Decatur Daily Democrat, Volume 56, Number 121, Decatur, Adams County, 22 May 1958 — Page 10

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Office Grouch Says Fashions Hilarious Says Females Hit Hilarity Summit By DOC QUTGG United Press Staff Correspondent NEW YORK (UP)—“l’ve been looking around on the street, taking a sort of woman-in-the-street

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survey.” said Wilbur, our office grouch, “and it seems to me that the female of the species has now reached the summit of hilarity.” What’s so funny, Wilbur? “The way she’s dressing, dopey, don’t you ever look?” Not too often. What’s with her clothng? “Comedy,” said Wilbur. “High comedy in part, and slapstick in part. Talk about the decline in comedians on television. What they should do is get a bunch of women in their new duds and let them walk aound on television. |

It’d be the funniest program you could get ” Just what are they wearing that’s so funny? ’ Heels SUlt-Uke ,) ‘‘Arrow-sharp-pointed toes and ten-penny-nail heels,” said Wilbur, “and the heels are so stiltlike that the dames* ankles shimmy and quiver trying to maintain equilibrium when the foot is planted on the floor or widewalk. The spike heels are so little thatthey get stuck in the holes in rubber matting; they go right through gratings; they get

THE DWCAWB BM|LY DEMOCRAT, DECATUB, INDIANA

wedged in escalator step troughs and sidewalk cracks. "Before long they ard going to have to have rescue units poised to go to the aid of women stuck and in distress. And some of the new sack dresses are so tight around the knees that the wearers cpuld loco mo t e faster if they'd keep their feat together and hop, pogo-styla. “And as iong as I’in on the sack dress topic, it is an actual fact that these things now have silly-appeal.” What appeal?

Styles Have Silly-Appeal “Silly-appedl is what I said. A woman told me the other day that she went in a store and looked at the sacks, and here's what she said: ‘They were so silly that I bought one just for fun—you feel so silly in them.' Now, I claim that s true comedy—like Ed Wynn’s silly shoes and hats, or Harpo Marx’s wig. “And then there are the colored stockings you're starting to see now. Pale green, blue. Ugh. They look unhealthy ” Sometimes Wilbur lets his posi-

tve thinking take him into dangerous ground. Someday he may get a spike heel planted in him. Duke Slept Here SOUTH RANDOLPH, VL-—. UH — A sign reading “The Duke of Kent slept here,” could be placed on a brown frame house that has stood in this village since 1781. One night in 1791 it sheltered the Duke of Kent, who later became the father of Queen Victoria.

Squirrel Tale SALT LAKE CITY — UH — Mr. apd Mrs. Richard Andrews set out tt> find what happened to a package of nuts they had purchased, discovered them under the house, neatly cached in the nest of their pet squirrel. The largest county in the United States is San Bernardino, Colif. It has 20,131 square miles. The second largest county is Coconino in Arizonia, with'lß,s73 square miles.

THUySDAx

The Shakes 7 TRENTON, N. J. — M — Gue Rose, owner of a diner, told police that a thief not only took $16.75 in cash and merchandise from his place but also took the liberty of mixing himself several milkshakHen House Theft MASSENA. N. Y. — (IB — Elmer Kirkey told state police a thief stole about $7,500 he had stored for. safe keeping in the hen house ventilator.