Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 1 July 1899 — Page 5

IFIY YEARS OLD

Why let your neighbors know it? And why give them a chance to guess you are even five or ten years mors?

Better give them good reasons for guessing the other way. It is very easy for nothing tells of age so quickly as gray hair.<p></p>Ayer's

Hair vigor

youth-renewer. It hides the age under

luxuriant growth of hair the color of youth. It never fails to restore color to gray hair. It will gstop the hair from coming "out also. *It feeds the hair bulbs.

Tjhin hair becomes thick hair, and short hair becomes long hair.

It cleanses the scalp removes all dandruff, and prevents its formation.

We have a book on the Hair which we will gladly sfend you.

If you do not obtain all the benefits you expected from the use of the Vigor, write fhe doctor about It. Probably there is some difficulty with your general system whicn amy be easily removed. Address,

Dr. J. C. Aver, Lowell, Mass.

PETER PORCUPINE.

SEQUITURQUE PATREM HAUD

PASSIBUS /EQUIS.

The Grandson of His Grandfather

Finds the Old nan's Pen and

Polishes it Up.

Nemo me Impunc.Lacessit."

"Once there lived a man, a satirist, and in the natural course of time his friends slew him and he died.

The people came and stood about his corpse. 'He treated the whole round world as his football,' they said, 'and he kicked it."

The dead man opened his eyes. "But always toward the goal" he said.—Schwartz.

I noticed a few days since that a new disease is playing havee with the young female population in certain localities. The doctors call it the "silk petticoat wrist." The microbe which is responsible for the malady has been diligently sought, but the pestiferous insect has not been located under the object glass of a microscope, nor its anatomy been dissected. We have had the "bicycle face," the "high school" face and the various ills that affect the flesh of devotees of the national game: but the "silk petticoat wrist" is anew one. It affects only a limited class of females and physicians say it is caused by the habit certain young women have of holding up the skirts of their dresses. It is a cramping of the wrist, and the curious thing about the disease is that when attacked the victim is invaribly found to be wearing a silk petticoat. Many specialists have been sorely puzzled over this strange malady, but neither they nor the afflicted can explain it. The immunity from its ravages, enjoyed by young women who are not the possessors of such afore mentioned silken garments seems somehow to convey a subtle warning, but each individual must judge for herself. It is too .deep for me.

The ease and grace with which some persons owe money, and dismiss debt from their thoughts is well illustrated by the story of the fellow who kept the guests of a hotel awake all night with his noise in moving about his room and through the corridors. Finally one guest bolder than the rest, spoke to him saying: "You have kept every guest on this floor awake for five hours, and I insist that you stop pacing the corridors, slamming doors, groaning and grumbling. Go to bed or get out of the house, so the rest of us can sleep." "Stranger," said the man, "if you

had the burden on you that I-have you would walk and groan too." "Well, perhaps I might, but what is this awful trouble of which you speak. We might be able to aid you." "Why" replied the sufferer," I owe a man $1,000 the thing is due in the morning, and I haven't a red cent to pay it with." "Then, you confounded fool, go to bed, and let the other fellow do the groaning."

This story points its own moral. It is an illustration of how fast and furious pacers of Americans have come to regard debt. The man in debt is in reality a slave, bound for so many years until it is liquidated. The only safe plan is keep out.

Idly turning the pages of the record of marriage affidavits in the county clerk's office a few days since, I noticed that a license to wed had beed granted to Jennie Jones, aged sixteen years, and Johnny Smith, of the muture age of eighteen. As a matter of course the record showed that the crime had been committed with parental consent, and as many times before, I was driven to wonder at the consummate folly and monumental assininity, that permitted two children to plunge into the midst of innumerable chances for wrecked lives. Poor Johnny, standing on the slippery verge of sore-toed, frecklefaced, sun-burned and beardless boyhood, with never a care save how fishworms should be dug, and treated so the fish would bite no heavier work to perform than "chores" for father hearing no harsher voice than mother bidding him split the kindling in his immature and pin-feather stage, how shall he assume the burdens of a family with what strength shall he bear thein, with what courage shall he struggle, with what heart shall he hear the wolf's long howl, as it rages round his door thirsting for his blood? and silly Jennie, dragged from pinafore and school-ways to a matron's arduous duties, what sort of exchange has she made? The bud half-blown is withered soon, and carking care may add a fearful sharpness to its thorns. What, sweet Jennie a shrew? Even so. These poor misguided youths have bartered joys of life's bright morn, to bear the burden of its hot, high noon: have spilled the sparkling wine of youth, to drink the bitter dregs of heavy care, and given freedom to grow ripe and wise, to bind themselves fast to the iron wheel of monotonous duty. The plucking of unripe fruits is never wise they ever have a bitter taste even though tempting to the eye. Maturity brings a full fruition that is joy, but immaturity means blight and misery. It is said a kindly Providence watches over children and fools, and so we hope that in the fearful hazard of the die, Johnny and his Jennie may win and escape the common penalty of folly, and so escaping learn wisdom and "never, never do the like again."

I have often noticed how persons will gather in groups about a hole in the ground. No matter in what unromantic spot, whether in the shade or in the boiling sun, a hole in the ground ia an attraction for the average man. He will ask question about what it is for, when lie ought to know. "Friend, why diggest thou this grave,

In the heart of London town? And the deep-toned voice of the digger replied:

'We're laying a gas pipe down.' Men will stand for hours absorbed in the removal of dirt from a hole. A hole in the ground seems to have an affinity for them. It may be because so many men feel that they ought to occupy a hole in the ground than space on top of it. Some one may call me a pessimist, but I know what many men feel, for they told me. This feeling may not be general I do not know. I may have been talking to pessimists but at any rate the average man is attracted by some incomprehensible magnet to the side of a hole in the ground, where he watches interestedly each shovelful of dirt as it is raised by the laborer. It niiy be possible that man has an affection for the earth which is our common mother, and in whose bosom we shall all moulder back to clay, resolve ourselves back into our original elements through the agency of the secret and mysterious chemistry of nature's dark laboratories. Thousands have gone that way before us, thousands will follow after us, and in a few years of time no trace will be left of the body sunk into the hole in the ground. Whatever the cause, the fact remains that a hole in the ground has a wonderful charm for men.

I notice that a dispatch from Col

fax states that a Mrs. George Wyant had attempted suicide by the morphine route, but after recovery stated to the physician that she had a constant inclination toward self-destruc-tion. I also notice that this dispatch was made the text of a long homily on hereditary insanity by the insanity expert of a Crawfordsville paper. The name of the unfortunate woman was Wyant, and that connected her in some mysterious way with the mother of Alfred Wells. The newspaper insanity expert wisely draws the conclusion that a person who marries a Y\ yant at once becomes a WTyant in blood and inherits all the traits of character shown by the Wyant family since the first one was born. This woman was not a Wyant but the wife of a Wyant. How then could it, as the expert gravely informs the world, be "in the blood?" This is a new theory in speculative diagnosis. The newspaper insanity expert has gone one step beyond anything heretofore accomplished by man. He has diagnosed the case while he was 20 miles away, had never seen the patient, did not know there was such a person on earth, and from the information contained in a six line press dispatch, he gravely diagnoses the case as "insanity in the blood." This indicates a rare quality of mind when one can discover insanity in the blood of Sarah Jones, because her married name is Wyant. This is a pretty good rule perhaps, to account for what men do. Throw them into insanity and then we have a wide field to account for everything which men do. A post graduate course in the Logansport hospital would make the expert perfect in his line. It is a pity he had not developed before Wells was tried he could have saved the county much expense. But it is doubtful whether the public would be ready to accept him as an oracle. The fool public is always leery of great discoveries in science and philosophy, and he might share their fate, but those who are wedded to progress and enlightenment will welcome him as a new and remarkable discover}'.

It is said that James A. Garfield on the occasion of the assassination of President Lincoln quelled the excitement of a large crowd by crying out: "Fellow citizens, God reigns and the government at Washington still lives!" God, who said in the early dawn of creation, "Let there be light, aud there was light." He is the same God who sunk Sodom aud Gomorrah in the depths of the Dead Sea because of crimes unmentionable. He is the same God who led the children of Israel to the brickyards of Egypt to toil without recompense and without hope. He is the same God who guided them through the cleft waters of the Red Sea and conducted them in safety through forty years of wandering to the Canaan they sought. He is the same God who closed the sea's jaws with a vicious snap over the proud army of the Egyptian monarch and broke his power. He is the same God who walked among the sleeping army of Sennacherib and saved his chosen people from destruction. He is the same God who wrote in letters of fire across the wall of Belshazzar's banquet chamber the doom of corrupt Babylon. He is the same God who destroyed the walls of the Holy City, and sent the recalcitrant Hebrews forth as the "tribes of the weary heart aud wandering foot" to become the persecuted of every land. He is the same God who sent the fire shower of ruin on Greece and Rome, and unsheathed the keen sword of the north wind and wrapped the frozen mantel of Russian snow about the army of Napoleon as it stood about burning Moscow. He is the same God still, who through all history has punished* the guilty and" rewarded the innocent who has stood for the rights of the weak against the encroachments of the strong who has always prospered the nation based on the foundation of equal and exact justice to every man, be he beggar or king. The same God who said on the smoking top of Sinai "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me," and who called down destruction upon those who were prostrate before the golden calf of Aaron at the foot of the mountain. He is the God who would never abide the exaltation of Mammon to the throne he had builded for himsslf. In the face of all the history of the dealings of this God with the children of men, we who live at the dawning of the twentieth century should think whither we are drifting. "We are mad- grown mad In the race for gold,

We are drunk on the wine of gain. The truths our fathers proclaimed of old We spurn with a high disdain But while the conqueror's raoe we ran

Our rulers should not forget That the God who reigned over Babylon Is the God who is reigning yet.

Wou 11 vre tread In the paths of tyranny, Nor reckon the tyrant's costT Who taketh another's liberty

Ills froedom is al»o lost. Would wo win as tho strong have ever won, Mako ready to pay the debt For tho God who reigned over Babylon

Is the God who is reigning yet.

Tho ruins of dynasties passed 'away In eloquent silence HP, And thft despot's fate is the same to-day

That It was In tho days gone by. Against all wrong and injustice done A rigid aocouut is sot For tho God who reigned ovor Habylon

Is the God who la rolgnlng yet.

Is the God who is reigntng yot

Tho laws of right are etoruul lnw«, The Judgments ot truth are true ^33 My grood-bhnd masters, bid you Ipause.T^

And look on the work you do. You bind with shackles your follow man, Tour hands with his blood are wet, '1 But tho God who roiguo.l ovor Babylon

In the death of Rev. Dr. Jas. fcW. Greene, the Methodist church of Indiana loses one of its strong pillars. He was a man of marked ability, and his success in his chosen vocation was signal. He was a man who was without an enemy, full of all the good traits which make men loved by their fellows. While he was a Methodist, first, last and all the time, ho was a firm believer in the right of every man to hold and express opinions. He granted to every other man the right which he claimed for himself of thinking and acting as conscience directed. By his broad-mindedness and liberality he won the esteem of all with whom he came in contact. Quiet aud unassuming he was pushed to the front and into position solely on merit, and the positions he occupied from time to time, were made more notable by his occupancy of them. He was loyal to^his"Jchurch and to his fellow man.TgJHe believed in both, and hopedjforj grander victories. Such men are rare and though we only miss themjfor ajwhile amid the bustle and rush of the^busy world, the good theyjaccomplished will never die?. The man^whojfelled the forest, and broke the virgin soil may be forgotten, but the land he rescued from its primeval state will still remain. The crop which he planted will be garnered ^by^other hands. He has not lived in vain.

It is stated on authority that there are now in New York city alone* 400 helpless and unoffending babies whose inconsiderate and hasty parents have burdened them with the euphonious title "George Dewey." According to the records of the Bureau of Vital Statistics, young ones were named for the hero of Manila at the rate of ten a day, for the first few months after the great battle' This is another indication that the "fool killer" has not been giving the proper amount of attention to his job. It has always been a failing of the human family to tack the name of some great man onto a very ordinary youngster, expecting no doubt that later in life, he would completely turn the world up-side down, but they hardly ever do what parents hope for, and as a result the penitentiaries are full of fellows whose doting parents, in an outburst of patriotic enthusiasm Lave dubbed them George Washington, Andrew Jackson, or Abraham Lincoln: and the gallows has cut the career short of many a chap who was called Winfield Scott, Thomas Jefferson, or James Buchanan. It is a burden on the child-—it is little less than a crime, to start him out in the world handicapped in any such style. It is not fair to the great man in the case either. He ought to be allowed to something to say as what sort of looking "critters" shall be called by his name. Half of the little darkies on the1 levee at New Orleans are named after

Romau generals and emperors. The name of George Washington Simon Bolivar Hannibal Pompey Lincoln Alger McKinley Jones, would not be an uncommon one for a little chocolate drop of a Southern cotton field. The parent is neither kind nor thoughtful who thus loads his son down with a name worn by some giant, unless he is sure the boy will fill the measure. Because the man may not "pan out" at the last. The fellow who named his boy Oscar Wilde while the craze was on, in the light of later developments, now wishes he hadn't. A cantankerous Republican relative of mine named a boy at the beginning of the civil war, George B. McClellau. He was a patriotic soul, and loved the old flag' better than he loved his wife,—but as a matter of duty only, when the flag went to the front he remained behind to protect the wife from John Morgan, and he was the bravest man they had in the Home Guards—My relative never imagined that what he called a "copperhead," a vile fellow whose fitting punishment could not be named, would be in the army. His bright illusion was dispelled when three years later Gen. McClellan was the Democratic candifor President. It so shocked this relative of mine, that he never smiled again, and to-day he is a bent and prematurely aged man, from remorse. Don't name your kid after any great man. You are hampering him in his career, and worse perhaps than that you make a monkey out of yourself.

Yours Observantly. PETES POHOCPINE, JA.

IOO

COMING TO.

-:CrawfordsvilIe:-

JOMN ROBINSON'S

In Conjunction with the Grand Biblical Spectacle

Solomon, His Temple I

—AND THE

QUEEK OP SHEBA.

More People, More Money, More Costly Costumes, More Special Scenery used in the one great feature of Solomon and the Queen of Sheba than in the entire combined features of any other exhibition in this country.

Over $100,000 Actually Expended on This Grand Production Alone.

The most Magnificent Scenery, Costumes, Emblems, Armors, Trappings I ia every detail Historically Correct.

Of the Most America.

Magnificent Dancing Girls in -g Don't Fail to see Them.

Everywhere pronounced unanimously by Press, Pulpit and People the Richest and most Gorgeous Production of the Century. A Masterpiece of Grand Scenic Magnificence.

THE CIRCUS FEATURES

This season are obtained from Europe and America, will amuse and starile the word. Nothing like them ever before presented. The exhibitions of former years and other shows relegated to oblivion by the preservance and Master Minds of the Artists with

JOHN ROBINSON'S 10 BIG SHOWS COMBINED,

The most novel Bareback Acts ever witnessed. From 9 to 12 of the World's Greatest Lady and Gentleman Equestrians in three Rings at one time. This feature is new and original with this show.

One of the special features of the Big Triple Menagerie is the Largest Snake Alive, 25 Feet Long. Ordinary Snakes are fed on rabbits and rats, while this reptile devours Pigs, Sheep, Turkeys and Dogs.

Greatest Free Features Ever Witnessed. The Grand Street Parade and Free Horse Fai An innovation itself. A truly magnificent pageant. One feature of the Free Street Parade is the grand spectacle of 40 of the smallest ponies ever harnessed and driven at one time. Don't fail to see them.

Two Performances Daily. Main Doors Open at 1 and 7 p, m.

Free exhibition at the Circus Grounds immediately after the parade and at 6:30 p. m. One admission tioket admits to alL For fall partiqyK lars notice other advertisements.