Democratic Sentinel, Volume 3, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 May 1879 — “Fifteen Cents Off.” [ARTICLE]

“Fifteen Cents Off.”

A Detroiter, who dresses well and has a reasonable share of good looks, had occasion last week to make a trip in the country, and one night he found himself at a farm house at which a party was to come off. He was invited to participate in the festivities, and, after he had consented, the old farmer took him around the corner of the house and said: “The young folks are mighty fond of any game with kissing in it. They’ll get up something and fix it to make you kiss the handsomest girl in the room.” “Well, I’ll kiss her,” was the prompt reply. “Yes, but hold on a little,” continued the o.’d man. “There’s my gal, Emma. We think she’s as purty as any of ’em, but certain folks around here kinder sniff at her ’cause her nose crooks a bit and her hair is a trifle high-colored. Now, I want you to kiss Em for the handsomest gal in the room. It’ll do the ole woman good, do Em good, and kindei' set these sniffers back a little. I don’t ask you to kiss her for nothing, but, if you’ll do it, I’ll throw 15 cents off’n your bill in the morning. What d’ye say?” The young man said he’d do it, and the father continued : * That’s the checker. Don’t have any make-believe about it, but kiss her right pop out, so that we kin all hear the smack! ” The game was played, the Detroiter was “fixed,” and he kissed “Em” like the pop of a pistol. He felt all the happier for it that night, seeing how greatly the old woman was pleased, but next forenoon as he jogged along he had to run the gantlet of a score of farmers’ sons waiting in fence corners to lick him because he passed their “ gals ” by for “Em.” He was struck by thirteen stones, six clubs and about a, bushel of potatoes before he got out of the neighborhood, and, when he came to figure up, he realized that 15 cents was no inducement at all.— Detroit Free Press.