Democratic Sentinel, Volume 1, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 August 1877 — How to Kill a Town. [ARTICLE]

How to Kill a Town.

If you wish, to kill a town,-don’t put up more houses than you are obliged to occupy yourself. If you should have an empty building, and any one wishes to rent it, ask about three times its value. Go abroad for your wares rather than pu. chase them of your own merchants. Take several New York and Chicago papers, but don’t take hour home papAjr, if you do, always manage to be abbut three years behind with your subscription, and when you go to settle with the publisher swear that you paid him for t ie first year in advance but neglected to bring the receipt with you.— Look on every new cornel with a scowl of suspicion particularly if he does not attend your church, or is not of your political faiih. A prompt and close cbservance of these ruleswill ruin any town in two years.—Exchange. Talmage says “a tear is agony in solution.” The pitcher of a base-ball club is the power behind the thrown. Bob Toombs, of Georgia, says that the capitalist who does not respect labor is a fraud, and the laborer who does not respect capital is a fool. A good way to eat green corn is to grate it from the cob. mix with light natter, fry into crisp pancakes and serve with sweet butter for breakfast. The self-raking reaper gathered in twentyithree rattle-snakes, nineteen garter-snakes and one blue racer in cutting a small field of oats in NewEarlisle.

Ben Wade thinks the Ohio republican platform about as sensible as an attempt to arrest the ravages of cancer by the application of a bread-and-uiilk poultice. A Borland (Oregon) Chinaman became the father of an American born son*, and as he danced around, swinging his pigtail and knocking over the opium jars he exclaimedMe Melican man, ail samec! Me heap Washington! Me sewing machine agent! Go ’way! Whoopee!” “What do you know about the prisoner?” arked the judge. “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout him, jedge, only he’s bigoted.” “Bigoted?” said bis honor. ‘‘Yes, s*ah.“ “What do you mean by ‘’bigoted’?” “Well, jedge,” explained the witness, “be knows too much fob one niggah, an’ not ’null foh two.” Pierrepont- “Haw, Adam,l see that the new webellion is quite cwushed—the wiots, you know,” Badeau—“Yes, so I see, myself ” Pierrepont—“Well, now, what pwuzzles me is how the ddeuce they did it without Gwant. Do you know, Adam, I think Gwantmust have twelegwaphed them what to do?”—Courier-Journal.