Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 September 1880 — Page 4

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THE QVAKEH LADY’S DRK-4OT. BT EDNA. I’ll tell yon s story which is nothing more, I dare to presume, than you’ve heard before ; But If yon have heard It 'tis no matter, then Twill not take yon long to hear It again s A good Quaker lady, of heavenly mind, Was, nevertheless, to smoking Inclined; And, as she grew older, and every day better, This troublesome practice did her more enfetter. • This lady wee thoughtful and very discreet, And her meditation of heaven was sweet! But, strange, as she grew more happy in grace, Tho pipe grew more firmly attached to her face. One night being weary, not able to sleep, Her meditation grew solemn and deep. She says: “I’m notwell; a solaoe I need; I’ll sit up In bed and puff at the weed.” With smoke curling gracefully ’bove her nightcap, Soon the old lady fell into a nap. Bhe dreamed she had trod the road narrow and strait, And now she beheld the heavenly gate. She thought that she said to the angel In white : “ Please, sir, let me in; you’ll find it all right” “ Yes,” said the angel, with the kindest of 1 ook, “ I will, when I find your name In the book.” The angel came back with a sorrowful fsce; “ Your name is not there; I’ve looked In "*ach place.” She says: “Look again, lam sure it is there; My life has been one of faith, hope and prayer.” Again, with much patience, the angel did look; Again could not find her name In the book. The lady grew frantic, “Oh, am I deceived! Do look once again; ‘tis there I believe.” Again came the angel, and smiled as he spoko: “ I’ve found it at last, all covered with smoke.” The good lady awoke, and, I’ve heard it said, She ever after quit smoking In bed. And better ’twould be for each slave of the weed, If, like the lady, in time they’d take heed. Chicago, 111.

THE GRANGER’S STORY;

08, Three Elopements in One Night. BY ISAAC WALDRON. She was young, gentlemen, an’ she was sassy, an’ jest as full of solid sense as she was of fun—an’ she was full of fun within prescribed limits, as an egg is full of meat. She knew her mind, too, an’ could love like a woman when she was sot to it, as the story shows. There was no better nor likelier gal in this country, which she’s proved since, an’ the way she did up them two city lawyer stugents was fun, gentlemen, fun—thankee —lemme hev mine with jest a touch of lemon. Yes, she’s the gal that eloped with three fellers in one night, an’ as respectable a gal as you’ll find in the State to-day. Was she well behaved ? Well, you jest bet your life she was. Lively an’ bright when she was woke up, she was a most thunderin’ smart girl when it came to takin’ business charge of herself. She was as pretty as a pictur’ that’s jest ready to walk out of its frame. Her liar seemed to float all around her head, an’ when the wind blowed through it an’ the sun lightened it up, it looked like a gold mine—such as you read about. She was a fresh, wholesome lookin’ gal as ever was, with a bright eye that went through a man like a buzz saw through a pine log, an’ she had a ligger as round as a huckleberry, . an’ sweet as a butternut.

Why, I knowed her when she was only so high ; she was born an’ raised in this very town, an’ her money, a matter of about SIO,OOO, was left by her grandmother in trust with old Judge Willes, an’ he looked out for it too. The gal lived with her grandmother ’till she was 18, an’, Avhen the old lady died, she went over to her Aunt Hilton’s for three years ’till she got married, an’ they say she made it lively for them two women ; in her own demure-like an’ innocent sort o’ style, of course. Thankee ; yes, I smoke evenin’s sometimes. The way it commenced was something like this : You see, gentlemen, I got a partickler here and a partickler there ’till 1 got tho whole thing. Jennie—her name was Jennie Thomas then—hed lied a kind o’ sneakin’ .regard for Jed Billings, a smart young farmer, fairish off, but not over well-to-do at that time. They’d went to school together, an’ Jed, one day, hed hauled her outer the mill-pond. She’d fell into it in one of her wild scrapes a tryin’ to walk across the dam on a four-inch edge, an’, from what I lieered at the time, I guess that was the way the affair began between ’em. But someliow, she was kind o’ offish to Jed, yet that young farmer hed a good eddicashun —first-rate, and was known to be square—that is, square as square goes nowadays, when the golden rule appears to be to do unto others as others would do unto you, if they got the chance.

But whether it was that Jennie wanted to liev her little foolin’ afore she tied up, or whether she wanted to see if Jed really loved her, or whether she wanted to fool him an’ sow her female wild oats or what not, land only knows. As I said afore, liowsumever she was offish, an’ wouldn’t make no regular engagement, and right in the nick of the worry, them two lawyer stugents from the city arrived among our midst. You see, old Judge Parker had his son Sam an’ his newy Charley Gifford to eddicate, an’ he fixed ’em both up for lawyers, jest as if we warn’t over-stocked with them chaps, same as we be with army-worms ; an’ yit, gentlemen, we’re scarce on good hay-makers an’ farmin’ helji genrally, as you know. The nevvy, Charley Gifford, was a prime good feller as everybody’s aware of to-day. But Sam Parker was a perticklarly curious cuss an’ bid fair to turn out jest such a mean, cross-cut liglitnin’ calculator as his father was—which most of you know’d well enough, partickly when you had any affidavys to be done an’ the old man wanted his 25 cents in advance.

Well, as soon as them young sharps gradiwated an’ come home they both sot their eyes on Miss Jennie. Lor’ bless you, in the momin’ you’d see Sam a diivin’ her out to the pond in Parker’s old gig, an’ in the afternoon Charley’d be a takin’ her up Garden Drive in the same shaky but respectable winnicle. It looked a good deal like a dead race for Jennie’s SIO,OOO. Now Jennie’s aunt was dead down on Jed Billings,, because he was only a farmer, though even then, gentlemen, lie looked a blame sight more likely to make a big farmer than either o’ them other fellers did to make a big lawyer. Anyhow, Jennie’s aunt didn’t care much wl lich of the lawyers got her as long as Jed was kep’ out. But the cunnin’ old lady rather preferred Sem Parker, because he was sure to fiev his father’s practice, while Charley might hev to whistle a good while for a client. Then, too, Sam lied a way of flatterin’her up in city style, an’ Charley was too open and off-handed with her. It’s most generally the rascals that gets all the advantages; but not in the long run, boys, not in the long run. Yes, Jonas, same as before, thankee. Well, Sam an’ the old lady got atalkin’ one day an’ fixed things up between ’em. “Jennie don’t know her own mind,” said her aunty, “an’ it’s my opinion that whichever gits away with her first will git the prize, an’, Sam, you’d better do it. She’s a giddy young thing, an’ ’ll stick by the one as goes for her the heaviest. She’s morantic, an’ won’t marry in church noway; them kind never does till arter they gets married in a wagon by moonlight.” You see, gentlemen, she didn’t size Jennie up jest right. Things begun to thicken up pretty good, an’ one day Sam Parker, the lawyer’s son, thought it was about time to put up his little job on Charley and jjed arter his own style," as agreed .omjjyith the aunt. The strickly honorable didn’t run much in Sam’s family anynowv Sam’s plot was like this: He got Charley aside one momin’ an’ told him everythin’ was fixed, an’ he gmri* t& marry the gal that night. “ Now I know what you love her for,” said Sam, in his cool stvle ; “but I knqw

that for old friendship’s sake you'll give in to me, so the gal can be happy with the man she loves.” “ Hpw do you know she loves yon?” asks dharley, as gloomy as a dyin’ mud- *< This day,’’"says Honest Sam—which thev used to call him so because he was so tricky—“ this day she giv me her promise,” an’ he perjuced alock'of hair an’a ring with her name on. “Now, Charley, he continued, “ I tell you this, first, on account of our old, sweet friendship, an’, second, because I want you to help me by takin’ care o’ Jed Billings while I git away with the gal. He watches us like a weasel, an’ might Jestaleetle, Jonas, this time, thankee; make it hot. Well, as soon as it got dark, Sam hitched up an’ took Charley down near Jed’s farm to keep a watch on him, an’ then turned round an’ took the back road up to Jennie’s. The girl was considerably surprised foiv.Spm t<f ask her out ridin’ ou a dark nightman* no*'party or dancin’ to go to ; but she warn’t afraid o’ nothin’, an’ was alius full o’ lively curiosity about fun. So she made up her mind to see it out, most pemckly as her cunnin’ old aunt made believe she didn’t want her to go. Then the way Sam Parker put that old plug o’ his through to Eatonville was a caution. What was said kick up a fuss. If he tries to foder ali you’ve got to do is to pick a muss with him so’s to give us a chance.” “ I don’t see how that’s a-goin’ to pay me,” said Charley.

“H I marry her to-night,” said Sam, solemnly, “I shall take her to Boston to live, an’ you’ll step inter my practice here. ” So Charley said agreed, and so forth, but he knew Sam was deep, an kep’ askin’ himself why should Sam be afraid of Jed if he was really engaged to Jennie, pg he said ; an’ why should he run away, anyhow. So he kep’ on a puzzlin’y but couldn’t git it out. on the, way ain’t known, but it’s tolrable certain that man-yin’ warn’t spoken of till the two got to work eatin’ supper. Then Sam said how he loved her, an’ how this was an elopement, an’ tho parson was ready an’ all that. Theft ho goes down on his knees an’ pulls out the ring. Bat, in pullin’ out the ring, out come a long lock of hair, the same that Sam had been playin’ off on Charley for hern. “Oh, you dreadful, dreadful flirt!” hollers Jennie, makin’ b’leeve mad, and then she busts out into just the tallest laffin’ that’s been heard in the Adams House lor forty years. Then Sam pitches in an’ gits wild as to what he’ll do to her or say about her if she don’t marry him, an’ then the door opeus sudden, an’ who should bounce in but Charley ! You see, Charley had got tired awatcliin’ Jed ; so he concluded to hire a hoss and jest Idler Sam an’Jennie up, to see fpr himself how things was. He’d been a listenin’ at the door till Sam got ugly on Jennie,and then he see his chance an’ bounced in.

“My preserver! my preserver!” sereaoned out Jennie, an’ she goes over to Charley an’ he gits out with tho gal before Sam—who is a kind of a sneak, anyway—recovered from liis surprise. Well, they took Hid road to Starboro’ a fly in’; but it wasn’t ten minutes before they hears wheels behind ’em, an’ Charley cries: “That’s that rascal, Sum Parker !” So he puts on the gad an’ goes t arin’ over the road wuss than ever till lie brings up at the minister’s house in Starboro’, with his horse all afoumin’ an’ nigh dead. • Then they both got out of the wagon, an’ Jennie all of a sudden begins to cry. You see, she had enjoyed the fun all along like everything ; but at last it began to look serious even to a gal with her nerve. It was mighty late at night, an’ there she was a standin’ afore the minister’s house in Starboro’, fifteen miles from home, an’ with no more idea of marryin’ Charley Gifford than you or I hev this miuit of marryin’ Queen Victory, But Charley put on steam an’ talked away to her at a tremendous rate on account of Sam’s bein’ behind ’em. Then the gal got all broken up again in the narves, an’ while she was a-cryin’ and wringin’ her hands, the other wagon drew up. But the man that jumped out wasn’t Sam Parker. It was Jed Billings—Jed Billings, gentlemen, as good a feller as I ever met an’ the best man with a pitchfork in the two counties.

Then the gal straightened up an’ went right into Jed’s arms, as straight as a chipmunk slips into a holler tree. Of course this was war, an’, arter a lovin’ embrace, Jed lets her down on the minister’s steps an’ prepares to go for Charley. “ I’ll teach you, you young pettifogger,” said he, “to play tricks like these,” an’ he was a-haulin’ off in that dynamite style of his, when Jennie jest stepped up atwixt ’em. Now, gentlemen, I like the female element myself, as I suppose the hull on ye does, an’ I appreciate ’em as angels and peace-makers an’ all that; but it must be allowed that Jennie did ispile what would hev been the goljambdest fight that ever took place in Squigg county. Mind yer, the stakes were SIO,OOO, an’ Charley had a good deal of stand-by in him, if he was a fortune-hunter ; an’ as for Jed, everybody knows he’s got a hogsheadful o’ pluck alius on hand. It’s a shame, gentlemen, the mill didn’t come off; for, to this day, whenever a man gets a little hard cider in him about here he wrastles his tongue with somebody as to which would hev licked. But Jed an’ Charley only laffs about it dow, an’ wouldn’t muss for anything. Only a drop or two, Jonas —there, that’s about right. Where was I ? Oh, yes. Well, Jennie stepped atwixt ’em, an’ says : “It was all my fault, Jed—it was all my fault, an’ I only did it to see if you’d be jealous. I’m a cruel, hateful, wicked girl, an’ if you won’t fight, dear Jed, I’ll go into the minister’s with you now, provided you’ll git me home afore my aunt’s up in the mornin’, an’ then I’ll marry you in church as soon as I kin git ready proper. I love you, Jed, an’ if you love me you won’t want to do anythin’ to hev this business talked about ’till arterwards. ”

You can see, gentlemen, she was a level-headed gal arter all. Then she turns, as cool as a cowcurnber, to Charley, an’ she says : “I know why you an’ your friend wanted to git me." As it stands now, you tried to fool me an’ I had to return the compliment.” “An’ now Jed’s fooled you pretty good,” said Charley, laffin. Then they all got a-laffin, an’ Jed caved an’ Charley caved, an’ all went into the minister’s, Charley actin’ as witness. Jest as they came out, Sam drew up, with his boss lame in three legs. He looked pretty sour when Jed introduced Jennie as Mrs. Billings. Jennie was taken to her aunt’s a-flyin, an’ Charley followed at a two-mile-an-liour gait, with Sam’s horse hitched on Charley’s buggy to keep him up, an’ Sam walkin’ aside of him to jest stimmerlate him up, now and then. The lawyers made it all right between ’em on the way home, an’ in the mornin’ the old Judge found ’em both dead corned with some of his old Otard. Tbe perticlers didn’t leak out till long alter the church weddin’, and then there was some big fun over it, -Everybody knows now that Jed’s made tjjftt now stock-farm o’ his pay like baizes, an’ Jennie’s as quiet and stiddy hk the Mulbry town guide-post, an’ a good deal more charitable. When old Judge Parke» died, Sam Wok his practice, an’ then sold out to

Charley an’ went West. Charley has married a likely gal on the creek, for love, an’ is a-doin’ well. “But how was it?” asked one of the listeners, “ that Jed managed to be an hand in time?” It was this way, gentlemen, said the old granger, sipping his night-cap; Jed was a-fixin’ a leak in the roof of his barn, when Sam Parker drove up to the cross-roads that night, an’ he recognized the old gig. When it stopped an’ let Charley down an’ then went flyin’ up the back road, Jed thought somethin’ was up. So he crep’ alongside the stone wall, an’ before long he was a watchin’ Charley instead o’ Charley a-watchin’ him- Then, when Charley got sick of his job an’ then went down to the direction of the livery stable, Jed jest chucked his hoss in his buggy—an’ there ain’t no better piece o’ hoss-flesh between here an’ Greenfield—an’ follered him up. But Charley hed a good start; so Jed got to Eatonville about ten minutes arter the couple hed left for Starboro’. He got all the perticklers at Eatonville from the hostlers, and didn’t see Sam, who was up-stairs a-ponderin’ what to do. Then he set his hoss to steamin’ an’ he arriv’. Well, that hoss is old now, and no use ; but they say he winks at Jed, now an’ then, as much as to say ; “Ipulled you through on that SIO,OOO business ; eh, old man ?” Then Jed winks, an’ the hoss is satisfied. Jed wouldn’t take no money for him to-day. “Are Jed an’Jennie happy in their present connubial relations ?” furtively inquired the schoolmaster. Cam’t say, replied the old granger. You’re married, an’ you oughter know how it is yourself.

Politics in the Ball-Room.

“Well, say,” said one of our best young men at a North Hill hop the other evening, “ you know ’bout this fellah Hancock ? Well, say, he ain’t same one that’s President of an insurance company, is he ? Writes awfully coarse hand, you know ?” “Naw,” replied the best young man addressed, “he’s man that signed constitution of United States; great politician, I reckon. Had a row with Gen. Washington at battle of Monmouth.” “ Haw, no,” interposed a third best man,” ’tain’t that fellah. Gad, he’s dead, man ; ’pon my soul he is. ” “ Well, say,” exclaimed the first best young man, “ wbenkl he die ?” “ Can’t say, ’m sure,” replied the third best young man, who appeared to be a young man of broad information on general topics, “but I know he’s dead. This Hancock’s a military man ; Colonel in the army, and Governor of some island near New York.” The other best young men gathered around him with a common expression of the liveliest interests Finally one of them asked : “Well, say, what’s he want to run for President for, if he’s Governor of an island ?” “Don’tknow, ’’ said the well-informed best young man, “ but guess he has to. B’lieve after a fellah’s been Governor of an island for ’bout so long as lie has to retire, an’ if he can’t get to be President, he lias to—hasn’t got nothing to do, you know. I don’t know just how it is.”

“Well, say, who’s this preacher follow, Garfield, that’s runnin’ the Democrats for President ?” asked the first best young man, after an intelligent pause. “Don’t know much ’bout him,” said the well-informed young man; “haV been President once, I know. ” “ Talkin’ man or dancin’man?” asked the third best young man. “ Ohio man, I b’lieve they call him,* said the well-informed best young man “ What’s that?” asked tho other best young men in intelligent chorus. “’Pon my soul, I don’t know,” replied the well-informed best young man frankly. “Some kind of a—or, ah—ci —kind of a man—l don’t know ’m sure. ” And just then the band struck up and the three best waltzcrs in tho roon ceased talking politics and abandoned the profound study of statecraft to join the giddy mazes of the dance. Tinglory of the land of freedom and the pride of society is its young menHurdette.

Panama Hats.

Panama hats are principally manufactured, in Veraquas and Western Panama. Not all, however, known to commence by that name are plaited in the isthmus, by far a greater portion being made in Manta, Monte Christi and other parts of Ecuador. The hats are worn in almost the whole American continent and the West Indies, and would probably be equally used in Europe did not their high price (varying from $2 to $150) prevent their importation. They are distinguished from all others by consisting only of a single piece, and by their lightness and flexibility. They may be rolled up and put into the pocket without injury. In the rainy season they are apt to get black, but by washing them with soap and water, besmearing them with lime juice, or any other kind of acid, and exposing them to the sun, their whiteness is easily restored. So little is known about these hats that it may not be out of place to give an account of tlieir manufacture. The “straw” (paja),previous to plaiting, has to undergo several processes. The leaves are gathered before they unfold, all their coarser veins removed and the rest, without being separated from the base of the leaves, is reduced to shreds. After having been exposed to tbe sun for a day, and tied into a knot, the straw is immersed in boiling water until it becomes white, It is then hung up in a shady place, and subsequently bleached for two or three days. The straw is now ready for use, and in state is sent to different places, especially to Peru, where the Indians manufacture from it those beautiful cigar cases which sometimes bring as high as S3O each. The plaiting of the hats is very troublesome. It commences at tlie crown and finishes at the brim. The hats are made on a block, which is placed on the knees, and required to be constantly pressed with the breast. According to their quality, more or less time is occupied in the completion—the coarser ones may be finished in two or three days, while the finest may take as many months. The best times for plaiting are the morning hours and the rainy season, when the air is moist. In the middle of the day and in dry, clear weather, the straw is apt to break, and this, when the hat is finished, is betrayed by knots, and much diminishes the value.—Journal of Botany.

Answers Easily Misunderstood.

The inundation of 1771, which swept away a great part of the old Tyne bridge, Newcastle, was long remembered, and alluded to as “the flood.” On one occasion Mr. Adam Thompson was put into the witness-box at the assizes. The counsel asking his name received for answer: *‘Adam, sir—Adam Thompson.” “ Where do you live ?” “ At Paradise, sir. ” (Paradise is a village about a mile and a half west of Newcastle.) “And how long have you dwelt in Paradise ? continued the barrister “Ever since the flood!” was tlie reply, made m all simplicity, and with no intention to raise a laugh. It is. needless to'say that the Judge asked for an explanation. THEATEB-aoEns, club-visitors, late suppertakers, and patrons of tlie horse-railroad owltranis, should all certainly have a bottle of Dr youwiu S‘it VrUiJ couveniont * Gentlemc »,

FARM NOTES.

Plaster scattered over the floors of the fowl houses is a powerful absorbent, preventing the smell which arises from the droppings. Set your hens in the evening if you have to move them from the laying nests. They will be more sure to stick to their new nests. Farmers in this country were never more indifferent about selling their wool than they are this season. Nothing desirable can be bought in Wisconsin for less than forty cents per pound. In Indiana fine wool is held at fifty cents. In some parts of France rye is largely employed for green feeding, but of late farmers are substituting barley, which appears to be better relished by stock. It is sweeter and somewhat more tender. Its nutritive value is very different following the period of its development. When young, it contains but six part in one hundred drp matter, and twenty-one about fifteen days after coming into ear. The San Francisco Mural Press tells of a large farmer in Merced County, Cal., who is “a mechanical genius as well.” Among his recent constructions, in his own shops, are a grain-header that cuts a swath thirty feet wide, a canvas-sided dining-room wagon for thrashers, and a horse-feed car for thirty horses, with boxes around the outside for feeding grain, and a rick for feeding hay. Theke is no class of people now so hard to preach to as old church-goers. They were people of but one book, and that was the Bible; but they were thoroughly posted in it. They knew what a good sermon was. A congregation of farmers now is of about the same character as they were then. They are a good deal harder to satisfy than New Yorkers. You can’t give them any “chaff,” and, if a minister has a poor sermon, I should advise him not to preach it to them. ” — Exchange.

A correspondent of the Ohio Farmer gives the following sensible advice about pastures: There are thousands of acres of pasture that will require at least three acres to carry a cow through the summer, and it needs no argument to show that it will be profitable to expend several dollars per acre to reduce this to two acres for a cow. lam more and more in favor of mixed grasses and heavy seeding for permanent pastures. Where I sowed only clover, the third year the ground was bare; but where I sowed orchard grass, blue grass and timothy with the clover, it is better now than it was the first year. A deception successfully practiced on a number of farmers is known as the “butter contract.” A couple of welldressed fellows drive to the house Of the expected victim and make an engagement with him to take all his butter for a year at a high price. A written agreement is then made and in due time the “contract ” is returned in the form of a note held by a third party, which the farmer is bound to pay. The safest plan is to make no written contracts with strangers who thus suddenly turn up and of whom nothing is known. A correspondent informs us that, while on a visit in the fall to a friend, he was surprised to see the number of eggs he daily obtained. He had but sixteen hens, and the product per diem averaged thirteen eggs. He was in the habit of giving, on every alternate day, a teaspoonful and a quarter of cayenne pepper, mixed with soft food, and took care that each lien obtained her share. The experiment of omitting the pepper was tried, when it was/omul that the number of eggs was reduced effcli trial to from five to six daily. Our correspondent believes that the moderate use of this stimulant not only increases the number of eggs, but effectually wards off diseases to which chickens are subject.—Germantown Telegraph.

The common disease in cows and sheep which appears by watery blisters on the feet and between the claws of the hoof, followed by raw spots which are difficult to heal, is known as aphthous fever. Sometimes it is accompanied by similar blisters on the lips and tongue, when it is called foot and mouth disease. It Is fever, or blood disease, and is contagious and troublesome, but not serious, and easily submits to treatment, as follows : Give one pound of salts, and when that has operated, give one ounce of hyposulphite of soda, daily; wash the sore spots with water and soap, and dress them with an ointment, as follows, viz : Melt four ounces of lard and one ounce of spermaceti together, and one ounce of acetate of copper (verdigris), and stir thoroughly, and while still fluid add one ounce of turpentine and stir until cold. Keep for use. The ointment is excellent for any raw sores or galls, and may be usefully kept in any stable

HOUSEKEEPERS’ HELPS.

Southern Fried Hominy. —Warm some boiled hominy left over from the day before; add to it a tumbler of cream or rich milk, a piece of butter, two wellbeaten eggs, and a little flour; fry in hot butter. Lamb Chops with Spinach. —Trim the chops neatly, boil them perfectly, put a little butter, pepper and salt on them, and arrange them in a circle arounc peas. Put little white paper ruffles around the ends of the chops. Corn-Fritters. —Take half a dozer large ears of corn, cut it from the cob, and mix up with two eggs, a cupful of sweet milk, salt, and enough flour to make a soft batter. Drop a tablespoonful at a timi. into boiling-liot lard. Eioe Waffles. —Beat together a pint of milk, the yolks of three eggs, two ounces of butter and half a teacup of thoroughly boiled rice, sprinkle a little salt and a half teaspoonful of soda into a pint of flour, and then sift it in. Beat thoroughly, and bake iu waffle-irons. Boston Brown Bread. —Two large cups of Indian meal, one large cup of rve-meal, (not rye-flour,) one-half cup of molasses, one teaspoon soda, scald the Indian meal, but keep it thick; when cool add the rye, molasses, and soda, with a little salt and one pint of sponge, which must be very light. This must all bo as thick as can he stirred; set in a warm place to rise in the baking-pan. It should be ready to cook in an hour. To make it more lilo* the genuine article, which is baked in a brick oven, steam it four hours, and then hake in a slow oven an hour or more. It can be made with the same measures without scalding the Indian meal, by mixing soft with warm water to allow the meal to swell. Ryemeal does not swell much. Brown Onion Stew. —Take some fine chopped suet and melt in a saucepan, add a good many onions cut right across, and partially brown them, sprinkle a little flour over them and stir well, adding warm water to make gravy. Put in pepper and salt, and whatever pieces of meat, cut in strips, with a little kidney or liver, you require, or brown these also with the .onions; let simmer about ten minutes or so, and then place carefully well-peeled potatoes on the top. This stew must gently simmer till done and not be stirred about, so that the potatoes come out whole. A few spoonsful of catchup to be added some minutes before serving. It is light of digestion and very nourishing for summer. Steak Pudding.— This is a digestible, nourishing dish for work-people. Make crust of fine-chopped suet, flour and warm watey; place round basin; cut pieces of steak, with some liver or kiduey in strips, and put in with some linechopped onion, pepper, salt and a little mace; moisten with some warm water and close up with crust. If you have no steamer, place a trivet in the bottom of the saucepan and put basin on it, so that the steam from the boiling water below cooks the pudding. When well done,

which you will know by the knife coming clear from the crust, take out, place on a dish, broadside down, and open top a little. Put in a small piece of butter and a couple of spoonsful of catchup, and a beautiful gravy will run out round’ the dish. How absolute some people are in their conversation! There is Smartington, for instance. Said Jones to him, the other evening, “Do you like dogs?” Jones by the way, is a lover of the animal. “I never ate one,” replied Smartington dreamily. “Well, who supposed you did?” exclaimed Jones with impatience. ’“lf I were to ask if you liked donkey, now?” he continued, with a lingering emphasis on “donkey.” Said Smartington ingenuously, “Hike you, Jones.” Vesuvius electrically illuminated appears now nightly as the “mountain of light ”of the Eastern fable. The indescribable grandeur of the spectacle attracts to Naples thousands of tourists from the most distant countries of Europe and America. One of the occupations of young men who are filling up Western Texas is to breed geese. One of these has 3,000 geese, whose feathers are plucked every two months. Each bird will average a pound and a half a year worth 50 cents a pound.

THE MOON.

Statements Going to Show tliat It la Very Hucli Set in Its Way. [From the Popular Science Monthly.] After getting somewhat accustomed to the greatness and strength of a bar of solid steel sixteen and one-half feet square, imagine one which is one mile square— s,2Bo feet wide and as many thick. If it lay on the ground near the Catakill mountains, its upper surface would their highest summit by more than 1,000 feet. It would be equal to 104,200 such monster bars as the last. Its lifting power would be nearly 240,869,000,000 tons. The mind is utterly unable to grasp such figures. The whole globe contains 1,200,000,000 inhabitants. If each man, woman and child could pull with a force of 100 pounds—a large estimate—to move such a weight would require the united efforts of 2,000 such worlds as this. As I shall have frequent occasion to speak of the load which such a bar could sustain, I shall, for convenience, call it in round numbers 240,000,000,000 tons, neglecting the other figures, because the number is so inconceivably great that taking from it a billion or so of tons will alter the result less than one-half of one per centum. This, bar is to be the unit of measure which I shall for the present employ. If half a dozen persons were asked how large the moon appears, they would give as many different replies : “The size of a cart-wheel;” “twelve inches across ; ” “ the size of a dining plate ; ” “as big as a man’s head,” etc. Probably no one would mention a smaller measure, yet a cherry held at arm’s length more than covers its disk. It is difficult to be believed that so small a body exerts any considerable influence on the earth, which seems so immensely larger. It is easy enough to admit that the earth holds the moon in its orbit; but that to do this, to bend its course into a nearly-circular orbit, requires any great outlay of force, is not so clear. Our credulity would be taxed were we asked to believe that the moon, in its efforts to move in a straight line, would break away, although held by a bar of steel one foot square ; for that means a force able to lift nearly 9,000 tons. An astronomer would grant it, making first a mental calculation to see if he were justified in doing so; but even he would hesitate, and perhaps would deny that it was possible the moon could pull asunder one of these great unit bars one mile square, and equal to more than 27,000,000 bars each one foot square. But we would have no hesitation in saying, “Impossible!” if told that, rather than change its course from a straight line to its present curve, our willful little satellite Would snap like pack thread not one, nor tw r o, nor three of those unit bars, but the united strength of 10,000 —or, in other words, one gigantic bar whose section is 100 miles square. Yet, more than eight such bars, or, more precisely, 87,500 unit bars, would but barely deflect the moon into its present path.

Women and Ladies.

In the days of our fathers there were such things to be met with as men and women ; but now they are all gone, and in their place a race of gentlemen and ladies, or, to be still more refined, a race of “ladies and gentlemen,” has sprung up. Women and girls are among the things that were. Biit “ladies” are found . everywhere. Miss Martineau, wishing to see the women wards in a prison in Tennessee, was answered by the Warden, “We have no ladies here at present, madam.” Now, so far as the ladies were concerned, it was very well that none of them were in prison ; but then it sounds a little odd—ladies in prison! It would seem bad enough for women to go to such a place. A lecturer, discoursing upon the characteristics of women, illustrated thus : “ Who were the last at the cross ? Ladies , "Who were the first at the sepulcher? Ladies.” On this modern improvement we have heard of but one tiling that beats the above. It was the finishing touch to a marriage ceremony, performed by an exquisite divine up to all modern refinements. When he had thrown the chain of Hymen round the happy couple, he concluded by saying, “ I now pronounce you husband and lady. ” The audience stuffed their handkerchiefs into their mouths, and got out of the room as quickly as possible to take breath. Mrs. J. W. Mackey often entertains her American friends at her«Trouvillc cottage on the coast of Franco. The costliness of the table service and decorations reminds one of the “Arabian Nights.” Not only gold, silver ahd priceless porcelain were used, but amber, coral, and precious stones were pressed into the service. Ices were served on crystal plates inlaid with uncut gems, and wine and liquors sparkled in flasks of amber, or were contained in flagons of gold, cloisonne, and enamel.

PLENTY of money.

[From the Columbus Evening Dispatch.] Plenty of money secures leisure and buys pleasure; but will not always restore health when lost. Mr. H. Lulay, Suffleld, 0., writes: My wife was affected with Liver Complaint for fifteen years, and could not find any relief, with the aid of all the physicians we consulted. I concluded to try the Hamburg Drops. My wife was cured, and since that day we have not seen a physician in our house. “Probably few persons,” says the London Truth, “ have had so many proposals of marriage as Lady BurdetteCoutts. I wa3 talking a day or two ago with an eminent widower. ‘I, myself,’ he said, * have proposed to her, for I regard this as a duty that every man owes to his family.’ ” [From the Holly (Mich.) Itegister.] The wife of Rev. A. A. Allen, had been afflicted with Rheumatism for the past six years; she tried St. Jacobs Oil one evening, which relieved Ik ref all ptun, and she rested in peace for the night. Onp bottle cured her. Alexandbina, the daughter of the poet Joukoffsky, whom the Russian Grand Duke Alexis recently married and was forced to give up to another man by the Czar, is living in Switzerland with the Grand Duke’s boy, who is a pretty picture of healthy boyhood. “ More food and less medicine, more of nourishment and strength, less of the debilitating influence of drugs, is what our exhausted constitutions require,” said Baron Liebig, when he perfected the composition of the “ Malt Bitters,” prepared by Mait Bitters Co.

A Nice Bed Covering.

White bed spreads are the nicest outside coverings for a bed, as they can be easily washed, and, when clean, are always as good as new. A very pretty -design for one is made by taking two breadths of unbleached, forty-inch cotton cloth, and sewing it together in the middle. Five yarns and a half is a great plenty. A box of stocking yarn, No. 8, is needed. Sew the cloth on quilting frames as you would a bed quilt. Stretch it smoothly, then with a chalk and line mark it comer-wise, in diamond form, having the checks about an inch and a half in size, then with a large needle, and a yard of cotton yam threaded, take a stitch an iachin length, bring the needle back half way, keep the stitches close together, so it will look like a small cord ; it is very rapidly done, if you like to do it. A knot in the center of each diamond looks pretty. A row of Roman heraldry all round the quilt is a pretty finish. A hand hem finishes up the spread, and it *is a nice, durable article that will last for years ; is easy to wash and is as heaw as is needed.— Ex.

Love.

A young lady has a Sunday-school class of rather bright boys, averaging between 7 and 9 years. Recently she requested each pupil to come on the following Sunday with some passage of Scripture bearing on love. The lads heeded the reqdest, and in turn recited their verses bearing upon that popular topic—such as “Love, your enemies” “Little children, love one another,” etc. The teacher said to the boy whose turn came last, “ Well, Robbie, what is your verse?” Rising, he responded, “ Song of Solomon, ii. 5—‘ Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples; fori am sick of love.’ ” Cora L. Y. Richmond, the spiritual clairvoyant, explains that the spirit after death is not clothed in external garments, fashioned as earthly garments are, but affectionate friends, spirits who are in sympathy, gather arouud and adjust the raiment. Garments are woven of atmospheric conditions and spiritual substances surrounding the individual.

Are You Not in Good Health?

If the Liver is the source of your trouble, yon can find an absolute remedy in Da. Banfokd's Liver Invigorator, the only vegetable cathartic which acts directly oil the Liver. Cures all Bilious diseases. For Book address Dr. Sanford, 162 Broadway, New York.

I lic Voltaic Melt Co., Marshall, Mich., Will send their Electro-Voltaic Belts to the afflicted upon thirty days’ trial See their advertisement in this paper, headod, “On Thirty Days’ TriaL" Vegetine. —The great success of the Vegetine as a cleanser and purifier of the blood is shown beyond a doubt by the great numbers who have taken it, and received immediate relief, with such remarkablo cures. Dr. C. E. Shoemaker, the well-known aural surgeon of Beading, Pa., offers to sen'd by mail, free of charge, a valuable little book on deafness and diseases of the ear—especially on running ear and catarrh, and their proper treatment—giving references and testimonials that will satisfy the most skepticaL Address as above. Vegetine will regulate tiio bowels to healthy action, by stimulating the secretions, cleansing and purifying the blood of poisonous humors, and, in a" healthful and natural manner, expels all impurities without weakening the body. Amuse the children with the Puzzle Cards. Sec advertisement in another column of this paper. Young men from all parts of the United States go to H. B. Bryant's Chicago Business College. Its classes are always large and full of interest. Every fanner and teamster should know that Frazer axle grease coxes sore necks and scratches on horses. Bead the Puzzle Card advertisement in another column’of this paper. Wilhoft’s Fever and Ague Tonic. This old reliable remedy now sells at one dolls*. 25c. buys a pair of Lyon’s Heel Stiffeners and make a boot or shoe last twice as long. Puzzle Cards, new and novol. See advertisement in another column.

9a right era, Wive* and Mother*. DR. MABCHISI’S UTERINE OATHOLICON will positively cure Female Weaknos*. such as Falling of the Womb, Whites, Chronic Inflammation or Ulceration of the Womb,lncidental Hemorrhage or Flooding, Painful, Suppressed and Irregular Menstruation, do. An old and lelialile remedy. Send postal oard tor a pamphlet, with treatment, cures and ceitifica’es from physicians and patients, to HOWARTH A BALLARD, Utioa, N. Y. Sold by all Druggists—sl.6o per bottle.

THE MARKETS.

NEW YORK. Beeves $8 25 @lo' 50 Hogs 4 50 @ 7 15 Cotton > 12 Flour—Superfine 3 40 @ 4 00 Wheat No. 2 Spring I 02 @ 1 05 Coun—Ungraded 50 @ 52 Oats—Mixed Western 40 @ i'S Rye—Western 90 @ 95 Pork —Mess 15 90 @l6 00 Lard B)tf CHICAGO. Beeves—Choice Graded Steers 4 95 @ 5 35 Co'vs and Heifers 2 40 @3 50 Medium to Fair 4 00 («; 4 75 Hogs. 4 50 @ 5 f 5 Flour—Fancy White Winter Ex.... 5 50 @ 5 75 Good to Choice Spring Ex.. 425 ©5 00 Wheat—No. 2 Spring 93 @ 94 No. 3 Spring 85 (4 87 ConN—No. 2 39 40 Oats—No. 2 28 © 29 Rye—No. 2 83 (a) 84 Barley—No. 2 75 @ 76 Butter —Choice Creamery 25 (§ 27 Eggs—Fresh a 13 © 15 Pork—Mess 17 50 @l7 75 Lard 7%@ 8 • MILWAUKEE. Wheat—No. 1 1 05 @ 1 07 No. 2 91 (A 92 Corn—No. 2 40 @ 41 Oats—No 2 29 @ 30 Rye—No. 1 84 @ 85 Barley—No. 2 72 @ 73 ST. LOUIS. Wheat—No. 2 Red 90 @ 91 Corn—Mixed 38 @ 39 Oats—No. 2 29 @ 30 Rye.., ..... 82 @ 83 Pork—Mess 15 50 @l6 00 Lard 7%@ 8 CINCINNATI. Wheat 90 @ 95 Corn 45 © 46 Oats 33 @ 34 It ye 89 @ 90 Pork —Mess , 16 00 @l6 50 Lard 7?.£@ 8 TOLEDO. Wheat—No. 1 White 95 @ 96 No. 2-Red 96 @ 97 Corn—No. 2 43 (ft, 44 Oats—No.. 2 32 @ 33 DETROIT. Flour—Choice 4 75 @ 5 00 Wheat—No. 1 White 95 @ 96 Corn—No. 1 45 @ 46 Oats —Mixed 34 @ 85 Barley (per cental) 1 25 @ 1 75 Pork—Mess 16 50 @l6 75 INDIANAPOLIS. Wheat—No. 2 Red 91 @ 92 Corn 40 @ 41 Oats 31 @ 33 Pork—Clear .. .15 75 @l6 00 EAST LIBERTY, PA. Cattle—Best 4 7.6 © 5 00 Fair 4 25 @ 4 50 Common 3 50 © 4 00 Hogs 4 90 © 5 45 Sheep 3 25 @ 4 60

tfin a week. sl2 : a day at home easily made. Costly 9/4 Outfit free. Address True A Co., Augusta. Ms. Frtls CONCAVE ENGLISH RAZORS, 81.50. E. Howcroft, 235 West 26th St., New York City. A GOOD FARMS, near Leman,lowa.withnew i Dwellings, to let on easy terms. Apply to CLOSE BROS. A CO., Lemars, lowa. SMI M) Ml A YEAR and expenses to j/ '7 '7 agents. Outfit Free. Address P. m M M o. VICKERY, Augusta, Mains. flTtnfl for the TRADE. Territory given. |f 11 IJ.fIJ.I L V ENTERPRISE CARRIAGE CO., DUUUILIO Cincinnati, O. Catalogue FREE. Ami HI Morphine Habit Cored la I* OPIUM SSSKS, SsraaffiSTSS Read Chicago Ledger.

. jSfIIRsA Sk THE CUBEAT GERMAN BLOOD PURIFIER, CURES DYSPEPSIA, Liver Complaint, Costiveness, Bilious Attacks, Indigestion, Jaundice, Loss of Appetite, Headache, Dizziness, Nausea, Heartburn, Depression of Spirits, Sores, Boils, Pimples, Skin Diseases, Eruptions. Foul Breath, and all Diseases arising from Impure Blood. Th« Hamburg Drops are recommended as being; the best and cheapest Family Medicine ever offered, and are sold by Druggists and Dealers at 50- Cent* a Bottle. Directions in Eleven Languages. Genuine bean the fao-simile signature, and private proprlotary stamp of A. VOGELER A CO., Baltihoke, Mb., U.B. A. Ann a week in your own town. Terms and $5 Outfit Sp D D free. Address H. Ha matt & Co.. Portlnnd, Me. *nrn A MONTH! Agents Wanted! \ -{nil V 5 Best-Selling Articles in the world: a sansVUVIU ple/r«. JAY BRONSON. Detroit, Mich. VOUNC MEN SsaafCTRM ■ morth. Every gradiiate guaranteed a paying situation. Address R. Valentine, Manager, Janesville, win. Pnpd Writ pro ufllll nil lulu Address CARD DEPOT, 170 Fifth Are., Chicago, 111. CAD QAI C—The Rost Literary Weekly Paper in the rUli OH LC West. Large circulation and good advertising patronage. Proprietor desires to Fell in order to (engage in other business. Address BTEKLE, care Newspaper Union, Chicago, 111.

AGENTS wishing to canvass lor the Lives of GARFIELD c HANCOCK Should write at once for Circulars and terms of agency to FORSHEE A MoMAKIN, Cincinnati, O. TRUTH IS MIC.nTYt (Aw j LWjL] * r T *° f °r "If. Initials .r UfcJgjLS 9 JuufsZj *r£r."rJSflEi is mm Immbme I A.s©nt»W anted to Soil B W S GARFIELDFWS HANCOCK. The only standard authoritative works. Indorsed by the candidates. Agents coining money. Best terms. Outfit IVee. Act at once. Address mJBBAUI) BBOS., Chicago, 111. Mill Showing Portraits of the Candidates for President and Vice President. New and novel. A set of four sonfc by mail for throe 3-cent stamps. Address CABB BEPOT,I7» Fifth Av«. a Chicago, 111. NATRONA” 8 Is the best in the World. It is absolutely pure. It is th* best for Medicinal Purposes. It is the best for Baking -nd all Family Uses. Sold by aP Druggist* and. Grooera. Fean’a Salt Maaufacfing Co.. PMa. Encyclopedias TIOUETTES BUSINESS This is the cheapest and only complete Hnd reliable work on Etiquette and Business and Social Forms. It tellß how to perform all the various duties of life, and how to appear to the best advant-ge on all occasions. Agents Wauled,—Send for circulars containing a full description of the work and extra terms to Agents. Address NATIONAL PUBLISHING CO.. Chicago, 111.

C GILBERT'S STARCH

FOR CHILLS AND FEVER ANTD ALL DX9SASHS CAUSED BY Malarial Poisoning OF THE BLOOD. A Warranted Cure. Price, SI.OO. fW FOB SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. , Aft BBiyMllilwMUilWLyiiiL I mmwm LIQUID Cottage Colors. 30 SHADES EEADY FOB USE. The Best Mixed I’niiit in the Market. Be sure and buy them. Send for circulars to CMc® WMte Lead aid Oil Co,, COR. GREEN AND FULTON STS., Manufacturers of White Lead, Zfno. Linseed Oil, Putty, etc. All Goods Guaranteed. H jmt© jNciricoy i lITHAT ACTS AT THH SAME TIME OHfl fa THE LIVER, U Q THE BOWELS, H PJ . and the KIDNEYS.M II This combined action gives itwon\k Me lorfjd power to cure all’diseascs. II IjWnjr sH=]r=KHmi2H S 3 Became we allow these great organs U Qto become dogged or torpid, CTuffv M poisonous humors are therefore forcedwA mjhnto the blood that should be eapehedn n KIDNEY COMPLAINTS, URINARY II DISEASES, FEMALE WEAK* kj I II VI by coming free action of these organmw U and restoring their power to throw offi\ U Why Suffer Biliouspalns and aches f I PCT Why tormented with Piles, Const!nation !«| | J Why frightened over disordered Kidneys tFJ ■■ Why endure nervous or sick headaches! ■■ Why have sleepless night. I U H Use KIDNEY WORT and !»■ ? 1 health. It it a dry , vegetable compoundandWW y One package will make six Qtaor Medlrlne.fi |D Get it of your Druggist, ht will order uttl Q for you. Pries, SI.OO. $1 B WELLS, EICHABDSOH * CO., Proprietor!, U (Willed p«t paid.) Burlington, Vt. PH ON.U. Ha 38 YKTHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS, If. please say yon saw the advertlsemem la thlii paper.