Democratic Sentinel, Volume 2, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 September 1878 — Wanted to Save the Country. [ARTICLE]

Wanted to Save the Country.

A man whose every look betrayed anxious thought knocked softly at Bijah’s door. By his air One would know he was a Stranger therP. “Mr. Joy, this country is in an awful way,” he began as he took a chair. “Is—that—so?” “Yes. I can’t sleep nights for thinking of it. We must save her. We must effect a compromise between capital and labor, creditor and debtor, officeholder and elector, and thus save this glorious old nation from destraction. Tell me what to do, sir?” Bijah looked him over from head to foot, made a mental guess at his age and weight, and finally replied: “Mister man, my advice to you is to begin to lay in turnips, ’taters and beans for winter use, and to let this country strictly alone. It’s none o’ your business to save her, sir—none o’ your business what becomes of her!” “But w’on’t you advise me, sir?” “Yes, you bet I will! Go home, or somewhere, and get a clean shirt! Go and. get your hair cut and your face washed! Go and fill up your lankness with a free lunch, and you might hire a boy to hoe the mud off them boots! Save this country! Why, sir, you couldn’t save the northeast quarter of the southwest quarter of section one of a mud-hole!” “Mr. Joy, do I deserve this?” “Yes, and more, too! There are a dozen more just like you around town. They are always talking about this poor country, and wanting some one to save her, while their wives and children go hungry for bread and shiver all winter for the want of clothes. Git right out of here, sir. Go and wash up and then go to work! When this dear suffering country wants your services, I’ll drop you a postal card.” “Mr. Joy, won’t you let me save this country ?” “No, sir!” “Can’t I be a patriot?” “No, sir!” “Can’t I ?” “No, sir!” The man paused for a while, and then in a sad voice he asked: “Mr. Joy, I believe you could lend me a quarter if you tried awful* hard!” The old man grew black and blue in the face, but, suppressing his emotion, after a moment he forced a smile and replied: “Please come out into the back yard. I keep my silver buried out there for fear of thieves.” He started out, a diabolical grin on his mouth, but the man who wanted to save the country made a sudden break for the street and got away.— Detroit Free Press.

A miller in England, who had beaten his wife and threatened his children because summoned for not sending the latter to school, was last month seized by forty women, who flogged him and then dragged him to a pond, where, while drenched with water, he implored pardon for his misdeeds.