Crawfordsville Weekly Journal, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 6 February 1868 — Page 4

Pat and lh^ Deacon. a a a I a

°f aji^|Bcot,' li I., was traveling through tho western part of the State of New York ho fell-in with an Irishman who had lately arrived in this country, and was m'search of a brother who had come before him and settled in some of the diggings in tha.t part of tho coantiy.

Pat was a strong man, a true Eoman Catholic, and had never seeh the interior of a Protestant church. Ingalls was a pious man. IIo told Pat ho was going to church, and invited his newly made friend to accompany him thither, his destination being a small meeting house near by. There was a great revival there at that time, and one of tho deacons, who was a very small man in statuto, invited brother Ingalls to a seat in his pow He accepted the invitation, followed by Pat, who looked in vain for the altar, etc. After ho was seated he turned around lo brother Ingalls and in a •whisper that could be heard all around he inquired: "Sure, an' is'nt this a heretic church?' "Hush," said Ingalls, "if you speak a word they will put you out." "Divil a word will speak at all at all,'replied Pat.

The meeting was opened with prayer by the pastor. Pat was eyeing him very close!)', when an old gentleman, who was standing in the pew directly in front

tOi

pat, shouted

s,Amcn

"llist, ye divil!" rejoined Pat in his loud whisper,'which was heard by the minister "bo dacenl and don't make a blockhead of yourself."

The parson grew more fervent in his devotions. Presently the deeon uttored in an audible groan—"Amen "Hist,

blackguard Ilsive ye no

decency at all said Pat, at tho'same .time giving him a punch in the ribs, which caused him to loose his equili brium.

The'minister stopped, and extendinc his hands in a suppliant manner, Baid: "Brethren we cannot be disturbed in this way. Will some one put that man out?" "Ves, your reverence," shouted Pat, "I will do it."

And suiting the action to the world he collared the deacon, and to the s'utter horror of the pastor, brother

Ingalls, and tho whole congregation he dragged him up the aisle and with a tremendous kick sent him into the vestibule of tho church.

Josh Billings, the sober-sided philosopher, thus dilutes the subject ol '•Milk" in the i\r. Y. Weekly:

I want tew saj* sumihing (-'in petto.'7 I want ti*w say pumtliing erdre nous'") in reference,to milk az a lertel izer.

Milk is spontaneous ("semper para tus") and haz did more tew enenrrage the growth of the human fulks ("en passa?it") than enny other liquid.

Alilk is lacteal it is also aquaticlc. while under the patronage of milk venders.

Milk iz also misterious. ("Le n.of d'entqme.") Cokernut milk haz never bin soivfd yet.

Milk iz also another name for human kindness. Milk and bred iz a pleasant mixtur.

Sti \/. milk and rum (j Bon douche' ), "•mellow tew contend with in a hot da\ l("multum in parvo"). ("id est," "multiun" rum "in parvo milk.) iSumtiines it milk iz allowed tew ^stand too long ("Statu quo") a skutn arises tew the surface, (•'•passim") which iz apt tew skare folks who live in cities, hut if duz not fuller ("»on sequi tur") that th milk iz nasty. This sknm iz tailed cream by folks who in habit the kuntry.

Cream is tho parent, (-'pater familias'"i of butter, and butter iz 45 cents a pound 'ora pro nobis").

The most common milk in use with-, out doubt (-sans dout") is skim milk, skim milk is made by skimming tho milk ("inter nos") this iz considered sharp praktiss ("coup de main").

Milk iz obtained irom cows, hog?, •woodchueks, sheep, squirrels, rats, and awl other animals that wear hair.— Snaks and geeBO don't give milk ("lu-. susnatvnv 1 forgot tew state m: conclusion, ("ultima Thule"), that cow milk, if it iz well watered, brings 10 cents per quart ("Quod avertat JDeus").

Tho Wisconsin Legislature has passed strong resolutions indorsing tho reinstatement of Secrctar}' Stanton, and commending General Grant's coniluct in promptly yielding to the law making power.

MODEL SIGN.—An

ingenious cob

bier, says an exchange, who is noted as a man of very few words, whose conversation rarely extends beyond monosyllables, and who is very provi dent of even them, hit upon tho fol lowing plan to save expense in paint ine all the letters of '-Shoo Shop

SHO •1

is rumored that Seward has hit upon a projoct for settling all pur differences with tho British Government •without any danger or war. His plan is to purchase tho British islands complete. I

The Chicago Tirrfs is out for Pendleton for President, As the Times "J" not.long ago was in favor of negro suffrage, are we to infer that Pendle ton is all right on that question

General Kilpatrick is about to resign his mission to Chili, come home and take the stump for General Grant ^for President.

LOVE STORY—A

•named

Short, long loved a certain big

"'Mr. ittle, while Little', little thinking of Short loved a little lass named Lone la'mako a long^ story short,

Little proposed to Long, and Short longed to l)ecven with Little shoi t* comings. So Short, .meeting ,Long, threatened to marry Jjittle before long., whiclucaused Littlo in,jj short timo to

iroarrjrLong.'

THE KOWE MACHINE CO'S SEWING MACHINES,

099 &iRQ*W WJM NEW YORK.

FOR*' PAM!uisT WWti MANUFACTURERS.

These World Renowned SEWING MACHINES

Were awarded the highest premium at the World's Fair in London, and six first premiums at the New York State Fair of 1SG6, and Arc celebrated for doing the Jiesl work, using a much smaller needle for the same thrond than any otber machine, and by the introduction of the most approved machinery, i'"® now ftblo to supply ilio very best iliachiifes in tho world.

These machines ai*e siiitik at

our new and spacious Factory at Strirtprepari, Conn., under Hie imsmMliute supervision of the President of tBie Company, ELS

The Stitch invented by *Wr. ISO BfJv, and made on this *Machine, is the most popular and durable, and ail Saving' •.Machines are subject to the principle invented by him,

SE.N'D FOR CIRCULAR.

A N

GENERAL AGENT,

98 WASJHlXfiTOSr STREET,

THE REAL VELPEAH FEMALE PILLS.

[WARRANTED FRKKUH.]

THESE

In overcoming Female Obstructions, railing of the Womb, Whites, Green Sickness, Suppression, Retention, or Immoderate Flow of tb« Monthly Discharges, Nervous and Spinal Affections, Pains in the Back aud Limbs, latlgue on Slight Exertion, Palpitation of the Heart, Hysterics,

ic.,

and will effect a cure when all other

means have failed and, although a powerful remedy, do not contain jalornel, antimony, or anything.hurtful.'to the constitution.

To married ladies and young girls who naye never been regulated, they arc peculiarly suited. They will, in short time, hring on the monthly period with regularity.

CAUTION.—Married ladies should never taks them whon there is any reason to believe tbemBclvos pregnant, for they will bo sure to produce a niiscarriiigo.

These Pills are entirely safe, under all eireumjtnnces, being composed entirely of substance* from the vegetable kingdom.

Each bos has the coat of arms for the city or Paris stamped on thebox, with tho words^* Trade Mark,"' in French, to counterfeit which is a misdemeanor, and all persons will be dealt with according to law.

Full directions accompany each bos. Ladies can obtain a box, sealed from the cy®( tho curious, by enclosing one dollar and seven tnito stamps, to anv respectable druggist, or

to M. \V .-".CI: .M V, K, (jenir il A^ent for the I'nircd Statct: arid Cnnnrias, at Albany X. V., or Ii. K. Krout and Binford & Bxo., Crawfordsvillc, and Druggists everywhere.

October 3,'67-yl

s^HEMIOAI^-

.J?Aj NJ S.' 0,IS,

PY|E -STUF

^Wi wdow 'jCj

'0.

X'i

January 17, lfilw.

tall Eastern girl

The

DRY-GOODS.

,.v

HOWE, Jr., the original inventor

tlae griving- Machine. They arc adapted to all kinds of Fumiiy Sewing, and to the use of S«amstre.=ses, Dressmakers, Tailors, Manufacturers of Shirts, Collars, Skirts, Cloaks, Mantillas, Clothing, Hats, Caps, Corsets, Boots, Shoes, Harness, Saddles, Linen Goods, Umbrellas, Parasols, Jec. They work equally well upon silk, linen, woolen and cotton goods, with silk, cotton or linen thread. They will perform every species of sewing, making a beautiful an perfect stitch, aliko on both sides of tho article sewed.

r+-

I-S

Chicago, 511.

Ladies, Take Particular Notice.

".p

PILLS,

so celebrated

many years ago in Paris for the relief of female irregularitieBj and afterwards so rjotorionj for their cruiiiuS* employment in th# practice of abortion^ are now offered for

eale for the first time io America. They have been kept in comparative obscurity, from the fact that the originator, Dr. Velpeiu, Is ft physician in Paris, of great wealth and strict conscientious principles, and ha* witheld them from geueral use lest they should be employed for unlawful purposes. -•«,,»

P-

t-l.

ty.

Best Improvement the Jlge.

ELTZRQTH & BRITTON ARE

NOW ENrtAOED IN MANUFACTTRing tho Humphrey & Forbft Water Elevator, an article thnt surpns=es all pumjis and waterdrawing machinery ever introduced in tho West. They will soon be able to supply the wants of the people. It3 durability, snfety and ease of drawing water is just what all want. Call at the shop' and see them, at Doherty Co.'s Agricultural [pov.13iu3

Sdj j. .1 t.'i

Maj 23, I8B7. fnor8v5€:)'

COENEE

BOOK & STORE!

Miscellaneous, School, College, Blank, Gift, Toy, and all kinds of BOOKS.

Note, Papon

Bill, Cap, Letter, Note, Billet, Wall, Window, aud Wrapping Papers.

Ink, com]

Envelope?, Pens, Ink, Pencils, Slates, Ac., Ac.,

very largo and complete stock.

re Fr 1 Tas!

Pictures and Picture Frames, a large stock of Molding, Cord and Tassels.

nd W id pal

Window Curtains and Window Shades of all the different styles and patterns.

Arti see.

Notions and Fancy Articles, both useful and ornamental come and see.

tions plea

Toys of all descriptions bring in your chilj dren and they can be pleased.

man one

Pistols of the finest manufacture Cartridges, Ac., «le. If you neod one come in.

iterarj on

All the leading Literary Papers and Magazines kept constantly on hand.

amily ne an

Wilcox Gibbs' Family Sewing Machines.— The best. Ladies come and sea them.

Remember the "Corner Book Store." north west, corner Vornon and Green Streets, Craw fordsville, Indiana.

BOOTS & SHOES,

FOR FALL MD

W I N W E A S A.11 made expressly OR MY TRADE.

—TEEV ARE ALL—

FSfcST GQOS9S,

Custom and Eastern made and

LL WARRANTED

—I WILL BELL TIIEM—

10 PER CENT LESS

than any other Eousejn tto city.

COME & SEE!

THOS.

.V\ c:s

affso,

L. A. FOOTE Jc CO.

Nov. 8 186(5... rl9np.

lJM

KELLEY'S

^ETammoth Shoe House,

Opposite Masonic Hall,

CJRAWFOBDSVIDLE, INDIANA,

Is aow receiving

100 OASES

KELKY.

September 26, 1867, Smewrt.

CRAWFORD SViLLE^

WOOL EXCHANGE

AND

MANUFACTORY!

AT THE OLD SIGN OF

WOOL WANTED,

Lynn Corner, Crawfordsvillc.

^arOOL ROWERS, LOOK HERE, Examine our Stock and look for yourselves. The largest and best slock of

"VVOOLENS

wo have cvor offered to our trade, and oc better torms than for years. Warranted

NO SHODDY OR WASTE

Goods. Wc h.-ive a splendid stock of .?

SUMMER GOODS,

rsrajb

Sept. 2G,

COTTONADES.

SHEETINGS & SH1BTINGS, TRIMMINGS, &c.

COLORED AND WHITE

CAJRJPET YARNS,

that are good. Cotton Yarns, Batting, Jcc.

CARDING AND SPINNING

and Roll carding dono promptly and in order. Wool Rcceivcd at th® Factory or Storo for

change or work. S.

lytil 25,'Sf^T.

W 1

!67-grt

ex-_,

BILLS*

NO. 3, COMMERCIAL BfcOCK,

CBAWOHMILLE INDMA.

DRF-GIIODS

CASSIMER

DRESS GOODS,

WIIITE GOODS,

Balmoral & loop Skirts.

WEIjIA JMSSOStTJES? STOCK OFJDOJflliftTiCS,

ALSO, A FULL LINE OF

BOOTS, SHOES, HATS AND A PS Queenswaro and G-lass

at tbo^lowcst market price.

Nor. /. 1867. C.W.ELMORE.

CBAND OPEIIUW OF

FALL & WINTER GOODS!

J&. "37

l^Tans &, Hughes'

N 0. 5

National Block, Washinarton Street.

After selling at cost for the past 60 dajs,|our stock of Summer Gooda, and

all depreciated stock, we have replaced them with a

NEW AND DESIRABLE ASSORTMENT

OF STAPLE .ATsro

DRY GOODS AND NOTIONS.

Also, a large lot of

HATS, CAPS. BOOTS AND SHOES,

"Which wo arc prepared to offer

LOWER THAN OID GOODS AT COST!

Weave determined to sell CHEAP, as the NIMBLE DIME is preferred to the SLO QUAETER.

,*C':

CARRIAGE 'MANUFATCORY.

DOHERTY & DEIGHTON,

HV'ashington Street? Opposite Centre Church,

Ilavo constantly on hand and for §ale, a general stock of

Carriages, Buggies,1 Spring and Farm Wagons,

And Vehicles of every description, of the very LATEST and NEWEST PATTERNS, Manufactured of the very BEST SEONTD GKOTH' TIMBER, which they will sell at the most reasonsible rates, and take old work in part pay. ....

TEY HAVE THE EXCLUSIVE RIGHT OF

GRANT'S SHIFTING TOP RAIL,

By which the top of a buggy can be taken off in ten seconds, and is as secure when on as if rivited to1 the soat.tftH !*»$' I

Done on SHORT NOTICE and at MODERATE PRICES.

all work warahnted for one yeah.

March 21, lS67-tf. EOHEETY Ss BEIGHTON.

HENRY WASSON,

.• ,.s,.,.. .....r

.. .......

v,.

FAJSTCY

_•

Which is r:o arranged as to set competition at deGanco.

All kinds of Prodnee taken in exchange for Goods.

EVANS& HUGHES.

I 'Si

stock always cn Land.

vito ail interested in

.... ... ..

tn9

seak

ENLARGED FACILITIES.

rr-s-Q-r—

EEDTJCTIOJST or EXPENSES

J. S. MILLER & CO'S

Carriage "Manufactory!

Market Street, north of Court JJout/i, CRAWFOEDSVILLB, ,JND.

recently purchased,' enlarged and

improved tho premises we occupy, thereby saving expenso of rent, and giving increased £aa cihties for manufacturing 0f tr'

Carriages, Buggies, Sulkies,, Sleighs, Spring Wagons, &c. 1

wo would rcspcctfally announce to our friend* and the puulic generally that we are now in a position to defy all competition in our line in this State a.-* regards

Prices, Sijle & Workmanship,

and invite an inspection of our Carriages, Buirgics, jSrc., a fine assortment of which we keep cooantlj on hand. Being all practical workmen and employing none but tho most skillful, and using the LRY

BEST

OF MATERIAL, togeth

er with our long acquaintance with the wants of this section of country, we cannot help giving satisfaction, as wc confidently assert that onr work and prices cannot, be exiled by anv other establishment in Indiana. Old Buggies Uken in exchange. All our work warranted one year.Repairing, Blacksniithing, Trimming, Painting, executed with neataess ami -'ospatch.

Superior I tirm Wagons. Our faun ^g°ns are built expressly for this market by STLDEBAK.ER BROS., of South Uond, of tho VKRY BK-ST TIMUKR, and rnor® with t*io view of giving entire satisfaction to purchaEers than profit to the luanrtfti-cturers or to us. fully warrant them in EVKRT PARTICULAR for one year, and will sell them cheaper than any other establishment in the county. ^SSH,

fine

J. S. MILLER & CO,

September 2f, ISfid.

§!&¥

A N

£n Crawfortlftrilie.

-0—-

BLAIE, ITLE &..C0.,, HAVE

NOW iy

Tovxour

SOPERAriox

and

Mxciuhk

HOP, in this place, and in

MACHINES'/ OF ANV KINO,

to give them a call. They are making all kind* Of castings, such as

MILL GEARING, every description

SORGHUM MILLS, 7

FURNACE FRONTS,

7 .V SUGAR

KETTLEa

GRATE BARS,

Patterns for, and Replacing

STOVE PLATES.

OVENS, DOG IRONS.

OLD IRON, COPPER

&3 4fi

They are prppared to rspatr

lubular Boilers, Steam Engines,

Thrashing Machines,

capers, Ih-.-g Saws, Moworg+

aud !o iu»ke and fit ap

Brass Castings,:.: ,and Blacksniithing

cf crery deseripticn.

All work dono by

thia firm i»

tvarranlsd to perforin as roprosonted.

C^Sn PAID FOR

BRASS.

Shop on Green Ftreet, near the Dopof. may 10 'CO.] BLAlll, LYLE fc CO.

H. P. KN3MIKGnt. W. K. KICH0I.80S.

ENSMiNGER & NICHOLSON,

DEALERS IN

SADDLERY

A N E S S

Washington St., CravtTordsville,

WOULD

respectfully inform tho citizcns of Montgomery county that they have noir on hand a general assortment of uustom mad* work in tho lino of

HARNESS, SADDLES,

BRIDLES, HALTERS. WHIPS, •. SPURS, .. GIRTHS, &c., &c.,

fact everything connected with their trade. $2£r RErAiuiNG of every dc«cription done with promptness and upon reasonable torras.

Those wishing anything in thoir line will do well to sail at their Shop, north of the Court House, on Washington stvoet. They are determined not to be undersold br any house in tho city.

ENSIVUNGEIl & NICFI0LS0N*.

Highest market price in CASH paid for HIDES and SHEEP FELTS. November 8, 1867. rl9n9tf.

MANHOOD:

HOW LOST, HOW RESTORED. Just published, a new edition of DR (JULVERWELL'S CELEBRA

TED ESijAY on the radical cure, without iitedicine, of Spermatorrhoea, or Seminal Weakness,.Involunta.y Seminal losses, Impotence.

Mental and Physical Incapacity, Impediments to Marriage, etc also,'Consumption. Epilepsy, and Fits, induced by self-indulgence or sexual extravagance.

Price, in a sealed' envelope, only 6 ccnts. The celebrated author, in this admirable essay, clearly demonstrates from a thirty years' successful practice, that the alarming consequences of ^elf-abuse may be radically cured without the dangerous use of internal medicine, or tho application of the knife pointing out a mode of cure at once simple, certain, and effectual, by means ofj which every sufferer, no matter what his condition may be, may cuie himself cheaply, privately, and radically.

This Lecture should be in the hands of every youth aud every man in the land. Sent, under seal, in a plain envelope, to any address, pOstp.-rid, on receipt,of: six cents or two post stamps. Also/Dr. Culverwell's "Marriage Guide," prico 25 c«atft. Address thePabllsherB,

CHAS.J.C.CUKB&OR

!2TBowtnfy,F^X«ilr6fU3«fli»«Wift