Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 7 October 1899 — Page 4

The Review.

PETER PORCUPINE.

:SEQUITURQUE PATREM PASS1BUS /EQUIS.

EVERYBODY

HAUD

The Grandson of His Grandfather

Finds the Old Han's Pen and Polishes it Up.

iVemo me Impune Lacessit."

"Once there Hoed a man, a satirist and in the natural course of time his friends slew him and fie died.

The people came and stood about his corpse. 'Hi treated the whole round world as his football,' they said, 'and'Jie kicked it."

The dead man opened his eyes. "But always toward the goal" he said.—Schwartz.

OLF has at last struck CrawfordsI »ville just hosv hard remains to be seen. It will probably strike the "Cholfys" hard solar plexus blows.- It is the fad of the Anglomaniacs and the swell sets of the east, and I see no reason why the 400 of Crawfordsville should not carry bags of shinny clubs on their backs, wear knee breeches and short skirts, have their own teeing grounds upon which none may set foot on pain of death, and all the other etceteras incident to the noble game of Scotland. We welcome golf to Crawfordsville, and are only sorry it did not arrive in time to be an attraction at the street fair, with the warograph. cinemeograph, the living photograph, the Egyptian snake devpurer and other concerns which attracted the open-eyed Rube. There can be no doubt but golf will be quite the thing, and emulating the example o' the "400,each circle of society that can find crooked sticks enough will have its golf club and civilization will take one huge lunge forward. W elcoine golf!

THE

burning of the effigy of GenMercier in New York and the French flag in Indianapolis, simply shows that there are Americans who should be crowned with asses ears. Such acts are not only silly but contemptible, and persons perpetrating thsm should slink off to some little crevice befitting their size, and endeavor to be forgotten by a busy, busy world. Because we condemn France is no reason why we should write ourselves down in the catalogue of fools.

TAMES EADS HOW, the millionI aire, who recently gave all his I

money to the Mayor of St. Louis II to give to the poor, while he will earn his living by day labor, and spend his life in promoting his new order, called the "Brotherhood of Daily Life," would doubtless be declared insane by an insanity commis­

sion. He is only one of those rare men who attempt to carry out a scriptural injunction in good faith. So rare, however, is this type of Christian that the great majority of men would set him down as sadly and hopelessly demented. While such a man is to be found, still there is hope for the world.

PROF.saysinsafetydestroyedDewey

GOLDWIN SMITH takes us to task about Dewey worship He substance that in perfect a line of helpless tubs, and for this he is declared to be the equal of the great seamen who conquered on the terrible days of Aboukir, Copenhagen and Trafalgar. All this is quite true. We are a little inclined to magnify present things, for they are nearer to us and look larger. Dewey may not really be so great a man as some who have fought before him, but "tell it not in Gath nor whisper it in the streets of Askelon." Let us enjoy onr hero while we may. He is the first in along time so our enthusiasm may be excused.

FOR

seems to be interest­

ed in the end of the world since Rev. Wallace Tharp has commenced talking about it. Many are scoffing, but after all the fellow who "aint skeered" is the one who would look the hardest for some place to hide were the thing really to come to pass. I am free to confess that I do not know anything about it myself. I am going to hear the gentleman through with his argument. I believe that he is honest in his convictions in what he 6hall tell us. He may be right and he may be wrong. I will not call his honesty into question, as some have done for I am satisfied that he is thoroughly honest in his belief. The idea that this old earth of ours which seems so solid will ever go to pieces, is quite an enigma to most people. They don't want to believe it. But go it will some of these days. There are two conditions under which it will come to pass—one of them is when the •world is converted to Christianity, real Christianity, and the other is when it becomes so wicked it becomes a stench in the nostrils of God. I would advise all my friends to come out and hear the discourse Suuday night. If it comes in 191"). or whenever it does come you had better be ready for the emergency.

many years I have been an admirer of the acumen of the "Man About Town" of the Lafayette Sum lay Times, but I find out that he in uot infallible. Last week he published the following neat little preamble: "I have long highly regarded most all of the newspapers published in our adjoining counties. They show real ability and hard work. Here is a squib from the

Then follows a squib from one of the most notorious papers published in the State for editing with the scissors and publishing without credit. The item in question was taken from a New York letter, published two months since in a metropolitan daily and carefully saved by this editor until he thought it had been forgotten. My attention was called to this editor's scheme by the amount of stuff he takes from Crawfordsville papers and uses as his own unblushingly. He is a fastidious cuss as he only takes the very best.

HE christian science maniac is as dangerous to his fellow man as the idiot who didn't know the gun was loaded.

THE

dedication of the Wilder Brigade Monument at Chieamauga was a notable event. The ceremonies were of t.he kind which tend to not only truly honor the soldier dead, but to foster a fraternal feeling between the North and South. The breach is rapidly closing, and all wounds will soon be healed, and it is well, indeed, for all.

VENEZUELAone

THEY

is engaged in put­

ting down of her summer insurrections. Just what it is all about nobody knows, but the President, with half the people, is subduing, by force of arms, the other half. Possibly they need a higher protective tariff. We are able to avert most calamities by remodeling our tariff. It is very diverting and never fails to draw the attention of the people..

UNDAY base ball is under a ban at Valparaiso Normal School. President Brown has announced that hereafter that students who give way to their mania and play ball on Sunday will be promptly expelled. All this is proper. Young men who expect to fill the position of teachers of the young, should have sufficient reverence for the Sabbath, to refrain from indulgence in any form of Sunday sport, otherwise they are unfit for moral and intellectual leadership.

NO USE TRYING

I can't take plain cod-liver oil. Doctor says, try it. He J, might as well tell me to melt 11 lard or butter and try to take them. It is too rich and ], will upset the stomach. But you can take milk or cream, so you can take

Scott's Emulsion::

0 It is like cream but willn

1

feed and nourish when cream([ will not. Babies and chil- ], iidren will thrive and grown

1

fat on it when their ordinary11 food does not nourish them. {, {i Pcrjons have been Known to gain a pound a day when taking an ounce of Scott* Emulsion. It gets

are now talking of holding that Kentucky election with shotguns and rifles at the polls. Warm blood they have in old Kentucky warm and no mistake. There seems to be an ungovernable desire there to occasionally reduce the population. A little commou sense would not be a bad thing for those Kentunkians to mix with their hot blood.

rtENATOR HANNA says that he would as soon have anti-expan-sion made an issue as the silver question, for silver is an old man of the sea. Right, honored sir, silver is au old man of the sea that cannot be shaken off. It is like Banquo's ghost and will not down, uutil swallowed'down by its enemies. Come, take your medicine like a little man.

THE

Cuban patriot still has his troubles. Like other men who have their wishes fulfilled he finds his dream brighter than the reality. The men who fought with Gomez in the swamps, and maintained a bloody guerrilla warfare against Spain, now assert that Gomez is a tyrant, and cannot be trusted as president of a republic. About all facts indicate that the Cuban is very far from fit for self-government. He will most certainly be "benevolently assimilated" if he does not take a different tack. We are well into the assimilating business now, and liable to gobble up any good thing that comes in our way.

HARKhighly

and his island. He says of England's political system: "It is fully as good as ours, and England has built up a government full of stability." Marcus looks with a very favorable eye on England's colonial policy, and thinks it well for us to follow in her footsteps. It would be strange indeed if he did not so regard it. He is the power that is pushing behind the presidential chariot of imperialism, and that he should be displeased with a policy which he is intending shall be followed, is manifestly absurd. We cannot imitate England too closely to suit the wily Marcus.

A

REPORT is going the rounds that a man in this city who is the father of a babe of only a few weeks old is in the habit of. torturing the infant as a cure for the colic, a disease which afflicts this little one as well as all others of that age quite frequently. It is related that this father forces tobacco juice into the mouth of the helpless child, making it deathly sick, but which, with the vomiting, cures the colic, but leaves the babe in a condition which causes it to sleep the balance of night. I have been informed that this thing is of common occurrence. Here is a case where the interference of the Humane Society would come in good play, or lynchers for that matter. Any man who will torture a helpless babe in that way deserves, the worst punishment imaginable. could stand it to see him strung up by the thumbs, or tied on a rack. I will not print his name this time, but if the cruelty is repeated the officers of the Humane Society will be informed of the name and number of his house. They will tedch him to be humane or leave town.

AFTER

1

the digestive machinery in working' order so that the ordinary food is properly digested and assimilated. toe. and St.oo, all druggist!. I SCOTT4 BOWNE, Chemists, New York. (I 1 I

©•Is

cockroaches which used to sport with reckless abandon over Clark's Hill homes have now lost caste and are to their eys, monsters seeking the lives of the youth. All bugs and creeping varmints look alike to the citizen of Clark's Hill now since the visit of Hurty., They see death lurking in every shape about the "haimless necessary cat," and the school house of which they were so proud, utands empty while the kids riot in the street Dr. Hurty declared that the house was unsanitary, and they must have a new one that would cost $25,000. The trustee repaired the old house, cleaned it up, renovated it, but the microbe scared population have enjoined him from starting a school. They would rather let the kids run in the streets than send them to a building without modern windows, etcetera ad nauseum. Hurty seems to be the swiftest specimen we have ever had as boss of the Board of Health. If he knew Clark's Hill as well as some of us have known it for forty years, from the days when it was under water until now, he would have gone slowly. It seems to me he is overworking a good thing, and it would be well to ringoff before the people grow tired of him. It won't take long at the present rate of moving to make 'em awful wearv.

IT

HANNA expresses himself as pleased with England and her institutions, in fact, he is quite in love with John Bull

has long been a matter of remark that human nature is a very queer thing. Its queerness has developed in a wonderful manner during the past three weeks in this city. I have noticed that those who kicked the hardest on the demoralizing effect of last year's street fair, are picking long and loud now because the one this year is not as good, they say, as last year's fair was. The only perceptible difference between them is the absence this year of the ganbling and immoral shows. It evidently taks these to make a good show for some people. It reminds me of the old couplet

When tbe devil was sick a monk be would be, When he got well the deril ot wu he."

BOOMERSa

1

mature deliberation I have

come to the conclusion that about nineteen-tweentieths of this microbe business is a delusion and a snare. I am in favor always of bowing to the dictates of law, no matter what the law may be like, but it does seem to me that the Indiana legislature can concoct some of the worst messes of tomfoolery and label them "laws" that were ever dreamed of. A State Board of Health is perhaps a necessary evil a thing of beauty and a joy forever, but it does seem to me that Dr. Hurty has gone "nutty" on the question of microbes, and goes about over the State poking his scientific proboscis into all sorts of corners and raking out nests of deadly bacteria. He pokes his official snout into school houses, and when he smells the musty atmosphere incident to all houses closedyfor several months, he throws up his hands and cries 'unsanitary," "bacteria ridden," "must be condemned." He has been over at Brownsburg stirring up a lawsuit over what he terms an "unsafe house." He went to Clark's Hill and condemned an almost new building there, and ordered anew one, as though he was Croesus and the tax-payers owned the Klondike. He talked bacteria and germs to that people until most of them have quit using water as a beverage—but very few of them, however, were guilty of that—they were always scared of hydrophobia, blood poisoning and elephantiasis. The

monk

rfOME men are at home any where they are put. All this week the public has seen a "fellow about town playing the rube boy, advertising Bill's four-legged chicken, a freak of nature in the shape of a Plymouth Rock hen with four perfect legs. It was William Payne, of Indianapolis, a newspaper man out of a job, who had succeeded in securing this freak, and was busy exhibiting it. It*shows William to be a thrifty cuss, and one who will get along in the world whether it be pushing a pencil on the Indianapolis Journal or showing a four-legged fowl. He is not above catching the nimble penny on a hobby horse, and will get along in the world.

from Lafayette to the

number of 600 came down on Crawfordsville Wednesday evening on special train. They were met by two bauds and a delegation of citizens and marched down town when the city was turned over to them, and they held it as their's for four hours. They were represt" ative business men of the Star City, and their object was to advertise their Business Men's Carnival which will be on in full blast next week. It will be something new they tell us in the way of a riproarious time, where everything will be on a magnificent scale, and as free to everybody as their artesian water was before the bottom fell out of the well. It will be similar to the Mardi Gras at New Orleans, only on a small scale. It is an experiment with the Lafayette people. There will be no pay attractions, everything absolutely free. I was informed by Messrs. Ernest Loeb and John Born, two substantial business men, that Lafayette means to set the pace for these weeks of jollity for Indiana citiee, and make the standard high and clean so that there need be no complaint of immorality in the future. It is to be hoped that it will be a great success, and that the Star City may be ihe leader in a much needed reform. There will be a large attendance from here. The boomers expressed themselves as pleased with our demonstration, so we will go over and help them enjoy life.

IT MASSACHUSETTS has a law lyl which protects the shade trees

JLf I

of a town from the ravages of I boys and animals. Each town selects among its other officers a tree warden, whose duty it is to protect and train the trees along the streets, and no one may remove or destroy a tree without a full hearing before the warden. All trees within the limit of any public way are called shade trees. The owner of a horse allowing the animal to beak down, injure or destroy any tree is liable to a fine of not less than $5. nor more than 9100. A

7 "Ji.

FALL ARRIVALS..

To be held at my farm, one-half mile southeast of Thorntown,

-OF--

Suits, Light Overcoats, Furnishing Goods, Hats

j.

And Neckwear of the Latest Fad.

Come and See Us

We Can Please Yon.

We Want Your Trade.

One Price Clothier and Hatter.

Thursday, Oct. 19

I will sell at the above named time and place, 26 male and 31 sow pigs also 15 head of yearlings, consisting of 4 boars and 11 sows.

Tenth Annual Sale

-OF-

POLAND CHINA SWINE.

Bred from such notod sires as Chief Welch Claud's Model, 15*65 WilkeH I Am, 1-1931 Model Boy, 151(11 Bie Chief U. 8., 16715 Little Tom, 16357 and others equally »oted. TERMS: All sums of $10 and under, cash in hand over $10, nine months credit without Interest on approved note. Eight per bent, off for cash.

NOTE: No postponement on account of weather. Sale under shelter if weather is bad AU parties from a distance oared for. Sale to begin promptly at 12-30 Send for catalogue.

man in Springfield was fined §5, the other day for allowing his horse to gnaw a shade tree. Massachusetts as a commonwealth is old enough to know the value of a tree. Her age of vandalism and destruction has long since passed away, but out west we are bent still on destroying the forests and treea which remain. A tree is worthless to us compared with a peck of yellow nubbins, or thesquashes thai would grow on the ground. Were the trees which stand on the Plum street extension through Elston's grove, in Boston, they would be protected by the corporation with iron railing, but our council will give them to someone who will destroy and take them away. The average man can see no beauty nor utility in a roadway unless it is paved with stone. It is a shame to destroy those trees. I am not sentimental on these questions at all, but I do believe in exercising good judgment. If the Charter Oak, or William Penn's Elm stood on the streets of Crawfordsville no doubt our council would order them removed, that the dollar might be chased more easily down the pike. Petitions to save the trees ought to be circulated.

'OR sometime the columns of this paper haw? been open to a discussion of the county superintendent and the schools of the county. Letters have been pouring into THE REVIEW, making the .most serious of charges against the Super-

DAVID CROSE.

intendent of schools. None of these have been published for the reason that the paper desired to be fair in all things, and hoped that the Superintendent and his friends would put uy some defense to the letters already published. Many letters have come in our care, for the Darlington "Teacher" which have been turned over to him. It is not the desire of this paper to further a persecution of any public official. Far from it. These charges against the Superintendent are grave ones and are made in writing signed by the names of those making them. The matter is being generally discussed among the teachers, andjthe public, and if the matter is kept up it is bound to result in great detriment to the schools of the county, something in which every man is interested, this paper has been careful to keep the discussion so far, trending toward the political phase of the question, but it is growing beyond that now, and time has come when a defense is

demanded

from the Superintendent and his friends that he may save himself from ruin as an official and educator, and that the schools may be placed on the plane belonging to them, and which the taxpayers have a right to expect them to occupy. The columns of THE REVIEW are open to him to correct these statements, and he i9 urged for his own sake to take advantage of the offer.

Yours Observantly, PBTKB POBCUPINE, J»•

tr1

M-r,