Decatur Democrat, Volume 36, Number 31, Decatur, Adams County, 21 October 1892 — Page 2

®he Jlcmorrat DECATUR, INO. g. MLACIBUBN, • - • PTTBUnm*. 4/ \; /Aj w For President. GROVER CLEVELAND, 0» NEW TORE. For Vico President* ADLAI E. STEVENSON, 41 OF ILLINOIS. Mr. Cleveland ip the process of boiling his letter appears to have incidentally scalded several Republican editors. _______________ A man can't grow a good crop of chin whiskers now without a Republican declaring that it was due to the McKinley bill. In order to be thoroughly efficacious, Mr- McKinley ought to go to England and develop there his plan for raising the wages of English workmen. Indiana is lost to Harrison. The whole West is in doubt, and he can’t carry New York. This is a bad year for Quay, Dudley, Platt, and the rest of the Placated. Appeal-Avalanche: The platform of the People’s party is that the country is going to the deuce. It is hardly necessary to add that the People's party is going there too. “Nearly the entire cost of every fabricated article, whether useful or ornamental, is labor cost,” says Mr. Ammonia Hartshorn. Why, then, don’t the protected manufacturers raise the wages of their workmen? Four years ago Vermont gave Harrison 29,000 majority. The majority for Governor in last week’s election is less than 19,000, which is much the smallest majority ever given in a Presidential year since the Republican party was organized. Harrison is holding on to Raum, who is discredited, and to John W. Foster, who, discredited himself, has also discredited the Attorney General. And he is holding on because he can't let go of them. But he will soon get help from the people—more than he wants of it. No honorable soldier regrets that Mr. Cleveland vetoed fraudulent pension bil& To say that Mr. Harrison vetoes no pension bills is to charge him with participation in fraud. What veteran wants to be placed on a level with bounty jumpers and de-/ serters, and men who never smelt powder? Not so very long ago Mr. Harrison met the Democrats’ proposition to reduce tariff taxation and cheapen prices witn the sneer that “a cheap coat makes a cheap man.” He now claims that the great object of the Republican tariff policy was to cheap- . en prices. Evidently the President has added not only a cheap coat but a turn-coat to his wardrobe.

The announcement that Judge Gresham will vote for Cleveland will be worth many votes to the Democrats, especially in- Indiana. Judge Gresham is a min whose purity of life and sincerity of convictions have given him a national influence. His sympathies are all with the people, and it is natural that he should join the party of the people, abandoning a party which has now come to look upon the people as its legitimate prey. The Grand Old Party is Just now waging a Salvation Army crusade against the “gerrymanders” in New York and Indiana. It is not making any efforts, however, to overthrow the gerrymanders in States like Ohio and Maine. In Maine the gerrymander is so unfair that while the Republicans have lost a third of their plurality in the State they have increased their numbers in the Legisla- I tur.e. Indeed, It is estimated that the Democrats could carry .Maine by 30,000 majority and yet fail to carry •the Legislature. 1 Chicago Herald: The proper ■ comment to make upon Judge Gresh-' am’s action'is' not, to speculate as to its probable effect upon Democratic chances in the coming election. It is rather to call attention in the most emphatic way to the fact that he leaves the Republican party because that party as at present constituted and managed has become an actual menace,to the rights and liberties of the people. Its leaders hesitate at nothing that is corrupt Its success means tffe further promotion of boodlers and scoundrels to exalted public station. Its platform favors the robbery of all the people for the enrichment of the privileged classes. In view of these conditions, what else could Judge Gresham, as an

honorable man, do except turn bls back upon tho Republican party? The National Association of Democratic Clubs has done most effective work for party success, and Democrats ought to give it their active cooperation everywhere. There should be in every election district a Democratic club to co-operate with the League as well as with the local committee. League clubs and -local clubs ought to work together under the League’s plans of thorough organisation .and complete knowledge of tho politics of eVery neighborhood. The Republicans have been industriously spreading the report that State Statistician Peelle, of Indiana, had issued a report showing that Indiana workingmen have been receiving higher wages since the passage of the McKinley bill. Mr. Peelle now announces that he has made no such report; that he will make no report until next January, and that he has no data upon which to base such a report, as no report of wages received before the passage of the McKinley bill has ever been made to his office. Not having the data, he refuses to do what Peck did—evolve them from the depths of his consciousness. The American Economist which has gained for itself an enviable reputation as oae of the most reliable tariff liars in the country, publishes a picture this week of a dozen bottles of beer, in a basket with the following inscription beneath: “Taxed 60 cents per dozen. Price 60 cents per dozen.” Os course this is a lie. Bottled beer to the consumer usually costs 15 cents a bottle, and if purchased by the dozen cannot be obtained for less than 10 cents a bottle with the bottle returned. Every beer-drinker in Memphis knows that he could not buy a dozen bottles of beer, and keep the bottles for 5 cents a bottle. Courier-Journal: The results of the late elections in Georgia and Florida are better than the most sanguine Democrats had expected. With majorities in each State double what had been counted on, .they are, indeed, all that could be desired, and leave no longer a doubt that the South will stand true to the Democracy in the coming national election. The people have spoken with such emphasis that this verdict will be accepted as conclusive. It settles the question of a solid South. It will demoralize the Weaver party in that section, and recall wavering Democrats to their duty. It proves that the Southern people understand the situation; that they have not been blinded to their real, interests by the agitators of an impossible third party; that they realize that the Democracy is their only hope for the relief they so much need, and their only barrier against a party which by /disfranchising them would deprive them of all power to aid in securing that relief. The effect of these elections will be most beneficial to the party everywhere. It will give new courage and confidence to the Democracy in the East and West, and will add new inspiration to the gallant fight it is making for Cleveland and Stevenson. The tide in the South, as in the North, seems to be with us. If the Southern elections do not mean that, then there is meaning in nothing.

Chicago Times: The third-party movement has run its course. The outcome of the State election in Georgia demonstrates that the electors of the country, wiser than would-be leaders-,- understand precisely where the fight lies. The populists are opposed to John Shermatf's management of the finances of . the country. John Sherman stands ! for Republicanism. The populists are opposed to the plutocratic tendencies and achievements of the Republican party. The populists are opposed to corruption at the ballot box; to that abuse of the electoral system which gave, in 1876, the electoral vote of Florida to Hayes, when the people of the State had voted for Tilden; to that corruption which Dudley practiced when he wrote his “blocks-of-flve" circular, and which a judicial favorite of President Harrison, advanced since then to higher place, showed when he sought to protect Dudley from condign punishment. The populists are opposed to the high taxation of the people, which McKinlcyism. otherwise Republicanism, has foisted upon this nation. Their thought and hope was directly and positively to secure the election of their own nominees. Herein they did not take the true measure of the. popular sentiment. If Republicanism is to be overthrown the agent of its downfall will be the Democratic party. It must be necessarily, It is the only possible agent for carrying out the ideas which the populists in common with the Democracy uphold when they arraign Republicanism. There are practically but two candidates and two parties in this contest. The elector who isg against Cleveland is for Harrison, though he may not vote for the Re publican His vote for Weaver is aid and comfort to Republicanism.

TIIEPHESENTCAMI’AIGN A PROCESSION OF O. O. P. DISAPPOINTMENTS. < HI 11,1 | 111 One by One the Winged Lice Hnve Felten Before the Bemooretlo HunUincn —Republicans Arc Now Occupying Their Last Redoubt. Flight of the Roorback,. The Republican campaign lins up to date been a procession of disappointments to the party. Every move made by the Republicans lias been promptly met by tho alert and mulling Democrats. When Congress was about to adjourn tho Republicans immediately tflade the charge that the Democratic House had failed to cut down expenses, and that the Fifty-second Congress would also be a billion dollar affair. The Democrats prbmptly .showed that nearly eighty millions of tho appropriations of this Congress were a legacy from the previous Republican Congress, which could not be eliminated, and that had it not been for the Democratic House the appropriations would have been forty or fifty millions more. Thus was campaign lie number one nailed. Then itwus claimed that tho McKinley bill had lowered prices and raised wages, but Senahw Carlisle showed that in the principal pnjtected industries wages had been dechqased while in the principal unprotected industries wages had been increase/ The claim that the McKinley bill had lowered prices became embarrassing from tho fact that the Republicans were trying to convince tho farmers that they were getting more for their products, and to satisfy the general consumer that he was paying less for these same products. Obviously this was an impossible undertaking, and so the conflicting untruths killqcj each other. Campaign lie No. 2, therefore, came to a bad end. Mr. Harrison and Mr. Blaine both told us that reciprocity had opened up new markets for the United ' States. We do

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not like to speak of these eminent gentlemen as circulating a campaign lie, but it haS assumed the exact counterfeit of one, and must be treated as such; for the Statistical Abstract issued from the office of Secretary Charles Foster shows that while in 1891 under reciproc- - ity we exported not quite a million dollars more of our products to the South American countries and islands, we imported from them fully $30,000,000 more of their products than we did In 1890. Thus reciprocity has made the United a splendid market for Brazil, .Cuba and other countries. And so perished campaign lie No. 3. The next charge was that the Democratic party 'had come out for the first time unequivocally for Free Trade, that they proposed to burn up the custom houses and perpetrate other heinous offenses against the holy tariff. A reference to tho Republican Campaign documents and newspapers of four years ago shows that exactly the same untruth was circulated then, and so the Republicans have done the Democrats the favor of .taking all the scare off the free-trade scare, as the results in Maine and Vermont show. Campaign lie No 4, therefore, came to a natural death in Vermont, and the body was interred in ■Maine. Then came the wholesale ac-’ cusation that the negroes in Mississippi, Arkansas, and other States had been disfranchised by the new ballot Jaws, coupled with the suggestion that the Congressional representation of those States should be cut down. The vote of Arkansas proved, however, to be up to high-water mark, showing that the illiterates of that State were not so sensitive as those of Maine and other Republican States. But we have called the attention of those Republican papers that were crying for a reduction or representation in Mississippi, not only to be the fact that Massachusetts and other Northern States had property qualifications, but to the,fact that under the secret ballot laws, some 18,00 u voters had been “disfranchised” in Maine, 10,000 in Vermont, and 76,000 in the President’s own State of Indiana; and, strange to say, there has been no talk of a reduction of representatives in any of- these States. Campaign He No. sis therefore in a dying condition, and Dr. Tom Carter can give no hopes. The Republican party is now occupying its last redoubt. “Harrison has given us a safe administration, and it w,ll never do to disturb the business of the country by a change of administration and a modification of thetariff.” So say the desperate advocates of Plutocracy; but it will not avail them. The business stability of the United States has been not to depend on the election of a Republican president; and, as a matter of fact, there has never been so much distress among the working people of the country as during this administration. The farmers of the South are grasping at every straw for relief. The farmers of the West have repudiated the high protection party, and they, too, are borne down by burdens which make the talk about prosperity a mockery to their hearts. The Republican party has for years lied the party of the plain people —the Democracy—outof their heritage. The people have been tricked and cheated until their eyes are opened, and there is good ground for believing that the efficacy of Republican falsehood has lost all its virility. One by one the winged lies have fallen before the Democratic huntsmen, and the hunt is nearly over.—Appeal-Avalanche.

More Flgger* Ordered. The very interesting announcement is made that the i epublicans have hit upon a better plan to secure statistics than through the Commissioners of various States. They have giv> n an order, It seems, to Census Sup< rlntendent Porter for a wholesale job lot of Aggers showing that wages have been raised In one hundred cities of the country. This looks like business. Instead of

bothering with a statistician here and another there, they determined to gc straight to headquarters for Republican flgij'rs, and the National Committee placed with the Census Superintendent tho order for the required reports. There is no disputing the wisdom ot this course. As a purveyor of Republican statistics, the Ueusus Superintendent, has no superior, and the Hepnblioun National Committee can rest assured that its large order will be promptly and carefully filled. The Georgia Election. Several State elections have been hold since June 21, when tho Democratic party nominated Grover Cleveland for President,Of the United States. These elections have occurred at different times. In every instance the Democrats have gained. These States wore remote from each other—Maine and Florida, Vermont and Arkansas, And now comes Georgia with a Democratic majority of about 70,000. The Popuiltes declared at Omaha that they would carry the State of Ben Hill and Alexander Stephens. It was in that State where it was supposed the Ocala doctrines had taken the firmest root. It was in that State where the Populites had been most aggressive. But the result of the election shows Georgia had not been affected In the slightest degree by the assault. Her Democrats are true to the old banner, and they have grandly demonstrated their unswerving fealty to the party of Thomas Jefferson. The stars in their courses are fighting for the Democracy, and vic- - tory is in the air. Tho people have turned to Grover Cleveland as the man to lead them out ot the distresses brought upon them by the maladministration of the Republican party during tho last thirty years. They will not bo content with the specious promises and unsubstantial droau.s of tho third party. They are demanding a restoration of the government to the Jeffersonian basis, and they look to the Democratic party and its leaders to abolish class legislation. The news from Georgia

will inspire confidence among Democrats throughout the Union. The supreme test of the power of the third party was made in Georgia, and the blow struck by the Georgia Democrats has been a finishing stroke. It will not recover. The exposure of the numerical weakness of the party has been complete. —Appeal-Avalanche. They Are on Hie Kun. The voters of the United States are not overkoking the straws which infallibly fix the direction of the political breeze. Republican flock-gatherers are endeavoring to repudiate the force bill issue, and Secretary Elkins has gone so far in his West Virginia campaign as to denounce it as an infamous measure, such as his party would never seek to make a part of our national legislation. That these declarations are made for campaign purposes only, and to sooththe alarm of those who foresee the practical workings of such an enormity, is apparent to all who read and observe. The one hope of perpetuating the Republican party in power is for it to secure absolute control of the election machinery throughout the country. The New York Tribune recognized what the party hoped to secure through the force bill by saying that in it were four McKinley bills. On the tariff question the Republicans fear and refuse a joint discussion between men ably repres nting the respective views of the two parties, even the patron saint of high protection failing to enter the lists, though challenged by men who are more than worthy of his steel. The tools of monopolistic interests are content to place their misrepresentations before the people in the most plausible manner, and, if possible, lead them to the indorsement of a tariff system which is constantly reducing the number of those who control the capital and the vast resources 9of this country, while poverty or reduced income and privileges is the inevitable fate of ail others. These professed friends of the laboring classes, who include nearly all members of great trusts, corporations, and monopolies, have drawn upon the absurdly false rqport of Commissioner Peck, of New York, and sought to make political capital of evidence so unwarranted that it was burned to avoid an exposure of its rottenness. They have signally failed to establish a claim that wage earners have fared better in Massachusetts than before the McKinley bill was enacted, and in pettifogging a hopeless ease are only injuring their own cause.

In house of the silver States, notably Colorado, Hepubliean stump orators, whose sole mission Is to secure votes for Harrbon, regardless of methods, are proclaiming his fealty to the cause of tree silver. Ex-Senator Thomas M. Bowen so proclaimed in his speech at ..(’reed.., and guaranteed the correctness of his statement to his thousands of listeners. Mu. h else might be truthfully said to show that the Republican party has degenerated to an organized hypocrisy. It has outlived the days of ..Its usefulness, and it is not only on the defensive but on the run. . Some Cleveland Utterances. The world has not produced so grand a spectacle as a nation of freedom -determining its own cause. Wo seek to win a victory which shall redeem the pledges we have made to regard constantly the interests of the people of the land. , We have now on hand all thpjSilver dollars necessary to supply the present I needs of the people, and to satisfy those who from sentiment wish to see them In circulation. This reflection lends to the bestowal of pensions a kind of sacredness whi h invites the adoption of such principles and regulations as will exclude perversions as well as Insure a liberal and

generous application of grateful and benevolent des.gns. A party shoutd at all timea, and in all places, be made to feel the consequences of their misdeeds us long as they have remaining any power for 1 arm, and as long as they justify and defend their wrong-doing. I am convinced that our duty to those who have trusted us consists in pushing on, continuously and vigorously, the prlncip es in the advocacy of which we have tnumphed, and thus superseding nil that is ignoble and unworthy. With a party uniled and zealous; with no avoidance of any legitimate issue; with a refu-al to bo diverted from the consideration of great national and State questions to the discussion of misleading things, and with such a | tenon tat ion of the issuer Involved as will prove our faith in the Intelligence of the people, the result cannot bo doubted. Judge Gresham** Value. Democrats can afford to exchange General Sickles for Judge Gresham.— Toledo Bee. The action of Judge Gresham takes Indiana out of the list of doubtful States. There Is not the lenst question about that. —Evansville Courier. “I shall vote for Mr. Cleveland, and that is all there is about it," says Judge Gresham. Well, there is a good deal about that.—Louisville Times. When life-long Republicans like Judge Gresham, Judge Coo ey and General MacVeagh bolt their party’s ticket there is something decidedly wrong with that ticket. —Wheel.ng Register. The accession of Judge Gresham, Judge Cooley and ex-Attorney General MacVeagh to the ranks of Democracy is likely to cause a panic among tho Republican managers.— St. Lonis PostDispateh. • It is safe to say that it means more than the transfer of a few doubtful Western States to tho Cleveland column. Judge Gresham has a very large following both iu the Republican and

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People’s parties.—Philadelphia Record. His example will be followed by all who, like him, have respect for their convictions and strength of character to assart themselves.—lllinois State Register. The number of voters who will follow his lead will bo even larger than would have been the case if he had yielded to the blandishments of the third party. — Buffalo Inquirer. L __ To him as to great multitudes of people, the truth is no longer disguisablo that the McKinley bill was parsed for the benefit of a comparatively few persons.—Brooklyn Citizen. IT carries consternation into the enemy’s camp. It defeats the last ray of hope of carrying Indiana for Harrison. It makes the State of Illinois doubly doubtful.—Utica Observer. We know of no man whose defection would injure the Republican party in the West more than Judge Gresham’s. He is a man of the highest character.— Macon Telegraph. The accession of Judge Gresham will go far toward breaking the backbone of the Harrison ticket in Indiana, Illinois and other Western States where ho is most popular and has been commanding influence.—Rochester Union. Comments on the Letter. In his letter of acceptance Mr. Cleveland strongly urges the Dorr.ccnrtic tenet that government cannot rightly take away the property of its citizens for the purpose of redistributing it. — St. Louis Republic. Mb. Cleveland points out the foolishness of the opposition in seeking to create the belief that the Democratic party is plotting the Injury and destruction of i American industries.—Buffalo Inquirer. Mr. Cleveland places himself in opposition to all sumptuary legislation, and on the school question takes a position that will meet the approval of all fair-minded men. —Dubuque Herald. Cleveland stands upon the merits of his position, and appeals to the common sense of his countrymen to justify the correctness of the Democratic policy.—Burlington Gazette. A cabefttl reading of the document will show that every phase, every sentence, every word has been studied and its full significance weighed.—Grand Rapids Democrat. The letter makes no compromise on the money question. It insists upon an honest dollar, of stable value and uniform purchasing power.—..ansas City Star. He dodges no issu». He conceals no opinions. 'J here is nothing held back. “On all the great questions of the hour he is frankness itself.—Louisville Post. Most assuredly the letter from Gray Gables is the best o campaign documents for the cause of tariff reform and honest government. —Boston Globo. He is guided by the rule, “at all times and in all places, wo trust the people." —Utica Herald. Harrison’s letter was longer, but in quality It was as ba swood to mahogany. —Detroit Free Press. Grover Cleveland is hfe own platform. —Wheeling Register.

A Big, Big “11.” Harbison— lt’s mine If 1 can carry It, - ■ New York Herald.

SLOW GROWTH OF THE OAK. ‘ - Hlxty Y<»ihm Ohl lleltoiw <hx»(l hood Im Pro* du<iod—Activity of (lie Hoots. The extreme limit of the ago o! the oak Is nut exactly known, says the Ohio State Journal, but sound and living specimens aro at least 1,000 years old. Tho troo thrives best In a deep, tenacious loam with rocks In it. Stagnant water is one of Its aversions. It grows better on a comparatively poor sandy soli than on rich ground imperfectly drained. The trunk, at first Inclined to bo Irregular In shape,straightens at maturity into a grand cylindrical shaft. The oak do6s not produce good seed until it is more than 60 years old. The acorn is tho fruit of tho oak; tho seed-germ Is a very small object at tho pointed end of tho acorn, with tho future root uppermost. Tho acorn drops, and its contents doubtless undergo important molecular and chemical changes while it lies under its winter covering of leaves or snow. In the mild warmth of spring the acorn swells, the little root elongates, from the end of the shell, and. no matter what the position of tho acorn, turns downward. The root penetrates the soil two or three inches before the stalk begins to show itself and grow upward. The ••meat” of the acorn nourishes both root and stalk, and two years may pass before its store of food is entirely exhausted. At the end of a year the young oak has a root twelve to eighteen inches long, with numerous shorter rootlets, the stalk being from six to eight inches high. In this stage it differs from the sapling, and again the sapling differs from the tree. To watch these transformations under the lens is a fascinating occupation.

If an oak could be suspended in the air with all Its roots and rootlets perfect and unobscured the sight would be considered wonderful. The activity, of the roots represents a great deal of power. They bore into the soil and flatten themselves to penetrate a crack in a rock. Invariably the tips turn away from the light. The growing point of a tiny outer root is back of the tip a small distance. The tip is driven on by the force behind it and searches the soli for the easiest points of entrance. When the tips are destroyed by obstructions, cold, heat or other causes, a new growth starts in varying directions The first roots thicken and become girders to support the tree, no longer feeding it directly, but serving as conduits for the moisture and nourishment gathered by tho outer rootlets, which are constantly boring their way into fresh territory. These absorb water charged with soluble earth, salts, sulphates, nitrates, phosphates of lime, magnesia and potash, etc., which passes through the larger roots, stem and branches to the leaves, the laboratory of new growth. An oak tree may have 700.000 leaves, and from June to October evaporates 226 ’ times its own weight of water. Taking account of the new wood grown, “we obtain some idea of the enormous gain of matter and energy from the outside universe which goes on each summer. ” Oak timber is not the heaviest, toughest nor most beautiful, but It combines more good qualities than any other kind. Its fruit is valuable food and its bark useful in certain industries. An oak pile submerged for 650 years in London bridge came up in sound condition, and there are specimens from the Tower of London which date from the time of William Rufus. To produce a good oak grove requires from 140 to 200 years. It seems a long time to an American, but forestry is a perpetual branch of economics when once established.

Art Students in Paris. Most of the women art students in Paris are poor, and must live as economically as possible while persuing their studies in the great city. The most convenint way of living is in an apartment, usually selected in the Latin Quarter. For four rooms and a kitchen, prices vary from $l5O to S2OO a year, according to size and location. The furniture of the apartment is provided by the student, and is generally of the most primitive description, soap-boxes forming a large proportion of it. Then there are a few chairs, picked up at a convenient second-hand shop. In fact, the only new article is the divan, which cost $6, and also serves as a bed. Yet the American girl usually contrives to give on air of comfort to her surroundings, and to make her one room cozy and home-like. For a single Individual does not indulge in the lurury of a whole apartment, but shares it with several of her compatriots. They engage a woman to sweep, make the beds and cook; her wages are six cents an hour. Breakfast is prepared by the girls themselves, and requires only an alcohol lamp as fuel. The gas companies rent stoves to these Bohemians for 50 cents a month. Nearly every vegetable, canned cr fresh, can be bought already cooked, and in as small quantities as desired; soups and meats can also be purchased prepared for the table, and poultry is sent to the house steaming hot froth the spit. Only Americans sojourning in Paris have any idea of the number of girl students who live there alone. Not one art student in fifty is with her mother or cjiaperon. She often crosses with friends, selects a pension or a private family, where she fines the terms too high or the food too scanty, and it is not long before she meetsone or more congenial spirits in the studio, ,who are quite willing to take an apartment with her, and make for themselves that for which every true woman longs, wherever she may be—a home. Sharp Banking. Most readers must have seen the little tin savings-banks forteu-cent pieces which came into vogue two or three years ago. The cylinder holds fifty dimes, and cannot be opened until it is full. The New. York Recorder says that such a bank was given to a little girl and her brother. It contained one dime—a nest-egg. The day was warm, and pretty soon the desire of the Joint owners of the bank to convert the deposit into two glasses of soda-water became all but uncontrollable. The question was how to get the money out. Finally the boy—destined probably to become a Napoleon of fl-

nance—hit upon apian, and dragged his sister to tho nearest drug storeThere ho explained th' situation to tho num behind the < ’iinter, and broached his plan of operations. in short he asked thoman to lend him forty-nine ten-ccnt pieces for a minute or two. The num was ready for a customer, produced tho needed coins and tho little boy and girl went homo penniless and happy. Hu Huw the Point. Ho had a pretty hard day of it and had gone to bed early. When his wife entered the room he was sleeping soundly, and no wan likes to be awakened half an hour after ho gets asleep She was evidently amused at something, and as she approached tho bod she exclaimed: “John! Oh, John!’’ He never moved. “John! Wake up!" she persisted. “There’s one of tho funniest incidents ” He still slept and she began tc shake him. “John! Listen to me!" she cried. He mumbled something, and she shook him again. He opened his eyes and gruffly asked what the trouble was. ' “There’s the funniest story in one of thopapers," she said. “It’sabout Goldust, the millionaire,and it maxes me laugh every time 1 think of it I’ll tell you about It” “No, you won’t” he exclaimed hotly. “What in thunder ■” “Why, John!” “I suppose you think it’s a joke to wake me up out of a sound sleep to tell me some foolish story. What do you think I went to bed for?" “Don’t you want to hear it, John?” she asked in surprise. “No, I don’t” “Dear me,” she said in a puzzled sort of way, “don’t you really like to be waked up in the middle of the night to hear a story any more than I do when I get to bed first?” He glared at her and she retreated, but she knew that the shot had gone home. He doesn’t wake her up any more and expect her to laugh at some joke or story he heard at the club.— Free Press. How to Clean a Cloek. An eight-day cuckoo clock stood in one corner of the kitchen, Inside the case of which Jemmy kept his singlebarrelled gun; a good one it was, andalways kept ready loaded. “I like to have things readv and handy-like,” he was wont to remark; “you never know when they may be near”—the birds he meant There was no gun license needed in those days, only a game certificate. The things that did come when Jemmy was about seldom went away again. The clock was a good one, but the bird had not shouted properly for some time; one day, he would tune up all right and the next he was a mute. Mother said she really must have it cleaned, but she never could make up her mind to let it go out of the house. One day, the very day which this really was going to be done, a boy came rushing from the farm-yard into the kitchen, where Jemmy was having his snack of lunca alone, to tel] him: “Something had come, and he’d best be quick, for it was on the move like.". Jemmy opened the clock case and hurriedly caught up the gun. as he had done scores of times before, but not with the same result. In the haste of the moment he touched one of the weights; It swayed, the hammer of his gun hit the bottom of the weight, which threw it back, and oti she went, bang! right through the works. Down fell the cuckoo. The mother was up-stairs when she heard the report; her first thoughts were for Jemmy. “Jem, my boy, what have you dofie?” she cried. For a moment he looked speechless at the wreck, then he shouted back “Allright, mother, I’veonlycleaned the clock. ” „ Frugal. A wealthy but most miserly old New England farmer went out West to visit a daughter whom he had nol seen for twenty years, and his visit gave him no pleasure because it cost “such a sight to git there” and there was before him the agonizing necessity of spending-.-the amount of his fare home. On his way home he was taken dangerously ill, and some oi the sympathetic passengers began questioning him in regard to his home and family that a telegram might be sent to his friends, whereupon the oldman, flashing a “no surrender yet” look from his gray eyes, said: “1 ain’t goin’ to pay fer no telegram to nobody, an’ I ain’t goin’ to die yit. These here dratted railroads charge double fare fer carryin’ a cawpse an 1 they don’t git no double fare out o me!” And he died triumphant while they were carrying him from the car at his own station. Rates of Postage In 1814.

An old almanac for 1814 gives the following as the rates of postage pro vailing at that time: “For every single letter by land, for forty miles, 8 cents; ninety miles, 10 cents; 150 miles, 124 cents; 300 miles, 17 cents; 500 miles, 20 cents, and for more than 500 miles, 25 cents. No allowance to be made for intermediate miles. Every double letter is to pay double the said rates; every triple letter, triple; every packet weighing one ounce, at the rate of four single letters each ounce. Every ship letter originally received at an office for delivery, 6 cents. Magazines and pamphlets, not over 50 miles, 1 cent, per sheet; over fifty miles and not exceeding 100 miles, 1J cents pel sheet; over 100 miles, 2 cents per sheet” '■ ' Japanese Paper Money. Describing the Japanese papei money a correspondent says: “These are oblong paper cards of the relative values of a dollar,half,quarter,eighth and sixteenth. They are of local issue, and the privilege of putting ' them in circulation having belonged to the dalmio for centuries past, as a consequence there were over a hundred local varieties in tie empire ol various colors, values and sizes. The general characteristics are the same in all, the obverse of every design conspicuously presenting the dragon with horns, hair, claws, aud mustaches.” r/