Decatur Eagle, Volume 3, Number 3, Decatur, Adams County, 7 October 1859 — Page 1

T HF DF C A TTI R E A fi " F 11 ii I/ Ev /I 1 L H 11l fit v 1j

VOL. 3.

TIIE EAG LE. I PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, BY I 5 PIIIL L1 PS & IIIL L, O.ffoe, on Miin Street, in the old School Rouse, one Square (forth of J. ti P Crahs’ Store. I Terms of Subscription : ] For one year, $1 50, in advance; $1 75, within i the year, and $2 00 after tho year has expiicd. ( ItyNo paper will be unti’ sill; arrirages are paid, except at the option of the i Publishers. Terms of Advertising; ’ , One square, (ten lines) three insertions, $1 00 " Each subsequent insertion, 25 (EFtio advertisement will be considered less ' than one square; over one square will be conn- I ted and charged as two; over two, as three, etc. '; JOB PRINTING: We are prepared to do all kinds of job-work' in a neat and workmanlike manner, on the most ! reasonable terms. Our material for the comple- j tion of Job-Work, being new and of the latest styles, and we feel confident that satisfaction can be siven. s - | The Unseen Battlefield. There is an unseen battle-field In every human breast, Where two opposing forces meet; But where they seldom rest. That field is veiled from mortal sight, ’Tis only seen by One Who knows alone where victory lies, When each day’s fight is done. One army clusters strong and fierce, Their chief of demon-form; His brow is like the thunder cloud, His voice the bursting storm. His captains, Pride and Lust and Hate, Whose troops watch night and day, Swift to detect the weakest point, And thirsting for the pray. Contending with this mighty force Is but a little baud; Yet there with an unquailing front. Those warriors firmly stand Their leader is a God-like form, Os ccunrenanc<* And glowing on his naked breast A simple cross is seen . His captains, Faith, and Hope, and Love. Point to that wondrous sign; And gazing on it all receive Strength from a Source divine. They feel it speaks a glorious truth, A truth as great as sure, That to be victors they rnt-’ To love, confide, e v .me in wild strife, That lairhfl o ]y C alm; imprV deadly blow to shield, P-fir every wound a balm. And when they win that battle field. Past toil is quite forgot; Thvplain where carnage once had reigned Becomes a hallowed spot: A spot where flowers of joy and peace Spring from the fertile sod. And breathe the perfume of their praise On every breeze—to God. Doctor—‘John, did Mrs. Green get the Medicine I ordered?’ Druggist’s Clerk —'I guess so, for I satv a crape on the door this morning.’ What is tho difference between truth and eggs? Truth crushed to earth will rise ngain hut eggs won’t. The Illinois Journal asks if we can throw any light on kissing? We don’t want to; the thing is done just as well in the dark. Why is a child reading his alphabet and saying K instead of the next letter hke the air we breathe? Ans.—Because ill the L he meant (element). At achristning, while the minister was making the certificate, he happened to say,— ‘Let me see, this is the 30th.’ ‘The thirtieth!’ exclaimed the indignant mother; ‘indeed it is only the eleventh.’ A gallant was lately sitting beside his beloved, and being unable to think of any thing else to say, asked her why she was like a tailor? ’I don’t know,’ said she with a pouting ■ip. 'unless it is because I’m silting beside a goose.’ ‘Little boy, can I go through this gate to the river?’ inquired a fashionable dressed lady. ‘Perhaps so; a load of hay went through this morning,’ was the horrid reply. It is said that many fancy young men are having their heads shaved close to the scalp. They should next wear the large plaid pants, when their imitation o. > Ge State Prison attire would be complete.

NEWSPAPER COLLECTIONS. | I WRITTEN FOR A SOUTHERN PAPER, BUT SUITED TO MOST MERIDIANS. | My Dear Sir:—l have just returned • from a tour throughout the State, and proceed to furnish you with an account of’ my labors and their success. I have b-'Cn gone for three months and assure you in all sincerity that ! am fully satisfied.— j You furnished me with a list of one hun-1 dred nnd seventeen owing subscribers, as ; you will recollect. I have called upon 1 one hundred and four of them, and have! the honor of paying over to your order three dollars twelve and a half cents, be- I j ing the amount to which you are entitled ! I I return you the list from number one to I j 117, and now give you the reply of each I ■■ subscriber. i No I—ls a mimister. lie says in the first place, be never got one half of the numbers, nnd iu the next place your joker’s column was to scurrilous. He can’t I think of aiding to sustain a paper that ad-1 . vertises horse races and gander pullings. | ' Besides he knows from the tone of your I editorials that you drink, and paying you ! would only be the means of your ending ■ i your days in the kennel. He wonders nt your impudence in sending him his bill i after publishing the account of the great I prize fight. j No 2—ls in jail for debt. He has not ! seen a half a dollar for one year. Says be would pay with the utmost cheerfulness, if he only had the money, but he had !to borrow a shirt to put on last Sunday : Admires your paper wonderfully and hopes vou will stil continue sending it to him. It you send him any more papers he hopes you will see that the postage is j paid. ! No 3 —lsa young doctor. Says your p n per is beneath the notice of a gentleman w' uldn’t give a for a cart load of them. Says you inserted an article reflecting on the profession. Cuss’d your ! bill and says you may collect it the best I wnv you can.

><.; 4—ls an old maid. Says you are i « fling at single ladies of an uncertain w-nnHn’? n»v vou if she was rolling in wealth and you hadr.’t as much cash as would buy you a .-rust of bread. Ge papers she had back a- untll R S°> an ' l sa y s> DOW 1 " cf> .\ them back, she don’t ow» y ol * a ! 1 m,. Sav she is even wI ,JI T 0 Rn( l * n ' tends to keep so fib l,ie very last day of her life.

No s—ls a gambler.—a sporting gentleman. Says he got completely cleaned out last week at the races. Could not accommodate his grandmother with a hail . dime if she was starving. Likes your paper tolerably—would like it better it you would publish more races, and would occasionally give an account of a chicken 1 fight. Likes the description of the prize I figli* amazingly —lt redeemed a multitude o ryour faults. He is after a rich young ! greenhorn who arrived here last week.— He will pay your debt out of the pluckings. y 0 6 —ls an old drunkard. Hasn’t I got anything and never expects to haie. Gathered up all the papers that he had and sold them for a half pint of rum to the keeper to wrap groceries io Wished you would send him a pile.— ! Winked at me when I presented your bill 1 and enquired if I wasn’t » ‘distant relation to the man that butted t.ie bull off the bridge.’ No 7—lsa magistrate. Swore be nevler owed you a cent, and told me I was a I low ra-cal for trying to swindle him in such a bare faced manner. Advised me ! to leave in a little less than no time, or he 1 would gat out a warrant against me as a ! common cheat and have me sent to prison Took his advice. jf 0 s—ls a politician. Meant to have told you a year ago to stop his paper, but forgot it. Tells you to do it now, and thinks you are getting off very cheaply in not losing any more by him. Believes you to be a rascal and is too honorable a man to have anything to do with you, as 'it might compromise him and injure his r jjo 9—Paid up like a man! The only 'one Likes your paper first-rate and ! means to take and pay for it as long as, I you publish or till he dies! A.ked me to ! dinner and treated me like a king. An oasis in the desert. I ]Q —I? a merchant. Expects to break shortly—must save all his small change. Offered me a pair of breeches | and a cotton handkerchief (or the debt.-j Refused him with scorn. Threatened to break my bead. pected to pay Your bill is too large anv how. He don’t care if it is his pat ty ortran. He claims to have dons you some service- but you may now find that he is now postmaster. He was quite wrathy. I and expressed great at you and your paper. He says you must stop R He spoke like a man m authority and evidently had a realizing sense of the importance of his position. The income of

“Our Country's Good shall ever be our Aim—Willing to Praise and net afraid to Elaine.”

DECATUR, ADAMS COUNTY, INDIANA, OUT. 7, 1853.

the office 1 believe is about twenty dollars a year. No. 12 to 117—had no money—sail they didn’t owe. I have succeeded not a whit better with the patrons of the other publications for | which lam agent. 1 have expended two hundred and eight dollars travelling, ami! my entire commissions amount to eighty two dollars and five conte. £ :*-j business don’t exactly suit me. Please accept my resignation from your list of agents. 1 admire your paper very ! much myself, but it would be a queer looking sort of a concern that would come up to the requirements of everybody.— one wants independance in an editor —an-; ' other wouldn’t touch a journal that con-1 > tained an irreverent line with a ten foot | pole. One sentimental lackadaisical miss in pantalettes, wanted nothing but lovepoetry—another never read anything but the marriages. All kinds of abuse I have to bear too. : I wouldn’t mind it so much if they only cursed me too. Swindler! rascal! bloodsucker!—those are some of the names

they think proper to bestow upon me. I tried fighting for awhile and thrashed sev ' eral patrons like blazes; but occasionally | got licked like thunder myself. Once I was put in jail for assault end battery and only eseaped by breaking out. Send me a receipt for three dollars and twelve and a half cents, and believe me, Yours in despair, Aaron Swetwell. Seeking Information. ‘Can you direct me to the Hoj tel?’ inquired a gentleman with a carpet i bag in hand of a burly Hibernian standling on the steps of a railway station. °‘Faix, an’ its jist mesilf that can do 1 that same,’replied Paddy: ‘You see you I jist go up that strate, till you come to j Teddy O’Mulligans shop, thin— ’ j ‘But I don’t know where Teddy O’Muiligan's shop is.’ *Och, an* fiurc I didn’t think uv that ' Well then yer honor must kape on till ye ! git to the 9 ■ tii'aC on the right an' go on till ye git to the sign of the red cow—and mind ye don’t fall down there away —thin ye go on till „.eget to the sign of the big watch, kape that on the lift; thin ye kape on a little furder till you come to a big tree and after that ye "turn to the right or lift —be the bones uv St Patrick 1 don’t know which thin —' The traveler turned in despair, to a long, lank, slabsided Jonathan, who was standing close bv, whittling with all fury and made the same inquiry. But here he was little better off.

Maybe you're gwine to put up there?’ was the response of Jonathan. ‘I intend to,’ said the traveler, if I can get to it.’ ‘Did you come from far off. ‘Yes, from Philadelphia,’ was the impatient’reply; ‘but ci n you tell me where the— ’ •Got any more baggage, said the im- : purturable whittler. ■ No. this is all,’said the traveler con- ; vinced that the only way to get the direc- | tion was to submit to the questioning. | ‘Gwine to stay long?’ •Couldn’t say was the reply in rather a crusty manner. ‘But Itnin a Lun >, and would Lko to be directed to ‘Wait a minute. I reckon you’re a i married man, an’t ye? ‘No lam not. And now I won’t anI swei any more of your impertinent queries till vou’ve satified me where I can find the ■ Wall, squire,’ quoth the Yankee, cool as a cucumber, ‘l’d like to oblige ye but the truth is I’m ft stranger and have never been in them diggin’s myself. But you I can inquire at —' i ‘Oh, you go to the said tl.e travi eler smartly turning upon bis heel. In less than a minute a carpet bag with a man attached, was seen hurrying away | from said ‘diggin’s fully convmced that asking directions in such a quarter was of no particular advantage.

An Interesting Story.—‘Shon, mine Shon,’ said a worthy German father to his heir of ten years, whom he bad overheard using profane language:—‘Shon, mine Shon, come here and I vill tell you von little stories. Now mine Shon, shall it be a ‘.rue story or a make believe? ‘O, a true story of course,’ answered bis son John.

•Very well. den. Dere was once a goot nice old shentleman (sboost like me) and ' he had von dii ty itle poy (shoost like you; And von day he overheard him swearing like a young villian which he vas. So he went to der corner and took out a cowhide, (shoost as I am doing now), and he took de itle plackgnard by de collar fdis vay you see) and he volloped him shoost so!’ And den; mine tear Shon, he pull his ear dis vay, and smack his face dat vay, and tell him to go m.tout his ‘-upper shoost as you vill do to night.

Ilairyfaces. A distinguished lady in Xenia, Ohio, is! waging a terrible crusade against beard d men. Well, as the old lady once said ;i. a a certain, occasion, ‘There’s no accounting for tastes.’ The piece of divin i'y in question has never fingered a soft I i .mstache, or she would’t grow quite so ii.tious, Hear her: , The passion, and affections have their ; poles in the face; firmness in the upper lip, I mirthfulness near the outer corners of the mouth, nnd the affections in the edges of the lips, etc.—hence the philosophy and j delight of kissing; the more intense the I passion, the more soul-thrilling and en- ! rapturing the kiss. Behold that lovely : woman, with a form shaped by the hand of harmony, regular features under clus- . I tering ringlets, bright eyes beaming with intelligence, well-arranged, pearly teeth, ,-a soft and delicate skin, a mouth like Cupid’s bow, a neck like ivory, a breast ! like alabaster, and the swelling undulations of love like snow, her lips two rosebuds moist with morning dew, and her i j cheeks

“Where the live crimson through the native white Shooting o’er the face, diffuses bloom, Ami every nameless grace.” Radiant in beauty, she is surrounded by an atmosphere of love, as arose exhales fragrance. Just think of one of these hait y faced fellows attempting to kiss her —see him pulling up his cheveaux-de-frese of bristles to reveal his wild, beastlooking, cavernous slit of a mouth. Bahi it’s abominable —the idea is disgusting—nauseous —get out—scat! “Give ns an ounce of civit, good apothecary, to sweeten my imagination.’ Whom do mouchtaches and beards become? Brigands, pirates, Cllibusters, and especially professional executioners. Jack Ketch, the hangman, would effectally conceal all expressions of human sympathy and compassion, causing him to look as grim and unrelenting as death, in i whose service he officiates.

Douglas mid Letter Writing. j The snrigh’ly ; 6ut ot the Vincennes (Ind.) Sun wiites: ’Douglas la ki,« only man in the Union ! who can write letters and make speeches I and not get his foot in it. Henry Clay’s | Raleigh-Texas letter made Polk President— when assisted by that stinking | Black Republican, Birney, who swindled Clay out of JGw York- The great Scott who will live as long as history—could overcome all except his own letters and speeches —sunk under ‘the fire in the rear’ and ‘the rich Irish brogue.’ Wise has letered himself to death; Bates ditto; and a thousand other politicians ditto. Douglas can make a speech at a log cabin raising and in the Senate —take his grub nut of doors on the prairie, or with the Emperor Nicholas—write letters about the rights of naturalized citizens at home and abroad —about Cuba, niggers and Territories, and everything else—and all ' the time carry with him the public head | and the public heart. He goes right in j and ‘wins.’ Douglas gave Trumbull and ; j Lincoln uorest at home. Trumbull lived in Madison County and Lincoln in Sangamotn —both had to be gained by Douglas to save him—both were gained. Douglas had eight majority in the Legislature, even when the State ticket was carried by the Republicans. ‘I look upon Douglas with wonder.— Poor—without influential friends or the I means of acquiring anything more than a ; common-school education; to grow up ! and have his name pronounced oftener than any other in the nation; attaining his | dizzy hight alone and maintaining himself ■ with all the intrepedity of Blondin over ! the Niagara Falls, carrying himself un- ! dauntedly—and others on his back—and never failing, he will be nominated nnd i elected‘just as easy.’ If the B. R.’s nominate Crittenden, Bell or Bates, they ! are all slaveholders, and ‘Miss Nancy’ i can’t go them; if Seward or Chn=e, ‘free ! nigger’ spoils: if Ranks, ‘the Irish brogue’ | nnd‘charming German accent’ will be ‘over the left’ with him. This carding together wool and bristles, and har, and wooden nutmegs, and free territory, and the slave-trade, and congressional inter- i vention, and woman’s rights, &c., will not make cloth fit to cover any body.’ I This peculiarity of Senator Douglas is frequently commented upon in private L conversation, and his political success is attributed to tho fact that he always writes and talks well and judiciously. For some cause or other, weddings, are very bad for the eyes. Tho moment the knot is tied, the bride’s two Aunts and a Mother rush into the ‘hall bed-room,’ and , have ‘a good cry’ for hours together — Why a poor fellow’s promised to pay ‘a ; young woman’s board-bill’ should operate thus or. the 'finer feelings of our nature,’ puzzles us io divine. I' The Irish citizens and decendants of i Irishmen in Calfornia have determined to i present a magnificent sword to Marshal i McMahon, the new Duke Magenta I

A Singular Accident. —Some two weeks since, an elderly German fell during tho night down a steep flight of sups and struck the side of his he id against the wall at the landing. lie was taken up insensible and carried to his room. I’ was found on examination, when he be came conscious, that l.e was paralysed in ail those parts of the body below the ueck, aus! tliac his neck was IL" remained in this condition something over five days, conversing freely w ith his at-i tendants, and describing to them nil the sensations which he had. ILs attending surgeons, Drs. Thum and Goldsmith, v. 1 believe, made an attempt to set the neck ( but were obliged to i-esiston account of I suffocation coming on whenever the head was brought into its natural position — Between the fifth and sixth days, the , nurse undertook to move him for the purpose of changing his linen, nnd in doing so the head was unwittingly turned so! that the neck was straight. Death took ( place instantly. But for this accident; | there is no telling how long he might have! j lived. Altogether the case is » most ex traorjinary one, nnd no doubt will in due ! time, be published authoritatively in some I I medicaljournal.— Louisville Journal. . — --1 —-l* tfv

A Decidedly Business Start —Business Before Romance —i he following from Rensselear (Ind-) (lazelte, ot the 14th, is not so full of romance and poetry as many of our modern bridal excursions but it possesses quite a practical air: A young gentleman of our town brought home last night his new handsome and blushing bride, and put up at the Dunlap House. Sometime in the night the wagon containing bis household furniture am! personal property came to town, for we saw it standing in front of the ho-el this morning It contained a crate with two hogs in it; on the top of it a box with one hog; in front of the crate a box with three or four turkeys, hung round in all available places were old hats, caps, bandboxes, hardware, tinware, rags, queensware <fcc., and on the ground, tied to the wagon by a string, was a cradle that looked something ilKe a sugar trough.

A Schoolmaster Caught.—A few days since an ex-school teacher, not a hundred miles from here, was rambling in the woods with a friend. The weather was warm and be had taken off his boots, which he had in his hand. In the course of bis peregrinations he found a sappling curiously bentover, without anything apparently to hold it. Our pedagogues curiosity was excited, nnd he marched up to make an examination, when lie suddenly found himself going up feet fore most. In his (right at bis novel position he dropped his boots nnd caught hold ol a little tree near by and thus suspended by one foot in mid-air hanging to the bush for dear life, to keep from going up, he knew not how far. The knight of the birch, cried lustily’ for help and bis companion soon liberated him from his ludicrous situation. He had incautiously placed his foot in a snare fixed for a moose bv some enterprising hunter.— Arooslooi Pioneer.

Not Satisfied.—Last week a very hard working sailor returned to this city, after a five years absence in California, with but little more cash than he took with him. He left a wife and two child ten when he went away, and the first thing on his arrival was to seek out his family. He found them in the third ward and alter kissing his wife, saw with as- 1 tonishment that his children, like sheep in the wheat had doubled in the five years as in the place of two there were now four and one quite small. He looked at his wife who stood silently by. Back and forth, from one to the other for full five minutes he gazed, and then broke out with; ‘Well Marv, for a small woman, without help, you've raised h—l amazingly!’—MU. Sews. British Ignorance.—Tho following account of the “Pine Tree State’ appears in a leading English commercial paper, September 10th. Tho passage occurs in a description of Portland, and the reasons why that was selected as the Atlantic port which the Great Eastern would first visit: It was bv the famous ‘Ashburton capitulation’ that the State of Maine was ceaded to the United States. Its geographical position marked it out as peculiarly belonging to British territory, but the importance of securing an excellent Atlantic seaport for Canada and British North America did not appear, in the days when the boundary question was agitated, to be a matter of so much importance so - his country as preserving amicable r< lations with tho government of the adjoining State. The Shelbyville Volunteer says the cow catcher is hereafter to be placed on the rear end of trains on the Rushville Road, to keep the cattle from running over the trains. It is said that this precaution will relieve the anxiety of persons who have friends traveling over the road

A Shower ot Aces. I seen a mighty funny pokergamo once on the Mississippi, a g' in up from Oi lean-. Thar war four old coast Frenchm.n a.isugar planters, just sold their crop nnd got ih.ir pockets full of rocks. They went it strong 1 tell ya. They got their backs and tails both up. Captain ! Whisky had a powerful grip on ’em, and if they wasn't htin-pi:; . , - from l.ia toembs.’ j At last they went to the bar to stretcfi their legs nnd wood up, nnd while they i were gone I see a mischievous lookin chap a changing thar papers. ; ‘Keep shady, says he, a winkin to us that war elandin round the table, ‘ami you’ll see the old boy ria directly.’ ■I Back comes the old chaps, the keerd* war dealt round, and I sea thar eyes a ttappin out; all a tryin to be powerful sol- ■ emn ‘ > A blind’ wm bet and up spoke the . j next band. 'I see ze blind and four beets beltiar.’ I ‘I see zat and go five dollar.’ •Twenty better zan you —ah, ah!’ •! Sacray toenails! snch a shellin out as • thar they war to be sure; nnd when the i dimes run drv they drawed drafts on Orleans, and give notes till they’d bet all thev war worth; when tue hand was callI 1 ed every man jack slips down tour white 1 j aces, and doves for the pile such a yellin ' and cursin and sacraysn as thar war when • I they diskivered how they’d been sold. I The deck on the table were aces; and as ' it war only half deck poker there were 1 ! pl ay in, eveiy man got five aces, and think - > i another ace had crawled into the pack ■ j somehow, they all catched one, nnd kept 1 the others. One run for pistols, anoth- ! er pulls out his knife, and if they’d only ’! diskivered who served ’em out, there ’ ; been a mightv small chance for him but Li ! they went on so that the captain had to ‘ interfere and shut ’em up — Sam Slick in ' i Ter as.

'i Onco two ministers of the Go e pel were I conversing on extemporaneous preaching, j ‘Well,’ ’ said the old divine, waxing i warm, ‘yAu are ruining yourself by writing v..ur sermons and reading them oil. ’ I Your congregation cannot become interested in your preaching, and if yr u were ! called on topreach unexpectedly, you ‘jwould be completely confused. The ; young divine used all his eloquence to convince the oid gentleman that the written sermon expressed bis thoughts and feeling, and it called upon he could preach extemporaneously. ‘As we are of the 1 same faith,’ said the young minister, ‘suppose vou try me next Sabbath morning. On niv ascending the pulpit you can Irma me a tex*, from, any part of the Bible, ami i I will convince you that lean preach with out having looked at the text before I stood up. Likewise I must be allowed the same privilege with you, and we will see wiio comes out best.’ The idea seemed to delight the old gentleman, and it was agreed upon immediately. The following Sabbath, on mounting the pulpit, his senior brother handed him a slip of paper on which was written ‘And the ass opened his mouth and spake,’ from which he preached a glorious sermon, choining the attention of his delighted hearers, and charming bis old friend with his eloquence. In the afternoon, the younger brother who was sitting below the pulpit., handed hisslip. After rising and opening the Bible, the old man looked sadly around—‘Ami not thine ass?’ Pausing a few minutes, he ran his fingers through his hair straightened his collar, blew his nose like the last trumpet, and read aloud—‘Am I not thine ass?’ Another pause, in which a deadly silence reigned. After reading for a third lime—‘Am I not thine ass?’ he looked over the pulpit at his fr'end and in a doleful voice, satd--'I think lam. Brother.' Consequence of Leaving Your Wives —A St. Louis paper relates the trouble of a California gold seeker, who left New York for San Francisco, thence proceeds 1 i to the mines, worked hard tor four years, remitting to his wife in the Empire City , 81,COO per annum all the time and finally ' returned home to meet the partner of his i life, and with her share a handsome forl tune which he had accumulated. He found however, that during his absence she had married a gay youth, was the mother of threechildien, and that all were living in St. Louis. lie went to that city and had an interview with her—with what result is not stated. The Journal of Hea'th eats: ‘When a child is taken with crouo instant Iv app'v cold water—ice waterif possible—suddenlly and freely to the neck and chest with a sponge. The breathing will almost instsntlv be relieved. Soon as possible ' let the sufferer drink as much as it can; then wipe it dry, cover it wnrm, and soon a quiet slumber will relieve all anxiety.’ Subject for a debating club- If a man had a grizzly bear by the tail, would it be policy to bold fast er let go?

NO. 3.