Democratic Sentinel, Volume 1, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 July 1877 — A DOOR SCRAPER. [ARTICLE]

A DOOR SCRAPER.

(Max Adler)

We have just perfected an invention which will probably relieve us in j the future from the persecution of life Insurance agents and book canvassers. It is in the nataro of a patent combination reflex-action doorscraper. Wo fasten it down to the lowest step in front of our house, and wait until the book-canvasser comes along, which one is tolerably certain to do within fifteen or twenty minutes. The canvasser stops to scrape liis boots, while he thinks up some new ami vigorous exaggeration with which to impose on us. As his foot touches the iron, two clamps fly over his instep aud hold him fast, a steel claw suddenly shoots up his leg aud grabs his trousers; a trap flys open in the pavement, and the victim is hauled into a coal cellar, there we have an infuriated Irishman engaged to mellow him and flatten him out with a scoop-shovel. We allow the Irishman a royaity on the remains, aud he seems to be animated by au earnest desire which promises rich results. If the machine works well we shall either buy a graveyard or found a medical college. In the mean time persons in want of bodies for dissection or other purposes will please apply.