her room. The man’s wares were spread all around, and she was asking prices and trying to make a bargain. It was time to start, and the General went ahead in his vehicle, leaving a member of his traveling company at the hotel to follow with Mrs. Grant as soon as she was ready. This gentleman paced the hall for an hour, waiting for ttie ex-President’s wife. She was deep in business with the silk peddler, and apparently forgot all about the banquet. At length the peddler went away, pleased at the sales he had made, and Mrs. Grant began to make her toilet. She “hurried on her things,” and at length was ready. As the vehicle was on the way to the banquet-liall, Mrs. Grant spied her husband returning. Dinner was over, and he was on his way back, covered with flowers and decorations and laden with presents. “Goodness me!” exclaimed Mrs. Grant] “ there’s Ulyss. I know he’s mad from the way he looks. Stop and let me get out.” She quickly descended from the carriage, got into the one occupied by the General, and returned to the hotel. She said to her escort the next day that “ Ulyss was so mad he hadn’t spoken to her yet.” The incident did not escape Grant’s “Boswell,” but it was not recorded.

Pungleup’* Test. Woman is by nature so erratic and inconsistent a creation that it doesn’t do to bet on even her most marked characteristics. For illustration, old Mr. Pungleup, of Nob hill, was commenting on the railroad velocity with which young ladies jabber to each other when they meet, without either in the least understanding or replying to what the other says. “ It’s just a mean falsehood gotten up by you good-for-nothing men ! ” said the youngest Pungleup girl,.indignantly. “All right,” said her father, benignantly; “we’ll try an experiment. I see your friend, Miss Gluckerson, coming up the street. .Now, I’ll wager that new walking suit you w r ant so much that you can say ‘ roast turkey" and cranberry sauce’ in response to the first halfdozen remarks that she makes without her noticing the fact.” “I never heard anything so perfectly absurd,* replied Miss P.; “however, I might as well have that suit—it’s just too lovely for anything—so I’ll just do it to teach you a lesson.” “Mind, now,” said her father, as the. front door bell rang, “fair play. You mustn’t change your expression in the least, and you must repeat tire sentence in your usual voice and manner—that is to say, in a single breath—all run together as it were. ” Just then Miss Gluckerson was shown into the parlor, and through the library door old P. could hear the usual oscillatory peck exchanged, and Miss G. exclaim, without even the smallest comma in the whole remark: “Oh you lazy thing been here a perfect age don’t look at this hat perfect fright going to have flowers set back and bow changed why wasn’t you at matinee Harry was there.” “ Boast turkey and cranberry sauce,” rapidly inserted Miss P., accompanying the words with that preliminary and concluding gurgle with which all women, for some occult reason, invariably adorn their conversation when desirous of being agreeable. “Going to Mrs. Bladger’s party?” continued Miss Gluckerson, with the serene rattle of a brook over the pebbles. “ Molly Smith is going they tell me she paints pa’s promised me a phaeton in the spring saw that hateful Mrs. Guppery on the street buff overskirt and green rucking just fancy. ” “ Boast turkey and cranberry—” “ Oh, George Skidmore’s mother’s dead. Ouch! got a flee in my sleeve little beast just eating me up alive bury her next Sunday did you get that edging at Gimp’s ?” “ Boast turkey and cran—” “The girls at Clark’s are to graduate next Thursday Jennie Giggles is going to be square cut with inside illusion and white lad boots can’t yon come round for' dinner to-morrow and stay all—” “Boast turkey and—” “Night, and show Milly your new basque ? That man with a light overcoat stared at me again yesterday Jim O’Neill is going East this candy frightful stale.” “Boast turkey—” “ Ma thinks Mrs. Brown ain’t proper

those ferns are just too lovely look at these cuff's clean this morning are my crimps coming out yours ain’t Lillie Skippen says you met Charlie Boggs the other night and he said something nice about me tell me quick 1 ” “ Roast turk—” “ Why how perfectly absurd you are, Linda,” interrupted the visitor, angrily. “You don’t listen to a word I say I was asking about Charles Boggs not roast turkey George Shelly thinks you’re awful nice now tell me what did he say good gracious ! what are you hugging me for ? ” “And, Tilda,” thoughtfully remarked Miss Pungleup, after the matter had been explained and her father admitted that he had lost by a scratch, “ I believe in my heart that if you hadn’t thought about Charlie just then, I shouldn’t have had any new suit this winter.” All of which goes to show that there s at least one subject upon which one may hope to secure the temporary attention of the inscrutable female mind. —San Francisco Post.