Democratic Sentinel, Volume 3, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 April 1879 — The Folly of Virtue. [ARTICLE]

The Folly of Virtue.

A very good and pious-looking young man applied for a position in a wellknown store last week. After he had introduced himself and made known his wants, the proprietor informed him that he would like to have a clerk if he could get one that would suit him. “I suppose you go to church, eh?” he commenced. “ Yes, sir.” “Do you drink?” continued the merchant, eyeing him sharply. “Never!” “Do you use tobacco in any form?” Here the young man pushed the quid into the roof of his mouth, and replied, with a smile that was childlike and bland, “I never use the weed, and never did. I consider it the lowest and most shocking habit that a man can be addicted to.” “Do you frequent the policy shops?” “No, sir; never.” “Do you go to the National Theater, dog fights, or boxing exhibitions?” “Never was at any in my life,” was the emphatic answer. “Can you tell the ace of diamonds from the king of clubs ?” . “I know nothing whatever of cards.” “Do you ever bet?” “No, sir, I don’t!” “ Suppose,” said the merchant, “a man should offer to bet SI,OOO to $lO that a three-legged goat could outrun a greyhound, would you take him?” “No, sir!” “Then you won’t do for this establishment ; we don’t want you—we never hire fools!” That youth won’t be so good next time.