Democratic Press, Volume 2, Number 61, Decatur, Adams County, 12 December 1895 — Page 3

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CHAPTER XXI (Continued • A few day* later noniethhiK oceurr-d of »uch Barton* im|x»rtnnce that Mr*. Koox no longer thought of anything *> trivial a* whether her daughter wore orange-bloaaoins or rose* on her weddingday. All her faculties were employed ill planning how to avert the danger that threatened. It had been a great grief to June that her projected marriage had caused a difference in her relation* with her father. Pleased and proud a* he had been at her aucce**, it appeared to him a* though in gaining bia Colonel a* a son-in-law he had lost hia daughter; and he avoided being with them whenever he could throw a reanonable light upon hi* absence. Jane remonstrated with him in vain he smiled, kissed her. atul promised »pliance with her wishes, even putting a proasnre upon his inclination for that day; but the next he slipped insensibly back into hie newly acquired habit of nearly living at ths Bies« One day the Colonel noticed how seldom he was at home; and then Mrs. Knox, afraid lest he should take offense, determined to speak to her husband. It happened that the Quartermaster had forgotten some papers that morning, and coming back for them, found hi* wife alone in the little room where he usually wrote, and to which she often, a* she had done on this occasion, brought her work. She opened the attack at once. "Won't yon come home to lunch to-day, John?” she asked, in her mildest voice. "The Colonel is staying, and I am sure he thinks it strange you should always avoid him so." “I don't avoid him. wife; but I feel out of my element with him. and that's the truth. Meu are a* nature made them; women are different ami make. or. nt any rate, improve upon themselves. Neither the Colonel nor 1 can ever forget the difference between us. I am sure lie prefers to meet me as seldom as possible.” “I don't believe it.” returned his wife, bluntly. “Women never do believe anything it does not suit them to believe.” he rejoined, with a good-natured laugh. “And it makes Jane miserable. 1 know." she persisted. “Jane will be such a great Indy soon | she will forget to miss her poor old father. lu any case I cannot stay nt home , to-day. I am up to my eyes in busi- j nest.” He saw by her expression that she was still incredulous, and went on to explain. “An order has just come for the detachment from Hattiabad to rejoin ns at once. I ahull have a lot of trouble to squeeze them all in.” Thinking by her silence that die was angry with him. and consequently resolute not to be convinced by anything he might say, he thought it bettor to let the subject drop, nnd having found hi* paper* on the desk, he gathered them into n bundle and left the room, never noticing that his wife was lying back in her chair, white a* a ghost, and with as little power of self-assertion. Colone,! Prinsep came into the room ten minutes later. He wn* searching for n book of Jane’s, and asked Mrs. Knox if she had seen it. Then, as he looked for her reply, he noted her deathly pallor, and asked her Instantly if she were ill. She answered by another question. "Colonel Prinsep, is it true that the Hattiabad detachment is coming here nt once?' “Yes, quite true; it was rather an unexpected order, but Government generally makes np its mind in a hurry." “And Jacob Lynn will lie come?" she gasped out. “Os course the Sergeant will accompany his troop." was the impatient reply. He no longer feared the influence of her first lover over Jane, being so sure of her love, so certain that nothing could separate them now. He felt vexed flint Mr*. Knox should place such undue importance upon this man’s coming* and goings, a.-t though he could control or even hamper his mov»tn»ntH. Yet the effect of her word* filled him with an uncomfortable surprise. She fell back in her chair, wringing her hands nod moaning out that “All was over; there could be no wedding now!" The Colonel was very much annoyed, and did not try to conceal his displeasure. “Yon seem to forget, Mrs. Knox, that 1 tun not wooing your daughter in the dark. All tho regiment is aware of my intentions, and I am not afraid of what nny single member of it may do or say. Sergeant Lynn of his own free will relensed Jane from her engagement, and she Is no longer bound to consider his caprices. I am really at a loss to conjecture how hi* ret’--n equid Interfere with our actions.” "He never gave her up." confessed Mrs. Knox, now in tears. "It was my own wicked scheming, and now it will all come out, and I shall have deceived you all to no purpose!" "Good heavens, Mrs. Knox! Do you know whnt it is that you have said?” cried the Colonel, hoarsely. She went on with what she wn* saying, without nny notice of his interpolation. Now that she hud begun to unburden her mind she felt it as a relief. “You remember the day when Jane wrote at your instigation to ask the Sergeant to give her up. Well, nny man with an atom of pride or even self-respect would have done so at once, for few would care to wed so avowedly an unwilliig bride”—-Mrs. Knox generally grew eloquent under excitement, and used the word ( she had thought appropriate to her position as village school-mistress—"but Jaoot Lynn was always selfishness inearnate.Jind he refused. Her letter was returned with one short sentence written at the end of it, declaring that he could not give her up. And he had left the envelope unclosed. You may blame me if you

will. Colonel Prinsep; hut 1 take it few mothers could have resisted the temptation of cutting nway the words which chance had placed *o |H*rilou*ly close at the bottom <>f the page, when by so doing they could have secured a daughter's happiness aa well a* prosperity. Hut does it matter wlint other* would have done in such a ease? Suffice it to any that, having carefully guarded against the suspicion that anything had boon taken away from It. I tore the letter in half, and inclosed it in it* own enveloj**, leaving Jane to draw tho natural inference. Another letter came from him the other day. and this I also suppressed.” "You never thought in what a false position you wen- placing me," he observed, gloomily, at length. “What am I to do? What will the regiment say when they hear that 1 have tricked my Sergeant out of his sweetheart? Did you ever think." he continued, sternly, "when you concocted such a senseless scheme, the added misery you were heaping up for your daughter? She had never canal for Sergeant Lynn, nnd now mon* than ever will she feel l*iund to marry him to condone her mother's fault. I will not *|H*ak of the cruelty to me, though 1 might well, for it will Im* ten thousand times hnnler to part with her now than before I ever called her mine; but Jenny—poor little Jenny!” "When is the detachment coming in?" she asked, abruptly, in a strained, high key, another idea having come into her tnlnd. “Why should it not Im* your weddingday that wa* to have been.” "Why should it not Im* your wedddingday still? You could well arrange that the marriage should Im* over la-fore the men march in.” Stephen Prinsep paced the room impatiently. “Jane would never consent!” he ejaculated. "Why need she ever know? Since the matter has gone so far, why not carry it out to the end?” "You must do a* you think beat,” he said, in a shnme-faeed, undertone; “I shall remain silent.” CHAPTER XXII. The fourteenth - Jane's wedding day—had come. Mr*. Knox had insisted upon the ceremony taking place at a very early hour, ostensibly to avoid the heat, but in reality to allow of the Colonel and his bride leaving the station before the detachment could arrive. Hut, early as it was to be. Jane was dressed an hour too soon, and stood before tho mirror in the drawing-room surveying herself with pardonable pride in her appearance. Jane gazed on wistfully in the glass. She was glad that she was so fair, that even if she had no other dowry she could at least bring her husband the gift of beauty. She prayed that in his eyes nt least she might never seem less lovable nnd lovely, that he might never repent having chosen her above all others to Im* his wife. And as she gazed, some one came in through the open window, and beside her glowing, smiling face in the mirror was reflected the figure of Jacob Lynn. At first a thrill of instinctive terror ran through her, as she met his fierce blue eyes, and she shrunk away from the passion expressed in his haggard face. But the next moment a truer feeling moved her, nnd she was only- conscious of a great compassion for his sorrow. "Why did you conn*. Jacob?" she asked, her voice full of tender, womanly commiseration, as she turned toward him. "\V hy did I conn*?” he returned with a bitter laugh. “Because I wanted to see with my own eyes whether Jane Knox was as false, ns untrue ns they tell me!” “False. untrue!" she echoed, paling. "Even I, with my unhappily suspicious nature, never dreamed of this,” he went on, ruthlessly. “I thought you might write and throw tin* over, perhaps; but how could I believe that you, whom I thought purer atid more perfect than any other in the world, either man or woman, would steal a march iqioii me so. and to avoid a disagreeable explanation with me, would get married in my absence. You need not have been afraid of me, Jenny!” he added, in a softer tone. “I afraid of you! Why should I be? You gave me up—you returned my letter torn in half without a word," she returned. "I returned your letter, it is true?” h<> answered, more quietly. "But it was not torn, and at the bottom of the page I wrote my answer that 1 could not give you up. I wrote again " “And I never had the letter!” "It wa* your mother who did it! She was always dead against me,” Jacob Lynn replied. Jane remained spi*echlo*s, listening to the clatter of plate* and glasses in the opposite room, where her mother—her mother who hail deceived her so. nnd brought her to this degradation—wn* putting the finishing touches to the simple wedding breakfast. “And so you were to have married our Colonel, Jenny. Do you remember how long ago I thought you two were courting? You denied it then, but after all it came to pass. It is difficult to deceive a lover, and you nre so pretty, I could not ekpect to keep you all to myself without n rival.” Slowly her gaze wandered over him. from hi* rakishly good-looking face, with its bright blue eyes and amber mustache, to his tall figure towering above her. Acknowledging that he was handsomer and more soldier-like than any one she had over known. Jane felt that she would rather die than become his wife. “I rode as hard as I could gallop nil the way." he explained. “It was only at the last camp we heard the news that the Colonel was to be married to-day; and then, when I heard who it wns he meant to marry, I understood why the marriage hail been kept so quiet. 1 got leave to come on at once, without telling anyone my reasons for wishing to bo here —and here I am!” At this juncture Mr*. Knox looked in at the door, which wns half ajar.

The Rergennt. unconadou* that tbej had an on looker, went on: "I am glnd that I managed fa arrlv« In time. Nttppose I bad come just a* tbt marriage wa* over, whnt a dreadful blow it would have been!" Sull th.- girl dul not answer Sbt wanted him to say «trnlght out whnt he etpocted of het; then she could lH*ttei realize tho extent of her misfortune "Yet I am not tit to come in here, all hot and dusty; and you looking *<> dainty, like an angel, Jenny" timidly touching a fold of her white gown “will you went such pretty things for me?" “Give me time to think." she pleaded “In nny ease there will Im* no weddius to-day, ami you can come again.” Ami with (hi* promise he wa* »utl» fled, and left her. It seemed hour* to her; but in reality only twenty minute* slapaed from th< time that she saw her father ride away to the time he came buck with Colom*.' I'rinaep. Then she heard the latter tel! her father not to follow, and a a<*c<>m‘ Inter he strode in alone to where she wat waiting for him. She went toward him with a little cry of relief, nnd laid bet head u|x>n hia breast. For awhile who rested there, content to be folded in hie arms and comforted by his very proximity, though the next moment ah« should be constrained to leave hi* aide forever. At last she poured out all her story how her mother had deceive)) them both in making them believe that Jueob Lynn hnd given her up-how h« had come back an hour before and claim cd her still. YY hen she ended her recital, Stephen Frinaep mads no continent; and looking up anxiously to discover what he thought. Jane saw in hi* face an all-pervading sadness that was indicative of neither horror nor surprise. Could it be possible that thia was no new story to him? A terrible suspicion crossed her mind that he must have been cognizant of the plo» to deceive her from the first. “You knew it before, Stephen - before to-dayshe cried, in a tone of conviction. And ho did not attempt a self-defense. Hia only mode of justification was by shielding himself behind her mother, and that was a meanness to which he could not descend. Rather than that she must believe the very worst. "Jenny, is your love for mo all gone?" ho asked her earnestly, and the sudden flash tlmt crimsoned the fair young fa* - * wa* a sufficient answer to the question. For better, for worse, she had given him her heart, and had no power to repossess herself of the willing gift. "Then won’t you try to forgive me?” he went on. in the same low, impressive tones, advancing a little nearer to her side and Imnding hi* head so that he might hear her faintest whispered word. She gave a frightened upward glance. Ho was very white, but his expression was impenetrable, his manner quite composed. She had not thought that he could look like that, and grew alarmed at the serious look which her words had brought into hi* eye*. She threw out her hands with an imploring gesture, which he either did not see. or would not heed. He bad drawn out from his waist-coat-pocket a plain gold ring, and laid it on the table before her. He did not wish to figure aa a bridegroom without a bride, a subject for divid<*d sneers nnd pity. Hi* sole idea now wns to get away as far as possible from tho scone of hi* discomfiture.

But, in spite of wrath anil disappointment. his expression involuntarily grew softer a* he went toward her, and took her small, cold fingers in hi* own. "Do not let us part in anger. Jenny. Say good-by.” Jane's wedding day ended in rain—and tears. (To be continued.) Forestalled. A London Jeweler says that Lord C. came into the shop one afternoon, accompanied by a footman who bore a small case of green baize. Lord C. announced that he wished to have a few words with the jeweler In private, and was conducted up stairs. He carried with him the green case. "This case,” said his lordship, when the two men were together, “contains the jewels worn by Lady C. on high days and holidays. At present her ladyship Is in the country, where she is likely to remain for several months. Now what 1 want you to do is to make me an Imitation set precisely similar to the originals, only, of course, with false stone*. Lady (’. is no judge of such things, and will never discover the difference. Y’ott can retain the originals, and dispose of them among your customers, allowing me tlx* difference in value between the two sots. But I must ask you to let me have the larger part now. as I have a pressing necessity for money." The peer took out a key. unlocked the box. and produced tin* jewels. The Jeweler looked at them, and replied: “My lord, it is the simplest thing in tho world to match these jeweds In the way you suggest; but I must inform your lordship that the difference In value between the two sets would not be a penny. Tho present Jewels arc counterfeit I purchased the originals from Lady C. more than two years ago and made her these imitations, which are such excellent ones that I am not at all surprised at their deceiving such an excellent judge of jewels as your lordship.” There wa* no more to be said, and his lordship withdrew. Origin of the Blouse. After the fall of the Roman Empire tho sexes started about fair In the matter of clothe*. Our Teutonic ancestors adopted a costume which was almost the same for men and women, and consisted of two main garments, the Roman tunica and toga. The tunica was virtually a shirt with long sleeves, and was buckled at the waist. The men wore it reaching to the knees and the women to the ankles. In colder northern latitudes the men, as a great innovation. added trousers, but these* were looked upon in the light of a distinct extra, and "ere not considered obligatory In hot weather. There seems to be no doubt that the blouse of the mod ern peasant 1s a direct descendant of the tunica.— Lippincott’s Magazine. Men with bunions or with overlying toes from the wearing of tight shoes are not admitted to the army.

IN NEW (101,11 FIELDS. ALLEGED DISCOVERY OF YELLOW METAL IN MINNESOTA. the Mate I* Awaiting with toiialdcrable InU-rral tho Opening of New Mines In Redwood County- Hidden Treasure Is fold to Kalat. ItiMcovcrcd u Year Ago. Minnesota is now awaiting with eontidcralde interest tho result of the openIng of it* now K<>l<l mine*. The State bn* never mined a dollar'* worth of gold, but wn* content to acquire wealth by the slower lint surer process of raising wheat. Tin* alleged discovery of gobi in paying quantities, however, has brought vision* to its people of a road to sudden nnd easy affluence. The new mines an* in R<*lw<hhl County, nine miles northwest of Redwood Falls ami about 115 miles west of Minnenpolia. Sightseers have b<*-n there daily in crowd* from mile* around, but the door* of tlie company'* building* have been closed to them. The visitor* have had to content themselves with a superficial view of where the hidden treasure

* s'• • ■ STAMP MILL.

lay nnd of the preparation* for extracting it, and by carrying off pieces of the vitreous, smoky-looking quartz n* souvenirs. Gold wn* discovered there a year ago by A. Edlund. Mr. Edlund had been a prospector in the YY’est for years and became impressed with the idea that the rugged, rocky country of the Fpper Minnesota Y'alley might l>e gold producing, and h** began prospecting on his own account. Mr. Edlund claim* to have been rewarded at last by discovering gold in paying quantities in Redwood County. At this place, lie say*, he found a true fissure through the quartz which reaches from the surface to an unknown depth.

4* : YIEYY' IN THE SO-CALLED MINNESOTA GOLD REGION.

The gold-producing quartz, Mr. Edlund says, is a twelve-foot vein following (hi* fissure. A shaft ims i>een sunk to a depth of I;>."> feet, at which depth the pay streak has increased to five and one-half inches in breadth. The fissure is filled with bluish clay which is easily pulverized be tween the fingers when dry and which sparkles with tiny bit* of yellow dust which have been washed into it from the adjacent rock. At the depth of Ilia feet the projector* began tunneling in a southwestern direction fidlowing the fissure, which seem* to run parallel with the river. The rock was hoisted to the surface, dumped on a pile now containing thousand* of ton* ready to l>e eruslusl fi r it* store of gold a* soon as everything is iu readiness. A stock company was formed by Mr. Ed lund fi>r working tho vein. Most of it >va* taken in Minneapolis, nnd it i* claimed that the capitalization of $500,(100 has all iic* ii subscribed. Over SIIO,OOO already lias been invested in the plant, ami new machinery is to he added nnd the equipment further completed to an aggregate

huaft-iiousk and dvmp.

cost of SIOO,OOO. The present capacity of the mill is fifteen ton* daily, though work is to bo begun imnu-ilintely on a H*)ton stamp mill. The nuiehiner.v consist* of a crusher, separator, mid atnnlgatn plates, nnd wn* built by a Chiettg cern. The refractory rock is to he roasted for the gold which does not exist in a free state, mid a ton and n half of mercury i* to be the drop in the bucket w hich is to seize upon the yellow metal which is not winnowed out by tin- separator. The mine i* on the south bank of the Minesota River nnd there is a small lake immediately to the south of it. The country in the vicinity is wild-looking nnd rugged. The first discovery wa* made on the hind of u Gentian named Schroeder nnd (he corporation quietly bought up this land and I.(HK» acres in the vicinity, so it has plenty of elbow room. The gold-bearing ledge is said to extend three mile* mid preparation* are being made also by other parties to operate upon it. A force of fifty men is employed at the mine nnd the company say they will gradually increase it. Two buildings have been erected, a stomping mill and n shaft house. The two are twenty rods apart nnd nre to be connected by a tramway line to carry quartz. John Parton, the foreman at the plant, said the other day that besides gold the rock yielded amnll

amount* of silver and platinum nnd thn. special effort* were to Im* made also to extract the latter valuable metal. HUNTING HUMPBACK WHALES. I'.sellliig Mport In Capturing the Moo* stern of the Heep, A* w<* came abreast of n tiny cove or cleft in the cliffs, the harpooner suddenly stiffened with excitement, and he mattered "Blowow-ow" In an undertone. There In that little dock like cleft lay it monster Just awash, a tiny Mpinil of vapor nt her aide showing her to bo accompanied by it calf. Down enme tin* mast and sail* as if by magic. nnd In less than one minute we were puddling strnight In for the cove. The water wns na smooth ns a mirror and tin* silence profound. A few strokes and the order wn* whispered, "Stand up!" to the harpooner, Louis roae, poising hl* iron, ami almost immediately darted. The keen weapon was buried up to tho socket In the broad, glistening side. “Stern all!" was shouted and backward we swiftly glided; but there was no need for retreat. Never a move did she make, save convulsively to clutch the calf to her side with one of her groat wing-like flippers. YVo carefully approached again, the harpooner and officer having changed places, and. Incredible as It may seem, almost wedged the boat in between the whale and the rta’ks. No sheep could have more quietly submitted to slaughter than di<l this mighty monster, whose roll to one side would have crushed our boat t<> flinders, nnd whose death struggle, had it taken place as usual, must. In so confined a corner, have drowned us all. Evidently fearful of Injuring her calf, she quietly (lied and gave no sign, (’aw*-hardened old blubber hunters as we were, we felt deeply ashamed, our deed looked so like a cold-blooded murder. One merciful thrust of a lance ended the calf's misery, and. rapidly cutting through the two lips of our prize, we buckled to our heavy task of towing It to the ship. YY'e were soon Joined by the other boats, but all combined made no great progress, and we had seven hours of heavy labor lM*f<>re we got the carcass home. Securing It alongside, wo went to a hard and wellearned meal and a good night's rest.-— ( Sood YY'ords. To Wash Dishes Properly. To the woman with whom the love of cleanliness and daintiness is inherent the manner in which the ordinary set-

vant washes dishes Is maddening. Gla*s. silver, china, are all crowded, helter-skelter, into a dishpan full of warm water, a cake of soap is next added. and while this swims in the tepid suds, a greasy dishcloth is used to “swab” off each article before it Is removed from the lain and placed on the table to drain. Dishes to lx* cleansed properly should be washed, as it W(*re, in courses. Into a ix*rfectly clean pan of scalding water, to which have been added a few drops of amtnonia. go first the glasses, each one of which must be dried rapidly with a soft linen cloth. Now the washing powder or the soap, inclosed In a shaker, or, lacking this, in a deep cup. goes in tin* pan. and the sliver is washed each piece being nibbed to a polish while still hot. Ixist conies the china, from which the grease must already have been rinsed. As many plates, etc., cool the suds, boiling water must he iHiured In as often as needed. The secret of bright and polished tiible ware is never to allow a dish to drain. Each bit of cnx'kery or metal must be wiped the moment it is drawn from the hot suds. Not one servant In a hundred will follow this rule, unless eonstantJy reminded by tho mistress that She must do so. The price of wellwashed dishes is. like all other dainty housework, the mistress' eternal vlgi* lance.—Harimr's Bazar. She Wanted It Badly. In one of the YY'ashington jewrtiry stores Is a diamond breastpin valued at SI,OOO. A young woman whoso love for ornaments is much greater than her ability to buy them happened to be in this store when the pin was shown to a lady, who did not purchase It. Two or three tlnu*s a week since then tin* girl has gone to obtain a glimpse of the beautiful pin, until site finally made up her mind that she would make an effort to own It, so tin* following colloquy took place, that 1 happened to hour: "How much is that pin?" “A thousand dollars." "YY’eli. I will take It if yon will let me pay for It fit SI a week. I only make $2 a week. I buy everything ol*« that way.” The astonished clerk told her that hf would have to speak to the proprietor, who was out, and the girl promised t< return. —Washington Star. A Johannesburg in Montana. Rich gold discoveries on Harley creek. Mont., caused a great rush of prospectors, ami the new camp hits beet named Johannesburg. The wife of a Massachusetts ministet wears a blue dress on Monday to mate) her husband’s mood.

Z x _l—- — put your trust in princes Is l'nwi*<* In many cases; But It I* worse to tru*t in kings When t'other man has aces. —Y’enowlne's News. Race prejudice 1* all right if it lead* a man to refrain from putting his mon* ryonthe wrong h«rsc.--Yonker* State*man. "Did I understand you to say you were a pugilist?" “Dat’s what." "Manual, oral or callgr:iphic?"—lndianapolis Journal. She—Have you ever loved anybody r*bw*. Harold? He (aisdogcttcally)— YY’eli -you know how It Is yourself.— Somcrvllh* Journal. He—Trtidehen, dear, this kiss tells you all I have to aay. Have you understood me? She—Oh, please, say It nguln. -Deutsche YVarte. She any* she can't afford a cab— Expen*e* she must curb, Yet when she walk* upon the street Her carriage is superb. —New Y’ork Herald. Spencer (vindictively)—l've an old worn to aettie with you. Ferguson (blithely) I know you have. That twenty you owed mo no long.—New York Herald. Mrs. Shoplelgh Js It any trouble to you to show goods? Mr. Cashcall—ma'am. Rut It's a good deal of trouble to noil them, sometimes.—New York Herald. Foreman (through tho s|M*aking tulw»> —YY’here do you want that stuff about Turkey put? Night editor (yelling back> On the Inside, of course.—Chicago Tribune. The glorious charge of the Light Rrt* gade, By Tennyson famously sung. Is nothing to that which my doctor made For taking a look at my tongue. —Y’enowlne's News. Muggins—They tell me Bjonea is a very devoted husband. Buggins—Y’eo, Indeed. YY'hy he actually g<**s to hia own wife’s afternoon teas.—Philadelphia Record. Miss Pert—ls Miss Strait Lace clecunwpect? Miss Caustic—Circumspect? YY'hy, she won't accompany a young man on the piano without a chaperon. —Salem Gazette. Ellse— My dearest Stella! I haven't seen you for four months. How is your Charles? Stella—Oh. my Charles has changed very much since then. His name is now Robert!—Fliegende Biaetter. YY'e nre taught by experience stern That the girl who doth manage t» catch A husband with money to burn I* likely to make u good match. —Philadelphia Record. Mrs. Snaggs— I understand that paper is made o' wood now. Mr. Snaggs —Yes; so is string. “String?’ “Yes; what else do you suppost* cordwood is used for?”—Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-graph. Goodfellow—lf my clothes were not too big for you. I’d give you an old sulL Hungry Hank (gratefully)—Boss, if you'd give mo the price of a square meal, I warrant they'd tit me all right. —Truth. Txt us be thankful when we eat— Though skies be sad and murky— That though wo still love turkey m* nt, YY'e do not live in Turkey. —Atlanta Constitution. Codger—Funny that such a quiet, domestic sort of a ehnp as you should remain a bachelor. Didn't you ever think of marrying? Solus—Yes; perhaps that Is the reason I never married.—Boston Transcript. Strawber—“Dr. Probe has been treating my rheumatism for tho past six months.” Singerly—"Are you any better?” Strawber—“l should say so. When he came with his hili yesterday, I was able to run like a deer.”—Harper's Bazar. Mrs. Prattle (to her visitor)—Have you heard of the splendid catch Miss Swiftly has made? She is engaged to tv nobleman, the baron of—of—(to hoe husband)—What Is he baron of, my dear? Mr. Brattle (who ha* met hlml-* Ideas. Brooklyn Life. Success i* a toboggan slide; It's mighty slippery, brother, Y’ou scnrecly reach one end before Y ou're hustling for the other. —Washington Star. “If 1 give your friend a place,” said the banker, "he will have to give a bond. I suppose you will go on?” "Bond?” exclaimed the other man, "YY'hy, lie can be trusted with uncounted millions." "Yes; but sll the money we have Is counted."—lndianapolis Journal. “Have you anything to say before sentence is pronounced against you?” asked the Judge. “The only thing I'm kickin’ about," answered the convicted burglar, "is bein' Identified by a man that kept his head under the bed clothea the whole time. That’s wrong. '— Judge. “How are all our great landed estate* in England?” usked the American pleasantly. “Yours! exclainied the Englishman. “Certainly." "1 don’t see what chiitn you have to them.” “No? YY’eli, perhaps you can tell me whnt would have become of them If It had not been for the money of our girls.”—Chicago Evening Bost