Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 December 1880 — ODDS AND ENDS. [ARTICLE]

ODDS AND ENDS.

And we arise to ask, what is it that makes a locomotive tender? It is said that two of the best steel engravers in this country are women. The bride and bridegroom at a Nashville wedding had only one leg apiece. Never attempt to get rich too rapidly. You may cut a coupon so that it will not be redeemed. A man may live to extreme old age and then commit the biggest mistake ol his life. According to Victor Hugo, to call a man an ass is to compliment him. Hugo thinks the ass is the wisest of creature. Never does a man believe so strongly in the attraction of gravitation as when he sits down in a chair and finds it gone. There have been three great Irvings— Washington Irvings, Irving the famous London preacher, and Irving the actor.

A stupid man, in buying a book, said to the book-seller, “I will take two copies while I am about it, as I may wish to read it twice.” Many women who are really brave pale every time they find themselves in front of the looking glass with a powder puff in their hands. A blue stocking has written an essay on “The Disadvantage of Being Pretty.” Most girls are good-natured, and willing to put up with the disadvantages. A very curious incident occurred near Louisville the other day, a railroad train being thrown from the track without injuring anybody above the rank of major. There are some 35,000 more females than males in Philadelphia, and yet some people wonder why some girls marry bowlegged men. —Philadelphia ChronicleHerald.

A Chicago grocer sells soap, every tenth cake of which contains in its centre a gold dollar, and the citizens of Chicago are getting to look tolerably clean.— Poston Post. This significant sentence is from a Massachusetts school report: “As this office involves neither honor nor profit, there seems no plausible reason why it should not be filled by a woman.” A Western young lady who has been visiting Boston says the young men there are so vain that they act as if they thought they were doing you the greatest possible favor in speaking to you. A religiously insane woman in Massachusetts goes about the neighborhood every morning delivering personal messages which she believes she has received from heaven during the night. A valuable heifer belonging to a Massachusetts farmer recently broke its leg, and it had to be amputated. The animal has since been fitted with a wooden leg, on which it moves around with ease.

Susan Jane must have been scantily dressed when she was loooking out for her lover and sang: He’ll come to-niglit, the wind’s at rest, The moon is full and fair. I’ll wear the dress that pleased him best, A ribbon in my hair. A Philadelphia quack informs the public that he is not at all exclusive. “If a patient wants it gentle and mild, I’m a homoeopath, and when anybody wants thunder and lightning, I’m an allopath. ” In a paper published in Rhode Island, in 1762, the following account of a protracted drougth is given: * ‘Our cows are drying up, our pumps are dry, there is no water, and the minister of the Baptist church is dead.” A Pailadelphia man has perfected an invention whereby sour kraut can be boiled in the house without any of the inmates smelling it. The invention consists of a small liver-like pad of Limburger cheese worn under the nose.— Philadelphia Chroni^le-llerald. To poets: In order to write poetry suitable for publication, it is necessary, first, either to understand the art of versification or to possess a singularly correct ear; second, the poet must have something to write about, something more than a general desire to die or be a star; and third, when he feels the fit coming on he should go and blacken a stove. A story comes all the way from Atkinson, Kansas, to explain why Clara Louise Kellogg lias never married. In her school days she fell in love with a poor boy, and they exchanged vows of constancy. She wenton the stage and made a fortune. He declared that he would not become her husband until his wealth equaled hers—and it has never done so, though he has struggled hard to increase it to the required amount. It would save a great deal of embarrassment and perhaps add to their emoluments if clergymen generally were to (fiiarge a fixed rate for marrying couples for the third, and so on. They might even issue tickets, as they do in milk factories, with a reduction to persons taking a quantity. In order to encourage lawful wedlock, the job should be done very cheaply to young couples, but the clergy could take it out of widowers and old bachelors.