Decatur Daily Democrat, Volume 6, Number 298, Decatur, Adams County, 15 December 1908 — Page 6

I A Smoked Ham Diet 1 »in°ttZ!f ht ’ U ° B, by T - C - McClure.] Bill Scott, as he was familiarly called, was lazy and shiftless. Like all lazy men, Bill Scott had an appetite. His appetite also had a pref erence He loved oysters, chicken, porterhouse steak and clam chowder, b “ t . what he loved ab °ve all was smokHe liked it fried or boiled or baked, and he could never get enough of it. The only way he could get hain was to steal it, and many of the villagers and farmers objected to his midnight visits to their smokehouses. Among the objectors was the Widow Glenn, whd had a farm a mile away. She was also one of those interested in seeking to save Bill from himself. Perhaps she was the only woman in the 'world who would havp thought of combining ham with reform. The idea came to her in a dim, undefined way, but she kept at it until she worked it out. One day after being told by her hired man that he had seen Bill Scott scouting about the smokehouse the evening previous she entered into a little conspiracy. The door was left unlocked, the hired man hidden near by, and next night as Bill was taking a ham off its roost the door was slammed shut, and he found himself a prisoner. When morning came the widow drove to town to see Mrs. Glenn, and upon her return she visited the house of hams and said to the captive: “Os course you have nothing to say, except that you were walking in your sleep last night, but now that you are wide awake I have something to say to you. You like smoked ham. I am going to give you all you want of it. Today you will eat it uncooked. Tomorrow you shall have it fried.” A chair and a jug of water were brought in, he was furnished with a knife and the door locked on him. and he proceeded to enjoy himself. He ate and he loafed and he slept. There were twenty smoked hams hanging: above him and giving out their de-! licious odor, and why should he weary 1 his brain trying to solve national prob-■ lems? He didn’t Next morning the I widow appeared and asked him how he would like his ham cooked sor 1 breakfast. He said be would take It fried, and he got it that way and a jug of fresh water with it. At noon he had it boiled, and at night it was fried again. The amount was not stinted. There was more ham than he had ever sat down to in his life. The next day and the next It was the same. On the morning of the fourth day. however, the prisoner said to his jailer: “Widder Glenn, if you don’t mind I’ll have taters and fried eggs for breakfast.”

Only A Few Days Left Christmas. Xmas Will Soon Be Here j uxndl £a.^l- Junj/w During this joyful time a great many • cannot find a suitable present. We 4 have them in useful presents and at prices within the reach of all. ,X>aAUfel -XS' Helpful to You TgX 4 XT's In makin & your selection you will --■e’y . ... V\ find nobby new styles in our Immense vy ,y ~>■ stock of Dress Goods, Silks, Hosiery, I ZN?' ■<- * '•'-<<>! y / §) Kid Gloves, Nobby New Neckwear, Ift 11 'x Purses of every description, Umbrel111 ( VfUpT 70) Jg ~ y las, Stylish Jackets and Furs. 11 V sffl, fr /V : Visit our Handkerche W Departs.?: t * n this department will be found <SyA the largest open stock in this city \N\ ' f:om sc. to $2.50 each. Nothing is more appreciated than a nice lot or •€HEgfc L\*"-***' Ahandkerchiefs. vgfggKN ALWAYS ~ Make cur store your headquarters. /Hi THE I ' ~~~ ‘ " e can P lease y° u - A visit will con- * ’ vince you. NIBLICK & CO.

I •‘But I do mind.” was her reply.“Here are twenty smoked hams going to waste for the want of eating. You dote on ham. Pitch right in.” “But my wife must be anxious about me. and I want to be going home.” “Your wife knows just where yoU| are and is not at ail worried. She hopes you will have your fill of ham.” j Bill had raw ham. boiled ham. baked and fried ham, and he should have reveled in the occasion. It is human nature to never be satisfied, and after the fifth day he demanded a radical change i r diet, even if only to raw sausage. He had not tasted of the last two meals. “Oh, but you must go ahead with ham,’’ replied the widow. “You have not quite finished one yet, and there are nineteen others waiting to be eaten. Your second appetite may come back to you any minute.” “I’d like to live on old crusts of bread for a change, ma’am.” “But I couldn’t think of it. You are a visitor, you know, and I should be i ashamed of myself to offer you crusts.” I At supper that night Bill begged for raw turnips Instead of smoked ham.; At breakfast next morning he offered I to eat potato peelings. The widow was firm. “Mr. Scott.” she replied. “I don’t 1 think yon are at all grateful. I am furnishing you the nicest and sweet-' est smoked ham in all Herkimer county, and yet you kick at it.” “But smoked ham for five days, ma’am,” he protested. “But I’m giving you the chance of your lifetime. Think of being surrounded with eighteen and a half hams!” “Hams and water, ma’am!” "Yes, but I’m giving you a chance to get acquainted with water—to acquire a taste for it.” Ham on the sixth day, the seventh and the eighth. The widow was bringing more ham when Bill Scott broke down and said: “I’ll sign the temperance pledge, ma’am, and if I don’t keep it this time may I be sent to prison for the remainder of my days.” “And about people’s chickens and garden stuff. Mr. Scott?” “May I be struck dead if I ever meddle with them again!” “And work, Mr. Scott—what about work?” “I’ll work like a nigger. Only try me.” , "You have only been shut up eight days, and there’s eighteen hams still left.” mused the widow. “Can a man reform on two smoked hams?” “He can, ma’am—he can. Give me a show, and if I disappoint you they may tar and feather me.” And through the aid of smoked ham there was accomplished such a change and reformation In Pill Scott as men had deemed impossible, and today his shortcomings are remembered only as

legends. He has worked hard and prospered.and aside from hfs antipathy for smoked ham there is nothing to distinguish him from the other villagers. M. QUAD. DEADLY POISONS. One Whiff of Pure Prussic Acid Is Sufficient to Kill. The discoverer of prussic acid was instantly killed by inhaling one whiff of his own handiwork. Pure prussic acid is never sold or handled. The smell of it is always fatal. It kills not in three minutes or half an hour, but the instant it enters the lungs as a gas. The mixture ordinarily sold as prussic acid is 98 parts water to two parts of the drug. Even in this form it is very deadly. A2O per cent mixture of the acid would kill nearly as quickly as if pure. Atropine, though it has no harmful odor, is so deadly that as much of it as would adhere to the end of a moistened forefinger would Instantly cause death. Cyanide of potassium has a pleasant smell which is not Injurious,' but a small quantity swallowed kills at once. Pure ammonia if Inhaled would cause death almost as quickly as prussic acid. When a carboy of nitric acid is broken some one has to suffer. It will burn wood, eat through iron plates and destroy whatever it touches. Such an accident once happened in an acid factory. Every one ran away, leaving the acid to amuse itself by setting fire to things. Soon it was seen that the building would be destroyed and hundreds of people thrown out of work, and four men volunteered to put out the fire in the acid room. They succeeded and came out all right. Five hours later all were dead. His Gallantry. “See that man who just gave his seat to a young woman?” queried an elevated railroad passenger. “Queer case that Never encountered one before just like it “He’s not a New Yorker, he is not a ready maker of friends, and he is so diffident where women are concerned that he really has not one among his acquaintances, with the possible exception of a landlady and a laundress. “Yet the fellow has a longing for feminine recognition. I happen to know that he always relinquishes his seat to a woman where the opportunity is presented, and I also know that his only reason for doing so Is the hope of receiving a smile and a •Thank you’ in return. It’s like a bone to a hungry dog. Queer case, don’t you think?”—New York Globe. Over and Under. Archie is fairly going crazy over his new motor.” “That’s strange. Every time I’ve seen him he has been going crazy under it” ’

A FATAL CARD. How It Killed the Religious Depart* merit of the London Times. When the Thunderer decided to devote one or more of its columns dally to an ecclesiastical department all England sat up and admired. The man chosen to conduct the column was a rather elderly and occasionally convivial younger son who for years had contributed church news to the paper, but had never dreamed that be should attain the extreme honor of actually becoming one of the editors of the Thunderer, that world shaking power. The promotion went to his head, made him dizzy. He saw himself a power in the land, one who perhaps would make or unmake ecclesiastical dignitaries. On the morning of the announcement of the new venture the new incumbent came into town on his usual train from Surbiton, his head swimming with delight At the foot of Ludgate hill he met an old friend, whom he forthwith led into the Green Dragon bar. “Arthur,” said he, “we really must celebrate. What d’ you suppose has happened? Oh, you’d never, never dream it! Look! What d’ you say to that, old boy?” “That” was a newly engraved card on which appeared this announcement: MR. CECIL APPLEBY BOTSFORDHETHERINGTON. Ecclesiastical Editor, The Thunderer. “My word, old chap, it’s the most delightful news I’ve heard in an age!” cried his friend. “Let’s have just one more. Here’s to you! Success!” Before he reached Temple Bar the ecclesiastical editor had met five other friends. To the fifth he observed: ”D’ ye know, Ned, with that card I could call on the ar-archbish’p ’f Canterbury. Yes. He’d see me immediately. Won’erfl card this. Indicates position ’f strordinary responsibility ’n’ dignity.” Halfway to the office of the Thunderer Mr. Botsford-Hetherlngton hailed a hansom. “Have you,” he inquired, with much gravity—"have you a fast and well appointed cab? Yes? Very well, then. You may drive me to Lambeth palace.” At the palace a footman took one of the new cards and conducted the owner of it to a pleasant reception room, where he snuggled in a vast chair and instantly went to sleep. The archbishop of Canterbury happened to be very busy with his chaplain, but at the sight of the card he felt sure that something of Importance was at hand and sent his chaplain to inquire. That tall, slender, dark, ascetic gentleman strode slowly to the reception room and after a slight but decorous struggle succeeded in waking the caller. “His grace,” said the chaplain, "begs to know how he can serve the Thunderer?” “Tell his grace,” responded Mr. Bots-ford-Hetherington, "that I’m awf’ly busy thinking and I’m sorry I shan’t be able to see him till tomorrow. Very sorry.” Forthwith be relapsed into slumber. Two sturdy men deposited him in his fast and well appointed cab and ordered the driver to deliver him at the office of the Thunderer. There the ecclesiastical editor and the ecclesiastical department simultaneously vanished. — Harper’s Weekly.

Truth Versus Politeness. Ethel was going to take supper with a little friend. "Now. dear," said her mother, "when you are leaving you must bid Marian's mamma good night and tell her you have had a very pleasant time.” When the little girl returned her mother asked if she had done as she told her. "Not ’zactly, mamma,” was the reply. “Marian took the biggest piece of the apple and spilled lemonade on my new dress, so 1 couldn’t say what you told me, but I told her mother good night and said I guessed Marian had had a very pleasant time.”—Judge. Called Him In Writing. A tourist in an out of the way region of England put up one night at an amiable old lady’s cottage, the village inn being full. Now. the tourist was very deaf, which fact he took pains to Impress upon the old lady, together with instructions to wake him at a particular hour in the morning. On waking a good deal later than the time appointed he found that the amiable old lady, with commendable regard for propriety, had slipped under his door a slip of paper on which was written: “Sir. it is half past 8!” —Harper’s Weekly. Her Husband’s Business. “Now, madam,” said the gas man with the gray curl in the middle of his forehead after he had asked her twenty questions more or less apropos of her application for the privilege of paying for gas, “what is your husband’s business? What is he doing now?” “I can’t be sure, of course,” the woman replied, “but I have my suspicions. I had to divorce him before he died.”—New York Press. A Stinging Retort. Wax Bead (proudly)—l am going in a necklace which I am assured cannot be told from real pearls. Brass Ring (sarcastically)—Aw. they’re stringing you.—Baltimore American. As a Caution. Weeks—The true American always saves the under dog in the fight Wise —Yes, and then gives him a swift kick for being chump enough to get into it —Boston Transcript In Infants levity is a prettiness, in men grown a shameful defect, but in old age a monstrous folly.

Z CHRISTMAS PRESENTS g —We have quite a line of them such as — Silver Knives and Forks, Rogers 1847, Desert and Table Spoons, Soup and Gravy Ladles, Berry and Tea Spoons, Jelly Knives and Child’s Sets. Carpet Sweepers, the best made THE CELEBRATED “SAVORY ROASTER” to roast your Christmas dinner with New Home Sewing Machines, Paragon Washing Machines, Boy’s and Girl’s Skates. A complete line of Graniteware, first quality, also some second quality and at prices that are right. Come in and inspect our goods. LAMAN & LEE Headquarters for the Best of Everythingun Their Line

vk xn! The cleanest- ' \ lightest.-and \7\ A ' , g most comfortable \ SLICKER > r '\\ at the same time /B I cheapest in the vk / I end because it wears longest *3QO Everywhere Every garment guar- 1 'Av anteed waterproof X 4J Catalog free “ » j -Owen CO eosrow'u si ’Owes CANAD’AN CO LIM'TED TORONTO CAN P. J. HYLAND SANITARY PLUMBING Gas Fitting, Steam and Hot Water Heating, Gas and Combination Fixtures 23 Monroe St. Phone 356 Peerless Crushed Oyster Shells Advantages Gained by the Use of It. It acts as grit and prevents “cholera.’’ It keeps the poultry healthy. It makes hens lay an egg per day. It prevents soft shell eggs. It makes the egg shell strong enough to carry without breaking. It contains many essential components of the egg. It makes eggs larger and heavier. Every poultry house or yard should have a pan or trough full, so that the fowls can have access to them at all times. For sale wholesale or retail by J. D. HALE 201 South Second St. *************** % * * The Most Complete # * Line of High Grade # * ♦ * Smoking - Chewing * * Carried in the city at * * T.C. Corbett’s * * Cigar Store * * ♦ ♦»♦♦♦♦********* J- D. HALE Seed*,’ Feed, Wool, Salt and Cml, Portland Cement, Rock Wall Pl*» ter, Unw and Fertilize**. Garden seeds in bulk, Lawn Gram Seed, Flower Seeds and Bulbs. Feed wad Coal delivered. Phone 8. 201 *. Second Stree* Feed Perless Crushed Oyster shells to raise poultry and eggs i>rofltably. For sale at all drug stores and at Hale’s warehouse. 284-12 t

000000000000000000000000 | SUGGESTIONS ° O 0 o For Christmas Presents o o 0 O to be found at Lehne's Jewelry Store and you have ? ° not much more time to do your shopping, so be U G wise and do it now. ® O 0 O JEWELERY 0 O 0 O of all descriptions in Solid Gold and best of plate 0 O watches in the newest and most artistic design, for 0 O ladies and gents, chains, lockets, brooches, toilet 0 O articles, manicure sets, to be appreciated must be 0 O seen. So come in and let us show you. No trou- 0 O ble to show goods. Don’t forget our 0 q China and out glass \ O it is of the best hand-painted and cut, and at prices 0 O that will astonish you. 0 O We will lay anything away and will not cost you any more than 0 0 if you wait. Q O 0 0 All Engraving Free q ® If you wish one of our calerdars leave your name as the supply ® O is limited. 0 O 0 oW. L LEHNF Jeweler’ O 0 000000000000000000000000

000000000000 O o O FIRST o O NATIONAL O O BANK O o -— o O Decatur, Indiana O O O O Capital ' O O SIOO,OOO O O Surplus O O $20,000 O o o O Interest Paid on O O Deposits O O O 000000000000 DR. J. M. MILLER Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat Treated EYES TESTED A GLASSES FITTED '220 South Second St. Decatur J. t. COVERDALE, K. D. EARL G. COVERDALE, M. D ®yt>, Ear, Nos* and Throal Spueiallßt kyee tested. Glaaew Fittef Drs. J. s. Coverdale and Sun Office 118% 2nd Street Decatur, - Indiana FREE-lOe. package Laying Tonic and 25c. Book Brln | tc Smith, Yager A Fast. By ma} , 249-30 t

XMAS MOHif DON’T LET TH ECHRISTMAS STOCKINGS OF YOUR LOVED ONES GO EMPTY SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE SHORT OF MONEY. COME TO US. WE CAN HELP YOU FILL THEM. You can borrow what money you need on your household goods, planes, horses, wagons, fixtures, eitc. You can have from one to twelve months' time in which to pay it back. Our contracts are simple and ’ all transactions are dean cut and private. $1.25 per week for 50 week-' pays a $50.00 loan. All amounts in uropertion. If you need money' fill out the following blank, cut it out and mail it to us. Our agent will be In Decatur every Tuesday. Name Address Am’t Wanted Kind of Security Reliable PriTate FL Wayne loan Company Established 1896, Room 2- Sec ' ond floor, 706 Calhound street Home Phone 833. Fort Wayne, CHICHESTER'SfILLS wiui aw v