Decatur Democrat, Volume 34, Number 35, Decatur, Adams County, 21 November 1890 — Page 7

THANKSGIVING. •. fr , ■“ BT H. C. DODGE. aft fw

U.K Yankee forefathers had wisdom right smart. For, knowing man's nature L to grumble, I The only one day in the year set apart I For him to feel thankful si and humble. IjTo make that one very short II day a success W They feasted and stuffed him witli turkey, M So he, feeling good, might his blessings confess

And see his surroundings less murky. For one little day in the whole-of the year They asked him to leave off complaining. And give a few thanks to t he One we revere, For blessings He ever is raining. But man wouldn't do it—not even if he (tn turkey forever was dining: The dark side of clouds he will eagerly see And hide from their silvery lining. Unless he finds fault he's not happy at all, And e’en on this day he should treasure. His turkey’s too big—or his turkeys too small— To suit his unsuitable measure. But some time, we Hope —when millennium's here— A man may be. foiiml who is Irving Who’ll do till his growling one day in the year. And spend all the rest in Thanksgiving. SHE HATED POOR MEN. BY MANPA L. CHOCK EK.

< E RN FC E! come ‘\hefo. ” \ ■•‘Yrs,, mother.” /A sweet-faced girlwoman left- hotplace' in the deep \ nay window where v. she had been aril ranging the tlo.w---i-rs and came. re- ! luctantly over to ' the side of the elderly lady by the table. - -Is Will Thursby going back -to Detroit and his bookkeeping?” a sar-

<sj» R t \ W

rastic'curl of the lip accompanied the question. “He expects-to return to the city on | next Wednesday, I believe,” answered , the daughtet, a peculiar expression coming into word and manner. “Well! I am glad of it!” exclaimed the mother, triumphantly, “for I don’t want him poking around here on Thanksgiving. Day when our city friend,.Howard Atherling is with us: becomes to spend the week with Ills uncle's family, yon know, and I've sent, an invitation to all to eat Thanksgiving dinner with us.” “Yes;-so you told me yesterday.” And Bernice went back to her flowers, with a strange little smile hovering about, the determined mouth. Mrs. Hunter leaned back among the cushions and took up her crocheting once more. Bernice's affections should be transferred from that poor, jienniless book-keeper to the handsome, rising young laywer, who. a ;■ s.dyf had a snug fortune, if she, .Mrs. Isabelle Hunter, hail any tact for match-makings Yes, decidedly, it must be. Week after next would be Thanksgiving, and the Atherlings were expecting Howard. And by family and education the young la wyer and Bernice were suited to one am-. ■ other. But then this contrary freak of her daughter's threatened now to upset all her calculations and bring trouble in another direction. Bernice seemed to utterly ignore the i young disciple of Blackstone, preferring .1, the company of merely a book-keeper I here of late. It was really too provoking for any lise; yet she was thinking, as she’ thrust the shining needle through the meshes, j a that after all the girl only meant to tease ; and amuse herself with Will Thttrshy for | a-t.ime. It could not be that a daughter | of hers would so far forget her social — position as to be hi earnest in so doing. Elise had married wealthy, ami Olivia -had become the. proud wife of a Chicago banker, and Bernice must follow -their Example, or she. Mrs. Isabelle Hunter, would know why not. Yes. VVell. then, next week that penniless but dangerously winning Thorsby would go back to his employer, and tile coast, would be clear for the working of her much-desired plan. 'How lucky! • “Will,” said a sweet ' voice over the back gate that evening, “did you say that you' knew when Howard Ather- . ling's wedding takes place?” > “The cards' are out for the day before Thanksgiving. ” answered he. “but why do you ask. Bern ice?'’ She leaned toward him and whispered something in a low. laughing way; and Will Thursby drew the dear head down to his breast ami said: “Then your mother doesn't, know that I have fallen heir to the cool thousands, and that I only go back to Detroit to arrange the office affair- for my successor?” . ' “No; I shall keep it from her until Atherling is married, just for fun. Mother does hate poor men sq very much, especially book-keepers; but? then -J can just iin’ftgine how quickly she will fall in love with Mr. Will Thursby when it comes out that he is liftad above the necessity of earning his own bread and butter.” . And we leave them enjoy ing their happy.secret by i.h’e wicket in.the November twilight. Thanksgiving morning dawns crisp and bright. ’Everything is in keeping with an air of thankfulness for a prosperous year in Mrs. I Inn tor's lovely home, and she. like the strict Puritan' that, she assumes to be, makes it her religions duty to attend church services, ' and see that every one belonging to her household is punctually in her pew. Tim Atherliijgs are there also, and Howard is there also, looking more stylish and handsomer than ever. . * But a lady at his side, seems to claim all his attention, and is dressed, too, like a bride. It certainly wasn’t Grace Atherling, his proud ■ sister, whom she mot once at their uncle's, a year ago. No; she didn't resemble her one bit. That prpvokihgiy beautiful veil, too, looked like the -crowning point of a bridal trousseau’. . v Mrs. Hunter looked again, This time she saw a look bn the handsome young lawyer’s face, as he gazed down on the woman's beside him that made her feel awfully uncomfortable, somehow. Well, Mrs. Isabelle Hunter sat the services out without feeling the least bit thankful, for reasons best known to herself. Bernice, however, seemed wonderfully attentive to the sermon.

•Thfs fs my wife, Mrs. Hunter,* bowed Howard Atherling at the close of worship, as he led the veiled lady up for an introduction. “Lena, dear, this is my old friend, Mrs. Hunter, of whom I have often spoken, and this,” turning to Bernice, who stood by with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, “is another friend of mine, Miss Hunter. ” , • “I am sure we shall be the best of friends,” exclaimed Bernice, delightedly, as she acknowledged the introduction by a cordial clasp of the hand and a dainty little kiss on the fair cheek of Mrs. Howard Athcrling. . e 5 Mamma Hunter said but little on the way home: but her daughter ceased not to dwell on the exquisite taste of the bride s attire, fairly bubbling over that her dear friend Howard Athcrling had such a ladylike wife. There are more martyrs in this world than those burned at the stake; and Mrs. Hunter felt in her inmoSt soul that she suffered all the keenness of chagrin and wounded pride in that short service hour. But it could not be helped. Howard Athcrling had a right to marry ■whosoever he pleased, for all her; and, now that he had exercised that right, Bernice would most likely have her bent in preferring that poverty-stricken Thursby. It would come to more them that, too, her motherly intuition told her. Oh, it was dreadful! She had always heard of the “black sheep,” but she Vlidn't think such a dreadful thing wcnild crop out in the Hunter family. Now. something told her that Bernice, with her wit and beauty, her accomplishments and queenly bearing, would metamorphose herself shortly into that undesirable creature, and likely as not elope with that bookkeeper—maybe be-' fore Christmas: she had noticed that they were wonderfully intimate lately. Oh, dear! But the Atherlings had accepted her invitation, and must be - entertained. Her enviable title as the finest hostess in all Merriweather must not suffer; so, laying aside her terrible heartache, Mrs. Hunter put through the day in the rodhot crucible of substituting smiles for tears. She felt more like weeping bitterly, of course, than smiling down on the innocent. girlish figure usurping the place she had so long coveted for Berniec: but there was no opportunity, and she must live it down. Finally the day dragged through, and what a Thanksgiving" it had been, to be sure. Nqhe but Mamma Hunter ever knew how every moment, of that awful day lengthened oiit on purpose to stab her wme ded, calculative pride through and thi.,hgh. Strange that Bernice did hot by word or look taunt her with the failure of her plans; sin l was doubtless too well satisfied with the prospect of being left with Thorsby only to entertain. Nevermind, that book-keeper should never enter the house at Merriweather Place again; she would have her revenge. The Atherlings were gone now, the china and silver had been restored to their respective closets, and Bernice had gone sedately up-stairs to write a letter, and a neighbor, Mrs. Amsjjrn, dropped in. “Os course you've heard the news.” she. exclaimed, almost/before Mrs. Hunter wheeled an easy chair into place for her comfort. “That Howard Athcrling is married?Yes; lie and his wife were here to-day, replied Mrs. Hunter, coldly. "No! oh, no: that's nothing out of the common.” exclaimed Mrs. Amsden, impatiently. “all young folks marry, or expect to, at least: but what 1 meant to tell you is wonderfully good luck for your daughter. Bernice.” “I don't understand,” said Mrs. Hunter, mystified, peering out, figuratively, for the silver lining to the November cloud. “Why, don't yon know?” exclaimed the other, excitedly, “that Bernice is the only girl in all the wide world that Will Thursby can's for. and now he's worth I his thousands and thousands.” Mrs. Hunter leaned toward her friend with a strange commingling of hope, doubt .and fear on her aristocratic face. Putting her hand on the arm of Mrs. Amsden. she whispered: “Is that true?” “Why. yes, of .course it is. I guess I ought to know, when Mr. Amsden is en- .■■ - s

(LeT) “WE1.1.! SAftll A SWEET VOICEOVERTHE FENCE.”

— ■ | gag<*| as agent already to look after i somezreal estate here failing to the for- j tunate Thursby soon.” i “O— o--o'” cried «Mrs. Hunter, clasp- ; ing her hands in an-ecstasy of delight, I “and he is a most desirable companion. I too.” • _ “Your daughters have all done well, I .Mrs. Hunter,” pursued her friend, "and it. is so very lucky for them, arid you. too.” • “My daughters know bettor than lodo any other way.” replied the. blue-blooded mother, proudly. “Bernice, tod. is a very sensible girl, and I've always felt easyyabotit her choice of company.” After, tin hour Mrs. Amsden took her leave, and Mrs. Hunter, tiptoeing to thestairway, called softly: “Bernice, Bernice.!” “YeS'm.” And shortly the dutiful daughter came.down, writing materials in hand, and with one dainty -finger blackened with ink. “I've been writing to that, horrid bookkeeper, mamma.” she said, in answer to her mother's look of inquiry. “I've eoneluded to drop Will Thursby and not waste my time any longer on a moneyless man: don't you think I am growing sensible?!’ A flush of.shame, that her objections to the young man would soon be laid bare, came over Mrs. Hunter's face; but she said bravely enough: “Don't you love him a bit, dear?” “What's love—insipid thing—what's love to tnone.y?” retorted Bernice Ironically. “But but Will Thursby is wealthy now,” ventured the mother; “hasn't he told you anything, as yes? I should have thought he would; Mrs. Amsden told me.” “Impossible!” replied Bernice, warmly. “If he had money he would have told me, would he not? Mrs. Amsden, fudge. “But f would't send the letter, dear,” advised the mother, “for it certainly is true that he is wealthy. Mr. Amsden is his agent here to look after his real estate vicinity.” Bernice paused. She seemed to be thinking deeply as she twirled the letter around on her finger. “Oh, well,” she sat'd lightly, “suppose he is now a man of money; suppose he is; it will always hang over him that he once kept books for a wholesale grocery store in Detroit

I should always reznenaber it, and tt would be humiliating to say the least. No, I’ll send the letter and end it. ” Mrs. Hunter began to cry. She was satisfied that Thursby was no longer poor, and she knew that in every other respect he was a man to be admired. “Oh, Bernice!” she mcaned hysterically, as she sank into a seat, “how awfully contrary you can be. ” The door-bell rang at this juncture and put an end to further protest. A [ servant soon ushered in Mr. Will Thursby. Sirs. Hunter came forward with a glad welcome on her lips, but' Bernice only said, “You’ve missed your Thanksgiving dinner, Mr. Thursby.” “I do so desire to. congratulate ynu on your good fortune, ” cried Mrs. Hunter, holding out both hands in an exceedingly cordial manner. Will Thursby took one proffered palm with a curious smile, but said nothing. “Why don’t you congratulate him, Bernice?” asked the mother in a halfangry tone. “,O I don't care to overdo the matter; ' I congratulated .him three weeks ago," replied the daughter. “So he told you, did he?” Mrs. Huntei

IMh o * i -- MJ® «i’ve been writing to that horrid bookkeeper, MAMMA.”

was all smiles now: the disappointment Was all gone from tone and face. “Yes, my dear, Mrs. Hunter.” putin Thursby; “how could I keep the joyous fact from my promised wife longer? I could not. fiweed!” . Mrs. Hunter gave her daughter such a look of provoked, amazement that both the young persons laughed heartily. Presently she joined in the merriment against herself, without knowing why. And when the shadows of Thanksgiving night crept around Merriweather Place, and Will and Bernice had gone for a ride' in the moonlight weather, Mrs. Hunter stole softly to her room murmuring: “My, what an eventful day this has been, to be sure. I certainly had no thought of all this. “But I am thankful! O. so thankful!” And the twenty-third psalm trembled on her lips. _■ Women Who Feel Young. There’s a sister I often meet in my travels. She is the good sister who “feels just as young as ever she was.” She’s a kittenish thing, yet she’d be a little more kittenish if she was less elephantine. Frisky old girl, how she does love to climb into the swing at the picnic! Weighs two hundred and fifteen and makes the swing creak like a hoisting tackle. “Higher, Mr.-Thin-shanks! Higher! Oh, higher! You can’t frighten me! I’m not one of the scary sort of girls.” You bet she isn’t. Has six children, and if you’ll mistake her for her eldest daughter—a sweet, slender girl, with an oval face, spirituelle expression, and figure as graceful as a swaying lily—she ll ask you to dinner for a xveek. Plays “Pussy wants a corner” mid “Hunt the slipper.” Loves to “teeter.” With an eighteenfoot board you have to pull all but about thirty inches over to your side of the trestle to make it balance. When the board is balanced right in the middle, she can fire the whole young men’s Bible clas’S up into the air as though they had been fired from a catapult. When her end of the board bangs down on the ground it jars all the buds off the trees. Fondof mountain climbing. Usually fastens on to a young man to drag her up. Older brethren too wary. They dragged her up hills when she was younger. Besides, the old youngsters retain their old-time prejudice in favor of younger girls. They help her daughters up. Man never mistakes mother for daughter going up mountain. Apt to make that mistake about luncheon-time only. * Oh, we know the old-elderly—that is, middle-aged woman who is the youngest of the lot!” And, knowing her, we fly from her, that is, as well as a man—who has long since shed his wings and raised a few achers of corns—can fly. — Ladies’ Home Journal. ’>■ A Fighting Preacher. Bev. Mr. Bartley, chaplain of Montreal’s crack military corps and pastor of a swell West End congregation, gave a scientific thrashing to one of Montreal’s best known and richest young sports a few days ago. The story that led to the result is told as follows in the New York Star: Home few weeks ago the youth in question was engaged to wed one of the fairest daughters of Montreal. The lady in question happened to be a member of Parson Bartley’s church, and also a partic 'ir friend of the minister. In consequence, he was called upon to the marriage cere 1 mony, and on the day appointed was on hand at the residence of the intended bride, as was also a large party of friends to assist at the wedding. To the consternation of the friends the groom failed to put in an appearance. The wedding was declared off. The clergyman, it is said, expressed himself in no indistinct way about what he called the rascally conduct of the gilded youth in question. A few evenings ago the clergyman was invited to visit the young mafif and, thinking he was to get an explanation of his strange conduct, he made the visit. « He just entered the door when his first salute was a stinging left hander in the face. It was then that he divested himself of his garments,' and the youth was taught a richly deserved lesson in the manly art. Ho badly was he done up by the reverend pugilist that he spent a week in a private hospital to recuperate from the effects of the thrashing. As the brother and father of his affianced had promised a similar proceeding, he, to escape further beating, married the girl, and Mr. Bartley performed the long postponed ceremony to the satisfaction of all. The affair has only just leaked out, and has created a sensation, of which the pugilistic parson is rhe hero. j * The old name of “bridegroom” was originally given to the newly married man because, formerly, it was customary for him to wait at table on his bride and friends on the wedding day.

A DOCTOR’S CONFESSION. Be Doesn’t Take Much Medicine and Advice* the Reporter Not To. “Humbug? Os course it is. The so-called science of medicine is a humbug and has been from the time of Hippocrates to the present. Why, the biggest crank in the Indian tribes is the medicine man.” Very frank was the admission, especially to when it came from one of the biggest young physicians of the city, one whose practice is among the thousands, though he has been graduated but a few years, says the Buffalo Courier. “Very cozy was his office too, with its cheerful grate fire, its Queen Anne furniture, and its many lounges and easy chairs. He stirred the fire lazily, lighted a fresh cigar, and went on. “Take the presciptions laid down in the books and what do you find? Poisons.mainly, and nauseating stuffs that would make a healthy man an invalid. Why in the world science should go to poisons for its remedies I cannot tell, nor can I find any one who can. “ How does a doctor know the effect of his medicine?” he asked. •* He calls, prescribes, and goes away. The only way to judge would be to stanch over the bed and watch the patient. This cannot be clone. So, really, I don’t know how he is to tell what good or hurt he does. Some time ago, you remember, the Boston Globe sent, out a reporter with a stated set of symptoms. He went to eleven prominent physicians and brought back eleven different prescriptions. This just shows how much science there is in medicine. ” There are local diseases of various characters for which Nature provides positive, remedies. They may not be included in the regular physician’s list, perhaps, because of their simplicity, but the evidence of their curative power is beyond dispute. Kidney disease is cured by Warner’s Safe Cure, a strictly herbal remedy. Thousands of persons every year write as does H. J. Gardiner, of Pontiac, R. 1., Aug. 7, 1890: “A few years ago I suffered more than probably ever will be known outside of myself with kidney and liver complaint. It is the old story. I visited doctor after doctor, but to no avail. I was at Newport, and Dr. recommended Warner's Safe Cure. I commenced the use of it, and found relief immediately. Altogether I took three bottles, and I truthfully state that it cured me.” . Fish Culture at Lake Sunapee. The status of the Fish Commission of New Hampshire when Mr. Powers first became its active spirit can be best described by the relation of an amusing incident, says Frederic M„ Dey, in Frank Leslie’s Popular Monthly. He was anxious to obtain possession of all State property belonging to his department. After repeated demands to his predecessor in office, which were always followed by unnecessary and inexplicable delays, he was at first informed that upon a certain day the “property” would be forwarded to him by freight. He awaited its arrival with some impatience, and when at last it came he found himself the custodian of two old beer barrels, which had been remodeled into portable tanks (?) and which were not worth the expense of their transportation. They comprised the entire assets of the New Hampshire State Game and Fish Commission at that time. The new incumbent gazed upon them in contemptuous silence, and presently noticing that an old coffin handle had been attached to one of the barrels, he tore it off, placed it in his pocket and walked away. That same coflin handle is fastened upon one end of the< “salmon box” at the Sunapee Lake hatching house to-day, and is jealously guarded as a most precious relic of the past. During the fourteen years that have elapsed since Mr. Powers placed the assets of the Fish Commission in his coat pocket a vast amount of work has been accomplished, and at the present time the 1 State contains three large hatching houses, while appropriations have been made forithe construction of several others. And still the work goes steadily forward, impressing one with the conviction that in a few years more the State of New Hampshire will have become the ideal resort for anglers from all parts of the world. The Minstrel Man. He loved her as his own soul, and he called at her Austin residence last Sunday to put an engagement ring on her dainty finger. “Can we sail down the stream of time together, pet, in the same gondola?”* he whispered sweetly. “Yes, George,” she sighed< as she leaned her golden head aga nst his diagonal vest pattern, “down to the shoreless sea of eternity, and beyond in the mystic spirit land our souls shall intertwine, and (leaping to her feet suddenly)—Oh, my! there he goes now!” and the young girl rushed to the Window and looked out longingly for several minutes. “What is the attraction?” said the young man, somewhat annoyed. “He’s just too sweet to live!” murmured the maiden, two much absorbed to hear George’s voice. Thep he got up and saw the end man of the minstrel troupe passing along on the other side of the street, so he calmly sat down and allowed the show to pass.— Texas Siftings. Beware of Ointments for Catarrh that Contain Mercury, Ab mercury Will surely destroy the sense of smell and completely derange the whole system when entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such articles should never be used except on prescriptions from reputable physicians, as the damage they will do is tenfold to the good you can possibly derive from them. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, 0., contains no mercury, and is taken internally, and acts directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. In buying Hall’s Catarrh Cure be sure you get tho genuine. It is taken internally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney & Co. Ba-Sold by Druggists, price 75c per bottle. Duty on Corsets. Girl (to her betrothed) —Why do you squeeze my waist with both arms. Lover —Don’t you know that the McKinley bill doubles the duty on corsets. —Texas Siftings. Why His Writing Halted. Teacher—Your sob halts badly in his writing. Mother (apologetically) —Yes, poor boy, he always did stutter. — Texas Siftings. The ship of state is dressed ip sails made from political canvas, and guided by the tiiler of public patronage. — Waterloo Observer. A ball waa recently bowled against a young English cricketer’s forehead, killing him instantly. Up to Sept. 1 the number of deaths in Egypt from cholera was officially reported at 26,900.

Ringing Noises

In the earp. sometimes a roaring, buzzing sound or snapping like the report of a pistol, are caused by catarrh, that exceedingly disagreeable and very common disease. Loss ot smell or hearing also results from catarrh. Hood's Sarsaparilla the great blood purifier, is a peculiarly successful remedy for catarrh, which it cures by eradicating from the blood the impurity which causes and promotes this disease. -For 25 years I have been troubled with catarrh in the head, indigestion, and general debility. I concluded to try a bottle of Hood’s Sarsaparilla, and it did me so much good that I continued its use till I have taken five bottles. My health has greatly improved, and I feel like a different woman* Mbs. J. B. Adams, 8 Richmond Street Newark, N. J.

Hood’s Sarsaparilla

■old by all druggisto* fl: six for 85. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD * CO„ LowelLMasa. tOO Doses One Dollar

Vigorous Men and Women. The vigorous are they who pay attention to the laws of health, of which one of the foremost is, Take care of your digestion. Should a temporary attack of ths enemy, dyspepsia, surprise you. foil his subsequent assaults with Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters. From the stomach coma the fundamental supplies which minister to vigor, and, thoroughly transmuted into blood actively circulated, are the maintenance of the system. Pallid in countenance, nervous, attenuated in figure, appetiteless, poor sleepers, are the dyspeptic. Re-enforced and built up by the great stomachic, the wan and thin increase in color and bulk, appetite improves, nervous symptoms disappear, sleep grows tranquil and refreshing, and the intranquillity of mind and despondency notable in invalids gives place to light-heartedness, a capacity for racy enjoyment of dfae good things of this life. Use the Bitters ror malarial, bilious, rheumatic and kidney troubles. Why She Wanted Him to Chew. Mrs. Jones—-You should make your husband quit chewing tobacco. If you ask him to do it I reckon he will do it. Mrs. Brown—l dare say, but I’m not going to ask him to quit chewing tobacco. “When your husband kisses you don’t the taste of tobacco make you sick?” “Yes, but I want him to keep on chewing tobacco all the same. He kisses three orfout more women, and the tobacco makes them sicker than it does me, for they haven’t got used to it yet, like I have.” THE WABASH DIVE. 11-andsome equipment. E-legant day coaches, and W-agner palace sleeping care A-re in daily service B-etween the city of St. Louis A-nd New York and Boston. S-pacious reclining chair cars II -ave no equal 1,-ike those run by the I-ncomparable and only Wabash. JI -ew trains and fast time S-very day in the year. From East to West the sun’s bright ray. Smiles on the line that leads the way. MAGNIFICENT VESTIBULE EXPRESS TRAINS, running free reclining chair cars and pal Ace sleepers to St. Louis. Kansas “City, and Council Bluffs. The direct route to all points in Missouri. Kansas, Nebraska, lowa. Texas. Indian Territory. Arkansas. Colorado, Utah. Wyoming. Washington. Montana, and California. For rates, routes, maps, etc., apply to any ticket agent or address R. G. Thompson, Passenger and Ticket Agent. Fort Wayne, Ind. The Mother of Invention. Briggs—l’m in a dilemma. I want to get some winter underclothing, but can’t afford it. Griggs—That’s an easy one. How many suits of summer underclothing have you? Two? Then wear them together. Warm as toast. Wear one next to the skin; then the other; then turn them inside out, and soon. “ Briggs—How about washing? Griggs—Oh, by the time you have made all the changes it will be spring.— Racket. , TRADES AND OCCUPATIONS. The Youth’s Companion for 1891 will give an instructive and healthful Series of Papers, each of which describes the character of some leading Trade for Boys or Occupation for Girls. They give information as to the apprenticeship required to learn each, the Wages to be expected, the Qualities needed in order to enter, and the Prospects of Success. To new subscribers who sen.l $1.75 at once the paper will be sent free to Jan. 1. 1891, and for a full year from that date. Address, The Youth's Companion, Boston. Mass. He Hadn’t Done It. Indifferent Portrait Painter (to blunt friend) —I suppose I break a Bible commandment every day. Blunt Friend—What commandment is that? “That which me find in Exodus: ‘Thou shall not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness, etc.’” “When did you ever make any likeness?” A I«dy in South Carolina Writes; My labor was shorter and less painful than on two former occasions; physicians astonished; I thank you for for “Mother’s Friend.” It is worth its weight in gold. Address The Bradfield Reg. Co.. Atlanta. Ga., for particulars. Sold by druggist. She Brought Him. Evangeline (to her lover, who was too bashful to propose)—Do you approve of the custom of throwing a shoe after the bride? Bashful Lover—l—that is to say—you —I mean I don't—don’t see any objection. Evangeline — Well, I’ll furnish the shoe. [To be married Thanksgiving.]—Teras Siftings. Doctors prescribe Dr. Bull’s Worm Destroyers, because children like them and they never fail. The Landlady Could Wait. Bob (to room-ma(e) —The landlady just dunned me for our last two weeks’ rent. We ought to settle up. Bill—All right, let’s pay it; but, (reflectively\.if we do we won’t be able tobet on a rjhqe for at least a month. Bob —Oh, in that case let it stand. The old pelican can wait—Until the racps are over, anyhow.— Texas Siftings. A Sore Thboat ok Cough, if suffered to progress, often results in an incurable throat or lung trouble. ••Brown’s Bronchial Troches" give instant relief. A Give Away. Mrs. Phlunkey—l’ve got a lovely new maid just from IJaris. Mrs. Munkey (maliciously)—l thought so. Your husband told mine last night that he had begun taking French lessons from a private teacher! — Texas Siftings. “Flurried men lack wisdom." Worry! Hurry! Flurry! are all avoided by the use of 8 APOLIO I for quick work is not hurried work. The barrel, although not generally known as a musical instrument, is nearly all staves and chimes. Ladies often compare notes on health, and while they may differ on many points, they always agree that Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound is the standard female medicine. . Everything is adulterated nowadays. A San Francisco man bought a cork leg, and afterward ascertained that it-was made of paper. Bronchitis is cured by frequent email doses of Piso’s Cure for Consumption. The locks on the door are worn perfectly plain. It is the door that is banged. Fob a disordered liver try Beecham’s Pills. The man who can see music in a bass drum has good eyesight

“I used Hood's Sarsaparilla for catarrh, and r» ceived great relief' and benefit from it. The catarrh was very disagreeable, especially in the winter, causing constant discharge from my nose, ringing noises in my ears, and pains in the back of my head. The effort to clear my head in the morning by hawking and spitting was painful. Hood’s Sarsaparilla gave me relief immediately, while in time I was entirely cured. I am never without the medicine in my house, as I think it is worth its weight in gold." Mbs. O. B. Gibb, 1029 Eighth Street, Jf. W. Washington, D. C. “I have used Hood’s Sarsaparilla for catarrh with very satisfactory results. I have received more permanent benefit from it than from any other remedy.’ J. F. Hubbabd, Streator. HL N. B. Be sure to get

' I Bold by an druggists. tl;sixforg>. Preparodonly J tj C. L ROOD * CO. LowelL Mass. ! too Doses One Dollar

NMriy Ewwytedy Is troubled more or less with catarrh in the head. It originates in a cold or succession of colds, combined with impure blood. Disagreeable flow from the nose, tickling in the throat, offensive breath, pain over and between the eyes, ringing and bursting noises in the ears, are the more common symptoms. Catarrh- is cured by Hood’s Sarsaparilla, which strikes directly at its cause by removing all impurities from the blood, building up the diseased, tissues and giving healthy tone to the whole system. , A Desirable Role. A loquacious woman who had nearly talked her husband to death, surprised him the other day by the announcement that she was going on the stage. “If the stage can stand it 1 can,” replied her husband sententiously. “But will you come to my debut?” “I will if you will appear in a part I select for you.”* “What is that?” “Dumb Girl of Seville.” Foul poisons that accumulate in the blood and rot the machinery of the system are eradicated and expelled by using Prickly Ash. Bitters, a medicine that will not irritate the stomach or bowels. It acts in a gentle manner on these delicate organs, and restores health in every case. He Hadn’t Beard ot It. Politician —Did you see my card in this morning’s paper? Busy Man —No. What was Politician —I declined to run for office. Busy Man —Didn’t know that any one wanted you to run. Busy day with » me; good-bye. — Texas Siftings. t Abe anv of the new-fangled compounds as good as the old-fashioned soap? Dobbins Electric Soap has been sold every day for 24 years, and is now just as good as ever. Ask your grocer for it and take no First Student (entering companion’s room) —"Ah, I see vou have been burning midnight oil” Second Student—“No; that’s a couple of old shoes I threw into the stove.” If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use Dr. Isaa« Thompson’s'Eye Water. Druggists sell it 250. A boarding house martyr said that he suffered at the steak. ’ in [ifA Poverty ■stricken Millionaire! This seems a paradox, but it is explained by one of New York’s richest men. “I don’t count my wealth in dollars,” he said. “What are all my possessions to me, since I am a victim of consumption ? My doctor tells me that I have but a few months to live, for the disease is incurable. lam Poorer than that beggar yonder.” “But,” interupted the friend to whom he spoke, “consumption can be cured. If taken in time, Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery will eradicate every vestige of the disease from your system.” “ 11l try it,” said the millionaire, and he did; and to-day there is not a healthier, happier man to be found anywhere. The “Discovery” strikes at the seat of the complaint. Consumption is a disease of the blood—is nothing more nor less than lung-scrofula—and it must and does yield to this wonderful remedy. “Golden Medical Discovery” is not only an acknowledged remedy for that terribly fatal malady, when taken in time and given a fair trial, but also for all forms of Scrofulous, Skin and Scalp Diseases, as White Swellings, Feversores, Hip-joint Disease, Salt-rheum, Tetter, Eczema, Boils, Carbuncles; Erysipelas and kindred ailments. MU I mail. For sale by all druggists or at office. For circulars and testimonials address, with stamps. Dr. O. W. F. Snyder, 243 State St., Chicago. Ask your Druggist to order it for you. MENTION I’HIS PAPER whkk wbitimg to AOiUTikua.' ■ ■■ ■ ™ ent, sent free. PATRICK O’FARRELL. Ats-y a-t Law. WaehiDgfp D-Q RPWQinMJaHXW.MORRIS, [lClwOlWlni WMhlngton, D. C. Successfully Prosecutes Claims. ■ Late Principal Examiner ILS. Pension Bureau. ■ 3 y» in last war. ISatfiudicaungoiauus, atty since ft ■ TF*U Trt I Instructions FREE to Un J L 111 I L I inventors. MJ* Write at r U I f II I . 1 J once for hand-book ot I PI I tell I W ■ information. J. B. CKALLE Jt CO. Washington, D. C.

■ BLY BROTHERS. 56 Warren St, New York. Price 50 ets.Bß—Si_®_SEj ■'flw- fo rce wjSis tn c& nuih y PERFORMMIRACLES fl r the add of Try iHn your next house- 'Mi cl€dkHin€* and see. A STRUGGLE WITH DIRT Goes on in civilized society from the cradle to the grave. Dirt is degradation—and degradation is destruction. Women, especially, are judged by their habits of household cleanliness, and no stronger condemnation can be expressed than “she keeps a dirty house and a filthy kitchen.” But the struggle with dirt is often unequal. The woman’s weakness or the worthlessness of the soaps she uses make it impossible to overcome the demon of dirt. By the use of SAPOLIO she wins easily. * Catarrh Cured, * ONE CENT I If you suffer from Catarrh, in any of its forms, it is your dnty to yourself and family to obtain ths means of a certain cure before it is too late. This you can easily do at an expense of one cent for a postal card, bv sending your name and address to Prof. J. A. Lawrence. New York, who will send yon FREE, bv return mail, a coey of the original recipe for preparing the best and surest remedy ewer discovered for the cure of Catarrh in all its various stages. Over one mllliou cases of this dreadful, disgusting and often times fatal disease hava been cured permanently during the past hve years by the use of this medicine. Write to-day for this FREE recipe. Its timely use may save you from'the death toils of Consumption. IMJ NOT DKJLAY longer, if you desire a speedy and permanent core. Address w. vonsuoxv 188 Wanen Street. New York. ■ TDISO’S REMEDY FOR CATARRH.—Best. Easiest to use. -C Cheapest. Belief is immediate. A cure is certain, For Cold in the Head it has no equal. ■ ■ It is as Ointment, of which a small particle is applied to the nostrils. Price, 50c. Sold by druggists or sent by mail. , Address, E. T. Hazkliinm, Warren, Pi. ■■ ASTHM I ter forms for application sad full iaformatioa by —ll temtovsrn. ar, a, ssmwilAK, St. >vftak g WM. W. DUDLEY. reXwZZZZ... ... &atk coaMisaiojcnt of pknsions. - 1 — ■»» -u Attorney at Law. WaiaktnvteX IK <L Wtaas Wattes *•» Advertiser*, ptoMw ear' (MasAia this Paper J yen saw the AdverttoeeMat to this payees .

~| (A d y - o, Ai a " NOW OLD I LOOK, ANO NOT YET THIRTY I” Many women fxde early, simply because they do not take proper care of themselves. Whirled along in the excitements of fashionable life, they overlook those minor ailments that, if not checked in time, will rob them of Health and Beauty. At the first symptom of vital weakness, use LYDIA E PINKHAM’S I Compound I I The roses will return to your cheeks, sallow looks depart, spirits brighten, your step become firm, and back and head aches will be known no more. Your appetite will gain, and the food nourish you. The Compound is sold by all Druggists as a standard article, or sent by mail, in form of Pills or Lozenges, on receipt of SI.OO. For the cure of Kiduey Complaints, either sex, the Compound has no rival. Send stamp for “ Guide to Health and. Ktiquette,” a beautiful illustrated book. Lydia E. Pinkham Med. Co.. Lynn, Mats. -VASELINE 7 FOR A ONE-DOLLAR BILL sent us by mail We will deliver, tree of all charxes. to any person in the United States, all of the following articles, carefully packed: One two-ounce bott’e of Pure Vaseline.. 10 eta. One two-ounce bottle ot Vaseline Pomade.... 15 • One jar of Vaseli- e Cold Cream 15 • One cake of Vaseline Camphor Ice 10 • One cake of Vaseline S -ap. unscented 10 * One cake of Vaseline Soap, exquisitely scented 2S “ One two-ounce bottle-qf White Vaseline 25 * JLIO Or, for postage stamps, any single article at the pries named. On no account he persuaded ta accept from your druggist any V'tselitie or preparation, therefrom unless labeled :cit.h uur mime, because you wilt certainly receive dn imitation which has little or no value. Cbesebrouxli Mfg. Co., 24 State SL. N. Y. MfiTHE WONDERFUL Iz* V ingsarticles)B tNITURE. A *° 1 WHEEL w e retail at tno lowest ; wholesale factory p DCp j and ship roods to be Fllut paid for on delivery. OUIIS Send stamp for Cate- 'odUJT/l logue. JVame good* D<IJTK KT* LUBUBCI MFG. CO., 14& N. Sth SU I PCTZIZI3 ?E2mXB. ha (PATKNTXD.) The strongest and purest Lye re made. Will make the BEST Perfumed Habd Soap in twenty minutes without boiling. It in the best for diainfecting sinka, closets, drains, washing bottlee. barrels, paints, etc. PENNA SALT MANUF’G. CO.. Gen. Agfa., Pbila., Pa, ASTHMA. Popham's Asthma Specific Gives immediate relief. It is believed to be the Beet ASTHMA Remedy known to humanity. As evidence vaa give a Trial Package FREE. Sold by Druggists, bent by mail, postpaid, for SI per Box. Address THOS. POPHAM. 2001 Ridge Avenue. Philada. PENSIONS! The Disability Bill is a law. Soldiers disabled sines the war are entitled. Dependent widows and parents now dependent whose eons died from effects ot army service are included. If you wish yo-ir claim speedMUted. address JANES TANNER Late Commissi on er of Pensions. ■ASIINSTQI. I. C. YOUR BOY WANTS Our Illustrated CATALOGUE ot Scroll Saws, Designs, Magic Lanterns. Skates Boxing Gloves, etc. M/MP S9*Seud stamp tor our No. 200 MBTlqa Catalogue. OfaTHE JOHN WILKINSON CO., 269 A 271 State St, Chicago. HL CH, ,^ CO MAGIC LANTERNS. CATARRH