Decatur Daily Democrat, Volume 7, Number 303, Decatur, Adams County, 24 December 1909 — Page 3

V The El»p"«r»i. <»«,»ng#. tn the a«i»l>l.mni|.n,v «.r Mr. Lindley Murray n passage <«-eur« from wbicti It appe |irN 11,1 of the clearest beads that ever engaged In the bualnesw of analysis was well nigh cracked by a iltnple agent tor a email offense, jn the year 1771 he visited the elepbaiil* nt H"' queen’* palace and, from whatever motive, ventured to withdraw n portion of the hay which one of them had been collecting with bls proboscis on the floor. The little atfront offended the sagacious animal highly. The keeper remarked that he would never forget, and It was obvious from the rapid convolutions of his trunk that he only wanted an oppor tunity to avenge the misappropriation of bls property on the spot. The grammarian. however, kept out of his way. probably thinking no more of the matter. until ho chanced to revisit the same place after an interval of several weeks. On this occasion a number or other persons were present, but of the whole the elephant singled out his enemy nnd aimed a desperate blow at his head, which, fortunately, neither proved fatal nor took effect.

CHRISTMAS BUYING! I TIME IS HERE. I g I H WE ARE READY WITH COMPLETESTOCKS | Every one is thinking of buying some little token to give at p O X’mas time to make home a happy place on this day to make O the little ones overflow with joy and Father, Mother, Brother, h Sisteror some dear friend feel as though they had a dear friend g 8 We are in position to supply your wants wite useful pres 1 ents I H Big Cut Sale on Winter Ellis, Fills, Fill's | B Coats and Suits, Right at — p _ . i In this line we are in a position to show you all 2$ th6 Season *v hen you need Classes and grades of furs from the smallest children’s sets to the most expensive furs for ladies and O then]. misses - IB «. All $30.00 suits rin Black Coney Muff B ■ thissale. . -510 (inn I gj ite at . sls HUU I $16.00 suits at ft H Brown Coney Muff and thissale * -7 /• I wwk * “is Cut in SI 50 “ 4 50 I Prices on ▼ ,l i.wj® A: 1 I nnff Mink Muffs and ,C ’ > IVK WW <Wy h. 0 Scarfs from WI a I i < s3’s' 10 JI iwj jjoSTs2B coats nn Is Si® I fwwjfito I O * $22 coats 5|E fiO V W || a» this sale OIJiUU _ ===x==z: . - ■ ■Tn TO r^^ E == H SIB.OO coatsjthis sale S'3-50 g ee ollT liRB before yoU g I ... •■ ■' -•Voo make your purchase. | $12.50 coats this sale We can Please You p O SIO.OO coats this sale ' T ® unru’M n’c winter coats will be sold at sacn- our Store your headquarters. Leave ■ “.X -- - -—•* | SSS? no old coats to show. Al ar ping. |ffi l|ji and are up-to-date. 111 """''■■Wg gs S _, „„=onf« A few suggestions what to buy g; fi ' Useful Xmas pi>_ d Fancy Belts, Nobby Purses, 1 B Fa S cy vS S Fancy Barrettes, New Combs, Lunch Cloths g Belt Buckles, lancy p ress Goods, Linen Napkins, Set Table Linens, Ladies Skirts, Childrens Furs, Fancy g I 'nMJCK & COMPANY j

one^A 8 “5” Sald a l> hUo *opber, “U two X’nh 1 ’ hM ,he cholce of .hL ~ choow » b °tb and liaugg •bout waiting for more!” Th# Chief# Error. Ooron was chief of the Paris police when the following Incident took place-Inl-rlmi" n" 1 Wr “ teU a book ll,P,tft « _n irlmlnaihv among women, so runs vvroA 10 ?' ai "‘ “ Wl,s bnlsbed with- ,0 ’° r ' ,n t 0 Hend blm "forthmnn POrtralt ‘‘ ° f Parlf,l »® WO dan criminals. Anxious to please the stort7; P acka « e waa made up and ?he > t ° U * S ,0 ~a|y - v ’bo» tne book came out Lombroso sent a copy, handsomely bound, to tioron, who saw his gift acknowledged on the first page, "it was a scholarly book.” said the chief, "and would have had a large sale but for an error on my part. The pictures came out of the wrong drawer of my desk. They were not criminals at all. but women who had applied for hucksters’ licenses, and a new edition had to be printed to make good a police mistake.”

Hazing. Hazing is an indetlnute and inexplicable something. When we are called tiefore the faculty we deny the existence of the word. We call it genUe horseplay. Nevertheless hazing, whatever it is, fills its place in man’s life. The wonderful state of sophomorehood would be lost if not for it. What would become of our great Military academy at West Point if It were not for hazing? There are three great periods of hazing in man’s life—first the green apple period, then the college period and finally the married period, which, we are told, is one continuous round of hazing on both sides. Hazing is an educational and desirable experience for those wishing to become slaveholders, superintendents of gangs, divorce seekers and fathers of large families. What is the greatest press agent of this age? Hazing. Look at the free advertising different colleges receive every year. Hazing is also very helpful to those wishing to test the strength of baseball clubs, fence pickets und bricks.— Rutirprs Tnrinim

Lets Him Out. Mrs. Nagger—Oh. James, how awkward! Mr. Smith has come, and now we shall be thirteen at table. Mr. Nagger—What then? Mrs. Nagger (with a shriek)—Why. one of us will die before the year is out! Mr. Nagger (brutally)—Never mind; I’m tough. —London Pick-Me-Up. A Cut# Child. “Every time the baby looks into my face he smiles,” said Mr. Meekins. “Well,” answered bls wife, “it may not be exactly polite, but it shows he has a sense of humor.” Gallant. Beautiful Widow—Do you know. I am forty years old today. Gallant Bachelor—Madam, you are just twenty. I never believe more than half of what I hear. Reckless Driving. "What is the matter with your wife? I see she’s got her hand in a sling.” “Reckless driving.” "Horse?” “No; nail.”

AN UP TO DATE SANTA CLAUS By SUSAN BROWN ROBBINS. PAUL FLETCHER was in the drawing room waiting for Lida to come. Lida lived with her brother, and every time Fletch er called to see her either the brother’s wife or his children were in the room, so there was never a chance to say anything to her alone. At last, however, his opportunity had come, it was the day before Christmas, and .Mrs. Safford and the children had gone to her mother’s for several days. Now, witls Lida left at home with the two servants and her brother not coming till evening, Fletcher could say to her those things he had been longing to say. but which be could not bring himself to write in a letter nor to declare before the assembled family. At length, after what seemed a very long waiting, some one was coming. He stood up and looked eagerly toward the doorway. The portiere was thrust aside, and in walked TeddyTeddy. who, in ,'letcber's opinion, was the worst pill in the whole box as far as staying power and keen observation were concerned. "Hello, Teddy,” he said, not very cordially. "I thought you had gone to spend Christmas with your grandma.” “I didn’t go.” said Teddy. “Do you expect a visit from Santa Claus tonight?” “Ob. I s’pose so,” wearily. “I’d just like to see him, though!” His manner grew more animated. “Why, what would you do?” “I'd tell him what I think of him.” “And what is that?” “Oh, that I think he's a fraud! Pretending he comes in a sleigh when the ground has been bare for a month! And reindeers too! Who does bethink is going to believe that? Why doesn’t he come on a bicycle?” “His fur overcoat would be rather in the way,” said Fletcher gravely. “And FT 1 / J I it UT ]> ? ' I FT Ii x MM ——yi SANTA CI.A US STOOD BHVOAU HIM. he's pretty old. too, and maybe doee not know how to ride, and. besideet how would bo bring the preeeata?” “What’s the use of preeeula. a#grway? I never have anything tW» any good.” “I think you have the blue* today,” ■aid Fletcher, and then be did noe ■peak again, though l\»ddy tried to draw him •util# aeemed to bo in a beowa akndy, and nothing roused him tfU Lida •atne In, and even than he did not say trnd and stayed only a abort time. It was in the eveninc that a «a»d was brought to Teddy. Ou it wa» written "Santa Qaua.” Teddy's ayee ■parkied. “Tell him to eoane to,” be ■aid grandly. A moment Inter Skuita ("tens Btood before hdin, a tall, fur etod flgnro with flowing hair and beard. Teddy •tax* hands and Introduced tho gtwaX to Ite aunt. “Did yon find ft wood etetgtiingr Teddy asked. “And how a»e the reindeers?” “T did not com© on> runners, young man.” said Santa Claus. “Perhaps you did not know that there is no snow oo the ground.” “Bicycle?” asked Teddy. “No; I came in a motor carriage.” “A motor carriage!” cried Teddy incredulously. Then he ran to the window and looked out. “It Is, Aunt Lida,” he said excitedly, coming back. “You can see it just as plain out under the electric light.” “I did not bring you any presents," ■aid Santa Claus, “as I heard you did not care for them, but I would like to take you for a little ride, if your aunt will go too. I came early,” glancing at the clock, "so that I can get back and attend to the boys and girls who like to have presents.” “Os course we will go,” said Teddy promptly. “I have never been in a motor carriage.” In a few moments the three were on their way, well protected from th© cold, bracing air by an abundance of furs and wraps. There was no moon, but after the lighted streets of the town were past the stars shone down on them brightly. Teddy was wild with delight, and his tongue ran on rapidly. At length there were occasional pauses, then longer ones interrupted by disjointed remarks. Finally there was total silence. Fletcher bent over so that he could see the child’s face; then he looked at Lida and smiled. They went on for a little In silence.. Fletcher was trying to compose his speech. . |

“I don’t know how to say IL” he burst out desperately at length. “I keep forgetting how I look, and If I say It the way I want to It will be perfectly ridiculous. And yet 1 must say it, for I may never have another chance." She was looking at him, her startled eyes dark and luminous In the starlight. “Perhaps you do not need to say it.” she said gently. “Do you mean that you understand without my telling you?" he asked eagerly. “Yes,” she answered very low. When they reached the house Fletcher took Teddy In bls arms and carried him In. He laid him gently on the coach in the hall and turned away, thiuking the child still slept. "I enn stop only a momenL” Fletcher said, "is it lute?” At that Instant Teddy sat bolt upright. staring about him wildly. He caught sight of his father in an adjoining room. “Oh, papa!" he cried, his voice ringing out clear and shrill. “Oh, papa, Santa Claus is kissing Aunt Lida!”— Boston Herald.

THAT CHRISTMAS PIE. Confession of the Sinner Who Doctored the Minceweat. It had been our family custom to put brandy in all the mince pies and to put in at Christinas time a sufficient amount to enable the partakers thereof to detect that there was really something in it. it often went so far as to deserve the remark of my grandfather that we put mince pie in our brandy. With this as the family precedent imagine the consternation when it was learned that Rev. Jeremiah Scroggins, our new minister and an avowed teetotaler, bad accepted mother’s invitation to Christmas dinner. A vote was taken nt the family table (we were a democratic household), and It was decided that out of respect to our guest the brandy would be omitted from the big mince pie. Now, each of us in his heart of hearts felt that the pie would be improved if just a wee bit of brandy were added. So I, for one, resolved to do the deed. Accordingly I sought out the big stone crock in which reposed the mincemeat and poured in what I thought was a moderate quantity of brandy. It’s wonderful how true is the adage about great minds running in similar

channels, for every other member of the family, including my father, surreptitiously did the same thing. Later we figured that the mincemeat must have been treated to nigh unto a quart. Mother reserved her brandy until Christmas day, when, before the pie was baked, she added a generous amount of the strong stuff. With heart# as high as the flaky pie erust itself wa all watched mother carve that pla and aerv« it Th» Rav. Jaremiah Scroggins, because of an •zpraased foßiiuoss for pie. was given a big portion. No sooner Lad we tasted of the fine dish than we discovered that that pie was nothing short of a small sized dis tlllery. It was brandied as no other pie bad boon since the birth of time. You can imagine the cold ehills which went round ttut festal board as we watched the Rev. Jeremiah begin to oat. I believe I actually ahtvered as the flrot forkful wont moutbward. The fl ret mouthful was followed by a second and the second by a third. Finally be bad finished the whole portion. and be settled back tn ifls chair. Wo saw bo wae a bit embarrassed and expected a real old faahlcnod temperance lecture right then and there. The Rev. Jeremiah Scroggins cleared hte throat, aiui. taming to mother, ■aid “Ah ee my good sister, permit no to ooasplimaat you -poll the exoelleneo of thia pie. It has a most doiicloua flavor. I eonfetM I never tasted any tiling Uko it. Would you think me overbold if I asked for another piece?"—New York Mall and Ex-

Bear Up Gracefully. Don't take the tone that you are "cut up” if acme one for whom you have nothing gives you a present. The thing is not supposed to be a matter of bargaining. Preserve a decent semblance of a Christmas spirit nnd repay the obligation, not by a tardy responding gift, but in some other way at some other time, if you want. to. ' What Might Have Been. “That man Bittiu lacks courage and energy.” “Yes, confound him!" "Why do you say that?” “Because he was courting my wife long before I met her. If he bad had a little more courage and energy— But what’s the use of talking about It now ?” Well He Knew. Emperor Francis of Austria and his empress once attended the performance of a play which abounded in political allusions. On leaving the theater he remarked good naturedly, "We may congratulate ourselves on having seen the piece at ail, for I am sure that it will be speedily forbidden.” The Quest of the Auto. Mrs. Newlywed—l am boplnp ana praying that my hubby will give me an auto for Christmas. Her Friend—How long are you marric< 1 ? Mrs Newlywed—Six months. Her Friend—Well, hoping and praying may fetch ft this year, but next year it will have to be sobbing and jawing--Jmlga. |

SOME EARNEST HOLIDAY DON'TS DON’T think that you are too poor to keep Christmas. You can’t be so poor ns all that. Don’t spend so much on Christmas that you can’t get even with the butcher and grocer until March. Don’t give presents that are n pleasure for ten minutes amt a burden and a worry for ten years. Don’t, young women, buy neckties for your men folk; don’t encourage them in being bigger guys than necessary. Don’t give a drum to the children of your enemy who works nights. A watchman's rattle is just ns good, and it is cheaper. Don't give your wife something she doesn’t care for just because you want it yourself. This “don't” works the other way just as well. Don’t forget that a basket of fruit or a box of flowers is just as nice a present In many cases as something that will last a good deal longer. Don't try to find the price marks on the gifts you receive. If the gifts are worth having they mean something above dollars and cents. Don’t forget the Bob Cratchlts and the Tiny Tims—that is. unless you are unregenerate Old Scrooge, in which case forgetfulness can be explained. Don’t put off everything to the last, because you had better for the joy of your friends give nothing than wear yourself out and be as cross as two sticks when the blessed day comes. Don't waste any of your pity on the long haired youths who lie at the bottom of the heap in football scrimmages. You will need all your pity for yourself in the rush at the holiday counter. Don’t check off each gift you receive against each present that you gave and calculate whether you made or lost. Christmas Is not the time to be any smaller or meaner than you can help. Don't oppress children who are satiated to sadness with toys already by giving them more. There are other ways of making them happy, or if there are not it is because they are spoiled with many pleasures nnd are the most pitiful beings alive. In that case let then) try doing something for poor children, who are blessed In powers of enjoyment, and see if the capacity won’t prove catchbig. Don’t neglect, if you are a woman, to lay in a stock of some simple things like handkerchiefs and sachet bags for unexpected emergencies if you like to meet various people with a reasonable token. Don’t set your own happiness up ns the chief thing to be looked out for at Christmas time. Try to make other people h#ppr and forget yourself, then you will be surprised to »ee how really happy yon are. Don’t glv# a book to a man with a big library era picture to the man who roakaa a specialty of the fine arts unlan you know pretty well what he want# T#n to one he’d rather do the bnytag »f auch things for himself. Don’t writ* your name or anybody elM’a oa earda if yon send them. No one ean keap a lot of such truck, and it ia often highly convenient just to ■end them on their travels to carry C'Jirirtraaa greeting to other people. And why not?— Buffalo Kxprew

Hawaiian Chroma*. BtHte era ringing •▼•rywhape, a»*rry (AHBatmaa Flowara are •ho wing baautMs rare. Marry, happy Chrtartmaa! Bera tn eeean girflad beaaa. Kara In pleasant trapla sone. ’Mea<h a glorious rumnaar "M Conrath merrv Chrlattna* Day whMi rtvwth !•? *» «®. Happy, marry Chrtatmaa! Poor and rich and graft* of small Marry, happy Chrlafmcat Day whan angel voices e«.n Praise lo him. the Lord ot all, And peace. gov! will, to mankind fall On every merry Christmas. Santa Claus comes here alway Every merry Christmas, Sana the reindeer, sans the sleigh Os the lang syne Christmas. Here la neither frost nor snow, Here but pleasant trade winds blow Here Is paradise below And a morry Christmas. e Hawaii's homes send forth today “A merry, happy Christmas!" To the loved ones far away, “A happy, merry Christmas!*’ May the God child's natal day Be a happy one alway. From sorrow free and every way A merry, merry Christmas! —Paradise of the Pacific. For the Iconoclast. •Don’t let your little ones Into the secret that Santa Claus is an Impostor. Let them figure out for themselves how a fat man with a big pack can get into the parlor grate through the chimney of a modern house heated by steam. Imagination is a quality desirable to cultivate. A Monumental Bull. At Kilkenny castle may be seen a I ••monumental” Irish bull in the form > of a tombstone erected to the memory of a former retainer of the Ormonde family. The stone bears the truly Hibernian inscription. “Erected by John Toole In Memory of His Posterity.”— Britannia Magazine. His Smoke. Mr. Fijit—l say, that’s the worst tobacco I ever smoked! Mrs. Fijit—Oh, George, you're smoking my fancy silk! 1 pCt it in your tobacco jar to keep it safe. ;*