Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 May 1880 — COLLOQUIALISM—NO. 2. [ARTICLE]

COLLOQUIALISM—NO. 2.

Ringster-Bitter-, when we undertake to assist you ir is hardly the fair thing in you to give us away. Bitters -W-w-why, ——- • and a few other friends, were the only ones who knew anything about it. Ringster—You go to thunder 1— Didn’t Mack expose the whole arlangement just as clearly as though yo i h;.d explained the whole matter to him. Bitters—B-b but j <1 <1 didn’t. I know I’m considerable of a f-f-f fool, but I I I’m not fool enough to do that. Ringster—Well, some of those “few other friends” did it then. Bitters—Can you h-h-help me out this week? ttingwter— No, I can't trust myse> to far again, but I’il map out the programme for you, and you can proem .-ome other fiicii'l to put tin- il< ms i shape—but blast yom leviathan cat cass, don’t you blow on him! Bitter.-, i II won’t.

Ringster Well, take a seat by m and write down the points tis 1 gi ■< t.n m to you. I’d not Host my man iiscript in your hands again. Bitters —B it I d-d didn’t— Ringster—Shut up! Don’t I know; Diu’t you try to palm it off as original—on , at the head of the stairs, between Cl.ih ote’s and your cilice; and oi J ,byt ie post olliec"dooi' Now, listen to me. This week follow out the policy as I give it to you: First—Endeavor to create an im pression that Mack is dreadfully con ceiled over his brother’s prowess in the war against the rebellion. Second -Enter a plea that “Men of principle admire an open political enemy, but detest a sneaking, eollud ing trickster,” etc. Of course we an not “men of principle”, never had any of that article, but always aimed fm the spoils, and many a time sneaketl and colluded to secure them. Oi course Mack and the Democratii: party and the National party will follow out a Imo of policy and princitde they may deem best and proper, but al. the same time itjis to our interest t> work up a quarrel in the ranks if ,possible. You 11 have to lie like the devil, and stick to it. It is our only hope.

Bitters—l will d-d-do as you say. Third—Try and ruflic Mack’s temper, if possible, for he’s as cool ami collected as you limithem. Intimate that he’s not very bright. Of course there is no margin for an insinuation of that, kind from you. A small squash placed on a bulky stump wo’d present as imposing appearance, and < ontain an equal amount of intelligence with yourself. This comparison will no doubt strike all who may read your insinuation against Mack, and produce dei isive laughter at your expense. But you must gotid Mack, if i.t is possible to do so. Bitters—l w w-will. Ringster—O, shut up! Everybody, knows you can’t. Somebody must do it for you Don’t you attempt it, you’ll botch the job. Do you hear? Bitters—Y-y-yes.

Fourth—Shut down broad and Hat on the charge that others perform editorial duties for you. Of course, the moiety of brains that you possess does not amount to much, hut you insist all the same that you furnish nil the braiiio. Fifth—Try and get the impression oat that “White county merged from a Democratic majority of three him died to it solid Republican majority,” during Mack’s stay there. Bitters—That’s a lie; ain't it? Ringster--What if it is? Bitters- O, nothing; but I wish it was true, so that I could prove it. Ringster—You state it all the sameOf course it’s a lie; but nothing risked, nothing won.

The programme, as nearly as possible Is contained m this weeks Repub liean. The following is original witli the Made-yer. We copy it, and follow with comments to show the level to which the Republican is reduced, connecting his statement, with public opinion as recently evinced by a Republican, a Democrat, and one who on last Satuday declared to us he had “voted the Republican ticket for the pst time.” But to the original item: “Some of the leading Democrats of Rensselaer say that if Lyman Zea was not such a radical they believe he would do a better job of editing the Democratic Sentinel than Uncle Jimmy.” * * * *

The above article is purely original with the editor of the Republican. Two or three weeks ago a Republican called to; “Mack, you’re a regular Democrat, but I want the Democrat sent to me until after the election. I ordered the copy of the Republican addressed to me discontinued.”

A Democrat says to the edit.tr of the Republican recently; "I receive the Republican by virtue of tiie transfer of Mr. Cissel’s list to you. The time for which I subscribed has about expired, and, as I am taking one county paper I do not wish the Republican.” Editor—“ Well, discontinue the Sentinel and take the Republican.” Democrat—“No, sir; that wouldn’t be an even exchange. Stop sending me the Republican.” Late Republican—“ Mack, the time for which I subscribed tor the Republican will soon expire, and I will then subscribe for the Sentinel. 1 have voted the Republican ticket for the last time.” We introduce tip's matter only to «olve the problem; If the editorial management of the Sentinel is a bud job, what then must be the condition of tiie Republican?

The radical Mate oigan intonated [n a late issue that Union soldiers were “rats.” The Senate Committee on Commerce authorizes the change of tiie name of the steam yacht “Maria” to that of Daniel W. Voorhees. Young Stephen A. Douglas, in a recent speech, said: “Indiana is one of those States that is always just going to be a Republican State, and just ain’t.” General Weaver, author of the celebrated Weaver bill, in a speech at Indianapolis, Wednesday evening of List week made the most terrible arraignment of the radical party ever heard in that city. So say those who were present. The supreme court of Pennsylvania recently decidt-d that a note, the date of which was primed 187—, I iq on which the “7” has been altered to an “8” on account of the enumeration required in this d-cade, is invalid. Il will be well for those haling stock printed fur use in last decade now on §Juud, and which they d< sire to us up, to be careful and not use it for legal purposes. -Valparaiso Messenger.