Decatur Democrat, Volume 50, Number 45, Decatur, Adams County, 10 January 1907 — Page 3

fl J)— I ■■■■ 111 ■ 11l I ■■■■■!. ■( J I The Hunchback I 0 [Copyright, 1906, by Ruby Douglas.] In the year 1865 there landed In LonI don from New Zealand a hunchback | * named George Melville, aged twentyI four. He was not only a hunchback, J but there was a cast In one eye, he was almost bald, and his voice was as harsh as a raven’s. How Melville became possessed of a large sum of money was another matter that was never fully explained. His arrival In London was one of the most brazen things a man ever did. He had a dozen forged letters, and, giving our that he was immensely wealthy, he tinted a large house and installed himstlf and began to mingle in society. He was called “delightfully eccentric,” his gross Ignorance was termed “picturesque,” and inside of a month he had the run of three or four clubs and had been taken up by society. He determined to marry. Perhaps he fell in love, perhaps not At any rate, he selected the daughter of a member of parliament and made love to her so fast that she was swept off her feet and gave him her hand. A certain widow not yet thirty years of age had set her cap for Melville, and when she had made sure that she had lost him she determined on re- * venge. She had a cousin who was an officer in a certain regiment then stationed In England, and she knew he had served in New Zealand. She went to him for Information, and the cat was soon out of the bag. Captain Burton had read and heard of the millionaire hunchback, but owing to illness had not met him. He had never met any one of that name, but when asked ■* to set his memory at work he recalled a certain incident Ten years previous while on a hunting expedition on the Ashley river, on the east coast of New Zealand, he had trouble with a squatter and his son. The latter was a I hunchback and had shot at him. The captain had little idea that the millionaire and the squatter’s son were' one and the same, but he x took bis chances that they were. He 1 threw | himself in the way of the man and at j Once identified hlm. both by his voice and his deformity. Forty years ago New Zealand was a long tvay off * from England. There was no cable, few steamships, and letters took months to go and come. Their idea was to expose the man at once. The captain made up his mind to bluff him down In his own house. He would either compel him to leave London or expose him. The officer did not figure that the hunchback would attempt to strike back, but went almost at once and secured an interview. He was graciously received, and he felt that. ;he had made no mistake in the identlf. flcation. The boy of fifteen who had held a rifle within ten feet of his head, ! finger on the trigger and eyes blazing, | had simply become ten years older and t changed his squatter’s dress for sash- , lonable clothing. There is no doubt that the so called Mellville also recognized the officer. . This the latter had not counted on. He gave not the least sign, however. The captain had plenty of moral courage, and as soon as he could bring it around he boldly charged Mellville with being an impostor. His charges were met with smiles. Instead of being offended, the hunchback said that he was only too glad that the officer had come to him. If there was the slightest 1 doubt in the mind of any one, that doubt must be set at rest. He would welcome the fullest and closest investigation. If Captain Burton would eall at a certain hour next day, a birth certificate. title deeds to lands, letters from prominent people, and so forth and so forth, would be placed before him. The New Zealander would also have present a banker and two prominent merchants to vouch for him in his faroff home. . What we are the most certain of Is the very thing we can be tripped up '’on. Let the man who has lived at 264 Blank street be told that the number is 268 and that the other will bet him 10 to 1 and hecan be bluffed out He is too sure to be sure. The too sure witness is spoiling cases in court every day in the year. The captain was sure and not sure, and the. result was . that he was soon wishing he had not meddled with the case. He had made his charge, however, and must go through with the affair. He was at the house at the appointed hour and there found two respectable looking men who '. were introduced to him as the mer- / chants spoken of. On the table were many papers, and the hunchback explained that the bahßfer was expected every moment. While the four waited it was only natural that the wine should be passed around. All were? J talkative and friendly, and all drank. Then one of the merchants began to talk a out an adventure he had had with the natives of New Zealand. The captain was following him closely iwbea all at once be lost the run of the .. remurks. Then the room began to’ dance around with him. Then wheels began to turn in his head, and he lost » consciousness. z The wine bad been drugged. It wall two days later when the captain aerobe . in the hospital, but it was a full week , before he recovered his speech and'' JtouldHell his story. The drug acted to paralyse bis tongue, and its effects did not pass away for long weeks. The police were put on the trail of the hunch ack. but his house had been closed r.n .l he had disappeared. Four ' weeks later his misshapen body wal washed ashore in the Bristol channel, and it hr. 1 been robbed and the pockets turned i.iside out He had confederates, and when the game was up and he was a fugitive he was probably thrown overboard from some steamer. M. QtJAD.

PaVttlcal speecnes. Some people think, for instance, that political speeches do not matter. Political speeches matter far more than the acts of parliament which they introduce. Men care less even about what is being done than about why it is being done. The spirit in which a thing is effected is of far more practical Importance even than the thing itself. This can be tested by the simple experiment in social life of removing a ' gentleman’s hat for him, first in one spirit, then in the other. If you get rid of all the talk about practical politics (talked by tired men with £IO,OOO a year) and really look impartially at the history of human society you will see , that collisions have arisen far more 'from Insults than from injuries. Some of my imperialist friends, for Instance, tell me that because I think South Africa a nuisance to England therefore I should permit Germany to pluck it from us in war. This is like saying that because I think a top hat ugly and uncomfortable I should let another man knock it off in Piccadilly. No doubt it is uncomfortable. But why should he knock it off? Who is he? I wonder.— G. K. Chesterton in London News. PortnKweue Money, Portuguese money is based on a unit which is worth about the thousandth part of a cent. So if you buy a single postage stamp it costs you about 10,000 milreis. We were shocked at the price of the objects the vendors In Ponto Delgoda desired to sell us. When presented with a bill some of us got heart disease and some of us apoSlexy. Only after long explanations i mingled Spanish, Portuguese, French and English did we learn that a photograph offered at several thousand milreis was worth about 15 cents. In Ihort, it was brought forcibly to our attention how extremely artificial a medium is money, how difficult it is to get, how difficult it is to keep, but also how difficult it is to exchange this interconvertible medium in foreign countries—when you have any. Probably it is even more difficult when you have not—Argonaut. Hospitality. While the reportorial representative of a great news bureau was in San Antonio, Tex., whence he had posted in such haste as to have little luggage, he met with a charming bit of southern hospitality. He had no cuffs, and a local reporter promptly drew off his own and said to the guest within the city gates: “Here, take mine. I’ve more at home.” Later it was learned that the donor of the cuffs worked for the San Antonio Daily Express, and the superintendent of the news bureau upon hearing of the incident immediately wrote to Frank Grice, owner of the Express, in appreciation of an act peculiarly southern in its frank good fellowship. Here is Mr. Grice’s reply: '“lf you can send me the name of the member of the Express staff who offered his cuffs to your man he will be discharged for not offering his shirt as well.”—Chicago Record-Herald. . Sharp, but Not Clever. A London scientist says that life in a metropolis makes young children sharp, but not clever; that it often destroys their chance of ever being clever, for it hastens the development of the brain unnaturally. It makes them superficial, alert, but not observant; excitable, but without one spark of enthusiasm. They are apt to grow blase, fickle, discontented. They see more things than the country bred child, but not such interesting things, and they do not properly see anything, for they have neither the time nor capacity to get at the root of all the bewildering objects that crowd themselves into their little lives. Social Limits. You may tell a man that his necktie cannot be reckoned among his successes, you may point out his errors in regard to investments, you may reproach him for omitting to take advantage of the opportunities he has had for advancement, and he will accept all your criticisms with a reasonable calm, but take gentle exception to the way in which he pronounces a word and the chances are that his next remark la of a heated nature.—London Queen* Took All tfce Re«poß»lblHty. — p “I’m going to give up that new specialist I’ve been trying.” “What's the reason?” “Why, he’s always telling me that I musttry to help myself.” “What did the other man tell you?” “He always told me he was helping me."—Cleveland Plalh Dealer. Where! An English mayor tells this story: “A woman, speaking at a meeting in support of women’s rights, repeatedly asked her audience, ‘Where would men find themselves without women ?’ “A weak voice from the rear of the hall: “Tn paradise, mum!’ ” HU HaoA -- Smith—l hear Jones, the naturalist, had a bad accident. What was it? Brown—Why, somebody gave him a young tiger cub and said it was so tame it would eat off his hand. Smithl —Well? Brown—We«, it did. , Ah —A- — “ Improved. “Does your papa get much practice?" asked the visitor of the doctor’s seven-year-cfld son. i “Oh, he doesn’t have to practice any mdre,” replied the boy. “He knows how now.” Barbery. Medical Student—What did you operate on that man for? 'Eminent Surgeon—Five hundred do! < lars. < “I mean what dM he haver “Five hunflrea dollars.”-Puck. 1 • • - - ns. i

9 The O’Donohue A [Original.] From the time that Dermot, one of the early kings of Ireland, invited the English to come and assist him in his struggles with his Irish foes, thus givI Ing the Britons a foothold in Ireland, ' the Irish people were in a constant state of rebellion. One rising after another took place, only to be suppressed in the end, when the leader or leaders were, if apprehended, executed. The counties into which Ireland is divided were each in those days ruled by its sovereign, whose name was preceded by the letter “O.” From these sprang the O’Neills, the O’Gradys, the O’Connells and others. It was during the reign of the protector, Oliver Cromwell, that Thomas O’Donohue, a young patriot, wooed and won Aileen Mavourneen, one of those Irish girls celebrated for their fair complexions, their blue eyes and their musical voices. O’Donohue’s father, a ruler, had been beheaded during the reign of Charles I. At the time of his father’s death Thomas was but seven years old. He then vowed that when he grew to manhood he would devote his life to driving out the English. So revered was the name of the father that when the son came of age and succeeded to his great landed estates bis people, who were grievously oppressed, looked to him to do something for them. The nuptials between Thomas O’Donohue and Aileen Mavourneen had scarcely been celebrated before the young husband, joining forces with a neighboring ruler, headed a rebellion against the English. At first he was successful, but owing to the treachery of his colleague, who made peace with the common enemy and turned against him, O’Donohue was defeated. Fleeing with a few followers, he lived a wretched life, hiding in bog or forest, and was at last captured in a starving condition. He was tried and sentenced to be beheaded. At first his young wife seemed about to break down under the tragedy to be enacted, but soon rallied and with remarkable concentration of a suddenly developed energy laid plans for her husband’s rescue. She thought out a method of getting him out of his jail and induced some of his faithful adherents to have a ship ready on the coast to take him to France in case her ruse was successful. She sought permission of the conqueror to spend a short time with the condemned man in his cell on the night preceding his execution. Captivated by her youth, her beauty and her tears, he consented. On the evening in question she appeared at the prison door attended by her sister Kathleen. The two women entered O’Donohue’s cell and were left alone with him. They remained half an hour. When they emerged Kathleen almost carried her sister, who appeared to be convulsed with grief, her face resting on Kathleen’s Shoulder. The jailers stood about pitying the young wife who had bid farewell to her husband, leaving him to the dread ordeal of the morning. The two women entered a “chair" and were carried away. Coming to a wood, the door of the chair, flew open, and a man, throwing off woman’s apparel, sprang out. Another stepped from the wood leading a horse, which O’Donohue—for it was he —mounted and, with a : wave of his hand to those he left, dashed away into the forest. At the usual hour for visiting the prisoner to see that all was well for the night the keeper went to his cell. He found O’Donohue kneeling by his cot, his face buried in it Touched by the sight as well as the sad visit that had so lately occurred, the jailer asked in a kindly tone: “Is there anything I can do for your comfort?” O’Donohue did not reply. Then the jailer was struck with the diminutive size of the prisoner. “Speak, man,” be said sharply. “Is there anything I can do for you?* “Nothing,” came the reply in a voice which was manifestly disguised and which, notwithstanding an effort to make it sound like a man’s, was evidently a woman’s. Like a flash the Jailer unlocked the cell, entered and. seizing the prisoner, pulled him up and looked into his face. He saw Aileen O’Donohue. He started to leave the cell to give the alarm when Aileen attempted with her delicate bands to hold him, but he broke away, and soon horsemen were dashing in every direction to recapture the escaped prisoner. The difficulty In the way of the prisoner coming out of jail by personating his wife had been that he was much taller than she. To reduce his height be sank upon Kathleen in order that by drawing up his knees under his skirts his real height might not appear, and he buried his face upon her shorn 'er that his features might not be se: :i. O’Dono!;i.e. who knew every road, forest and l og in Ireland and who hsd been provided with the best horse that could be found, took a course that enabled him to baffle his pursuers and, reaching the coast, embarked for France, where he arrived in due time. Cromwell, dreading lest he should return to Ireland later on and inaugurate ! another rebellion, sent Aileen to him with an offer of a pardon and restoration of his estates provided be would , swear allegiance to the English sov- ' ereign. O’Donohue accepted the con- 1 ditions and. returning to Ireland, lived i happily with the wife who had saved < his life. MARTHA E. DUGAN 1 t

A Lessoa la Japanese Coarteay. 1 I remember many years ago a dinner at the palace—a great official dinner— ' where among the guests were many cf the old leaders of rebellions, old up- ' holders of the shogunate. The last shogun himself, Prince Tokugawa, proud, silent, grim, sat opposite to me, and I wondered if any human emotion could show itself on that impassive face. At that moment the emperor raised his glass and bowed in kindly smiling fashion to his ancient opponent. The face changed, was suffused for one illuminating moment with a glow of responsive fire. It seemed as if the emperor was once more thanking the shogun for his splendid patriotic act when after years of struggle he voluntarily laid his power and his prerogatives at the emperor’s feet “for the good of the country.” and as if Prince Tokugawa, looking back—and looking forward—for Japan, said to himself once more, “It was well done.” — Mary C. Fraser in World’s Work. Figures That Stagger. It used to be that astronomy, with its stupendous magnitudes, incredible velocities and inconceivable distances, seemed to make the greatest demand on man’s belief, says the London Telegraph. Today it is physics. We read, for instance, that Hertz’s oscillations give rise to 500,000,000 oscillations per second. Where is the man who can conceive of anything happening in the five-hundred-millionth part of a second? But this is quite a long period compared to some of those now accepted as Inevitable optics. According' to Maxwell’s great theory, a light wave is a series of alternating electric currents flowing In air or interplanetary space and changing their direction 1,000,000,000,000,000 times per second. And this is supposed to be true of every form of light coming from the sun. the electric lamp or a lucifer match. Who can think of anything happening in the thousand-million-millionth part of a second? Landseer's Valet. Sir Edwin Landseer, the famous animal painter, had an old servant—his butler, valet and faithful slavenamed William, who was particularly assiduous in guarding the outer portal. No one could by any possibility gain direct access to Sir Edwin. The answer would invariably be, “Sir Hedwin is not at ’ome.” The prince consort himself once received this answer when he called, amplified on that occasion by the assurance that “he had gone to a wedding,” an entire fiction on William’s part, as the prince found out, for on walking boldly in and round the garden he noticed Sir Edwin looking out of his studio window. This was the faithful attendant who one day, when a Hon had died at the “zoo” and his corpse came up in a four wheeled cab to be painted from, startled his master with the question, “Please, Sir Hedwln, did you border a lion?” Thatched Roofa In England. “The thatched roof, which makes the English cottage picturesque, is doomed," said an architect “For some years it has been going gradually. Soon It will be altogether a thing of the past Fire insurance is the cause of the thatched roofs disappearance. No company will insure a cottage or its contents if the roof is thatched. They who want insurance must substitute for the roof of thatch a tiled one. As long as the English cottager remains very poor so that his house and furniture are not worth insuring he keeps a thatched roof over his head. As soon as he begins to prosper and lays in household goods of value he takes out a fire policy and away then goes his thatched roof.” — Louisville Courier-Journal. Hl» Style of Hitting. “And. now. Mrs. Sullivan,” said the counsel, “will you be kind enough to. tell the jury whether your husband was in the habit of striking you with impunity?*' “With what, sor?” queried Mrs. Sullivan. “With impunity,” repeated the counsel. “Well, he was, sor, now and thin, (but he struck me oftener wld his fisht «or.” —— —1— i— . - I--I- i . Hla Remark. “I won’t do any more work for that ■nan Hopkins.” “Why?” “Well, he passed some remark I did not like.” •“Did he? What was it?” “He said. ‘Brown, you won’t be wanted after this week.’ ” Constant Advice. “A woman should always depend on her husband for advice,” said the devoted wife. “Yes,” answered the visitor, “but it , does grow monotonous not to get any advice except to economize.”—Wash- f ington Star. i ■ ..... J Lost Youth. | A man looks back with regret, but ( without bitterness, to his lost youth; a j woman, however vehemently she may protest to the contrary, seldom if ever E attains to this same calm serenity*.— Gentleman’s Magazine. ' —— t Fictitious. Angel Child—Aunt Daisy, what is a meant by “a fictitious character?” * Aunt Daisy—That means one that is f made up. dear. Angel Child—Oh, yes! * Then you’re a fictitious character, j aren’t you. auntie? Learn to be pleased with everything n —with wealth, so far as ft makes us n beneficial to others; with poverty, for not having much to care for. and with 0 obscurity, for being unenvied. — Pin- a tan*.

Ip’ - o Miss Lavalette i —c [Original.] A wwman never forgets a lover; a man may forget the woman he has loved. During the civil war Lieutenant Lawrence Nolan, aid-de-camp to a general of brigade, encamped in Virginia on the grounds of a manor house belonging to a family named Lavalette. The owner of the plantation and his sons were with the Confederate army, but his wife and. daughter, Rosalind, were at home. The women, though their hearts were with the southern cause and especially with the father and his sons at the front had the good sense to treat the Union officers who came to the house courteously. By this means they insured protection for themselves and their property. The command to which Nolan was attached remained in camp on the Lavalette plantation for several months, and, among other officers, he was a frequent visitor at the manor house. Love, which knows no barrier, ignored the fact that Rosalind Lavalette was a rebel and Lawrence Nolan an invader of the homes of herself and the southern people. It was in the sweet summer time, and life had in it for the young people far more of zest than either had known before. The ring of the bugle and the beat of the drum were heard in the land, uniformed men were coming and going, the air was laden with 1 strains from military bands, while occasionally there came from a distance the booming of cannon. Amid all this the young officer, snatching occasional moments, when off duty, pleaded his cause. Nothing but principle stood in the way of a favorable reply. The girl could not bear to give herself to an enemy of her country. When the brigade moved, Nolan had only time to ride to the manor house and bid adieu to the girl he loved. Cutting a button from his sleeve, he gave it to her as a souvenir and told her to keep it till he should call for it. “When peace comes,” he said, “I will come to ask again for the word I would be so glad to hear now. Till then goodby.” He asked for a parting kiss, but she refused him. “How could I look my dear father in the face,” she said, “when he returns if I had been kissed by a Yankee?” Nolan sighed and, mounting, rode away. When the Union army left the Lavalette plantation the place at once sank into its accustomed quiescence. There Was nothing but the waving trees, the hum of Insects, the songs of birds. Not again did any part of either the Union or Confederate armies visit it Rosalind Lavalette spent her time comforting her mother for a son and brother who bad been killed in a skirmish with the brigade that had been encamped on the plantation. Lawrence Nolan gave the order in the name of his general to send the body to the mother and sister, and. though he believed that his heart would remain forever where he bad bestowed it, be gave up all hope that Rosalind would ever be his wife. When peace came several years later the episode on the Lavalette plants' tion had become a pleasant dream to Nolan. He was even then but twentytwo, and his impressions were the evanescent impressions of youth. He had had several other later affairs during the war, and these had tended to wear tapon the effect of the first. He left the army and began the study of a profession. Occasionally he would be seized with a desire to go south and seek Miss Lavalette, but he feared that if she would not listen to his suit before his corps had killed her brother she would not listen to him after that distressing event He had not the nerve to ask the hand of one whose hospitality had been thus repaid. He must study his profession for several years and even after acquiring It must wait patiently for an income. And so the matter of his first love gradually slipped away from him. Forty years passed. Nolan, who had become prominent in bis profession, was elected to congress. One evening soon after his arrival at the capital he was introduced to a white haired woman of refined appearance and with a southern accent

“We have met before,” she said. “When? Where?” “During the civil war, in the south.” Nolan looked at her inquiringly. “That was a long while ago.” he said. “Indeed it was. but I have remembered you. long though it is.” “You can’t be the girl who nursed me when I was wounded ?” “No. You were perfectly well , when I knew you.” “Nor the girl I met at Richmond at the close of the war—the one over whose home I stood guard one night?” “Nor that one either. You gave me a keepsake at porting. I have it yet.” “Oh, I know you. 1 remember well that evening in your garden.at Charleston when I gave you a rose and you laid you would keep it as long as you lived.” The lady smiled. It was a very sad smile. “Guess again.” “I give It up.” said Nolan, seeing that he was continually getting deeper into the mire. The lady moved some lace about her neck and showed an army button that formed the head of a stickpin. “Do you remember giving me that button F’ Two men approached. •‘Miss Lavalette.” said a voice, “permit me to introduce my friend. Colonel R.” | "Lavalette?” mused Nolan, moving on, with a troubled brow. “Who the 1 leuce was Miss Lavalette?” F. A MITCHEL.

A Fire la Rome. A lawyer who visited Rome tolls how the fire department grappled with a blaze in the Eternal City. He says: “The fire was in what we would call a grocer} store. It seemed a long time before the fire department responded, tut after awhile I saw a hose wagon dash around the corner, with a number of firemen standing on the running boards on each side. The wagon stopped at a hydrant, and each fireman jumped from the wagon with a little ro. I of hose. The first man coupled his to the hydrant, and then each man coupled his section to the preceding section. Finally they bad water on the fire, and after another long period a man with a plumed hat drove up in a victoria. He was the chief. The captain of the company and the chief saluted with much ceremony, then shook hands and then held a long and dignified conversation. Finally, I suppose, the captain told the chief the grocery was on fire, and the chief acknowledged it was and complimented him on his perspicuity. Oh, yes, they finally put the fire out, and Rome still stands!” Difficult Haymaking. One of the most curious sights that one notices in the agricultural parts of Norway is the peculiar way of drying out the hay. On account of the extreme dampness the grass rots if left on the ground after it is mowed. Wooden drying fences that stretch for hundreds of yards across the fields are built, and every night the hay is hung out to dry, like the family wash. The sun helps along in the daytime, but it is only a half hearted help, and in the neighborhood of Bergen, where it la said to rain 364 days out of the year, the hay is almost always “on the fence.” In the lake districts, where the hilly country makes means of transportation very difficult, a heavy copper wire is stretched from the top of a mountain to the village in the valley below. Down this huge masses of hay are sent sailing through the air, sometimes whizzing dangerously near the unwary tourist’s head. — New York Tribune. Yea, We Are Restless. “We are a restless people,” observes the Sedgwick (Kan.) Pantagraph. “Every thin woman longs to be fat Every fat woman wants to grow thin. Every town man longs for the time when he can retire to the quiet of the country, and every farmer hopes to some day quit work and move to town, where he can take life easy. Country newspaper men would like to try their hand on a city daily. The fellows on the big dailies dream of a time when they can own a paper of their own. In youth we long for maturity. In age we yearn for the happy days of childhood. There is no excuse for it other than that we all seem to be built that way. The grass seems to be just a little bit greener and. thriftier most any direction from the place you occupy light now. Contentment is as near to happiness as you can get in this world.” Boy Was a Good Listener. ' The Smiths were not overcautious 1 tn discussing. neighbors’ faults in the presence of their little son. A van one day backed up to the curb, and, much to Mrs. Sinitfr'wriisgu&t, -her boy Tommy assisted an objectionable neighbor to move. The little 'feilouf' worked hard and made himself very useful. When the last wagonload had been hauled away and the doors of the vacant house locked Tommy returned hopjp, tired and disgusted., His moth? er could not reconcile the. boy’s early,. with his present dejection, and she asked him what was the matter. ■ : “I worked and watched around ttte' house all day,” whined the tired little, fellow, “but I didn’t see them takeany skeletons out of the New York Times. - « ———Wi Feminine Study of Man. Man is when all is said a vastly lovable being and even his faults—indeed, chiefly his faults—have a most unholy attraction for us. But man the conquered is a very different creature from man the conqueror. The first is always tea dy and longing to afford useverything in the world we desire—ready ( to kqil hjs immortal soul for our pleasures. The second grudges us a* kind word.—A Spinster in M. AP. ,5

-• ■ - Conkling* x Invective. ! Roscoe Conkling. like John J. In- • galls, was a master at invective. Conkling, it is said, once upon a ti’ ~4n> • summing up to a jury thus attempted to belittle the testimony of a rummy 1 faced, knobby nosed witness for the' opposition: “Methinks, gentlemen, I 1 can see that witness now, his mouth stretching across the wide desolation of his face, a sepulcher of rum and a fountain of falsehood!” Two of a Kind. A man waiting for a street car asked a gentleman standing by, “It are time for the street car, ain’t it, or have -ary one went out in the last few minutes?” The answer is said to have been, “If any have, went I haven’t saw it,”—. Greensboro (N. C.) Record. S t Escaped Her Too. Man (greeting lady acquaint* ance) —I remember your face perfectly,, miss, but your name has escaped me.. The Young Woman—l don’t wonder.. It escaped me three ago. I ami 1 married now. The Galtle'a Metumre. “Things have come to a pretty pass,’’ remarked the guide as he led Algernon | and Percy into the Yosemite valley.— Lampoon. — — l “ I “Banter” is a word whose origin n®. scholar can trace. # - - I t - — — - - ——