Democratic Sentinel, Volume 1, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 August 1877 — The Retreat of the Philadelphians from Pittsburgh. [ARTICLE]

The Retreat of the Philadelphians from Pittsburgh.

The officer who returned from “the front,” and when asked how he got back, replied, “ in an envelope,” gives the following description of the return of such of the Philadelphia “ soger boys ” as have been heard from. Though the description may be obnoxious to the charge of being somewhat hyperbolical, yet it must be confessed that it has enough verisimilitude about it to be recognized as not a pure fabrication: “ An effort was made by one or two inventive individuals to climb into their muskets, but, as this was found to be impracticable, not for the reason that the muskets were too narrow, but that the men were too long, the ruse was abandoned. One gentleman tried the extraordinary experiment of impelling himself homeward by swallowing his musket and touching it off within himself, but discovered his mistake in time to avert serious consequences. In the excitement of the moment a terrified Brigadier General offered to ‘ ship ’ on a passenger train as a man before the ‘mast,’ and, being refused, wanted to know whether he could go through as an invoice to the stuffed department of the Permanent Exposition. In despair, several veterans pinned postal cards to their shirts and threw themselves by the track, determined to trust to luck and some conscientious mail agent to pass them through. To add to the terror of these unfortunate men, they couldn’t get anything to eat that was palatable; and, as the crows knew this, they hovered above the emaciated soldiers and ‘ cawed ’ in joyous anticipation of a big Quaker City lunch. Happily for aching breasts at home, ‘ the boys ’ began straggling into the city yesterday evening. One gallant Major was attired in military boots, a brakeman’s pantaloons, no coat worth mentioning, and a telegraph operator’s cap. His friends met him at the depot and greeted him with cheers. Though travel-stained and weary, he told the story of his heroic charge upon the enemy with the modesty becoming in so great a man. He reviewed his course briefly, merely touching here and there upon the number of rioters he had strangled and otherwise put to death, and remarked that if somebody didn’t hurry back to Blairsville with some sandwiches and beer for the First Division somebody would starve to death. It was his impression, also, that the strike was over, so far as the West was concerned, at least, as the great majority of the strikers had chased him all the way home.”— Philadelphia Times.