Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 May 1880 — Woman’s Tears. [ARTICLE]

Woman’s Tears.

Stop this scientific business where it is, and don’t let it go any further. It is robbing life of all that is worth living for. Only a short time ago one of these scientific joskins analyzed a tear that had trickled down upon the cheek of a lady who wanted a new dress, and he found it to contain phosphate of lime, chloride of sodium and water. Ever since reading thqt analysis we have lost faith in tears, and, no matter what a person is bellowing about, we can only look at the tears as they flow over beauty’s cheek and think of the phosphate of lime, chloride of sodium and water. The infernal analysis has knocked all the poetry out of tears for us, and we feel as though we wanted our money back. If the scientist will refund what he has taken from ns he can have his old analysis. We would like to throw him in a corner and jump on him. He has robbed us. Oh, give us back them other days, when tears were tears and not chloride of sodium and other nauseating drugs ! — New York World.