Daily Greencastle Banner and Times, Greencastle, Putnam County, 24 May 1897 — Page 3

THE DAILY BANNED TIMES, GREENCASTLE, INDIANA.

TALJIAGE’S SERMON.

“HEALTH OF THE BODY” SUNDAY'S SUBJECT.

From the Text: "TUI

Through Ills l iver Proverbs Vll-«3 —The Gospel of Purity In Hody and

In S<»ul.

existing around him. What was pleasant to the former was intolerable to | the latter. What made all this differ-

LAST en<,e ’ asl<3 author. ‘One condi-

tion only: the French are victorious, the Austrians have been defeated.' ” So, my dear brother, the road you are traveling is the same you have

Dart Strike

ties or sixties or seventies wanting to be useful, but they so served the world and Satan in the earlier part of their life that they have no physical energy left for the service of God. They sacrificed nerves, muscles, lungs, heart and liver on the wrong altar. They fought on the wrong side, and now,

been traveling a long while, but the when their sword is all hacked up and difference in your physical conditions their ammunition all gone, they enlist makes it look different, and therefore ' for Emmanuel. When the high-met-

OL/OMON'S anatomical and physiological discoveries were so very great that he was nearly three thousand years ahead of the scientists of his day. He, more than one thousand years before Christ, seemed to know ab ut the circulation of the blood, which Harvey dlscnvered sixteen hundred and nineteen years after Christ, for when Solomon, In Ecclesiastes, describing the human body, speaks of the pitcher at the fountain, he evidently means the three canals leading from the heart that receive the blood like pitchers. When he speaks in Ecclesiastes of the silver cord of life, he evidently means the spinal marrow, about which, in our day. Doctors Mayo and Carpenter and Dalton and Flint and Drown-Sequard have experimented. And Solomon recorded in the Bible, thousands of years before scientists discovered It, that in his time the spinal cord relaxed in old age, producing the tremors of hand and head: “Or the silver cord he loosed. In the text he reveals the fact that he had studied that largest gland of the human system, the liver, not by the electric light of the modern dissecting room, but by the dim li"ht of a comparatively dark age, and yet had seen its important functions in the Godbuilt castle of the human body, its selecting and secreting power, its curious cells, its elongated branching tubes, a Divine workmanship in centra! and right and left lobe, and the hepatic artery through which flow the Crimson tides. Oh. this vital organ is like the eye of God in that it never

sleeps.

I Solomon knew of it, and had noticed either in vivisection or nost-mortem what awful attacks sin and dissipation make upon it, until the flat of Almighty God bids the body and soul separate, one it commends to the grave, and the other It sends to Judgment. A javelin of retribution not glancing off or making a slight wound, but piercing it from side to side “till a dart strike through his liver.” Galen and Hippocrates ascribe to the liver the most of the world’s moral depression, and the word melancholy means black bile. I preach to you the Gospel of Health In taking a diagnosis of diseases of the soul you must also take a diagnosis of diseases of the body. As If to recognize this, one whole book of the New Testament was written by a physician Luke was a medical doctor, and he discourses much of the physical conditions. and he tells of the good Samaritan’s medication of the wounds by pouring in oil and wine, and recognizes hunger as a hindrance to hearing the Gospel, so that the five thousand were fed; he also records the sparse diet of the prodigal away from home, and the extinguished eyesight of the beggar by the wayside, and lets us know of the hemorrhage of the wounds of the dying Christ and the miraculous post-mortem resuscitation Any estimate of the spiritual condition that does not include also the physical condition is incomplete. When the doorkeeper of congress fell dead from excessive joy because Burgoyne had surrendered at Saratoga, and Philip the Fifth of Spain dropped dead at the news of his country’s de feat in battle, and Cardinal Wolsey faded away as the result of Henry the Eighth’s anathema, it was demonstrat ed that the body and soul are Siamese twins, and when you thrill the one with joy or sorrow you thrill the oth er. We may as well recognize the tremendous fact that there are two mighty fortresses In the human body the heart and the liver; the heart the fortress of the graces, the liver the fortress of the furies. You may have the head filled with all intellectualttlee, and the ear with all musical ap preciatlon, and the mouth with all eloquence, and the hand with all Indus tries, and the heart with all generosities, and yet ’’a dart strike through the

liver."

My friend. Rev. Dr. Joseph F. Jonas, of Philadelphia, a translated spirit now. wrote a book entitled, “Man, Mor al and Physical,” in which he shows how different the same things may appear to different people. He says “After the great battle on the Mincio in 1859, between the French and the Sardinians on the one side and the Austrians on the other, so disastrous to the latter, the defeated army retreated followed by the victors. A description of the march of each army is given by two correspondents of the London Times, one of whom traveled with the auccessful host, the other with the de feated. The difference in views and statements of the same place, scenes and events, is remarkable. The former are said to be marching through a beautiful and luxuriant country during the day, and at night encamping whore they are supplied with an abundance of the best provisions, and all sorts of rural dainties. There is noth Ing of war about the proceeding except Its stimulus and excitement. On the side of the poor Austrians it is just the reverse. In his letter of the same date, describing the same places and a march over the same road, the writer can scarcely find words to set forth 1 the suffering, impatience and disgust

the two reports you have given of yourself are as widely different as the reports in the London Times from the two correspondents. Edward Payson, sometimes so far uo on the Mount that it seemed as if the centripetal force of earth could no longer hold him, sometimes through a physical disorder was so far down that it seemed as if the nether world would clutch him. Poor William Cowper was a most excellent Christian, and will be loved in the Christian church as long as it sings his hymns beginning ‘‘There is

a fountain filled with blood,” ‘‘Oh, for a closer walk with God,” “What various hindrances we meet,” and God moves in a mysterious way.” Yet was he so overcome of melancholy, or black bile, that it was only through the mistake of the cab driver who took him to a wrong place, instead of the river bank, that he did

not commit suicide.

Spiritual condition so mightily affected by the physical state, what a great opportunity this gives to the Christian physician, for he can feel at the same time both the pulse of the body and the pulse of the soul, and he can administer to both at once, and If medicine is needed he can give that, and if spiritual counsel is needed he can give that—an earthly and a Divine prescription at the same time— and call on not only the apothecary of earth, but the pharmacy of heaven! Ah, that is the kind of doctor I want at my bedside, one that cannot only count out the right number of drops, but who can also pray. That is the kind of doctor I have had in my house when sickness or death came. I do not want any of your profligate or atheistic doctors around my loved ones when the balances of life are trembling. A doctor who has gone through the medical college, and in dissecting room has traversed the wonders of the human mechanism, and found no God in any of the labyrinths, is a fool, and cannot doctor me or mine. But, oh, the Christian doctors! What a comfort they have been in many of our households! And they ought to have a warm place in our prayers as well as

praise on our tongues.

My object at this point is not only to emoliate the criticisms of those in good health against those in poor health, but to show Christian people who are atrabilious what is the matter with them. Do not charge against the heart the crimes of another portion of your organism. Do not conclude that because the path to heaven is not arbored with as line a foliage, or the banks beautifully snowed with exquisite chrysanthemums as once, that therefore you are on the wrong road. The road will bring you out at the same gate whether you walk with the stride of an athlete or come up on crutches. Thousands of Christians, morbid about their experiences, and morbid about their business, and morbid about the present, and morbid about the future, need the sermon I am now

preaching. * * *

Some years ago a scientific lecturer went through the country exhibiting on great canvas different parts of tho human body when healthy, and the same parts when diseased. And what the world wants now is some eloquent scientist to go through the country showing to our young people on blazing canvas the drunkard's liver, tho idler's iver, the libertine’s liver, the gamble s liver. Perhaps tho spectacle i) ht stop some young man be fore he comes to the catastrophe, and the dart strike through his liver. My hearer, this is the first sermon you have heard on the Gospel of Health, and it may be the last you will ever hear on that subject, and I charge you, in the name of God, and Christ, and usefulness, and eternal destiny, take better care of your health. When some of you die, if your friends put on your tombstone a truthful epitaph, it will read: “Here lies the victim of late suppers;’’ or it will be: ’’Behold what lobster salad at midnight will do for a man;” or it will be; “Ten cigars a day closed my earthly existence;” or it will be: "Thought I could do at seventy what I did at twenty, and I am here;” or it will be: “Here is the consequence of sitting a half day with wet feet;” or it will be; "This is where I have stacked my harvest of wild oats;” or, instead of words, the stone-cutter will chisel for an epitaph on the tombstone two figures— namely, a dart and a liver. There is a kind of sickness that is beautiful when it comes from overwork for God, or one’s country, or one’s own family. I have seen wounds that were glorious. I have seen an empty sleeve that was more beautiful than the most muscular forearm. 1 have seen a green shade over the eye, shot out in battle, that was more beautiful than any two eyes that had passed without injury. I have seen an old missionary worn rut with the malaria of African jungles, who looked to me moro radiant than a rubicund gymnast. I have seen a mother after six weeks’ watching over a family of children down with scarlet fever, with a glory around her pale and wan face that surpassed the angelic. It all depends on how you got your sickness and in what battle your wounds. If we must get sick and worn out. let it be in God's service and in the effort to make the world good. Not in the service of sin. No! No! One of the most pathetic scenes that I ever witness, and I often see it, is that of men or women converted in the fif-

tled cavalry horse, which that man spurred into many a cavalry charge with champing bit and flaming eye and neck clothed with thunder, is worn out and spavined and ring-boned and spring-halt, he rides up to the great Captain of our Salvation on the white horse and offers his services. With such persons might have been, through the good habits of a lifetime, crashing their battle-ax through the helmetad Iniquities, they are spending their days and nights in discussing the best way of curing their indigestion, and quieting their Jangled nerves, and rousing their laggard appetite, and trying to extract the dart from their outraged liver. Better converted late than never! Oh, yes; for they will get to heaven. But they will go afoot when they might have wheeled up the steed hills of the sky In Elijah's chariot. There Is an old hymn that we used to sing In the country meeting house when I was a boy, and I remember how the old folks’ voices trembled with emotion while they sang it. I have forgotten all but two lines, but those lines are the peroration of my

sermon:

’Twill save us from a thousand snares To mind religion young.

SOME REMARKABLE RETS. C. F. Holder in New Y’ork Lrdoer. C

"Of all the pets I have had,” said a naturalist and traveler, “I believe my families of toads and frogs have been the most singular. In every country In which I have traveled I have made friends with these little creatures that are generally despised. I was first attracted to them by the cleverness of one that lived In my garden in New York. Its home was In a hole, and, like many toads, it did not like heavy rains or floods. How it escaped drowning during storms was a mystery, as the hole would soon fill up; yet when

neath the eye. Sometimes a vivid green frog would leap upon my sleeve as I was dealing out morsels to them, and almost immediately the change would be apparent. The light tints would deepen to a seeming dark red, then a brown, gray and finally the little creature that a short time before had been a veritable emerald had lost its color, and was well disguised. “If my pets, gathered in the basin of the Amazon and the adjacent regions, were remarkable in appearance, what shall be said of their habits? On tho

the sun came out my friend would ap- ! island of Guadaloupe there was a litpear as dry as the proverbial chip. An tie tree toad in which there was no examination of the burrow showed a tadpole stage, for the very good reason little room that extended upward, | that there were no pools and swamps, forming a narrow shelf on which the ! I found the eggs beneath leaves, and

Don't Eat L'iiIoah You Are Hungry. There is a good old maxim which runs as follows: “In time of peace prepare for war,” and this is as true in connection with the question of diet in health as in other things. Too many people assume that because they enjoy fairly good health, no improvement need be effected in their diet, but that this position is eminently untenable none who carefully consider the subject will deny. Those whose practice brings them into contact with the wealthier classes have frequently an opportunity of estimating the bad effects of improper diet. As regards the poor, they are unable to procure meat on account of their poverty, and, as a result, their diet is composed largely of carbohydrates. In the case of general sickness, or even without unfavorable climatic conditions, both classes seem to be unable to resist attacks of disease. It is for the most part the apparently healthy people who are so quickly stricken down by disease, while the chronic invalid may pass through unscathed, and yet no one seem to understand that conditions were present which predisposed the healthy man or woman to disease, and that these preexisting conditions were largely due to want of attention to diet. It would be well for those who feel so sure that they are in perfect health to consult a doctor for instructions how to avoid disease. One very common mistake is to eat when not hungry, simply because it is "meal time,” and act not one whit less stupid than that of replenishing one's fire because one hears one’s neighbors coal-scuttle rattling, regardless of the fact that there is plenty of coal already on, and that any addition thereto would be mischievous.

toad sat during the rain. The water flowed by, filled the tunnel, then flowed out of the door again before it could reach the toad—an arrangement at

once ingenious and simple.

“This toad, I am confident, had a decided sense of humor. I often sat near it, pretending not to notice it, and would see the little creature going through various curious pranks. One was to play with sticks, holding a long twig in its mouth. Once I thought It tried to turn a somersault—a very common thing for frogs to accomplish. "South America is a wonderful land for strange forms of animal life,” continued the naturalist, "and my toads there, in their ways and habits, often almost taxed belief. One, well known as the paradoxical frog, was perhaps the most interesting. I was collecting in a little village on a branch of the Amazon, and it soon becoming known that I wanted frogs, they began to pour in upon me in all shapes and sizes and forms of developments from the

the young, when they appeared, were miniature toads. In Martinique I saw a mother toad which carried its young tadpoles about ’pick-a-pack,’ the little creatures clinging to her in some mysterious way. In the Andes a toad has a safer arrangement—a perfect sack in its back in which the eggs are carried, after the fashion of the kangaroo. "The voices alone of frogs were an interesting study. Some of the larger forms utter sounds which can be heard a mile, and often the smallest make the loudest noises. Once, when in India, my guide informed me that a large frog, known as the leopard from its wonderful jumping powers, preyed upon birds. I had a collection of them, and was entertained by their marvelous leaps of ten or fifteen feet, and in a deserted bungalow soon had a very unhappy family, I fear, of frogs, toads and birds. 1 watched faithfully for days, and was finally repaid by seeing one of my frogs seize a small bird. The batrachian sprang upon it like a tiger,

,.1 *#>!*• d*;:,'t--’

■

f

AN INDIAN FAMINE INCIDENT. F.xpliiinliig Why 4,000 People Sat lu the

Old Tank*.

Another amusing scene I witnessed last week, says a writer in the Westminster Gazette. We ran out by train to a small railway station in the Allahabad district, where relief workers were coming on to the works in startlingly large numbers. The first thing we saw after leaving the railway station was a crowd of about 1,000 country folk sitting down in the dry bed of a tank. The local authorities explained that the people had come there a couple of days before and asked to be put on the relA'f works in progress near there; but as these particular works were full they were bidden to move fifteen or sixteen miles farther on to another work. This they had refused to do, and they had remained for two days where we found them. On questioning them we found that they were decent folk with some small stores of grain in their bundles, and that their objection to "moving on” was that it would take them to a stony, arid plateau which was unfamiliar to and therefore feared by them. This seemed intelligible, but not quite satisfactory. We then drove on to see the relief work to which they had been refused admission. It consist*! of remaking an old road and deepening an old tank. On the road work was in full swing. The lieutenant governor asked the public works officials what was going on in the tanks, as owing to the high bank we could not see tho workers within tho tank from where wo stood. "Oh!” said the ready local official, “your honor had better see the road work; the tank is not worth Inspecting, as work has only lately been started there.” The lieutenantgovernor agreeing. went on. My curiosity led me to walk across the fields and sen how the tank work was going on. What I saw was about 2,000 people comfortably grouped into “gangs” in the dry bed of the tank, without a single tool, and, needless to say, doing no work. Tho public works hail run short of spades, owing to the rush, and had "ganged” and paid this happy band for the last four days without exacting any labor task. The hand itself was quite content. It was formed Into work gangs ever morning, and sat in gang formation throughout the day in the warm bed of the tank and was duly paid in tho evening and went off to bed. Then the mystery of my discontented friends in the first tank by the railway station revealed itself to me. They, too, had wanted to join the spadeless people in the other tank, and to receive wages for doing nothing. Instead of which they had been bidden to go up into the desert a day's journey and there earn bread by the sweat of their brow. They thought this unjust, and could not make up their minds to leave the neighborhood of a place where people got wages for sitting still.

THEATRICAL TOPICS.

— i'.-

SAYINGS AND DOINGS OF THE

PLAYERFOLK.

Fanny Davenport nan Come Ont aa a Defender of the French Stage—Doea Not JuHtlfy It. Disregard for Decency —lutereatlng New. and Gossip.

ANNY Davenport vigorously defends the French stage, but it is only from the art point of view. She does not undertake to Justify Its frequent defiance of what we regard as decency. “The most enlightened stage today is

that of France,” asserts the American tragedienne, "because in that country dramatists have been in most Instances allowed to write without other than political restrictions. In all that pertains to social life, in the uses and abuses of all social pleasures, in a treatment of dramatic evils and public social vices, the French dramatists have not found their pens sheathed either by those in open authority or by the more influential but less straightforward Mrs. Grundy. This being true it appears to me the more strange that America, which is usually keen to keep pace with the swiftest in the race for achievement, should, even in a desultory fashion, give ear to silly tirades against the French drama. Thanks to the energetic literary prudes, who as a rule monopolize public utterance, anything from tho French is now immediately stamped as being horribly immoraj, and a very large unthinking class accept this stigma as just. Moreover the cry is sent up that the public taste in this country is rapidly declining, and the cliam is made that sooner or later the American public will be as loose in its morals as the whole French people aro supposed to be by the circulation of this foolish talk. And all this Is charged against the stage because Frenchmen write good plays and Americans produce them. What a sermon on frivolity Is ‘Frou-Frou,’ what warning against a moral misstep is ‘Odette,’ what an eloquent exhortation to the young Is ‘Camille!’”

S- 'i.

■ -V £^3, ■-* / -• . -•'Tv i 1 --.

One Cniinc of Freak Hills. Senator Forney, of the Kansas stati senate, has a young daughter who telU why her father introduced so many freak bills in the senate. "Whenevei he ran up against anything he didn’t like,” she says, “he would come home and write a bill again it. There is one of his railroad bills, for Instance. We drove to town to church one night, and there was a freight train on the crossing, and it kept us there for twenty minutes. It annoyed pa dreadfully, and he went home and wrote that bill to prohibit trains from obstructing crossings more than five minutes. Then one night somebody stole all our chickens The next day pa wrote his chicken bill But you will notice that the bill doesn’t protect ducks. Pa don’t like ducks. And he said if anybody wanted to steal them it was all right—the ducks was punishment enough. Whenever pa sat down to write a bill wo always knew that something hail happened to him.”

Orlcln of 1 ho Won? Tariff. Every day when we open tne newspapers and read the political discussions in Its columns, we are sure to come across something about the tariff, says “Harper’s Hound Table.” Every one knows the meaning of the word tariff; but it is not generally known where it originated. It is of Moorish origin, and descended to us from the time when the Moors occupied a goodly part of Spain. In those days they built a fort to guard the strait of Gibraltar, and they called it Tarlfa. It was the custom of these people to levy duties according to a fixed scale, which they adopted and changed from time to time even as much as we do our own tariff laws, on the merchandise of all vessels passing in and out of the Mediterranean. They claimed the right by virtue of strength, and for years netted a rich income.

•favenllo Ilor*cthlevo* Murrted. Ervin Shaw and Gertie Fisher, each sentenced to one year In the penitentiary for joint horse theft, were wedded in the jail parlors at Wilmington, Ohio. Gertie's mother, of Dayton, gave her cqnsent. Gertie is a beautiful little girl and her husband a handsome beardless boy. Very Strnnf;e. Mrs. Gray—Isn't it lovely! How much did you pay for it? Mrs. Green —Two and a half a yard. MrA Gray— What an odd price! You are sure it w&sa't $2.48 or $2.51?—Boston Transcript.

i . '-r J>. * -

' - -

THE BATRACHIAN SPRANG UPON IT LIKE A TIGER.

tadpoles to big bullfrogs, whose shrill notes kept me awake at night. Among them was a small frog that the native boy who brought it explained to me in pantomime was very big, stretching his arms wide apart, then became very small. At the time I did not understand this, but kept watch upon the four or five specimens. Two were frogs about two Inches In length when I stretched them out, and they were very lively; three others were tadpoles at least four times as bulky, with enormous tails, legs twice the size of those of the little frog, and in length four and even more Inches. Yet the native who brought them told me that they were old and young frogs. I accepted this as a frog story, but put my frog with the others, and kept the big tadpoles in a moist place. They were voracious little creatures. I fed them with raw meat from my hands every day, and soon was on the best of terms with them. Tadpoles usually grow rapidly, and I watched my pets carefully, but gradually it occurred to me that they were growing smaller. I believed such a thing was impossible, but one day I took one of the tadpoles and measured It, and found that it had lost an inch. You may be sure I watched the pets closely after this, and was rephid by seeing them daily grow smaller and smaller. In growing old they diminished in size—a paradoxical statement indeed. From the egg they increased until they attained a length of four inches, then decreasing until they became delicate little frogs, weighing about one-fourth what they did in their youthful stage, and were but half as long. "I had in my tent-room the trunk of an old tree covered with vines, in turn covered with a mosquito netting, forming a little room, and here I collected a motley array of frogs and toads. The tree toads were the most marvelous In their imitation of green leaves and the trunk In color, and could with difficulty b« seen, although directly be-

am! the tragedy was over in a moment. “It occurred to tne that the frog might have thought It an insect—one of the big creatures, quite as large as some birds that were found in the forests, but I was assured that the huge frogs preyed upon birds whenever they CJUld find them.

“By far the most remarkable and interesting pet was one I obtained in the Malay country. I had two natives to accompany me on my dally collecting trips, and one day one of them came to me holding something in his hand which proved to be a most attractive little frog. As I looked he stepped back and tossed the little creature twenty-five feet Into the air, when, to my astonishment, Instead of dropping like a stone, it darted away at an angle. One of the men chased and caught it just as it was about to strike a tree, and for months it was one of my most treasured pets. Its peculiarity lay in the possession of singular webs to its feet, which, when spread out during a leap, enabled it to soar like a flying squirrel to a limited extent. Several others were caught, and soon be came quite tame, taking extraordinary leaps about the room, alighting with ease whenever they wished. When leaping they presented the appearance of some singular insect darting through the air. They were clever mimics, re setnbling the objects upon which they habitually rested, and changing in tint to a remarkable degree, but they resented handling, and only submitted when they could not escape. They fed upon insects of various kinds, taking them from my hand, often leaping about the room in search of game. As pets ’heir Interest was centered principally in their habits and life, and to watch them was a never-ceasing amusement. But I failed to discover I any traits of affection or special intelligence, which some toads display to 1

certain degree.”

'InpnncKA Self-Sacrifice. On board the Matsushima one man, who had been shot in the abdomen and whose intestines were protruding from the gaping wounds, refused to be carried to the surgeon’s ward, because, he said, lie did not want to take any of the fighters from their work in order to carry him below. Another, after having had his body burnt out of all recognition in attempting to extinguish a fire, stood by helping all he could till tho flames were put out, when he died. A third, mortally wounded, man, whose every gasp brought forth a gush of blood, would not close his eyes until he had told a comrade where the key of an important locker was and what the Joeker contained. A chief gunner, whose under jaw had been shot away and who could, of course, not utter a word, signed to a suhordinante with a nod to take his place and fell dead after he had placed the handle of the gun lever in his subordinate's hand.—

Heroic Japan.

Had to Load the Gorman.

Otis Smith of Atlanta, Ga., who was arrested the other day for embezzlement, declares that he rommltted the crime through his desire to shine in society, ”1 have been asked,” he says, ‘why I did not go along and do the best I could on my legitimate income, which was about $1,200 a year. But It takes money to hold a place In society In Atlanta. If you do not put up the stuff you are not appreciated. So long as you pay for the fun you are a kingbee, but the moment you do not get in the push with the cash you are nobody. I was In the push and I had to get money to hold my own. It took money to pay for theater parties, germans, suppers, flowers and other presents, and I was like the fellow who had hold of a galvanic battery—I could not let go. After I once started I had to keep It up or I was lost.”—New York

Tribune.

Said by (TrfTcrson. Joseph Jefferson recently said to ona of his audiences: “An anecdote that might interest you is of a picture in an English museum, painted by Sir Joshua Reynolds, in which an angel ia seen to be endeavoring to draw Davy Garrick toward its own realm, represented by serious matters of life, and then another figure, representing comedy, attempting to draw him in its direction. Reynolds never finished it; that is to say, in completing it he conveyed tho idea that Garrick was still undecided. But he himself (Reynolds) told Garrick that he supposed he wouliF select tragedy. Garrick said he didn’t know about tragedy, but that comedy itself was ‘a serious business.’ I have found, myself, that there is no satire in this.”

Lost an 1 Found.

Some gentlemen of a bible association, calling upon an old woman to see If she read her bible, were severely reproved with the spiritual reply: “Do you think, gentlemen, that I am a heathen that you should ask me such a question?” Then, addressing a little girl, she said: “Run and fetch the bible out of my drawer that I may show It to the gentlemen.” The gentlemen declined giving her the trouble, but she insisted on giving them ocular demonstration. Accordingly the bible was brought, nicely covered, and on opening it the old Aberdeen lady exclaimed: ’’Well, how glad I am you have come. Here are my spectacles that I have been looking for these three years, and didn't know where to find them.” Costly Meul of a Fla;. A peasant living near Milan recently bought a pig, which, when killed, was found to have swallowed a metal matchbox containing two notes of the

value of $250.

Fortenque In Vandrvlllr. George H. Fortescue of "Evangeline” fame is having a vaudeville sketch

written around him. Although

wiV/r FORTESQUE’S NEW VENTURE, sketch is to last but twenty minutes, in order to accommodate his personality, it will have to be over six yards in circumference. It Is to be called "The Girl From Hoboken,” and Walter Howe, a young Australian actor, is to play the role of the villain from New York.

Mrs. Campbell Says So. Mrs. Patrick Campbell has been in-terviewed-—this time for the English Illustrated Magazine. Bhe has been talking, of course, about the characters she has impersonated, and tells us that he favorites are Juliet, Rosalind and Lady Teazle. For the rest: "Do you know how I revel In comedy? You would not have thought it? No, don’t say you are like some of the critics, who will have It I can only do Mrs. Tanqueray. That was a lovely part, I own; so too, was MY9: Ebbsmith. But believe me—no, don’t—wait and see! Only, when you think of me, don't let it be as the heroine of a melodrama! You had better believe the critics than that!”

Song nmt Dance Men Are No More. The song and dance man and the souhrette who calles herself a sketch artiet have almost disappeared, wtille the legitimate actor.who knows hie Shakespeare and can give you a dozen different readings of the famous Hamlet soliloquy, are ruffling it on the boards that formerly echoed to the seductive shufflings of the sand jig and the boisterous thumpings of the knockabout comedians.