Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 August 1880 — A Smart Woman. [ARTICLE]

A Smart Woman.

A nice, respectable lady, not a thousand miles away, had long noticed, to her dismay, that her “worser half’ was growing foolishly suspicious and jealous of her. She resalved to teach him a lesson. Some evenings since, as he was leaving, she told him he need not hurry back—she would not be lonely—she wished her ducky to enjoy himself, eta Benedict smelt a veritable mice under that hypocrisy, and resolved to be avenged. About eight o’clock, “an individual” about his size might have been seen creeping cautiously along to the door, and noiselessly Benedict peeped in. Just as he expected, there they were—a pair of boots, a coat on the back of a chair, and a hat on the table. Benedict shivered like an aspen leaf, as he stopped, pulled off his boots, and drew a pistol from bis coat pocket. With “resolution flashing from his eyes,” he made tracks for the bedroom. There he was, kneeling at the bedside, coat and vest off, and head on the pillow. Miserable villian! his time had come. “ Say your prayers, villian—your time is short!” and a flash and a report told that the bullet had sped on its fatal mission. “Help, murder, watch! O, is that you?” and madam popped her little head up from the foot of the bed. Benedict seized the body, and found it to be a miscellaneous collection of old coats, vests, pillows, handkerchiefs, and the like, made up expressly for the occasion. “I say, my dear, what does all this mean?” exclaimed the husband, with a blank, sheepish look. “Well, love,” replied the wife, “ I did get lonely, after all, and just amused myself by dressing up that puppet, and making believe you were at home. I’m sure, I don’t think you’d suspect—” “There, there,” said the chagrined husband, “say no more about it; I thought it was a robber; dear creature, I’m so glad it didn’t hit you!” Benedict now repeated “Now I lay me,” etc., and went to bed, resolved not to watch any more at present.