Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 May 1880 — Same Thing with the Ancients. [ARTICLE]

Same Thing with the Ancients.

There was an expression of unusual pleasantry on the face of the wrathful Achilles that morning, and the crafty Ulysses accosted him with more than his wonted heartiness on that account. “You’re out early this morning,” remarked the wily one. “ Yes,” said the sulky one, “but then I was out late last night. You see, I had a pretty good thing on my mind, this morning, and I was afraid if I slept too long, I might forget it. I was out last night, went down to see Briseis, in fact, and sat up pretty la+e. Fact is, I’m clear gone there. No use talking, she just breaks me all up. Well, when I came away somebody had sat on my hat, new Broadway style, and we had a time straightening it out. I says, say»s-I

never thought of it before, either, just popped into my head at that minute, ‘Briseis, dear,’ I says, and I clapped it on her head, ‘both mashed; both mashed on BrWeis,’ see ?” “ Mashed ?” repeated Ulysses, in some wonder. “Mashed? I don’t see. You weren’t mashed. You great giant, why all the cavalry in Diomedes’camp might run over you and not—” But Achilles, with a look of wrathful disgust settling down over his face, strode away to his tent. “ Patroclus!” he cried, and when the young man appeared he said to him: “Take a conch shell and two bass drums and go down behind Ulysses’ tent and practice overtures all day. And, if he says anything about it, send him to me.” And he told his armor-bearer that there wasn’t enough intellectual culture in all Greece to-day, to go around a Phoenician primary school in the holidays. — liurlington Ha irk-Eye.