Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 May 1880 — COLLOQUIALISM—NO. 4. [ARTICLE]

COLLOQUIALISM—NO. 4.

The Sentinel does not even pretend to deny any statements made in the Republican by T;.i Red Mudsucker Bitters. It is uot necessary. The people detect his faLhoods without any aid from is. Even the statement that an adjoining county merged a Democratic majority of 250 into a Republican of 200, we do not dispute for the reason that the i eople know its utter falsity,and know, toe, that the knowledge of the swill tub that exudes them is exceedingly limited. Oh, no, we doiA dispute any thing ho says, not even his reputed confabs with “le ding” D m c at , although we are fully aware that ‘■lending’* Democrat?, in tiie se..s< in which he express's the term, do not exist h ue. Al! J emo rats are e<pial—may have different views it r fereLce to what n ay sub erve the best it terest- of the party ai d the country, and those differences must b‘, and are respected. Again, lionet Democrats treat him, his advice, hijibes anti jeers, much in the mannei our Savior treated that other radical, and friend of our neighbor across the way, when he offeied Him possessionto which he had no title with spun - ing, loathing contempt. So much in response to the wailings of the whipped spaniel who dolefully complains because we do not deign to deny th< falsehoods published. Oi the other hand we do not insist upon our readears to believe the “Colloquialisms,” or interviews between “Bitters” and his cruel taskmaster, “Ringster”. A comparison of these reported interviews with the coments of the Republican, will establish the correctness of the reports, and identify the remorseless and impudent control of the radical “ring.” Ringster—Well, Bitters, you have played the deuce this week. In your first scratch, you stigmatise the Nationals as “n ongrel greenbackers.” Why, you are the dirtiest, meanest “mongrel” I know of. Here, we’ve been trying our utmost to bring about a fusion with us, and, like a fool, you step in and break it all up. Bitters—W-w-well Ringster—Blns Jyour skunkivt rous senseless, ill-timed twaddle; you wait till I’m through. Bitters— l’ll w-w-wait.

Ringster—You go on stating that they have lost confidence in Ma k. and seriously contemplate starting a greenback “organ”, but close up by showing that you have more to fear from such a project than he has. — You are smart?

Bitters—Well, I d-d-didn’t mean to convey that idea. Ringster—ldea! You don’t know what constitutes an idea. Then you bring up the matter of employing a number of men to take Mack down down to the river, when vou know the proposition was entertained in the ring with reference to yourself, and was only prevented from being carried out, by your plea that you were mentally and physically so soft, the dirt was essentially necessary to hold you together. This is known outside of the ring, too, and renders your effort to be smart, sharp and witty at Maek.s expense, absurd in the extreme.

Bitters—H-h-how did it get out? Ring..' ter—No doubt you blabbed it. Bitters—No, I-I-I didn’t. I d-didu’t blab about that egging either. It made me sick when I read the reler•nce to it in the Sentinel. "There is no pleasure in stirring up” these stnking transactions. While I sat there, I was “unable fto peruse it carefully and retain the equilibrium of * stomach.” My medicated editor who wrote the leader in favor of my per soual friend and patron, Jim Blaine, called on me at the office next merning, felt my pulse, and recommended quiet and a light diet. The General kindly called and consoled me with the old adage that ‘a skunk,” when kicked by a gentleman, “is sure to get the worst of the bargain.” Ringster—Ho! ho! hoi You were easily consoled. Bitters—Yes; and he also said I had started in on a pledge to do some scalping, but that Mack had stepped In and made my wool fly every time I don’t understand that.

Ringster—No; scarcely, A fool who can reap consolation from the adage will not readily understand anything

Bitters—A minister came in and I read to him from the Rochester Sentinel: “A report that the Rensselaer Republican has changed hands and that the editor and family were to return to this place, is without foundation.” I construed that to mean they were as anxious to have we back, as I was to be with them; but he sympathetically shook his head, and smilingly, though sorrowfully, remarked: “Ah, brether; don’t flatter yourself in that way. No doubt your family wo’d bo heartily welcomed home, but that was designed to give relief to your party there, who hope and pray that you may remain in Jasperfcounty.” Now, that’s what I call oretty rough. How can a man so spiritually inciin ed as I content myself to remain in a town where the High School graduates educate the “heel and toe” as well as the head, and where “Schoolboy” productions light isto one like a pile ot brick. Then, too, I’m sorely troubled over the conduct of my personal and political friend. Lyman Zea. We elected him to the high and Important office of constable, and he has stepped down for a short time to

“walk for a wager.” When may I say "the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest?” Mack, he’s wicked. Senator Wade Hampton hasaocep • ed an invitation to address a G. A. R. Post in Pittsburgh. Pa., this month. The Blaine and Sherman squealers are call {Grant ugly names, and the Grant retainers retort in kind. The happy family will meet at Chicago, June 2. “If it.contained the shadow ®f a single fact it might be considered funny.—Republican. Terribly mixed proposition. “Funny’ if true. Not “funny” if not true. Well there is more truth than poetry in the conclusions of the items referred to. The so-called republican party is • wont to sport itself as to its majority in the Northern States. We do not take kindly to sectional divisions and classifications, regarding them as unpaiiotic and discreditable, but we t nnk wd should knock that radical persimmon off the bush. The republican vote two years age, in the twenty Northern States, was 2,252,310. The opposition was 2,488,311. a trifling margin of 230,031 against that pretension. And thus is another Republican bubble punctured.