Democratic Sentinel, Volume 3, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 July 1879 — Too Close a Calculation. [ARTICLE]

Too Close a Calculation.

“Get your ticket at the wagon!” screamed the doorkeeper of the circus to a young man with a girl on his arm, who had a handful of small change. “This is the third time you have come here without tickets, when you know I can’t take money/’ The young man and his girl fell back, and as they did not go near the ticket-wagon, and yet seemed very anxious to see the circus, a curious-minded citizen edged around and inquired of the young man: “ Why don't you buy tickets if you want to go in ?” “ ’Cause I’m short! ” was the whispered reply. “ I didn’t ’low enough -for incidentals when I was figgering on the cost of this thing, but I don’t want the gal to know it! ” “How much are you shore? ” “Only 5 cents. I figgered that 10 shillings would, pay all expenses, but I got left. We spent 10 cents for peanuts, 10 cents on the street cars aDd 5 in candy I had just $1 left to pay our way in, when the gal got a peanutshuck in her throat and I had to buy a glass of lemonade to wash it down. Didn’t do it, though, till I had pounded her on the back more’n fifty times, and tried to puli one of them fire-hydrants up by the roots.” “I’ll lend you 5 cents to make up your dollar,” said the citizen. “You will? By gosh! But that lets me out! I’d made up my mind to tell the gal that the tigers had gotToose and the hyenas had run mad, but she’s long headed and might not have believed it. Thankee, Sir, and the fust time I’m in town I*ll pay it back. Hang it, I orter figgered on 11 shilling ’stead of 10, but you’ve made me happy for life. Come, Bets.” —Detroit Free Press.