Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 3 April 1897 — Page 2

rv

THE REVIEW.

11Y

F-. ~r. LUSE^

TERMS OF srOSCKITTION:

One Year. In Hie county fl.00 One Year, out of the county l.10

Inquire at Office ior Advertising Ra'cf*.

There is only one black member of the House of Representatives of the Fifty-fifth Congress and his name is White.

Whey, practically a waste product of milk, is to be made a source of great profit by means of a recent discovery that the very best quality of white sugar can be made from it. A factory at Eagle, Wis., is now being operated successfully by the new process.

Another "insane" murderer has been acquitted at St. Louis. He imcmdiatcly proved to the jury that he actually was lacking in sound judgment by jumping to his feet and thanking the jurymen for their verdict. The man may have been a little "off" but he proved that he had still some vestiges of sense and common gratitude by his little speech to the astonished jurors, who ached for another chance at him.

Not content with regulating the hen and the rate of interest on money the .Kansas rural legislator has turned his attention to bachelors. According to the bill introduced bachelors over 22 are to be taxed annually and all bachelors over 30 are to be sent to the penitentiary. As no appropriation is asked for to build additions to the penitentiaries it is believed that the bill, should it become a law, will prove to be very much of a dead letter.

Until 1693 the Dutch church of St. Nicholas, within Fort Amsterdam, was the only place of .worship within the boundaries of what is now New York City. The city now has more than 600 church buildings and $90,000,000 worth •of church property. The great Protestant Episcopal Cathedral of St. John the Divine, now building, will be one of the most remarkable church edifice" in the world, and will equal in size and splendor the historic cathedrals of the old world. J. Pierpont Morgan recently contributed $500,000 to the building fund of this society to carry on the work •which has been progressing slowly. The final cost of the building can not be accurately estimated, but it will exceed $10,000,000.

The opening of the spring trade in the wholesale districts of the larger cities is always regarded as a reasonably reliable index to the whole season's business. Judged by this standi it would seem that better times are surely at hand. The St. Louis Globe-Demo-crat, one of the most conservative and reliable of newspapers, in speaking of the business situation, says:"The spring of 1897 has proved a red-letter season

in the city's commercial history. St. ,•

Louis has a large Southern trade, and this moves somewhat earlier than

Isthmian climate much better than other people. But little has been said in the newspapers, for several years, about this project, but the French stockholders in the enterprise have all this time been prosecuting the swindlers that ruined DeLesseps and stopped the work seven years ago. Several of the plunderers have been compelled to disgorge millions of their ill-gotten gains and a new order of things has been instituted. A new company was legally organized in Paris in October, 1894, just in time to save the concession. DcLesseps's dream of a Panama Canal, long believed to be purely visionary by Americans, may yet become a reality.

"No form of vice, not worldliness, not greed of gold, not drunkenness itself, does more to un-Christianize soci-, ety than evil temper. For embittering life, for breaking up communities, for destroying the most sacred relationships, for devastating homes, for withering up men and women, for taking the bloom of childhood, in short, for sheer gratuitous misery-producing powen, this influence stands alone. What is it'(evil •temper) made of? Jealousy, anger, pride, uncharity, cruelty, self-righteous-ness, touchiness, doggedness, sullenness —these are the ingredients of the dark and loveless soul. In varying proportions, also, these are the ingredients of all ill temper. Judge if such sins of the disposition are not worse to live in, and ior others to live with than sins of the

body. There is really 110 place in Heaven for a disposition like this. A man with such a mood could only make Heaven miserable for all the people in 1't."—Drumniond's Addresses.

Tne Grand Duke Constantine Con* stantinovitch of the reigning house of Russia has recently become "stagestruck" and imagines that he is the star Shakcsperian actor of the age. He has organized an amateur theatrical company to present Hamlet and took the leading role to his own satisfaction and to the great amusement of the audiences on whom he inflicted his transcendent efforts. He next took in hand "Romeo and Juliet." But, not liking Shakespeare's own conclusion of that grand play, he altered it to his own ideas, and gave it a happy ending. "Juliet" wakes up just in time to preven "Romeo" from taking the fatal drug, the lovers are married and live happily ever afterward. The grand duke, who is a man well on toward 50 and the father of a iamily of six children, naturally insisted on playing the role of Romeo, and, notwithstanding the inordinate reverence that is accorded bv the courtiers and officials at St. Petersburg to tho members of the imperial family, they experienced the utmost difficulty in repressing a smile when they beheld this long-faccd, long-shanked grand duke, whose scrawny figure is far better suited to the role of the Apothecary in the

An exchange says that every publisher in the State should publish thn fact that burnt corn is good for hog cholera. It was first discovered by burning a pile of corn belonging to a distillery. It was thrown to the hogs play, ranting through the part of Juliet's and eaten by them. Before that a num- young lover, his apeparance ibeing ren-

ber of them had been dving every day from cholera, but the disease immediately disappeared. It is so simple a remedy that it can easily be tried.

dered additionally comical b.y the glasses which the shortness of his eight compels him to keep forever perched upon his nose. The grand duke is believed to be undoubtedly insane, but people must show him proper respect. An "invitation" to attend one of his performances is equivalent to a command in St. Petersburg that dare not be disregarded.

Peace! The term peace implies many things not commonly considered when the word is uttered. Peace as usually understood signifies a state of national repose, of troops in barracks and forts instead of behind eartluvoi lis or on the march or in the tented field of a lack of battles and skirmishes, of a time when the mortality of armies is solely caused by disease, and death by ordinary means of a time when nations calmly negotiate for advantage and prepare for the next conflict of arms. Peace there is in other forms quite as important to the individual Domestic peace—where all the sights and scenes of daily life are a succession of joys and pleasures where every day brings renewed affection and hope for future blessings where health and wealth bring added zest to a life already full of beauty and of bliss. Peace of mind— where conscience seldom chides for sins committed nor reproves for good deeds left undone where time has seared the wounds of the past and healed the sore spots on the heart: where day and night flit by serene, as silvery clouds float in a summer sky. Peace of the heart— where envy enters not nor rankling hate ran ever hold full sway, where only benignant thoughts of a soul at rest can control, where malice and anger are unknown and unseemly strife ne'er strikes a discordant note where love for all mankind alone can reign supreme.

Peace of the soul—of a soul that is

1

calm, that firnilv reues upon the divine

promise and looks onward and upward I to that goal beyond our morfal ken and

Northern trade. The buyers from the 1 ,11 .. 1 stakes its all upon that peace that passextreme South have, as a rule, made their purchases and left for home. And these purchases were much heavier than any they made in years past. The gen cral feeling of prosperity which prevails in the South and West has caused the merchants to lay in exceptionally large stocks."

eth all understanding," a peace that can not be shaken by trivial misfortunes a peace that is founded on a faith beyond 1 the power of human reason to shatter.

That all mankind may be at peace with themselves, with the world and with their Creator is the wish of every generous mind, to the end that that ideal time may soon be ushered in when "Peace like a dove" shall descend upon warring nations and brutal pugilists and contending factions and grasping cor-

Work has been resumed on the Panama Canal. Three thousand men have been quietly employed under a new management. These laborers are'from Jamaica and it is believed they will with- porations—and upon every man, wostand the enervating influences of the

man

a!U' cvcr'

dition of life.

relation and con

The I'risnner's llat.

At a certain court of justice an awkward blunder was made by the prisoner in the dock. He was being tried for murder and the evidence was almost wholly circumstantial, a chief portion of it being a hat of the ordinary "billycock" pattern that had been found close to the scene of the crime, and which, moreover, was sworn to as the prisoner's.

Counsel for the defense expatiated upon the commonness of hats of the kind. "You, gentlemen," he said, "no doubt each of you has just such a hat as this. Beware, then, how you condemn a fellow creature on such a piece of evidence," and so forth.

In the end the man was acquitted. But just as he was leaving the dock he turned in a respectful manner to the jjdge and said: "If you please, my lord, may I have my 'at?"—Comic Cuts.

Another Trouble.

"Before we were married you used to bring me candy every evening now you never do." "Yes, and before we were ^married you used to divide your candy with me now you give it to the children."—Detroit Free Press.

Kotntinga Slander.

Lollie—I think it slanderous to say a woman can't keep a secret. Maude—And I. There's the question of age, for instance. I've never told anybody I'm 22.—Philadelphia North American.

DEBT TO GREECE.

THE WOULD INSOLVENT TO THE HELLENIC KINGDOM.

It* Paramount Influence o« Language, Art, Heroism, Seulpl ure, Architecture, Literature and Medicine—Dr. THImage'H Sermon.

As DT. Talmage's sermons are published on both sides the ocean, this discourse on a -subject of worldwide interest will attract universal attention. is text was Romans 1:14, "I am debtor both to

the Greeks and to the barbarians." He said At this time when that behometh of abominations, Mohammedanism, after having gorged itself 011 the carcasses of 100,00 Armenians, is trying to put its paws upon one 01 the fairest of all nations, that of the Greeks, 1 preach this sermon of sympathy and protest, for every intelligent person on this side of the sea, as well as the other side, like Paul, who wrote the text, is debtor to the Greeks. The present crisis is emphasized by the guns of the allied powers of Europe, ready to be unlimbered against the Hellenes, and I am asked to speak out. Paul, with a master intellect of the ages, sat in brilliant Corinth, the great Acro-Corinthus fortress frowning from the height of 1,686 feet, and in the house of Gams, where he was a guest, a big pile of money near him, which he was taking to Jerusalem to the poor.

In this letter to the Romans, which Chrysostom admired so much that he had it read to him twice a week, Paul practically says: "I, the apostle, am bankrupt. I owe what I cannot pay, but will pay as large a percentage as I

I can-.

It is an,obligation for what Greel

literature and Greek prowess have done for me. I will pay all I can in installments of evangelism. I am insolvent to I the Greeks." Hellas, as the inhabitants call ir, or Greece, as we call it, is insignificant in size, about a third as large I as the State of New York, but what it lacks in breadth it makes up in height, with its mountains Cylenc and Eta and Taygetus and Tympherestus, each over seven thousand feet in elevation, and its Parnassus, over eight thousand. Just the country for mighty men to be born in, for in all lands the most of the in- 1 tellectual and moral giants were not born 011 the plain, but had for cradle 1 the valiey between two mountains. That country. 110 part of which is forty miles from the sea. has made its impress upon the world as no other nation, and it today holds a first mortgage of obligation upon all civilized people. While we must leave to statesmanship and diplo- 1 rnacy the settlement of the intricate questions which now involve all Europe and indirectly all nations, it is time for all churches, all schools, all univcrsities, all arts, all iterature, to sound out in the most emphatic way the dedaration, "I am debtor to the Greeks." I

In the first place, we owe to their language our new testament. All of it was first written in Greek, except the book of Matthew, and that, written in the Aramaean language, was soon put into Greek by our Savior's brother James. To the Greek language we owe the best sermons ever preached, the best letters ever written, the best visions ever kindled. All the parables in Greek. All the miracles in Greek. The sermon on the mount in Greek. The story of Bethlehem and Golgotha and Olivet and Jordan banks and Galilean beaches and Pauline embarkation and Pcntecostal tongues and seven trumpets that sounded over Patmos have sjomc to the world in liquid, symmetrical, picturesque, philosophic, unrivaled Greek, instead of the gibebrish language in which many of the nations of the earth at that time jabbered. Who can forget I it, and who can exaggerate its thrilling importance, that Christ and heaven were introduced to 11s in the language of the Greeks, the language in which I

Homer had sung and Sophocles dramatized and Plato dialogued and Socrates discoursed and Lycurgus legislated and Demosthenes thundered his oration 011

ing. Ignoring Egyptian precedents and borrowing nothing from other nations, Greek architecture carved its own columns, set its own pediments, adjusted its own entablatures, rounded its own moldings and carried out as never before the three qualities of right building, called by an old author "firmitas,

medical treatment when it

and Hiltiades addressed him. saying-

1

"The Crown?" From the Greeks the world learned how to make history. Had there been no Herodotus and Thucydidcs there would have b?en no Macaulay or Bancroft. Had there been no Sophocles in tragedy there would have been no Shakespeare. Had there been no Homer there would have been no Milton. The modern wits, who are now or 1 have been put on the divine mission of making the world laugh at the right time, can be traced back to Aristophanes, the Athenian, and many of the jocosities that are now taken as a new had their suggestions 2.300 years ago in the fifty-four comedies of that master of merriment. Grecian mythology liar, been the richest mine from which orators and essayists have drawn their illustrations and painters the themes for their canvas, and. although now an exhausted mine. Grecian mythology has done a work that nothing else could have accomplished. Boreas, representing the north wind Sisyphus, rolling the stone up the hill, only to have the same thing to do over again Tantalus, with fruits above him that he could not reach: Achilles, with his arrows Icarus, with his waxen wings, flying too near the sun the Centaurs, half man and half beast Orpheus, with his lyre and more have helped literature, from the graduate's speech 011 commencement day to Rufus Choate's eulogium on Daniel Webster at Dartmouth.

Furthermore, all the civilized world, like Paul, is indebted to the Greeks for architecture. The world before the time of the Greeks, had built monoliths, obelisks, cromlechs, sphinxes and pyramids, but they were mostly monumental to the dead whom they failed to memorialize. We are not certain even of the names of those in whose commemoration the pyramids were built. But Greek architecture did most for the liv-

lost your bright boy or blue-eyed girl! They have found life a struggle. Oh, tell them how Christ has helped you all the way through! They are in bewilderment. Oh, tell them with how many hands of joy heaven beckons you upward! "When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of war," but when a

utilitas, venustas"—namely. firmness, warm hearted Christian meets a man usefulness, beautiful. Although the who needs pardon and sympathy and Parthenon on the Acropolis of Athens is only a wreck of the storms and earthquakes and bombardments of many cen-

comfort and eternal life then comes victory. If you can, by some incident of self-sacrifice, bring to such scholarly

turies, and although Lord Elgin took men anil women what Christ has done from one side of that building, at an for their eternal rcscuc, you may bring expense of $250,000, two shiploads of them in. Where Demosthenic elosculpture, one shipload going down in quence and Homeric imagery would the Mediterranean and the other ship- I fail a kindly heart throb may succeed, load no.v to be found in the British mil- A gentleman of this city sends me the seum, the Parthenon, though in com- statement of what occurred a few days parative ruins, has been an inspiration ago among the mines of British Columto all architects for centuries past and bia. It seems that Frank Conson and will 'be an inspiration all the time from Jem Smith wero down in the narrow now until the world itself is a temple of shaft of a mine. Hicy had loaded an ruin.' Oh. that Parthenon! One never iron bucket with coal, and Jim Hemsgets .over having once seen it. worth, seeing what must be certain

But there is another art in my mind— death to the miners beneath, threw liimthe most fascinating, elevating to the self against the cogs of the whirling divine—for which all the world owes a debt to the Hellenes that will never be paid. I mean sculpture. At least

windlass and arrested the descending bucket and saved the lives of two miners beneath. The superintendent of the

650 years before Christ the Greeks per- mine flew to the rescue anil blocked the petuated the -human face and form in machinery. When Jim Hemsworth's terra ootta and marble. What a bless- bleeding and broken body was put on ing to the human family that men anil a litter and carried homeward and some women, mightily useful, who could live one exclaimed. "Jim, this is awful!" he only within a century may be pcrpetu- replied, "Oh, what's the difference so ated for five or six or ten centuries! long as I saved the boys?" How I wish that some sculptor conteni- I What an illustration it was of sufferporaneous with Christ could have put 'nS for others, and what a text from His matchless form in marble! which to illustrate the behavior of our

Yea, for the science of medicine, the Christ, limping and lacerated and brokgreat art of healing, we must thank the I cn and torn and crushed 111 the work ol Greeks. There is the immortal Greek stopping the descending ruin that would doctor, Hippocrates, who first opened I have destroyed our souls! Try such a the door for disease to go out and scene of vicarious sufiering as this on health to come in. He first set forth that man capable of overthrowing all the importance of cleanliness and sleep,

1

your arguments for the truth, and he

making the patient before treatment to will sit down and weep. Draw your ilbe washed and take slumber on the hide lustrations from the classics, and it is to of a sacrificed beast. lie first discov- hini an old story, but I.eyden jars and ered the importance of thorough diag- 1 electric batteries and telcscopes and nosis. He formulated the famous bath Greek drama will all surrender to the of Hippocrates which is taken by phy- story of Jim Ilenmsworth's "Oh, what's sicians of our day. He emancipated 1 the difference so long as I saved the medicine from superstition, empiricism kojr? and priestcraft. He war. the father of all I Then, if your illustration of Christ's the infirmaries, hospitals and medical self-sacrifice, drawn from some scene of colleges of the last twenty-three ccntur- today, and your story of what Christ has ies. Ancient medicament and surgery done for you do not quite fetch him into had before that been anatomical and the

rght

physiological assault and battery, and sor—doctor—judge, why was it that long alter the time of Hippocrates, the declared he was a debtor to the Greek doctor, where his theories were Greeks? Ask your learned friend to not known, the Bible speaks of fatal

1

disease he sought not to the Lord, but

to the physicians, and Asa slept with

put her down. The other nations, be-

fore thev open thc portholes of their

men-of-war against that small kingdom, 1

Miltiades, triumphed over 100,oco of

their enemies. At that time, in Greek

tak-'

says,

"I11 his

1

111,0

United Europe 'today had not Pcnt- because lie hath appointed a day 1'otter think that he Greeks will not which lie will judge the world 111 rightfight. There may be fallings back and eousncss,

against it. Callimachus presided at the ,',1c Grcelts. And now to God the council of war, had the deciding vote, I J:ilther:

"It now rests with you, CaiJim?chus,

-10.-V.,l|

1 1 give fair field and no favor, we are

able to get the best of it in thc engage nient.' That won the vote of Callimachus. and soon thc battle opened, and in full run the men of Miltiades fell upon the Persian hosts, shouting: "On, sons of Greece! Strike for the freedom of your country! Strike for thc freedom of your children and your wives, for thc shrines of your fathers'gods and for the scpulchcrs of your sires!" While onlv

But now comes the practical question. How can we pay the debt or a part of it? For we cannot pay more than ten per ccnt. of that debt in which Paul acknowledged himself a bankrupt. By praying Almighty God that lie will help Greece in its present war with Mohammedanism and the concerted empires of Europe. I know her queen, a noble. Christian woman, her face the throne of all beneficencc and loveliness

way just say to him, "Profes-

tlle

Greek testament and translate

f°r you, in his own way, from Greek

English, the splendid peroration of

P:iul's

his fathers." power of which the scholarly Dionysius Furthermore, all the world is obligat- surrendered—namely, "The times of this ed to Hellas more than it can ever pav ignorance God winked at, but now for its heroics in the cause of libertv anil commandcth all men everywhere to reTight.

sermon 011 Mars hill, under the

!-v

vacillations and temporary defeat, but ordained, whereof He hath given assurif Greece is right all Europe cannot

that man whom He hath

allcc lllUo :ll) 1110,1 tllat

llim fronl thc

llad

at

G,oci

G,lost be honor

antJ vlctor'

either to enslave Athens, or, lv insur- I *n. •"'mcning her freedom, to win yourself an immortality of fame, for never since the' ,, Tubi-rrb ii.rcrtton. Athenians were a people were they in

He hath raised

d«id." By the time he

Sot through the translation from

lhe

had better read of thc battle of Mara- tremble, and there will come a pallor thon, where TO,000 Athenians, led on by

Greek I think you will see his lip

011 ll,s f:lcc hke thc

Pallor

011

the sky

daybreak. By the eternal salvation

1 of that

council of war, five generals were for splendid man, you will have done somebeginning the battle and five were

scholar, that great thinker,, that

l!linP

to

hclP

P3?

'ollr

indebtedness to

the

So"

?111(1

Gocl the

alul

f1?1?

«lor-v

aml

dominion

sonS-

Dr-

such danger as they are in at this mo- 'isted on the fact, observed by others, ment. If they bow the knee to these '-hat thc breath of tuberculous persons Medes, they are to be given up to Hip pias, and you know what thev will then have to suffer, but ii Athens comes victorious out of this contest she has it in her power to become thc first city of Greece. our vote is to decide whether we arc to join battle or not. Ii we do not bring on a battle presently, some factious intrigue will disunite the Athenians. and thc city will be betrayed to the Medes, but if we fight before there is ens

world

without

Cornet, of Berlin, has lately in-

3ocs not contain tiny bacilli, but that ihoy are confined to the sputa, and that, •.heir vitality not b3ing destroyed by lessication. infection taites place only A-hen they are dilTiuod like dust through tho air from sputa allowed to 3ry on the floor or in handkerchiefs. Dr. HcaumeU roports a striking illusr.ition from its danger. In a largo s,,ablishmcnt 111 l'aris, whoro twentyi'.'O clerks were employed for eight

,1 c. t.i 1 »'-'0 clerics were employed for eight

^1° J" rt.ours daily in an ill-ventilated room, iv in a a

0 fewer tflan

fou,l(Jen

r.ho.v

died

of

julous since tho lirst, eleven years apro.

had been in the habit of expectorating on the floor, which was ill-laid md rough and swept each morning, tho men often entering while tho air j! tho office was charged with the dust raised by tho process.

IVort'.i Trytnir.

192 Greeks fell. 6.400 Persians lay dead public garden)—Look at that sign, upon thc field, and many of the Asiat hosts who took to the war vessels in the harbor were consumed in the shipping.

her life an example of nol.^e wifehood ably the reason for tho popular prejuand motherhood. God help those pal- S dice against it. Wo eat more meet in aces in these days of awful exigency! this country than any people in Europe, Our American Senate did well the other and cheese ought largely to take its day, when in that capitol building place. which owes to Greecc its columnar im- Sometimes when a very heavy grain pressiveness, they passed a hearty reso- crop has Deen grown the field is more lution of sympathy for that nation. easily prepared for wheat seeding by Would that all who have potent words burning over the stubble. A few furthat can be heard in Europe would ut- rows should be plowed next the fences, ter them now, when they are so much to prevent the tire spreading where not needed! Let us repeat to them in Eng- I wanted. Oat stubble, however large, Iish what they centuries ago declared to does not burn as easily as that°of the world in Greek, "Blessed are those wheat. Its stalk is not so firm. Io who are persecuted for righteousness's

1

tcllectual realms they are masters. They can out-argue, oit-quote, out-dogma-tize you. Not through the gate of the head, but through the gate of the heart, you may capture them. When men of learning and might are brought to God, they are brought by the simplest story

Softlcigh (walking in tho BostoL

'No Dogs Allowcil in this Garden! Friend--Well, what of it? Softleigh—I'm going to have ono ol those 011 my place next year. The dogs have scratched up everything we have planted this season and how nice everything looks here!

TVe do not understand why cheese is not more generally used as food by all classes. In England it largely taites the place of meat, which it supercedes, not only because of its cheapness, but its superior.ty. The poor quality poor quality of much cheese offered in market is prjb-

burning wheat stubble many Hassian

sal-i", for theirs is the kingdom of heav- 1 Hies will usually be destroyed, thus en." making it safer to sow wheat after But there is a better way to pay wheat. them, and that is by their personal sal- Sometimes after threshing cows vation, which will never come to them turned into tho barnyard at night, through books or through learned pre- with access to afresh straw stack, will sentation, because in literature and in- 1 pick at tho chaff and eat enough to di-

minish their milk flow. It is this often, rather than the diminished pasture, that lessons tho milk yield at this season. We have known farmers to put a fence around the stack, so as to keep their cows from injuring themselves at it, as a simple minded person

of what religion can do for a soul, is said once to have put a fence around They have lost children. Oh, tell them I very poor'lot to keep his stock from how Christ comforted you when you I til*ziafr on it— American Cultivator.

,, HE WAS WELL TRAINED.

Carl Dundor Wm Laying Low to c«t I Thorough Education and lie

ot

i't

"WiAi! well!" exclaimed

Kir*(ia,tI

Hendall in grc-it surprise, as ('aiilji.l dor softly entered the Woudij^]',' Street Station Saturday afternoon, "j thought you had started for sure." ••Not oxaetly," replied Mr. I)nniier ns he blew his nose with great cumiilj! cency. "lint where have you been?" "Sergeant, vlias 1 some greenhorns" "You don't look to be." "If some cow meets me on ilcr strtc. would she lake nie for hay?".

1

••Hardly." "If you vlias some gonfidenep

r,ni!

would von try to play a game 011 nic3" "I don't think so. But what ilo voa mean by all this?" ••Sergeant, I used to be

lil(. S0!r(

oabbagehead. liafcrypody heats iW Eafervpody laughs at me, mid I liku,,, go back to Shoniiany. Dis vlias all shanged now." '•How?" "Vhell, I keeps quiet for dor la«t dj weeks und gel posted. If soin(']ioilT can make fun of me now I like to «i him do it. I vlias right on to all i]P. tricks you eafer heard of, und I

CMi

spot a sharper two blocks awav. Ynj won't liaf to tell me any more to slime-] into dot river." "I'm rejoiced at the news. Now to' me who posted you?" "A feller from New York. Ho take| me in a class all alone for $15 perweeL How vlias dot. eh?"

And lie threw up his right arm a® made along jump sideways, knockisj a chair over anil scaring a boy out ol years growth. "That's pretty good. What kind a movement do you call it?" "Dot vlias a nickel-plate movemoal to be practiced if a man shumps 0111 of der alley to hit you mit a sainl-vlni When dot club conies down you va«t feet away. Dot probably safes my one tousand times." "What else?" "Veil, if a tief come arount I c: spot him like grease rolling off a lo" •IIow?" '•He carries his left hand in pocket, uud can't look you in dor I can pick 'em ouilt der street by dozen." "That's a good thing, and 3*011 oii:l to start a detective bureau. Auvihu else?" "1 should slimilc! Sergeant, if vl vlias some pickpocket, where you 1 for my money, eh?" "In your breast pocket." "So? 11a! ha! ha! Dot vhas anotJ trick! I put my handkerchief o| here, und if a tief goes to rob me he

1

nottings. Dot probably safes mo million dollars." "Y-e-s. Anything more!" "Vliel, suppose I vhas in Chiwj und a bunko man likes to make mc victim. If it vhas you, vhat would do?" "I don't know." "Ha! ha! ha! It pays me to lesj dot. It safes me tousands of dollsi 1 shustvink at him—so, und say: 'IM vhas coons to-day?' and off lie pJ Dot makes him understand I vlias tier acket." •I see. What else?" "Suppose you vhas going homeI night, und a robber steps out t| wants your money or your life? Ill would you do?" "Give him my money, of course.' "You would, eh? Ha! ha!

ha!

shows who vhas a greenhorns' shouldn't do dot vliav. I should oJ my umbrella und hold it before nietl cry 'lire' as hard as I could, 'u rl ber can gel at you if you hold an if brella oudt. I know lots of oil things, but I liaf 110 more time to-ill I come down to gif you some cifl plaints. Somepody stole ILOIII I 'ast night, und dot teller fro 111 SS York vhas lost. He goes out to arwund a leedle by himself, und ba| a stranger he vhas all mixed oop can't liud his way back." "Ah! Didn't you lose a coat, toojj "Yes. It vhas behind der door, 1 somepody takes coat und money t« "Come this way."

He led him into thc lock-up, lis* him at one of the colls and

asked

if he knew the occupant. "Vhv, he vhas my trainer' claimed Mr. Dunder. "How lie in here? Vhas he some lost slul1' "He got your coat and niom yhave the coat anil most of tl'i How do you tell a thief, Mr. 1

But Mr. Dunder didn't repb hair stood up, his eves bulged he walked out of the station like going somewhere in a

nig!t«!i:

Detroit Free Press.

Two Strange

Accidents-1

Probably no set of men

pcrfor

('uties better than the railway cniij of the United States. "Engince:* firemen as a rule arc brave

am:

entious enough to stick to tiif whatever happens, and train-:oa-J passengers arc often saved fro:" ter through thc coolness

and

of an engineer in the face of K'-'l ger. Indeed, the exceptions are 1 enough to be noted, and here exceptions mentioned by the N"'! Evening Sun: "One train

Et.art",f

ing over a bank-. The cnginwj some of thc men jump. Then breaks in two. The engine with the cars that remain a't^^l brakeman crawls forward over t-:!| er and stops the runaway. ^c struck with the coincidence in cJ A gale of wind makes a tralI!jf ageable on a down grade. r.eer whistles for brakes. think it a runaway and jumpgineer follows, and then 'he crawls aft over thc tender,

5t'

brakes, and brings the runan'1-11 standstill. ,1 "A good old New England" described her mental c_xperi«1«T a runaway of the family a carry-all. 'I trusted in "r0!'J'1Id°'

said the honest soul, broke. Then. I giv' up.T It

from the two irain incidents c'1^.j that an abiding trust is saifr"1'! a policy than a hasty leap-

He H»d Tim®- i|

Husband (during

11

Q11 I

ihall never meet in heaven. Wifo-Oh. yes. we plenty 0/ time for you