Democratic Sentinel, Volume 2, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 November 1878 — MISS JELLABY’S MATCH. [ARTICLE]

MISS JELLABY’S MATCH.

Miss Jellaby rose at 6 one beautiful August morning, and, throwing open her chamber window, sniffed once or twice at the fragrance coming up from the roses in the garden below. Then she hunted a moment for her spectacle’s upon the bureau, and, putting them on, looked eagerly at liandall Cottage, over the way. A very modest, pretty little homo it was, with roses and syringas growing under each window, and woodbine and jessamine climbing over the door: but Miss Jellaby was not admiring its beauty just then. She looked up at a front window on the second floor, and gave a vicious snort. “As I expected! She isn’t up yet, and here it is (i o’clock! And where is he, I wonder?” Before she had time to answer the question as it was asked—mentally.— the front door of the cottage opened, and Miss Jellaby, shrinking behind her curtain, saw a handsome, sun-burned man come out, and go down the gardenwalk, with a cigar in his mouth. It was easy to see, by the slight roll in his walk, that he had been a sailor, though, for the matter- of that, his bearing, handsome face, and frank, hearty manner, would have told the tale, if lie had never stirred a step. With his hands in his pockets, he sauntered among the roses, bending down now and then, and always removing the cigar from his lips when he did so. “He couldn’t do more if he was speaking to a woman,” said the spinster, applying her eye to a hole left purposely in the white curtain. “ The man is mad about flowers I do believe, and she is a touch beyond him, if such a thing can be. Ah, there she comes—and dressed in blue gingham, too. I wonder what her morning-gowns cost her throughout the year. And her slippers -oh, mercy! there they go right through the wet —well, there—” Words failed the worthy spinster. Meanwhile the owner of the slippers (and very pretty little affairs they were —bronzed, laced daintily and rosetted witji a spangle that shone like a dewdrop) stripped down the walk, so lightly that the gentleman did not hear her step, and, coming upon him as he bent over a bed of violets, gave him a push that sent him on his face among them. To see her laugh—to seo him blunder up and chase her through the alleys—to see him kiss her, when he prisoned her at last in his arms—and to see her pretend to box his ears for it—was a sight for a loving heart to watch—but Miss Jellaby, over opposite, nearly fainted away with horror. She rang her bell violently, and a square-faced, sourlookiug woman, who had lived with her for years, made her appearance.

“ Susan! ” “Well,” Haiti that amiable domestic briefly. Before Miss Jellaby could speak the unconscious pair transgressed against propriety again. “Walking up and down in broad daylight, with his arm around her waist—just look at her, Susan! Do you mean to stand there and tell me that that man is only her brother?” .“Dear me, ma’am—how can I tell? I only know that they look alike, and that they have the same name.” “How do you know?” “Because I saw their linen one day at the laundresses, and hers was marked Helen Graham, and his Philip Graham. And the servant told the woman that she had always lived with Miss Helen and Master Philip, when they were at their own home in England. What more do you want ?” “Susan, you will break my heart yet —I am sure of it! Is it possible you knew all this? When did you find it out?” “ Tuesday.” “And this is Friday. For three whole days you have kept me in this disgraceful ignorance! Susan, we shall have to pai t! ” “Good Lord! Miss Jellaby, how was I to know that I ought to come and tell you? said Susan, tartly. “I’m sure it’s ho great news, after all is said and done.” “Humph! That we shall see, later on. It’s my opinion that some one ought to speak to Mr. Fullerton.” “The minister? What for?” “Are you such a fool, Susan, as not to see what it means? Miss Helen and Master Philip, indeed! I wonder at your swallowing such a story. They are no more brother and sister than you and I are.” “Well, what are they, then?” “That remains to be told—the wretches! But Mr. Fullerton will soon set them to rights. I shall go and see him after breakfast. I don’t know what the poor man would do without me.” “Have some peace, I suppose,” muttered Susan, under her breath, as she followed Miss Jellaby down to the parlor. Susan loved her mistress, and was a faithful servant to her, but she detested scandal of all kinds, and never could be brought to take that interest in other people’s business which was considered right and proper by the worthy spinster. Breakfast being over, Miss Jellaby sauntered forth to the parsonage. The good pastor looked up with a

meek sigh, as that lady entered his study. The clergyman was a quiet, peaceloving man, somewhat timid withal, and the spinster always overpowered him with her arguments, when she attempted to do so. She stayed nearly half an hour with him, and at the expiration of that time people who were on the lookout saw her conveying the unhappy parson in the direction, and, at last, through the very gate of Randall Cottage. A tidy-looking old servant admitted them, ushered them into a pleasant nursery-room, and said she would go and tell her mistress of their arrival. Mr. Fullerton sat on the edge of his chair, very uneasy in his mind, and wishing with all his heart that he was at home again. Miss Jellaby strode up and down the room like a dragoon, eying everything about her, and making observations in an undertone which, however, he could not help hearing. “ Such extravagance! Look at that carpet, now—all roses and lilies, and straggling green vines. Why can’t they be contented with a drugget, as I am ? ” She took another turn.

“And a guitar! Spaniards, I don’t doubt, or Italians, and the rest follows as a matter of course. Mr. Fullerton, I believe these people are heathens! ” “ Hardly, I think, or they never would have come to church last Sunday.” “ Oh, you don’t know that; perhaps they had some private end to gain by it,” said Miss Jellaby. The spinster’s unreasonable suspicions tickled Mr. Fullerton beyond measure. She saw him laughing, and grew indignant. “ Let those laugh that win, I say, Mr. Fullerton. I don’t doubt you will feel more like crying before this business is settled.'” “ Not I,” said the minister, with a rueful look. “A crucifix, as I am a sinner!” she murmured, a moment afterward. “ There, Mr. Fullerton, what did I tell you?—hanging on the wall here in broad daylight. Shall I pull it down?” “Are you beside yourself, Miss Jellaby ? ” said Mr. Fullerton, springing up and arresting .her hand just in time. The sound of voices and laughter in the garden prevented her giving him what she called “ a piece of her mind.” There was a race up the broad path that sobered into a walk when the young people neared the window, followed by the old servant, who had been into the grounds to call them. They entered the room together, flushed with their frolic, but looking happy and pleased to meet the clergyman. “Sin wears a different face from that,” he said, to himself, as he shook hands with them. They turned to the spinster, who had bolstered herself up against the chimney-piece, and stood eyeing them with sour disdain.

“Your neighbor, Miss Jellaby,” Mr. Fullerton, adding, in a low whisper to her, as they sought about the room for easy chairs: “It’s all a mistake, my good creature —there’s nothing wrong here. I’ll have nothing to do with the matter. Say nothing, and let this pass as a morning call.” “ ‘ Say nothing,’ indeed! Mr. Fullerton, I am ashamed of you! ” was her reply, too audibly made, however, for Mr. Graham heard it, though he was too courteous to look surprised. “ Pray take this easy chair, Miss Jellaby. Can I offer you some wine, Mr. Fullerton ? ” said Helen, who wondered inwardly at the strange behavior of her guests. “ No, my child,” said the clergyman, kindly. “ I will touch nothing during this visit. Some other time I hope to come again. I can only express my sorrow at having been persuaded against my better judgment to enter these doors on such an absurd errand—and leave you.” “ My dear sir, forgive me if I say I do not quite understand!” exclaimed the Captain, while Helen.made up her mind that both her visitors were mad. “I will tell you at another time,” said Mr. Fullerton, nervously. “ I will only say, in explanation of this intrusion, that it was caused by a most ridiculous mistake. Miss Jellaby, will you allow me to accompany you home?” Miss Jellaby folded her arms, looked at them all viciously, and thundered out — “No!” “Is she mad?” whispered Helen to the clergyman. “What does it all mean V ” Miss Jellaby heard her. “It means this, madam; this, and nothing more, that if Mr. Fullerton is to be ensnared by a pretty face, and frightened out of doing his duty, I am not! ”

“ Was there ever such an unfortunate piece of business? Miss Jellaby, I cannot allow you to commit such an act of folly, or to insult these young creatures, so I command you, as your minister, not to speak.” “ I take no orders from a man who shrinks from his duty,” said the spinster, loftily. “My dear sir,” turning to the Captain, “ it seems that I cannot spare you this infliction, so I may as well tell you what this good lady means. She lives opposite you, as you already know ” “And she has seen you time and again when you thought yourselves alone—remember that! ” chimed in the sharp voice of the spinster. “ Do be quiet, my dear Miss Jellaby. As she says, she has often seen you ” “Kissing!” exploded from the thin lips. “Miss Jellaby, either you or I must be silent. From these things she has drawn her own conclusions, and I am ashamed to say that, for a brief space, she persuaded me into believing them. I need not add that from the instant you entered the room my suspicions vanished, and I would readily stake my life this moment upon your perfect integrity.” “But, my dear sir,” said Capt. Graham, smiling, “of what does the lady suspect us?”

“Tell them, Miss Jellaby. I will not.” “ Pretty behavior, I am sure, to leave the worst part to me, Mr. Fullerton. However, no one shall say I shrink back from duty! ” “ We are waiting to know what heinous crime we have committed,” said Capt. Graham, drawing the bewildered Helen close by his side. Miss Jellaby gasped at the caress; then it seemed to give her fresh energy. “ Before my very eyes, sir! ” “ What do you mean ? ” “ I suppose you will kiss her next.” “Well—now you mention it—l think I will.” And he did! Miss Jellaby nearly fainted away with horror. “ Mr. Fullerton, how can you stand there so quietly, and watch tins shameless conduct? As for you, sir,” she added, turning to the good-humored Captain, “you need not think that every one will tolerate your audacious ” “ Take breath, my dear Miss Jellaby.” “It is infamous! ” shouted the enraged spinster. “Brother and sister, indeed! You are no more her brother than you are mine, Capt. Graham! ” “ I know it. I never said I was.” Mr. Fullerton looked rather puzzled. Miss Jellaby was triumphant. “Well—you are brazen about it, I must say! This town will soon be too hot to hold you, you may depend upon “I never knew it was a crime not to

be a woman’s brother before,” said the Captain, quietly. “However, there is a relation between us, if it will please you better.” “What isit?” “I am her cousin—the ward of her father, and I have always lived with her familv in England.” “Oh!” There was a world of meaning in that simple ejaculation. “Also, I have the honor to be—” “Well, sir?” “ Her husband 1 ” Mr. Fullerton uttered a most unclerical “hurrah! ” and shook hands with the young couple over and over again. “Her—her husband!” faltered the old maid. “I—l never thought of that! ” “Allow me to hope, madam, that you will have your wits about you before you try to create another scandal,” said the Captain, suavely. “ I have the honor to wish you a very good morning.” He held the door open as he spoke—she could but take the hint, and rushed out of the house and into her own in a state of mind verging on distraction. Staying to be laughed at and sympathized with was what she could not endure—the cottage was shut up the next morning, and she and Susan were far away. Miss Jellaby had found her match, and the village has known peace since her departure—for the first time!