Decatur Eagle, Volume 11, Number 45, Decatur, Adams County, 14 February 1868 — Page 4

Me f Mt’s JOHN ALCOHOL. John Alcohol, my Joe, John, When first we were acquaint, I had money in my pocket; John, But now, you know, I haln't! I’v. spent it all in treating you, Bocause I loved you so, But mark how you have treated me, John Alcohol, my Joe! John Alcohol, my Joe, John, We’ve been too long together, You must now take one road, John, And I will take another, For we must tumble down, John, If hand in hand we go, And I will have to foot your bills, John Alcohol, my Joe. Wit, Wfedm, -Broken spells—the spell of a love-letter is broken when its orthography is maimed. -Onthe approach of Holy Week, a fashionable lady said to her friend, “we must mortify ourselves a little." “Well,” replied the other, “let us make our servants fast." -“Ah, Jemmy,” said a sympathizing friend to a man who was just too late for the train, “you did not run fast enough.” “Yes I did,” said Jemmy; “but I didn’t start soon enough. -An old lady was telling her grandchildren about some trouble in Scotland, in the course of which the chief of her clan was beheaded. “It was nae great thing of a head, to be sure,” said the good lady, “but it was a sad loss to him.” -A conductor of a newspaper, eulogizing a contemporary, says; he was formerly a member of Congress, but rose till he obtained a respectable position as an editor; a noble example of perseverance under depressing circumstances.” -.Acountry.gen tieman walking in his garden, saw his gardener asleep in an arbor: “What!” says the master, “asleep, you idle dog; you are not worthy that the sun should |hine on you.” “I am truly sensible of my unworthiness,” answered the man, “and, therefore laid myself down in the shade.”

-When “Orator” Hunt (who was a blacking manufacturer) was in Parliament, the late Sir Robert Peel so far forgot himself as to taunt him with this fact, whereupon Hunt sarcastically replied, “the truth is the honorable member is the first gentleman in his family, and I am the first tradesman in mine.” -At a hotel dinner a gentleman observed a person opposite use a toothpick which had just done the same service to his neighbor.— Wishing to apprise him of his mistake, he said, “I beg your pardon, air, but you are using Mr. ’s toothpick.” “I know I am. Did you think that I am not going to return it ?”

-An o'.d bachelor, who had be- 1 come melancholy and ..poetical, < wrote verses for the village paper 1 in which he expressed the hope < that the time would soon come i when he should ] ——“rest calmly within a shroud, With a weeping willow by my side;" . but to his inexpressible horror it J ... 1 came out in print, When I shall rest calmly withip a shawl With a weeping widow by my side." -A gentleman, one evening, was seated near a lovely woman, when the company around were proposing conundrums to each other.— Turning to his companions he said: “Why is a lady unlike a mirror ?” She gave it up. “Because,” said the rude fellow, “the mirror reflects without speaking; a lady speaks without reflecting.” “Very good,” said she. “Now answer me. Why is a man unlike a mirror ?” “I cannot tell you.” “Because the mirror is polished and the man is not.” —lt was customary m some parish churches for the men to be placed on the one side, and the women on the other. A clergyman, in the midst of his sermon found himself interrupted by the talking of some of the congregation, of which he was obliged to take notice. A woman immedi ately rose, and wishing to clear her own sex from the aspersion, said: “Observe, at least, your reverence, it is not on our side.” “So much » the better, good woman, so much, the better,” answered the clergyman ; “it will be the sooner over.”

Yankee Cuteness. The Yankee character is, in itself, an exceeding humorous compound. “A strange hybrid, indeed, did circumstances beget, here in the New World upon the old Puritan stock, and the earth never before saw such mystic praticalism, such niggard geniality, such calculating fanaticism, such cast-iron enthusiasm, such sour faced humor, such close fisted generosity.” The Yankee will make a living out of anything, or anywhere. His ingenuity is just the most certain lever for removing difficulties and obstacles from his path. It has been remarked that, if a Yankee was shipwrecked overnight on an unknown island, he would be going around the first thing in the morning trying to sell maps to the inhabitants. . “Put him,’ says Lowel,‘on Juan Fernandez and he would make a spellingbook first, and a salt pan afterwards." A long, hard warfare with necessity has made him one of the hardiest, shiftiest, thriftiest of mortals. In trading, he is the very incarnation of the keenest shrewdness. He will be sure to do business under the most adverse circumstances, and secure a profit also. This propensity is portrayed in the following bit of veracious history:

“Reckon I couldn’t drive atrade with you to-day, Squire,” said a genuine specimen of the Yankee pedlar, as he stood at the door of a merchant, in St. Louis. “Reckon you calculate about right, for you can't, noways.” _ _“Wall I giwsa yon needn’t get huffy ’beout it. Now, here.s dozen ginooine razor strops,—wuth two dollars and a half; you may hev ‘em for two dollars.”

“I tell you I don’t want any of your straps so you may as well be going along.” “Wall now look, here Squire. I’ll bet you five dollars that if you make me an offer for them ’ere straps, we'll hev a trade yet.” “Done,” said the merchant, and he staked the money. “Now,” said he chafingly, “I’ll give you a sixpence for the strops.” “The’re yourn!” said the Yankee, as he quietly pocketed the stakes. “But,” continued he, after a little reflection, and with a bust of frankness; “I calculate a joke’s a joke, and if you don’t wan’t them strops, I’ll trade back.”

The merchant looked brighter. “You are not so bad a chap, after all, said he; “here are your strops, give me the money.” “There it is,” said the Yankee, as he took the strops and handed back the sixpence. Atrade is a trade, and a bet is a bet. Next time you trade with that ere sixpence don’t you buy razor strops.” Lying Wills, Hazlett mentions an habitual liar, who, consitent to the last employed the few remaining days he had to live, after being condemned by his doctors, in making

a will, by which he bequeathed large estates in different parts of England, money in the funds, rich jewels, rings, and all kinds of valuables, to his old friends and acquaintances, who, not knowing how far the force of nature could go, were not for some time convinced that all this fairy wealth never had an existence anywhere but in the idle coinage of his brain whose whims and projects were no more. A wealthy nobleman hit upon a still more culpable device for securing posthumeus ignominy. He gave one lady of rank a legacy “byway of compensation injury he had done her fair famea large sum to the daughter of another, a married woman, “from a strong conviction that he was the father:” and so on, through half a dozen more items of the sort, each leveled at the reputation of some one from whom he had suffered a repulse; the whole being nidified (without be- , ing erased) by a codicil. A widow, occuping a large house in a fashionable quarter of London, sent for a wealthy solicitor to make . her will, by which she disposed , of between sixty and seventy , thousand pounds. He proposed t soon after, was accepted, and , found himself the happy husband of a penniless adventuress. Honesty is the best “policy.”

“COSTAR’S” PREPARATIONS! EVERYBODY—Tries Them! EVERYBODY—Uses Them! EVERYBODY—BeIieves in Them! EVERYBODY—Recommends Them! Are you troubled by Rats, Mice, Roaches, Ants, &c.? £43f“Buy a 25c. or 50c. Box of—“Costar’s” Exterminators. “Only infallible Remedies known.’’ “Free from all Poison.” Not dangerous to the human family.” “Rats come out of their holes to die.” Improved to keep in any climate. Areyou annoyed withßed-Bugg? Can’t sleep nights! B®“Buy a 25c. or 50c. Box of—“Costar's” Bed-Bug Ester. “Destroys and prevents BedBugs.” “Never fails.” A liquid, used by Hotels, Boarding Houses, Ships, Boats, Public Institutions, and Housekeepers everywhere. For Moths in Furs, Woolens Carpets, &c. B@“Buy a 25 or 50c. Flask of—“Costar’s” Insect Powder. Destroys instantly Insects on Fowls, Flies on Animals.— “Nothing exceels it in power and efficacy.” “Free from Poison.” Imported and prepared only by “Costar.” “A sure thing" Thousands testify to its merits. J@“Buy a 25c. or 50c. Box of—“Costar's” Corn Solvent. For Corns, Bunious, Warts, &«. “Try it.” It is positively efficacious. Take away the cause. Apply the Corn Remedy, toyour . comfort. Then tell your friexds about it. Don’t suffer with Pain! A wonderful power of Healing! Every family should keep it in the house. 8@ r "Buy a 25c. or 50c. Box of—“Costar’s” Buckthorn Salve. Its effects are immediate. For Cuts, Burns, Bruises, Wounds, Sore Breasts, Piles, Ulcers, Old Sores, Itch, Scrofula and Cutaneous Eruptions, Chapped Lips, Hands, &c., Bites of Animals, Insects, &c. This Salve has proved a comfort and blessing to thousands. “A Universal Dinner Pill” (sugar coated). 30 years administered in a Physician’s Practice. E@“2s cent and 50cent Boxes—“Costar’s” Bishop Pills. Os extraordinary efficacy for Costivcness, Indigestion, Nervous and Sick Headache, Dyspepsia, Dysentery, General Debility, Liver Complaints, Chills, Fevers, &c. Not Griping, Gentle, mild and soothing—cleanses the system of impurities, ano builds up Constitutions broken by the use of Tobacco, Liquors, &c.

“That Cough will kill you.”— Don’t negleet it. TaJ*e home the . Cure—the niceest improved article. BST”2S cent and 50 cent Sizes — “Costar’s” Cough Remedy. The children ciy for it—it is a “Soothing Syrup.” For Coughs, Colds, Hoarseness, Sore Throat, Croun, Whooping Cough, Asthma, Bronchial Affections. Singers, Speakers, and all troubled with Throat Complaints, will find this a beneficial Pectoral Remedy. For the ‘iToilet,” for beautifying the Complexion, giring to the skin a transparent freshness. |@“Bottlcs, SI,OO. “Costar’s” Ritter-Sweet and Orange Blossoms. Renders the skin clear, smooth and soft. Removes Tan, FreckIcs, Pimples, &c. Ladies of taste and elegance in New York are now using it altogether, to the exclusion of everything else. Try one bottle, and see its wonderful quality. MT!!! Beware it lof all Worthies Imitations. BSTNone Genuine without “COSTAR’S" signature, anti 50c. sizes kept by all DRUGGISTS, ffsrsi.oo Sizes sent by mail on receipt of price. W#2.tX) paj s f or any t ), rce SIM Bile# by ElpreM «45.00 pays for eight *I.OO sizes by Express. Address HENRY R. COSTAR, 434 Broadway, N. Y. T. DORWIK & BRO., —AGENTS AT— Decatur, Ind.

FORT ME FRUIT HOUSE -AND GREATTEA DEPOT! —:o:— FORT WAYNE, INDIANA. Dealer* in all kind* of Teas, Groceries, TOBACCOS, PROVISIONS, &c, -FOR '.’UK—FAMILY TRADE. —o—- — OUR PRICE LIST. TEAS. Young Hyson Tea, good 90c to $1 $ tb do best §1,25 to 1,40 do Imperial do good !*oc to 1,00 do do do best 1,25 to 1,40 do Gunpowder do good 1,00 to 1,25 do do do best 1.25 to 1,50 do Oolong do good 75c to 1,00 do do do best 1,00 to 1,25 do Japan do best 75c to 1,00 do 0 COFFEE. Good Coffee, - - -23 c per pound. Best do - - - -28 cdo do °~ SUGARS. Good Sugar, brown, 12Jc per pound. Best do do 14c do do do do white 16jc de do do do crushed, 19c do do do do powdered, 19c do do —O—TOBACCOS. Best Navy Plug Tobacco, 50c per fit 2d quality do do 40c do do Best Smoking do 25c do do 2d quality do 20c do do O FISH. No. 1 White Fish, per half barrel., 54 00 No. 1 Pickerel, do do 3 50 No. 1 Mackeral, do do 6 00 Fish in Kitts, 1 50 White Fish, per pound, 05 Cat Fish, do do 05 All our Fish are warranted good or money refunded. O—CANNED FRUITS. Peaches, per can, ° 25c Strawberries, do 35c Blackberries, do 25c Whortleberries, do 25c Tomatoes, do 20c —O>— DRIED FRUITS.

Good Raisins, per pound, 15c Best do do 25c Currants, do 12j Dried Peaches, ’do 10c do Apples, do 8c 0 We guarantee a saving of 50 per cent., at least, to our customers. Familes at any distance can have their orders filled and shipped to them by express or stage, with the same care and attention as if they were present—and any goods not satisfactory can be returned to us and the money refunded. The express charges on shipping will be a small consideration in view of the per cent, saved—from | to 1 cent per pound—according to distance. All orders should be addressed to the Fort Wayne Fruit House, Fort Wayne, Ind. —oh— We Also Pay Cash -ForBUTTER AND EGGS’ IN ANY QUANTITY, AND SELL ALL OTHER GOODS PROPORTIONATELY LOW PRICES! Address all orders to the FORT WAYNE FRUIT HOUSE. YtlnllyK Ha taa

Grocery & Provision Store U SCHtRMEVEBt DECATUR, INDIANA, Is receiving fresh supplies of Family Groceries every week. His stock consists of Coffees, Sugars, Teas, Syrup, Molasses, Vinegar, Salerads, Spices, of all kinds, Dried Beef, Bacon Hams, Shoulders, Salt Fish, of all kinds, Soap, Candles, Dried Apples, Prunes, Canned reaches, & Oysters Waoden & Willow Ware. UCKFECmKEBY! TOBA CCO # CIGARS, Butter, Lard, Ac., In fact everything usually kept in a First Class Family Grocery, And which! will sell very cheap for cash. The highest Market price paid for all kinds of Country Produce. Cash paid for Hides. vlln9tf TIN WARE! STOVES: H. W. KOVEB, East side 2d Str., opposite the Clerk's Respectfully announce to the citizens of Adams County, and the public in general, that he keeps constantly on hand a large assortment of S.T OVE S, -SUCH AS — COOK, PARLOR AND OFIFCE STO YES. Also a large stock of TIN AND JAPAN WARE, He is also prepared to put up LWisi Rofls aai Tin SjoitiM, and in fact is prepared to do all kinds of work pertaining to his business, including COPPER SMITHING. Having recently enlarged by an addition to his store-room he is prepared to fill all orders in his line, of his own manufacture, either at Wholesale or Retail, atlower prices than’ean be furnishedby any other establishment in the county. Country Produce taken in exchange for work. vlOnlltf. WOODWARD & YOUNG,

Jobbers and Manufacturers of WOOLENS, HATS ASS CSA2S V —AND—FORT WAYNE, INDIANA. Agents for the Crescent Paper Collar Company. vlln'2s6m. B. D« ANGELIT" -MANUFACTURER OFFRENCH YOKE SHIRTS, Flannel Underwear, NECK-TIES, BOWS AND SCARFS, MASONIC, ODD FEIXOWS, and other societies, db Tlegalia. (Send for Circulars.') An-d Dealer Xxx ladies’, gentlemen’s a children’s FUHNISJIING GOODS, No. 64 Calhoun and No. 2 Berry Sts., FT. WVf IVVE, IJVD. Send for Instructions for self measure* ment. vllnllyl. Planing Mill. Decatur, Ind. M the old FORJV.IX MILLS ALL kinds of lumber dressed to order, such as Flooring, Ceiling, Siding, Wide Lumber, etc. Persons bringing lumber from a distance can get it dressed and take itback the same trip. D. 0. JACKSON, Proprietor. v!0«2&-ly.

CABINET WAREROOMS! BARTHEL & YAGER, DEC.ITVR, I.VDI-1 Would respectfully call the attention of the public to the fact they keep constantly on band, and manufacture to order, all kinds of FURNITURE, -SUCH ASBureaus 9 Stands, SESSHUS, Breakfast, Dining, Side & Centre TABLES, LOUNGES, CUPBOARDS, SECRETARIES, PLAIN AND FANCY CHAIRS, sc., All of which will be sold cheaper than at any other establishment of the kind in this county. All work warranted to be made out of clear and seasoned lumber. Repairing done to order on short notice. Please call and examine our Furniture and Prices before purchasing elsewhere. We also keep on hand or manufacture to order all kinds, sizes and styles of We have a first class Hearse with which to attend Funerals, whenever desired, on reasonable terms. Shop and wareroom on Second Street, Onuosite the Public Square. vlln9yl H. B. KNOFF, PRACTICAL! MBBDffm 4 PHOTOGRAPHER, riTJ. .. „ ■„ I , Would inform his patrons and customers generally, that he is always ready to accommodate them with all kinds and styles of Pictures known to the art, at cheaper rates than they can be'had elsewhere. Special attention given to the taking of children’s pictures. He has on hand a choice assortment of Photograph Albums, Card Photograph Specialties, Bose W'ood $ Gilt Frames, Cord and Tassels, Rose wood and Gilt Moulding of differerent widths, sold to suit purchasers, at low rates. Also Charts, Battle Scenes, Bible Scenes, sc. CALL .lA'D SEE US. Decatur, Ind. May 4, '66 ts.

DAVIS & BYERS, BOOK BINDERS, AND Blank Book Manufacturers, No. 25 Calhoun St., Opposite Court House, FORT W.II’A'E, IJTD. Particular attention paid te County work. gsg-Mfigazines, Music, aiid old Books bound and re-bound in any style desired. HENRY J. ASH. F. H. M’CULLOCH. ASH & McCULLOCH, -DEALERS INSTOVES, HARDWIRE, GLASS, Sash, Nails, Furnishing Goods, and FARMING IMPLEMENTS. Also, Manufacturers of Tin, Cow aM Sheet Iron Ware, No. 87 Columbia Street, Fort Wayne, Indiana. The best Coal Oil and a complete assortment of Lamps always on hand. vllnllyl. e PIAKTOS! O. Xi. HILL, Kos. 52 & 54 Calhoun Street, FORT WAYNE, IND., Wholesale and Retail Dealer in Pianos, Amertcan Organs, Melodeons, and all kind of Small Instruments. Sole Agent for Wm. Knabe & Co’s Pianos, Baltimore: and Stienway & Son’s Pianos, New York. Also agent for Wheeler & Wilson’s Sewing Machines. Parties desiring to purchase will do well to give me a call. vllnllyl. O. D. HURD, -MANUFACTURER OFSASH, PSOAS A BUNAS. : promptly executed. North side Canal, west of the Gas works. vlln2syl. FORT WAYNE, IND. “ML, $1,000,000. SECURITY BY STATE LAW, $2,000,000. ENTERPRISE INSURANCE COMPANY CINCINATTI, OHIO. Assetts July Ist, 1867, — $1,168,699 3.. The stock of this Company is exclusively owned and controled by active business men with a view th their own security, and to insure prompt and bus-iness-like adjustment of losses. DAVID STUDABAKER is the Agent of this company, at Decatur. R. 8. PETERSON will make Surveys and contracts of Insurance for Mr. Studabakeb when called upaa. vlln2L

ITS EFFECT IS MIRACULOUS. The old, the young, the middle »g«d t»nite to praise HALL’S VEGETABLE SIQILIAW HAIR RENEWER. It is an entirely new scientific discovery, combining many of the most powerful and restorative agents in the vegetable kingdom. We have such confidence in its merits, and are so sure it will do all we claim for it, that we offer SI,OOO Reward If the The Sicilian Hair Renewer doer not give satisfaction in all cases when used in strict accordance with our instructions. HALL’S Vegetable Sicilian Hair Renewer has proved itself to be the most perfect preparation for the Hair ever offered to the public. It is a vegetable compound, and contains no injurious properties Whatever. It is not a Dye, it strikes at the Roots and fills the glands with new life find coloring matter. IT WILL RESTORE GRA Y HAIR TO ITS ORIGINAL COLOR. Il will keep the Hair from falling out. It cleanses the Scalp, and makes the Hair Soft, Lustrous, and Silken, IT IS A SPLENDID HAIR DRESSING! No person, old or young, should fail to use it It is recommended and used by ths FIRST MEDICAL A UTHORITY. for Halls Vegetable Sicilian Hair ahd take nobthif." . The Proprietors offer the Sicilian Hair Renewer to the public, entirely confident that it will bring back the Hair to its original color, promote its growth, and in nearly all cases where it has fallen off will restore it unless the person is very aged. »I‘LI. A to.. Proprietors, Nashua, N. H. Sold by all Druggists. vlln9yl.

$1,000,000 IN WATCHES! FOR SALE ON THE POPULAR ONE PRICE PEAN, GIVING EVERY PATRON A Handsome and Reliable Watch! For the low Price of Ten Dollars! Without Regard to Value, And not to be Paid for unless perfectly sat* isfactory. 100 Solid Gold Hunting Watche., *256 to SI,M) 100 Magic Cased Gold Watches, 200 to JO# 100 Ladies Watches, Enameled, 100 to 300 200 Gold Hunting Chron’ter Watches, 250 to 300 200 Gold Hunting English Levers, 100 to 350 300 Gold Hunting Duplex Watches, 150 to 200 300 Gold Hunting American Watches 100 to 350 500 Silver Hunting Levers, 50 te 150 500 Silver Hunting Duplexes, 75 to 350 500 Gold Ladies Watches, 'SO to 350 1,000 Gold Hunting Lepines, 50 to 75 1,000 MiscellaneousVilver Watches, 50 to 10# 2,506 Hunting Silver Watches, 2s to 50 5,000 Assorted Watches, all kinds, 10 to 7# g@“Every patron obtains a Watch by this arrangement, costing but sl9, while it may be worth $1,009. No partiality We wish to immediately dispose of the above magnificent Stock. Certificates, naming the articles, are placed in sealed envelopes, and well mixed. Holders are ’ entitled to the articles named on their certificate upon payment of Ten Dollars, whether it be a W atch worth SI,OOO or one worth less. The return of any of our certificates entitles you to the article named thereon upon payment, irre. spective of its worth, and as no article valued less than $lO is named on any certificate, it will at once be seen that this is Ko Lottery, but a straightfor* ward legitimate transaction, which niay be participated In even by the most fastidious! A single certificate will he sent by mail, post paid, upon receipt of 25 cents, five for sl, eleven for $2, thirty-thre# and an elegant premium for $5, sixty-six and more valuable premium for $lO, one hundred and most superb Watch for sls. To Agents, or those wishing employment, this is a rare opportunity. It is a legitimately conducted business, duly authorized by the Government, and open to the most careful scrutiny. Try usl WRIGHT, BRO., & CO., Importers, 161 Broadway, New York. vlln2l~ly. Notice lo School Teachers! Office School Examiner, ) Adams County, Ind. J Examinations of Teachers for License will be held at the office of the School Examiner on the following days, to-wit; The last Friday of each of the following months: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August and September. And upon the second and last Fridays of the following named months: October, November and December. Applicants will be required to present certificates of good moral character.— This rule will be strictly enforced. Under no circumstances will an examination be given on any day other than here advertised. Teachers will- be required to pass an examination in the eight branches required by law. S. C. BOLLMAN, July 12, ’67-tf. S. Ex., A. C. C. M. FRANCE Would announeeto thepublicthat hei# a regularly licensed auctioneer, and will attend all Public Sales, whenev#r requested, upon addressing him at WU--1 shire, Ohio.