Democratic Sentinel, Volume 2, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 February 1878 — GONE A SNIPIN’. [ARTICLE]

GONE A SNIPIN’.

A Juke Playud. Upon a GoT»nun»at ORolal Although there is little margin fur humor in the dry details of the custom* business, nevertheless an occasional practical joke is perpetrated, and then it is all the more enjoyed because of the novelty of the thing. One has recently come t* Light which, for downright richness, may challenge the public service of this, or any. other country, for a fellow. It seems that sometime after his inauguration, Mr. Hayes appointed a Florida man, named Vance, special inspector of the Treasury Department. Whether that appointment was intended as a reward for services of a political na-' tune rendered during the days when the occupancy of the Presidential chair depended upon the electoral vote of the alligator State, or was made from a high sense of the fitness of things, and under the inspiration of civil service reform, is of little consequence in this connection.— Vance got his commieeton, and wss jerked out of the steaming everglades last fall, and sent on a tour of inspection through the frigid northern regions. He had special instructions to visit the Marquette district, on Lake Superior, and overhaul the administration of Mr. Osborn, the inspector there. Now Vance is not familiar with all the details of the customs business, and, 1 ke all new converts, is exceedingly zealous, and has a way of making himself “numerous” that is not agreeable to the old officers of the service. To quote the expression of one of them, “he is too d d unanimous.”

In due time Vance reached Marti uette, and shiveringly made himself known to Collector Osborn. That official was not long in taking his measure, and resolved to teach him a practical lesson, strictly within the limit of his official duty. According ly he told Vance that it had come to his knowledge that smuggling was being carried on to an alarming extent at Isle Royal, s mineral knob that lifts itself in the northern central portion of Lake Superior, about a hundred miles from anywhere, and intimated that he might make his everlasting reputation by proceeding thither, ferrettingthem out, and bringing the perpetrators to punishment. Vance was captivated with the idea, and readily consented to become a hero. He took the first bout for the island, and it will be gratifying to his friends to know that he landed in safety. Now it so happened that the boat on which Vance was an eager passenger was the last boat of the season to make a trip to this little chunk of land in the watery waste, and the next trip will be made about the first of next June. Vance has already been in exile over two months, and he still has four mouths of isolation and reflection before him. There are a few Cornish miners and Indians on the island and that is all, There are no newspapers, no telegraph offices, no churches, no schools, no communication with the outside world, and, worst of all, no whisky. If Vance lives through his hibernation Gs more than half a year, and returns with his original enthusiasm to the service, he will be voted a veteran.

Cincfnnati Enquirer: Dr. Morris, whose lectures on the holy land are delighting the Ohio Masons, lets off a good thing now and then. The old gentleman is slightly paralyzed in his shoulder, and wearing an old style overcoat of the “brass bound pattern,” it ofteu takes two men and a bov to help him get it on. Struggling with it one day in a smoking car, he stepped up to a grave gentleman who was reading the Enquirer behind a big square and compass, and thus accosted him: R. M.—“ Are you a Freemason, sir!“ Grave gentleman (with surprise) “I am,” B. M.—“A Master Mason?" G. G.—“ Even s»o.“ R. M.—“Do you feel it your duty to help a distressed Brother?” G. G. (hesitatingly)—“W-h-y, y-e-s, under certain circumstances.” R. M.—“ Well, then, will you help me on with my overcoat?” G. G. (with lightning speed—“ Certainly, with the greatest pleasure." The roar that followed among the passengers who had been listening to this colloquy fairly lifted the roof. According to the report of Supeii i tendent Smart there are 352,889 white male school children in Indiana; 330,630 white females; 5,596 colored males; 5,591 colored females. The total enumeration is 694,706; increase over last year, 15,476. The total number of white males enrolled Ju the schools is 261,550; white females, 230,419; total, 491,975. Number of colored males enrolled. 3,375; number of colored females enrolled 3,376. The total increase of ‘he common school fund during the year was $42,861.98; increase of Congressional township fund, $10,835.93. The Indianapolis Sentinel has taken the pains to prepare a table which shows how overwhelming the majority Is in favorof the Bland silver bill. The Sentinel analyzes the vote in the houses on the bill with the following result: Total vote tor the bill, 153; population represented, 28,743,882; revenue paid, $78,506,899. Total vote against the bill, 35; population represented, 8,916,966; revenue paid, $23, 426,741. It will be seen that the people are In favor of the silver bill, about three to one. The eastern Shyloeks may as well stand from under. The people of the,country intend to have their own way for a time.—Jackson County Bee. Montgomery AJveJtiser; The Radical party had an overwhelming ma jority in both branches of Congress in 1873, when the demonetizing swindle was perpetrated. The President of the United States did their bidding in everything, and signed the bill which at once made a difference in the debt of the country, and against the people at that, of $500,000. Now at last the voice of the robbed and outraged people is heard. Fowler Herald: Mrs. T.J.Brown, of Fowler, is the possessor of some valuable relics of the last century. She has a set of silver tea spoons made in 1738—140 years ago, and a linen pillow case 125 years old. Also, one pair linen pillow cases and one linen towel 70 years old; and carving knife and fork 75 years old. The above articles were all made In Massachusetts. Pittsburgh Commercial-Gazette: These frantic appeals to the President, made in tho interest of the money power of the great cities, can but unite and consolidate the people in demanding of their representatives the restoration of silver as one of the standards by which values are to be measured. Nearly $200,000,000 were lost last year in business failures.