Democratic Sentinel, Volume 4, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 April 1880 — “Cause he Wasn’t a Great Man.” [ARTICLE]

“Cause he Wasn’t a Great Man.”

“De odder night, in de Club library, I heard a member of de Club grievin’ ’cause he wasn’t a great man,” said the President of the Lime Kiln Club, as the hall grew quiet. “It am natural ’nuff dat we should all want to get ahead. It am not unreasonable in any man to want to be top of de heap. Preachers, poets, editors an’ lecturers all encourage us to dig 'long an’ starve to carve our name on de cubalow of de temple of fame. An’ yet what a holler mockery fame am. Darwas Shakespeare. He had toofache same as common man. He had his blue days, same as de poor white. De rain poured down on him same as on Samuel Shin—he fell in de mud, same as Elder Tooth—his grocer wanted cash same as mine. Dar was Bryon, de poet. His name am as high as de steeples, and yet his corns ached, same as Waydown Bebee’s—butcher carts run him down, same as Trustee Pulback—street-kyar drivers rang de bell on him, same as on Squar Williams. Dar was Queen ’Lizibeth. She had a big palace, heaps o’ waiters and lo’s of cloze; but she had big feet, got baldheaded, and couldn’t see any more of Niagery Falls for $5 dan my old woman did for two shillins. Greatness may bring store cloze, but it dosen’t alius bring happiness. Fame may bring a house pervided with a burglar alarm, but de higher de frame de higher de gas bills. If; greatness comes foolin’ around you catch him by de coattails. If he neber comes be contented widout him. A home—wife an’ children —plenty to eat—pew rent paid and a pig in de pen am good ’nuff for any man, and he who seeks to climb higher am just as apt to bust his suspender buttons as to git dar. Wid dese few reflexshuns on de incontestancy of earthly greatness, we will now disband ourselves to business.”—Detroit Free Press.

Some contemptible rascal climbed up on a back roof of the village hotel at Adrian, near Tiffin, Ohio, removed a pane of glass from a bedroom window, and, saturating the pillow of a young lady stopping at the hotel with coal oil, set it on fire. Fortunately, the only damage was the loss of a beautiful head of hair of the young lady, and a burned pillow’. A Chester Valley (Pa.) young lady is the owner of several calla lilies, the roots of which were procured for her great-grandfather from the banks of the Nile. Dr. Bull’s Cough Syrup gives by far the best satisfaction and takes the lead of all cough preparations on our shelves—Carpenter & Palmefer, Jamestown, N. Y,