Democratic Sentinel, Volume 2, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 May 1878 — LAMB CHOPS. [ARTICLE]

LAMB CHOPS.

George TV. Feck Tells What He Knows A boat the Sheep FamMy. Fellow Spring Lambs : The subject of sheep culture is one that may well arrest the attention of the truly good. There is no branch of horticulture that is so neglected as the raising of sheep. And there is no other garden vegetable that is so early brought to maturity as the lamb. The transition from the early bunting period, when the little creatures scratch fleas off their foreheads by bunting their heads against the front part of another lamb, to the time when they are hung up by the hind leg, at the market, to be sold for garnishing with mint sauce, is indeed short, and every moment should be made use of to prepare the mind of the lamb for the great change, for death and what follows.

The sheep family is made up of four classes. The lamb is the little baby of the family, that has to be looked after by all the rest, that has to be learned to walk, to talk, to say “ma,” and to tip over the furniture in the sheep pen. The lamb has to go through all the diseases children have, only we do not notice it. At first the lamb has to cut teeth, then have the measles, and the whooping cough, the itch, and it gets in love, just like human beings. It is a sad sight to see a lamb in love, and to see the unrequited affection, to see its cheeks pale, as the object of its affection passes along unmindful of its sufferings, to see it lose its appetite, and sigh, and weep. But, in all its troubles about love affairs, the lamb never gets to drinking or playing base-ball. It takes its heart troubles to its mother, and unburdens itself to the old lady, and lays down at her feet and goes to sleep, and the old lady shuts her eyes and chews her cud, and thinks, hour after hour, how to help the lamb out of the difficulty. The mother of thp lamb is called the ewe. Ido not know why the mother of the lamb is called a ewe, but maybe ewe do. Anyway she answers to that name, and performs the part allotted to her in this life without a murmur, and she never talks back. You never see the ewe gossipping over the fence with a neighboring ewe, and talking about other ewes while hanging out clothes, or making fun of another ewe’s last fall’s hat, which she is compelled to wear all the spring, because her husband was “long ” on wheat when he should have been “ short.” You never hear of a ewe getting cross and scolding because the head of the house has to go down town to attend the Lodge of Royal Arch Masons, and she never sits up till 12 o’clock to see if she can smell beer when he comes home. When a ewe meets another ewe on the street, she never looks back to see how her polonaise sets, or to see if her cloak is a “ circular,” or a short sealskin lengthened out with mink. The ewe never gets up first in the morning and goes through pantaloons pockets and takes out ali the change, so her protector has to walk down town, not having a nickel to pay car fare. The ewe never gets mad and pulls hair, so that the one who has sworn to love, honor and protect has to wear his hair baldheaded. She never asks for a new dress the very day the rent has to be paid, -No, the ewe is a good, kind, domestic wife, an indulgent parent, and a good neighbor, who also pays back the tea and sugar she borrows.

The next branch of the sheep family is the wether. The wether is the uncle of the lamb, a bachelor uncle, and he don’t amount to any more than any old bachelor. They are useful, ornamental, .and good to carry shawls and baskets to picnics, and to go home with the sheen from festivals, and to talk nonsense, mit they never mean business. They may be attentive, and monopolize the time of young sheep just beginning to go into society, and just as you are beginning to think of orange blossoms, and wedding cake, and, a bridal trip to Wauwatosa, you are startled by the announcement that the affair is “ postponed on account of the wether. ” The bachelor sheep are useless, entirely, except for mutton, like those of the human family. As an emblem of purity, innocence and tenderness, the lamb cannot be excelled—in the spring. But in the fall, when it arrives at the age of discretion, it is tough. The sheep is one of the most constant, devoted animals. It can constantly be found on the table of boarding houses. There is sympathy between the housekeeper and the sheep which is touching. Though the boarders may abhor mutton, the friendship between the sheep and the landlady is so firm that she will not go back on her old-time friend. Scoffers will say that this is because mutton is cheaper than any other species of homed cattle, but that cannot be true. There is no other meat that will stand the hard usage that mutton will unless it be India rubber in its native state. Rubber, just as it comes from the mint, will compare favorably for toughness with boardinghouse mutton, but after the rubber is manipulated into overshoes, or belting, or car springs, it loses much of its tenacity of purpose, and mutton takes the chromo for elasticity, durability and ornament.