Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 18 January 1896 — Page 5

A Collar The Sun Can't Hurt.

"Celluloid'' collars and cuffs arc waterproof and will uot wilt with perspiration. You can wear them on the hottest day or in the hottest place with comforting knowledge that they will look as nice when you take them off, as they were when you put lliem on. When they get soiled you can clean them yourself in a minute, with a damp cloth or sponge. Get the #Euuloio

TJl

markINTERLINED

and you'll have the right kind. They are imitated of course, bntTf yon want the genuine insist upon thOBe with above trademark.

Sold everywhere, or send direct to us. Collars fti cents, Cuffa 40 cents pair, mail&ge paid. State size and style wanted.

THE CELLUMID COMPANY, New York. A DA I I 'B thB best cleanser

I for these goods.

LOUIS M'MAINS.

Attorney At Law

—AND

General Insurance.

(SuuccsHor to C. W. Wright.

Office with Itistiue & Ristiue, 4 Fisher Building.

and

Sea utter r-ur.

Tho gen otter fetches, where the skin is ^perfect, almost any price the seller cares to ask, provided he can find a Russian, American or Chineso buyer. Tho sea ottor is nearly twico the size of the common river otter, and tbo fur, without, finishing or preparation of any kind, is more beautiful, as it is stripped from the animal, than the riohest sealBkin, which has to be scraped, plucked of the long upper hairs, and then dyed, before it conld be recognized as the beautiful object which the "finished" fur undoubtedly is. In tho soa otter's fur, the soft undercoat—the true fur—is as thiok as that of the seal, and nearly twice as long, while'the long outer hairs are as soft as a sable's tail, and often a pale gray, which gives to the whole coat an appearance as of dark fur slightly frosted over. The soa otter's range was formerly from the Aleutian islands to .California, and its destruction will be deplored by naturalists no less than by furriers.—London Spectator.

Fully Armed.

A good story is' told of a young recruit who enlisted iu a regiment stationed at Aldersliot. One day lie was on guard duty, and was slowly stepping up and down when an officer approached. After the usual saluf tho officer said "Let 1110 see your rifle.

Tho raw recruit handed over his rifle, and :i pleased expression stole over his face. As the officer received ihe weapon he said in a tone of deepest disgust: "You're a fine soldier! You'vo given tip your rifle, and now what are you going to do?"

The young fellow turned pale, and putting his hand in his pocket drew out a big knife, and, preparing for business, said in a voice that could not be misunderstood "Gi' me that rifle, or I'll bore a hole through you in a minute."

The officer instantly decided not to play any further with the raw recruit, and the rifle was promptly surrendered. —Pearson's Weekly.

iV Emma Abbott's KIm. The following is a description by the late Eugene Field of Emma Abbott's •tago kiss:

Aha, that kiss—that long, low, languishing, limpi'1 liquid, lingering kiss I 'Twas not a t. ler kiss, nor a studied kiss, nor an artihlic kiss, nor a fervent kiss, nor a boisterous kiss, nor a paroxysmal kiss, nor a nervous kiss, nor a fraternal kiss, nor a gingerly kiss, nor a diffuse kiss, nor a concentrated kiss, nor a diffident kiss, nor a popgun kiss —'twas a calm, holy, ecstatic outbreaking of two fond and trusting hearts, an intermingling of two gentle souls sano--tified by love, a communion of the intangible by tangible means, a blending of heart with heaven, in which the latter had a manifest preponderance.

A Reputation In Peril.

Mrs. Gofrequent—You'll hear of trouble in the Higgamore family one of these days.

Mrs. Alloars—Dear me. What is it? Mrs. Gofrequent—I overheard my •husband saying the other day that Higgamore was awfully stuck on May Weet. —Chicago Tribune.

Take the Queen Cnsont to Florida. -Tbe only lint* runninu Parlor, Cafe and Observation Cars South.' 7

fiTbere area dozen Rufsian provinces each larger than the State of Kansas.

Read the Big Store clearing ad.

WHAT BECOMES.OF OLD WHEELS!

Once T*«e and Stanch Friend* Now Gone to Piece*. Have you ever wondered what has become of the thousands of old solid tire wheels that were in such universal use before pneumatics revolutionized things? A reporter put the question to a dealer the other day. "A few were converted into pneumatics and cushions and are still on the streets," he said, "and some wo taken by the dealers as part payment on new maohines, and are stil) stowed away in their shops, there being no sale for solid tires. The secondhand dealers and repairers bought a groat many of them up, dissected them, so to speak, and are now utilizing the parts i:i repair work. The balls, hubs, spokes, ::cles, bolts and nuts are all useful, un! at the last the old frames and rims can be broken up and sold as scrap iron. "Some have gone to the country, and Josh Hayseed maylw seen complacently pedaling down to ilia mill for a bag of corn. Machinists use them for making .models, occasionally a pushcart will be seen mounted on two rusty old wheels, and even the boys on the street take the small wheels l'or the making of express wagons. And the balance, I suppose, you'll find stowed away iu the cellars and wood sheds of their possessors. Once true and stanch friends, they are now'of no use in the world. Abandoned to cobwebs and ashes, with no company but rats and mice, they dream away their few remaining days. Once again they stand in full suit of glittering nickel, admired, caressed and praised by all belioldersi Again they are on the road, bearing their masters in safety down long rough hills and through sand and mud. Once again they see the smooth, hard track respond to the efforts of the riders as they throw every ounce of effort into the last sprint, and hear the shouts of the excited crowds as they whiz across the tape. Abandoned and alone, eating out their hearts with rust, they gradually drop to pieces, too proud of their vanished prestige to give one thought of envy to the modern pneumatic."—Washington Star.

AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE.

A Burglar Conferred a Favor bjr Opening a Safe. The proprietor of a large store on High street went to his place of business at an unusually early hour the otlier morning. In fact, the sun had not yet risen when he turned the key in the door. On entering he was surprised to find a man trying to open the door of his safe.

He stood and watched him for some time,1 apparently deeply interested in the proceedings, when finally the burglar swung open the door of the safe with a delighted chuckle, but happening to turn he saw that he was discovered and became very much alarmed. He jumped up and was about to raako his escape through a back window when the merchant called to him: "Don't be in a hurry, my friend. Come back and sit down awhile and smoke a cigar while I straighten things up a bit, and then come home to breakfast with me. You have done me a great favor." "Why, how's that?" asked the burglar iu great surprise. "Well, you see, I had the combination of the safe on a bit of paper, and last night I accidentally locked it in the safe and forgot how to work it. I spent most of the night trying to get tho thing open and came in early this morning to have another try at it."—West Medford (Mass.) Windmill.

A Terrible Scene.

istrobschneider, the famous aeronaut, astonished the natives of Stockerau, near Vienna, by carrying 11 young barrister on his back along a tight rope 80 meters in length fixed to the church steeple. A few days later flaming posters appeared on the walls announcing that Strohschneider would effect balloon ascent in the company of Herr Pramper, the popular landlord of the White Rase.

Notwithstanding the fact that the police had forbidden the landlord, who has a large family, from taking part in the performance, mine host entered the inclosure at the appointed time, to the no small delight of the assembled multitude. At a given signal the balloon rose in the air, Strohschneider and the landlord sitting on tho trapeze beneath. Some of the spectators declare that tho latter turned as pale as a sheet dui ing his upward flight, though he did not fail to wave his hat to the crowd. After reaching a dizzy height the two builoo^ were observed to quarrel and actuary come to blows.

All at once the landlord plunged headlong into space. A shout of horror arrtse from the spectators, who ran to the spot where they expected to find Fran.per lying with broken limbs. What was their astonishment at disepvering, not a corpse, but a lay figure dressed in one of the landlord's suits. The mannikin was conveyed to Stockerau in triumph.— Herriedener Laubfrosch.

For Wheelmen.

A certain lawyer's face was a puzzle the other day as he pored over a pamphlet. Finally he broke out with: "What the deuce they call this The Law Bulletin for I can't see."

His companion shouted with laughter. "It's The L. A. W. Bulletin, you Jay I" he cried, and then he chortled in Lis glee.—Worcester Gazette.

Useless Question.

"Dis ting's got to go t'rough," said tne of the aldermen at the committee laeeting. "Dere's money in it." "Fur de city?" asked a member of the council.

And the only reply he got was the glassy stare.—Chicago Tribune.

Malicious.

A.—Tom must have had an awful cold when he became engaged. B.—Why?

A.—Because when one has a cold one has no taste.—Fliegende Blatter.

LETTERS COST $1 APIECE.

California Miner*£ined Up For the Mail, and Place* Were Worth 63OO, A well known patent attorney in this city, who was in California in the early mining days, apropos the publication in Tbe Post of the cost of carrying mails on the Yukon, makes some interesting statements about similar service on the Pacific coast in 1849-50: "We had to pay fl for every letter sent or received," he states, "besides the government postage. We were in the mines and had to send a messenger, with an order for the postmaster to deliver to him our mail at Saoramento, a distance of from 75 to 100 miles, according to the location of the camps. Parties made a business of carrying the mail and had regular routes ^around through the mining camps. "At that time mail went by way of the isthmus, there being but one steamer every three weeks. As a result, at San Francisco and at Sacramento, the two main offices and supply points for the state, there would be a large crowd waiting every time a mail arrived. They finally adopted a rule among themselves requiring all to form in line and take their turn, and hundreds stood or laid in line day and night. to keep their places, sometimes several days before they could be served, the line being formed days before the steamer arrived. Resident speculators would take position in the line, and when they had advanced near the door would sell their place to others from the mines, who were waiting, frequently getting from $100 to *300. "Such a thing can hardly be believed by those who have never had any such experience, but in the fall of 1849 an ox team driver got $10 per day and board, Sundays being counted the same as other days, while carpenters got from an ounce ($16) to an ounce and a half per day, everything else costing in proportion, and hence the mail carriers for tho mines could better afford to pay for the position in line than to wait on expense and lose the time, they sometimes being kept waiting for a week before they could get all their mail for the several camps. "One of the curious sights was tho sale of the New York papers. As soon as the steamer arrived a man or boy with a lot of papers would rush ashore, mount a box and just as fast as he could hand out tho papers and make change dispose of them at $1 each. Of course in time all this changed, but communication with the States was then so slow and the time required so great that to ns, isolated as we were from home and friends and the whole outside world, it seemed almost an eternity.''—Exchange.

A Misfit.

"Yes," he answered, as he seemed to huddle himself in a heap. "I've done some odd things in my time. I've jumped from a train running at a speed of 48 miles an hour, and I can't say as I want to repeat the experiment.'' "What was the occasion?" "Three years ago. I did it for a bet of 20 shillings. The bet was that I daren't walk out on the platform and take the jump without picking out my ground. As it happened the ground was pretty clear, but £1,000,000 wouldn't get me to try it again." "How did you come out?" "Well, it's hard to describe tho sensation. As I sprang from the step I seemed to fly. I sailed along in the air until my wings grew tired, and then I dropped down to see the country. Sometimes I beat the professionals all hollow, and again I made a mess of it. It was my intention to skip all the mud puddles and avoid all the stumps, but you can't always have your own way in this world. By and by I came up with a bang in a ditch corner, and waited for a first class hospital to visit me." "Much linrt?" "Might have been worse. Broke an arm, two ribs and had over 100 cuts and bruises, and it was seven weeks before I could walk a yard." "But you won the 20 shillings?" "Y-e-s, but there is where I always grow sad. The stakeholder forwarded it to me from his town in tbe shape of a coffin, and it didn't fit my length by seven inches. I had to sell the confounded thing as a misfit at half price."— Strand Magazine.

He Got the Messaged

An experienced telegraph operator can from listening to the sounds understand a message on one kind of telegraph instrument without seeing it at alL One day an inspector walked into an office and began to question the clerk in charge. Suddenly a message began to arrive, and the clerk sat down to writo it. The message was as follows. "Look out for squalls. The inspector is somewhere on the lino and will be poking his nose iu everywhere."

The inspector smiled as he listened to the message, while the poor clerk looked quite helpless. His superior, however, went to the instrument and sent back the answer: "Too late. He has already poked his uo.-o in here."— Pearson's Weekly.

Wan It Fate?

Those who hold that no man can avoid his fate may find support for their doctiine in the experience of Charles J. Wollerof Elkhart, Ind. He was employ at griming at lin emery wheel, but lisai-'.n the pos:tiou a* d.ingerons li. jidfi n: 'ii esignation. Jb'ivo minutes bef-v" -tin for ending his last day :.t n.c v. «,rk .0 wheel burnt and killed I: ... ..wtdphia Ledger. I

1 •••.• of knocking out another i.. .i.us because he differs in ii. ib you. It would be as rational t^ lin.clr yi.in-self c:i the head because you diffci from yourself ten year.•go.—Horace Mann.

In 1880 the gross product of the woo! •n mills* was valued at $267,000,000 tenjrdars later it had lncreasl-atu $38 •00,000.

-VN IMPECUNIOUS ONE.

THE BOLD GAME OF BLUFF HE PLAYED ON THE CONDUCTOR.

He Wm Not a Gaftibler or a Drummer, bnt a Bank Clerk—According to the Man Who Tells the 8tory, He Ought to

Be an Actor—Oh, It Was Wickedt

He sat in a hotel smoking room. The air was blue, but men were happy— happy and reminiscent. He stretched out his legs, thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and between the puffs spun this yarn: "For dead cold, icy nervo I had always thought we traveling men took the cake. But the prettiest game of bluff I ever saw was put up by a man who was neither a drummer nor a reporter, but merely an overworked bank clerk who had applied for a leave of absence and gone south to recuperate. He had drawn a certain sum for the trip and resolved not to exceed it. Foolishly he had neglected to buy an excursion ticket, arguing that he might want to return by a different route. And then, as a matter of course, he found that he had spent his money not wisely but too well, so that he was hundreds of miles from home, ticketless and friendless and well nigh penniless. His checkbook was useless, for no ono knew him and ho must be identified. "All this I learned later on. My acquaintance with him began on the train of one of the southern roads, wheu he asked me to stake him enough to see him home. I had already been 'touched' sevoral times that trip, so, expressing every confidence in his probity, I declined the honor he would do me. He tried several other passengers with a liko result. Then he gave it up, but made us all promise not to interfere with any game he tried to play. "Presently the conductor came along. Tho impecunious one, his hat cocked over one eye, was peacefully sleeping in one corner of his seat, leaning toward jiu open window. Tbe conductor shook him, gently at first, so that he stirred, and his hat dropped farther over his oye, but he did not wake. Then more roughly, saying, 'Come, sir, your ticket, please.' "At that the impecunious one awoke with a big start. His hat flew out of the window, and he flew into a great rage. He swore at the conductor and abused him up and down, him and bis forefathers unto the third and fourth generation. What did he mean by waking him iu that way? Didn't he know that rest was invaluable to an invalid? That such 11 sudden, rude awakening might be fatal to a weak heart? Were his nerves of no account? And now be had lost his hat and would catch cold. It was outrageous. "The conductor bowed before the storm, and when it had somewhat abated offered to replace the bat at tho first stopping place. 'And now, sir, let me see your ticket, please.' "The impecunious one felt in all his pockets, went through them all again with a bewildered air. Finally he broke out:"'Why, you idiot, you, all my tickets, not only on this road, but straight through to Chicago, were in the lining of my hat, and you knocked it out of the window. I'm in a pretty pickle now. I haven't enough with me to buy a fresh set. This piece of idiocy will cost you your job. I'll report you to the company and teach you to be more careful how you startlo a nervous man.' "The conductor tried to soothe him, offered to take liim through to the end of the division. Bat tho impecunious one would not be appeased. Mnctegood it would do him to be landed in some little nearby, ore horse southern town hundreds of miles from nowhere. He wanted to get through to Chicago. He must got Jhrough. He h-.irt an appointment there ,:it was worth thousands of dollars. Final'v '.ho conductor, by this time b:ir!!y friphtennl. worrisH to get him tickets or passes till the way through, r1 irupr?r:r::fn8 one subsided. And 10 1 ho euM or that road tho conductor, having mpln',,-l tho dear doparted hat, maim amen a:i humbly apologetic tone liiac\. 1 hr.v.! wrung tears of blood a st .. "And it was oniy a biutf all so well carried crt thrt tV.o ::ductor waa completely tr'.k-Ti :•. r-t of us rubbed our oy-n r::d wor.'l' i-.'d *vhether the iinpecuir'cv c::Vs r.':enr:t to touch us was no\ r.f' r!!. a drc-.:m. "Later on, t-avehu ov: thit samroad, I tolrl t!:e co:idr-ci»:r !v:w hat" been worked. /. In :-aid he v.- it. for shortlyaf^er rij 'e had ltoeivpd a letter and a ci'."cl:, too iriiior confessing the fraud. ..«s hr p.y '.'.1.1 the full pi 1, u\ added: "li: .- :i •.. had made ia-s v'sets, I'd bavo bn.u 11 .1 s.,r.iute, bnt ls?s t.

v-c it

was his nerv l-t.! h. h:s hr I..hat that weie mince. Am in at I ii or hat—or i:c :. it \v:«« But that man 1.: 1 lr's vocaM' n. He ought to be 0:1 tho stage.' "—Chicago Tribune.

A Little r?!i nasty.

"Doctor," said a cl.'rirpssod "wife to the family physician, as l:c was coming down sta'rs from H** pr.ti^nt's room, "can you give me no hope of my husband? Can nothing be done?" "Madam," said the delighted doctor, rubbing his hands, "allow me to congratulation. Our patient has taken a turn for the betcer, and now we may (tope to have him about again in a few weeks." "Oh, dootor 1" exclaimed the horrified lady, throwing up her hands. "You told me he ooald not possibly get better, and I have sold all his clothes!"—Pearion's Weekly.

A Mystery.

Watts—Statesman Witts says he never pays any. attention to the papers. Potts—Sf? Wonder how he geta hold of all hia j6kea.—Indianapolis Journal.

.THE

I

45

$10 $15

S"cl{ldC.TbMn WaeDU ia°mod.''

G-

$25,000 Bankrupt Stock

°t the Cordova Clothing Co., at 25 west Washington street, Indianapolis, has been bought by the

At 50 cents on the dollar. We are now selling this great stock of Mens' and Boys' buits and Overcoats and Furnishings at

Exactly Half Price!

Mens $10 Suits and Overcoats.. nr» SI5

$30 .. }2.oo Boys $5 Suits and Overcoats.. «r«

Pants, Furnishing G§ods, the entire Cordova stock at just half the Cordova Prices Every Garment is strictly reliable. Everyone is sold for much less than the original manusacturing cost. You will save many times your railroad fare to Indianapolis if you come now and buy your Clothing from this stock.

Model Clothing Company.

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.

THE SOLDIERS' COLONY, FITZGERALD, GA.

Is located ia that section of Qoorgla traversed by the

GEORGIA SOUTHERN & FLORIDA RAILWAY

Ufilpk4® only direct through rdtito to the capital of tho colony connecting at Titton with th*

L°UU

llre°t

A Few Pacts.—Florida.

Wlth0at

Those who contemplate a winter's trip to thie amiable climate will bear in mind the Big Four Rout6 is the "best line" geographically and bubstantially from all points East, Northeast, North. Northwest and West. Solid trains of magnificent Wagner Buffet Sleeping Cars, BuffetParlor Care, elegant Coaches and Dining Cars daily from New York, Boston, Buffalo, Cleveland, Columbus, Sandusky, Chicago, St. Louis, Peoria, Indianapolis and intermediate points to Cincinnati, where direct connection is made in Central Union Station without transfer across the city, with through trains of Pullman Sleeping cars te Jacksonville, via the Queen & Crescent Route and Louisville & Nashville Railway.

For full particulars call on Agent Big Four Route or address E. O. MCCokmick, D. B. MAKTIN,

Pass. Traffic Mgr. Gen'l Pass. & Ticket Agt.

Home Seekers' Excursions

Big Four route on January 13th, 14th, 27th, 28th, February 10th, 11th, March 0th and 10th.

Home-seekers excursion tickets will be Bold at very low rates from points on the Big Four Route to many points in Alabama, Florida, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, Arizona, Arkansas, Indian Territory, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Texas and Virginia For full information as to rates, routes, tickets, limits, etc., call on agent Big Four Route, or address E. O. MoCormick, D. B. Martin,

Pass. Traffic M'g'. Gen. Pass. & Tkt. Agt.

Buoklen's Arnica Salve.

The Beat Salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sires, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and positively cures piles, or no pay required. It ii guaranteed to give pe» feet satisfaction or money eunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale by Nye & Booe. ly

Read the Big Store olearing ad.

Company

10. Oo

cllanso-

7.50

Th8 8eotlon la

The Great Fruit Belt of the South.

In it aro located the Urgest poach ortharfe in tho world, while Pears, Apples. Cranes, and The soil ia easily oaltlrated and produces line crops of corn, eats. rye. Barley, cotton, sugar cane, sweet and Irish potatoes, peas and a general variotv of vecetablna The climato t&Ud and hoalthfui. Lands sonveniently located to shipping points can be prol cured for froia $5 to$10 per acre, on liberal terms. /orillusfrtt'ed pamphlet, map, land lUti.tlme-tabloas. etc.. write to

w^ch thl»CO'OBI"

VV. L. GLII98NKR,

(»em 11 ass, Agt., Macou Qa. ComraiMioner of Immigration, Macon, Ga.

Miss Cora Davidson formerly a clerk in McClure & Graham was united ia marriage last week to Irwin Dwiggins' of Alvion III,

Jesse Coyner wants a divorce from his wife, Martha. He says in his complaint that she is mean and has treated him like a "Fido."

The Clpper base ball club will give a dance in the T\ O. S. of A. hall on Thursday, Jan. 30. The proceeds go to buy new suits.

The Knights of St. John are spending a great deal of time drilling and they will undoubtedly win first prize at the June meeting.

It is said that W. R. McKeen, jr., a son of President McKeen of the Vandalia, is to be appointed master mechanic of that company.

Jasper Gobel, died at his home in Whitesville of Dropsy. The deceased was 53 yeare of rge and was at one time post master at that place. The funeral occurred yeBtarday.

Perry R. Tulley and Harlan Hailey,. both prominent business men of Hendricks county, have failed. Their combined indebtedness will amount to $50,000. Hadley's troubles were brought about by those of Tulley.

Awarded

Highest Honors—World's Fair»

DR

VINE*

w.

CREAM

BAKING P0WNR

MOST PERFECT MADE.

A pure Grape Cream of Tartar Powder. Free from Ammonia, Alum or any other adulterant. 40 YEARS THE STANDARD.