Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 25 December 1897 — Page 5

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A STOK\ OI- CHKISTMAS EVK.

'-'Draw up hyar near the fire, While I give the log's a poke, Draw up yer cheer, sit handy,

I'll talk an' you kin smoke. I ain't much good at stories, But I recken I kin tell One tale'll set yer thinkin.'

Though I may not tell it well.

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Hits Christmas Eve, now hain't hit? Waal, better still for that Fer this was Christmas Eve, too,

Ther time my story's at.

ONE CHRISTMAS EVE

jg-* (By Hall Caine.)

~It was 'an old Manx custom that on 'Christmas eve the church should be given up to the people for the singing of their native carols, or carvals. The •curious service was known as Oiel Vewee (the Eve of Mary), and at every such service for the last twenty years

Hommy-beg, the gardener, and Mr. James Quirk, the schoolmaster, had officiated as singers in the strange "Manx ritual. Great had hitherto been the rivalry between these musical 'celebrities, but word had gone round Ube town that at length their efforts •were to be combined in a carol which they were to sing together. Dan, the xogue of the village, had effected this •extraordinary combination of talent by plot which was expected to add largely to the amusement of the listeners.

Hommy-beg could not read a syllable, .•yet he never would sing his carol with•out having the printed copy of it in tils han9. Of course Mr. Quirk, the •schoolmaster, could read, but, as we bave seen, he resembled Hommy-beg In being almost stone deaf. Each could hear himself sing, but neither cou^d hear another.

And now for the plot: Master Dan -caJled on the gardener at his cottage on the Brew on the niornins of the •day before Christmas Day, and "Hominy," said he, "it's morthal strange the •way a man of your common sense can't see that you'd wallop that squeaking oul Jemmy Quirk in a jiffy if you'd only- consent to sing a ballad along of him. Bless me, man alive, it's then they'd be seeing what a weak, ould •cracked pot of'a voicje Is in him."

Hommy-beg's face began to wear a smile of benevolent condescension. Observing his advantage, the young ras•«*a] continued: "Do it at the Oiel Vernf tonight, Hommy. He'll sing his treble, and you'll sing seconds to -him."

It was an unlucky remark. The gardener frowned austerely. "Me sing seconds to the craytliur? No never!"

Dan explained to Hommy-beg, with a "world of abject apologies, that there •was a sense in which seconds meant lirste, and at length the gardener was -mollified, and consented to the proposed but one idea was firmly rooted in

Ms mind—namely, that, if he was to -Xing a carol with the schoolmaster he must take the best of care to sing his 'loudest, in order to drown at once the -voice of his rival, and the bare notion •that it was he who was singing seconds to such a poor creature as that.

Then Master Danny trotted off to the •schoolhouse, where he was now no

:"Vorree

I'm tough 07, all tarnation. I know hit, pard. hit's true, I sometimes swar like pizen,

An' I play a keer.l or two.

But. this hyar day of Christmas— Waal, thar's suthin' in the day So kinder sweet an sacred—

Ef a feller'd ever pray Hit 'ud surely be on Christmas— But there I'm spoutin' slush, Ale talk o' playing parson—

Pshaw! pard, I'm goln' ter hush.

'Twas Christmas Eve in '50. Some time ago? Waal, yes, Afore the war a ten year, 'Fore you wuz born I guess. The snow wuz fallin" lively.

An' the sleigh bells ringin' clear, Yer could see the lights a shinin' In the houses far an' near

In one housp, near the clenrin', Wuz a Jolly, happy crowd, Sittin' round ther ronrln' cliimbley,

LalTin' long an' laffin' loud. Thar wuz fiddlin', tliar wuz danein', Thar wuz songs an' jolly jokes, Tliar wuz more than that—a parson-

An' a pair o' loving folks.

Who wuz waitin' fer a weddin', An' their weddin' 'twas ter be, He tall, an' big an' husky.

She slight an' fair—why she Wuz fairer nor an angel, The lovingest thing on earth. The purtiest blue-eyed woman

The Lord e'er gave a birth.

Now. Hommy-beg kept his carols pinned against the walls of his cottage. The "Bad Women" was the carol which was pinned above the mantelpiece, just under the pendulum of the clock with the facetious face. It resembled the other prints in being worn, crumpled, and dirty but Hommy-beg knew it by its position, and he could distinguish every other carol by its place on his walls.

Danny had somehow got a "skute" into this literary mystery, and after arranging with the schoolmaster the carol that was to be sung, he watched Hommy-beg out of his cottage, and then went into it under pretense of a friendly call upon blind Kerry. Before he left the cottage he had taken down the carol that had been pinned above the mantelpiece, and fixed up another in place of it from the opposite side of the room. The substituted carol happened, oddly enough, to be a second copy of the carol on "Bad Women," with this radical difference: The copy taken from under the clock was the version of the carol in English, and the copy put up was the version in Manx. Toward 10 o'clock that night the church bells began to ring, and Hommy-beg looked at the clock, took the carol from under the pendulum,' put on his best petticoat, and went off to church.

Hommy-beg did not reach the church until the parson's sermon was almost over. Prayers had been sa'd in a thin congregation, but no sooner were they done than crowds of young men and maidens tripped down the aisles. The voung women went up into the gallery, and from that elevation they shot down at their, bachelor friends large handfuls of peas. To what ancient spirit of usage, beyond the ancient spirit of mischief, the strange practice was due, we must be content to leave, as a solemn problem, to the learned and curious antiquaries. Nearly everybody carried a candle, and the candles of the young women were adorned with a red ribbon or rosette. .w

longer a scholar, and consequently en- Danny was there by this time, and joyed an old boy's privilege of ap-' with a face of mighty solemnity, he sat proaehing the master on equal terms, on the right of Homtny-beg and held and "Jemmy," he said, "it's morthal -•istrange the way a man of your common sense can't see that you'd wallop that squeaking old Hommy-beg in a IJJfTy if you'd only consent to sing a bal-

Sad along of him. Do it at the Oiel

tonight. Jemmy, and bless me!

-•that's the when they'll be seeing what a weak, ould crackpot of a voice is in :thn craytliur."

The schoolmaster fell even an easier prey to the plot than the gardener had been. A carol was selected it was to he the ancient Manx carol on the bad •women mentioned in the Bible as having (from Eve downward) brought evil •on mankind.

At last they stood up bashful, While all the people tried To crane their necks to see her—

One darned fool woman cried, But Lord, yer couldn't blame her Fer the bride thet wuz tor be They all loved—man an' woman—

Such a love yer never see.

Waal, the parson he wuz snyin'. "Will ye rtake this man ter wed?" An' the room wuz jos' as silent

As a house whar someun's dead. When thai* come a thunderin' racket Through the broken window sash Came an ugly lookin' rilie.

Then an awful siekenin' Hash.

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In passing out of the church the parson came face to face with Hommybeg,. who was pushing his way up the aisle. The expression on his face, was not at the moment one of peculiar grace, and he stopped the gardener and said sharply in his ear "Mind you, see that all is done in decency and order, and that you close my church before midnight." "Aw, but the church is the people's, I'm thinking'," said Hommy-beg with a shake of his tousled head. "The people are as ignorant as goats," said the parson angrily. "Aw. well, and you're their shepherd, so Just make sheeps of them," said Hommy-beg, and he pushed on.

a candle in his left hand. When every thing was understood to be ready, and Will-as-Thorn, the clerk, had taken his station inside the communion rail, the business of the Oiel Verreo began. First one man got up and s: a carol in English then another sang a Manx carol. But the great event of the night was to be the carol sung by the sworn enemies and rivals, Hommy-beg and Mr. James Quirk.

At last the time came for these worthies. They rose from the oppo?ite sides of the church, eyed each other with severe looks, stepped out of their pews, and walked down the aisles to the dcor of the porch. Then they

Then a cry. "My God', hit's hit her!" An' a rush from all the res' Ez they saw the blood a runnin'

Runnin' down her weddin' dress: Then she fell down by the chimbley. With her lover by her side— Jes' her lover, fer the bullet

Hit afore the knot wuz tied.

"She's a dyin'," said the parson Slow she turned her little head. Looked at him so kind o' wishful,

Yes, he knew afore she said What she wanted, so be knelt thar, Said the words thet made them one, Then her little head dropped lower,

turned about in silence, and, standing side by side, faced the communion. The tittering in the gallery and whispering in the body were alntible to all except the persons who were the cause of both. "Hush, hush, man alive, that's him." "Bless me, look at Hommy-beg and the petticut, and the handkercher pinnin' 'round his throat." "Aw, dear, it's what he's used of." "A regular French Punch and Judy."

Danny was exerting himself at that moment to keep order and silence. "Hush,, man, let them make a start for all."

The carol the rivals were abwnt to sing contained some thirty verses. It was an ancient usage that after each verse the carol singers take a long stride toward the communion. By the time the carol of "Bad Women" came to an end the carol singers must, therefore, be at the opposite end „.of the church.

There was now a sublime' scorn printed on the features of Mr. Quirk. As for Hommy-beg, he looked, at this last instant, like a man who was rather sorry than otherwise for his rash adversary. "Hpw romantic they're looking." whispered a girl in the gallery to the giggling companion beside her.

Expectation was at its highest when Hommy-beg thrust his hand into his pocket and brought out the printed copy of the carol. Hommy unfolded it, glanced at it with the air of a conductor taking a final look at his score, nodded his head at it as if in approval, and then, with a magnanimous gesture, held it between himself and Mr. Quirk. The schoolmaster in turn glanced at it, glanced again, glanced a third time at the paper, and up into the face, of Hommy-beg.

Anxiety was now on tiptoe. "Hush, d'ye hear? hush," whispered Danny from his pew, "hush, man, or it's spoiling it all you'll be, for sure."

At the moment when Mr. Quirk glanced into the face of Hommy-beg there was a smile on that countenance. Mr. Quirk mistook that smile. He imagined he saw a trick. The schoolmaster could read, and he perceived that the carol which the gardener held out to him was not the carol for which he had been told, by Master Danny, to prepare. They were, by arrangement, to have sung the English version of "Bad Women." This was the Manx version, and though the metre was the same it was always sung to a different tune. Ah! Mr. Quirk understood it all! The monster wanted to show that he, James Quirk, schoolmaster, could only sing one carol but, as sure as his name was Jemmy, he would be even with him. Ho could sing this Manx version and he would. It was now Mr. Quirk's turn to smile. "Aw, look at them—the two of them —grinnin' together like a pair of old gurgoils on the steeple!"

At a motion of the gardener's hand. Intended to beat the time, the singers began. Hommy-beg sang the carol agreed upon—the English version of "Bad Women." Mr. Quirk sang the carol they held in their hands—the Manx version of "Bad Women." Neither heard the other, and to dispel the bare notion that either was singing seconds each brawled at the utmost reach of his lung power. To one tune Hommy-beg sang "Thus from the days of Adam

Her mischief you may trace."

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Jes' a whiper from her white lips, Jes' a word: "I love—you—Jim, I'm so sorry—Andy—chot—me—

But I couldn't—marry—him— Fer—I—only—loved—you—" Then she Kinder lost herself, an' Jim Put his head down closer to her'n, m—1' m—go in'—don' t—ki 11—him—"

Then 'twas still except the sobbin' From the men an' women thar, While Jim tried to sop the blood up

With her hunk o' yellow ha'ar But hit warn't no use a tryin' Life wuz goin' spite of love— Then a start—Jim raised her tender—"Jim—1—love—meet—above."

An' they said the end hed come. ''—W. S. Harwoo«t.

hi 'twas over. Jim jes' kissed her While his eyes run like the rain hen he took his gun an' started, Said he'd try'n be back again. Vhar is Andy? Waal, they found him

In the snow, stiff. Yer kin see es' how hit happened. Whar is Jim? Jim's tellin' yer: thet's inc.

And to another Mr. Quirk t-ang: "She ish va'n voir aln ooilley Son v'ee da Adam ben."

Such laughter! How the young women in the gallery lay back in tlic ir seats with hysterical shrieks! How the young fellows in the body made the sacred edifice ring with guffaws! But the singers, with eyes steadfastly fixed on the paper, heard nothing but each his own voice.

Three verses ltad been sung, and three strides made toward the communion, when suddenly *the laguhter and shouting of tt«e people ceased. All eyes had turned toward the porch. There the Bishop stood, with blank amazement printed on his face, his head bare, and one hand on the halfopened door.

If a specter had appeared the consternation had scarcely been greater. Danny had been rolling in his pew with unconstrained laughter, but at sight of the Bishop his candle fell from his hand and sputtered on the book rail. The Bishop turned about, and before the people had recovered from their surprise he was gone. At the next moment everybody got up without a word and left the church. In two minutes more not a soul remained except Hom-my-beg and Mr. Jemmy Quirk, who, with eyes rivited on the printed carol in their hands, st'll sang lustily, oblivious of the fact that they had no audience.

"Walter's First Dip.

Walter T. was six years old. He never had seen the ocean. We were to spend the summer at the seaside, and Walter had a new bathing suit. Every boy in the block was invited into the house to see him try it on, and one day we discovered him in the bath tub surrounded by an admiring group of juveniles, to whom he was discoursing about how he would dive from the end of the iron pier when he reached the ocean. When the young man, however, saw the ocean, with the great waves rolling on the beach, he could not be induced to go near it, and positively refused to put on his bathing suit.

One day his father offered him 53 cents if he would put on his suit and get wet all over once. He wanted the money very much, so he finally consented. Clasping his arms around his father's neck like a vise, the great undertaking was begun. After much shivering and trembling, he was wet about two inches above his ankles, when he exclaimed: "Papa! I—guess—I—willonly— take— 10— cents'— worth— this —time."—Crypt.

Ijorcl Kelvin's Proplieclcs. Lord Kelvin, the great English engineer, is reported as having prophesied that our children's children are never likely to see the Niagara cataract. He believes that the whole water from Lake Erie will find its way down to Lake Ontario through machinery which will be more beneficial to the world than the contemplating of the magnificent scene which the waterf.i'l row presents. Further, that there will be a revival of the prosperity in the Highlands of Scotland that the people will be happy and industrious, occupied largely in manufactures. All this to be rendered possible by utilizing the water power of the country.—Chicago Inter Ocean. 7"

l«v."

Bicycle skates will soon be familiar features of Chicago's boulevards. Chas. S. Ellis, of 90 East Ohio street, has invented a wheel skate that is a decided novelty. It lias at eacli end a seveninch metal wheel with metal tire. The foot rests upon a support between the wheels and is held in place by straps like an old-fashioned skate. The footrest is dropped below the center of gravity, and is but two and one-halt •inches from the ground. The skate is twenty-seven inches long, and a pair will weigh about five pounds. Mr. Ellis says a person can travel as fast on his skates as 011 a bicycle and with less exertion. There is less w» glit to carry, and there is not as much strain on the muscles, after the ankles have become accustomed to the work. The skater

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DANGER OM THE WATER.

"Gobang tested his water bicycle the other day." "How did it work?' "Very badly. He punctured a tire 011 a tack used by a yachtsman."—New York World.

THE WIND'S MTTliE JOKE.

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BIOTFCTJK SKATE THAT 18 A DECIDED NOVEI/TV. Chicago Times-Herald.

can step over ruts and other uneven places in the road that the wheel rider may not be able to avoid, and the dis-V agreeable sensation of coining down otj the center post with a hard jolt is"SlVojj'" ed in the skate. There are foreign cycle skates in which the wheels smaller, with rubber tires, and are der the foot. That raises the foot hi from t'ne ground and compels a siderable inclination of the ankl?. making turns. Mr. Ellis's devic the advantage of pneumatic tires, foot-rest and ball-bearings. T" are single tube and may be inll repaired like bicycle tires, it says the sensation of rolling skates is like ice skating, and there is little trouble in learning them. Mr. Ellis has a nuinbe ventions to his ercdit.

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