Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 30 December 1893 — Page 5

PARK' SIDE LIGHTS.

THB SWILL BOAROINO HOUSB AND ITS TENANTS.

tu a»T American Widow la Often KM* of OoatMitioa—Ix-CMhitr aad Treasurers from America

Alio Nameroas.

Arm 'f

[Paris Correspondence.] NTERTNO THE great common door-way of the »P a boardinghouse for half a dozen families, a ..winding1 marble staircase will be seen upon the right, handsome to pretentiousness, and taking up a deal of

space. Behind it is an open court, gloomy but clean, whose only purpose is to give light. Upon the left you have the concierge's lodge. When the concierge is not eating or sleeping, he is walking about with a broom in his hand. His wife appears only to eat and sleep and answer questions. The two live in this one small room, directly beside the gteat door. Their bed is visible throughout the day,covered with a decent blue silk edredon and canopied in some red stuff,like the bedstead of some ancient king- Beside the bed, on a little shelf, hangs a pneumatic tube connected with the catch of the big door of the street. When you come in at night you invariably stand outside and ring at first. He reaches sleepily over to the shelf, pushes the button and the compressed air does the rest. The big door swings open, you shut it behind you and then, walking past the concierge's door, you call out loudly your name, "Jackson!" "Smithers"' "Vasscur!" or whatever it may'be.

It is the concierge's business to know the voices and names of all the people in the house. The name, age, nationality, and previous last residence of each newcomer i6 reported to the concierge by the locataires of the different apartments, who transmits them on regulation printed forms to the police. Apart from these duties the concierge must receive all letters and packages and "mount" them to their destination three times each day must answer the questions of callers, "Is Mmc. X. cliez elle?" and keep the stairway and the big hall clean.

Because the house is comparatively new it has an elevator. There is no elevator boy you work the thing yourself. 11 can only take two people going up, and you are forbidden to use it at all going down—it wastes the power. An immense iron rod, as thick around as a girl's waist and as long as a liberty pole, supports the car for safety, and its ponderous weight dragged up and down, after a fashion that seems to us Americans so useless, forbids'anything lilce speed. Hie elevator crawls.

The elevator is only for the use of "masters all servants, laundresses, shop runners, and the like must take stairs. These come to our pension in inconceivable numbers, with boxes, bundles, bags and packages. From the Louvre, the Bon Marche, the Printemps and the choicer, smaller shops, especially of the Rue de la Paix and Rue de Rivoli, the uniformed delivery men come daily to this tourist camping ground and this in spite of the assertion you hear 'each evening in the sakn, that nothing is cheap in PariB, except gloves.

Tlie pension has four floors of the apartment house. The bel elage (the premier above the entresol) is given oyer to the public life. There iB a wide hallway where gentlemen may smoke after lunch and dinner for a half hour or so, but at no other time two dining rooms, not too handsome, and often crowded, and one large parlor. The floor is in hard wood, polished and laid out in patterns. Its furniture is handsome, if formal, in rococo style, with lavish gilding and pale silk.

It must be confessed that the conversation of this salon is not always of the arts and sciences. An American corporation has recently established itself ia France. The wife of one official, living in this pension, was wont to cpunt the weeks unti-l the wife of another official should arrive to bear her company. They had never met before, but 011 the second day they were as thick as capitalists, until a difference arose. "My dear, I would buy that hat." "I can't afford it." •, "Why, your husband has a good salary. He is cashicr." "He iB treasurer." replied the first. "Cashier!" "Treaourer!" /. "He is cashier! And my husband is vice-president! And my husband ean send your husband back to America if he pleases, madame!"

Now they do not speak, but their husbands grin mutually as they pass each other in the corridor: and neither in their official intercourse nor in their little jaunts about the town, picking up conversational French, has any lack of harmony been brought about.

The wife of the proprietor of the pension is such a charming lady, with a mouth so full of those platitudes in which the French delight, so good natured and so sympathetic, that a lonely American widow with a disposition to chronic sadness and theological questionings became captivated with her goodness in two short weeks. Contrary, to European practice, she made a friend of madame. It was summer time, ^nd the two small children of the pension were home on their school vacation. Like nearly all French people who have any religion at all, their motheir is a Roman Catholic. The American widow, having been Methodist, Presbyterian and agnostic

tft too* vlll year er theeaaphy ul Swedenbergianism, found a peouiiar res%fttlae*s in hearing the lit» tie ones say their prayer* at night The half-darkened bed .chamber, tile mother kneeling by the two, the dignity and sobriety of the functien, with the clear French words falling from their infant lips in balanced sentences, gave her a thrill she had not felt fkr years. The American widow bought a catechism and the children, with the fervor of youth, began to hear her lessons. In answer to the alarmed questionings of a ritualistic Anglican pastor—they call them all "pastors" In French, to their disgust—she said: "I judge a tree by its fruits. Madame is so good that I am sure her religion must be the true one." Others, who saw an inevitable disturbance ahead from this mixing up of business, social intercourse, and religion between people so unfit to understand each other as an American widow and a Freneh wife, warned her she was placing madame at a disadvantage.

The inevitable arrived. The house that was built on the sands succumbed to a tiny freshet. The American found the French woman scolding her husband for having bought two pounds of beef too much at market, which straightway decided her against the Catholic church. And now at every extra added to her weekly bill, every mistake in the numbering of the wash, every time she gets a chicken leg when her neighbor gets a wing, she feels that religion is a mockery in Paris.

Nine francs a day (SI. 80) is the cheapest board one gets in such a pension. This includes meals without wine, attendance, a candle and a small room heated by an open grate fire, whose fuel is extra. This heating is assisted, or made less necessary excepting in the coldest weather, by a feebling working system of hot air registers, whoso ineffectual zephyrs cost you nothing. To keep a good fire in the grate you must expend some 30 cents a day for soft coal, coke and handsome little briquettes briquettes are coal dust cemented into cakes. For lighting you have kerosene, some 15 cents each time your lamp is filled. You are requested, to patronize madam's laundress it is advisable to "gratify" the servants punctually.

The first breakfast consists of chocolate. tea, or cafe-au-lait, with butter and a roll, served in your room. The lunch, dejeuner a la fourchette, brings fish or eggs, a chop or steak, a vegetable ami fruit and cheese. At this meal, as at dinner, the final cup of black coffee is charged oxtra. Dinner comes along at o:30 p. m. with soup, fish, boiled meat, a vogetable, roast chicken or turkey—never "stuffed," but with its scattered members sprawling in a sea of watery gravy in the usual French style—then a sweet and a fruit follow a salad, with cheese and coffee and the little glass. The table

AU) FROM THB MAID.

and always without pleasant flavor, always dear in proportion to both its worth and outside price.

The servants in this pension dre jewels. The ladies are never tired of praising them, Like all French servants, they are handy and cheerful, with a great capacity for enthusiasm. By a little tipping a ladv can have the parlor maid transform herself into her private femmc de chambre for the moment another tipping will find the cook sending up surreptitious dainties to your room, and a third gratification will send the bonne a-smuggling brandy, tea and cigarettes.

The points of superiority these Paris pensions have over those of a similar class in America 'are cleanliness, the presence of solid and handsome furniture that does not look bo obviously factory made, tasteful wall decorations. fine windows of plate glass, reaching almost to the floor on each story, and the cheerfulness withprivate services, out of their regular routine, are rendered by domestics. The disadvantages, from the American point of view, consist in inevitable draughts from the handsome door-like ilate glass windows, in the incapable ut esthetic heating apparatus of the open grate, in the perfunctoriness of the bathrooms, and in the enforced drinking of wine, beer and table waters instead of the free and open fountain of the silver-plated ice pitcher. In spite of the new aqueduct from the River Arve, everybody has a tenderness about drinking the Parrs water. The pension claims to boil and filter rt. but no one drinks the stuff.

plate glass windows, in tne mcapaoie

but esthetic heating apparatus of the

The use of the bath, in all but houses of the highest fashion, is not prized in France. The thing is so slowly coming into vogue that fine apartment houses, built ten years ago. have ordinarily but one tub to each apartment, and that a little metal coffin, into which the water must be thrown from a bucket. Illuminating gas is next to unknown. The sickly, yellow-burn-ng French petroleum smells ami smokes. It is high in price, being taxed on coming into the country crude, taxed in its manufacture, with an extra octroi or .municipal tax or. coming into Paris after it is refined. The Standard Oil company, which has established itself at Rouen, is abi-ut to make a new departure and give the French good oil. But they have the Russian oil to compete with, a bad

thing in these days of Franco- Russian

GOSSIP OF GOTHAM.

FLOTSAM THB

A N JBT8AM MKTROPOLI8.

••in* Iaild* expedition

PROM

'•Hi iboil the r«arjr to Ui Northern Sau—

Blabopa Ctrtlfan and Uyma—Ftatt Has Hopes for Hit Party.

New York Correspondence.}

RS. JOSEPHINE Diebitach Peary, wife of Lieut, Peary, the Arctic •explorer, has a warm friend in

New York who will shortly be married to a well known |tyj lawyer. Mrs. Peary has been corresponding with this mend of hers regularly and upon the

authority of an epistle emanating very recently from the land of snow and ice it can be stated that the little stranger, whose birth is expected to give the United States its first citizen hailing from the frigid zone, shall receive the name of Robert, if of the voting sex, and that»of Josephine if not. Mrs. Peary gives some personal views relative to her husband's exploring plans She defends herself playfully from the charge of having reduced her husband to a henpecked condition, and avers that he is her lord and master in every sense of the word.

Mrs. Peary having thus openly alluded to a delicate subject, there can be no impropriety in saying that the lieutenant's exploring plans were much impeded when he was last in New York by the fact tbat he was known to be absolutely controlled by his wife. The efforts of Prof. Angelo Heilprin were, indeed, required to smooth away a difficulty growing out of this state of things. Itis known to a few here that one of New York's wealthiest men of- mrs. peaky. fered to advance $2.1,000 in aid of the expedition, provided that only men should be in the party. But Mrs. Peary would not hear of being left behind and implored her husband with tears in her eyes to be permitted to go. This is why there were such mysterious delays and consultations before the expedition finally got away. It may be remembered that the lieutenant took occasion to deny a report of disagreement among his m&n. The "disagreements" consisted merely of a general opinion that Mrs. Peary should be left at home. However the lady managed to have her own way.

It may be that a sense of her unique position has prompted the letters recently received from this Arctic queen. Certainly her arguments that a wife's place is by her husband's side and that she should not leave him in the hour

wine, as will be found in every Paris- paril are powerful if not very novel, ian pension, is acid to the sharpness of I The trouble seems to be, however, that

vitriol when it is white, heating to the strength of mustard when it is red,

Mrs. Peary not only wishes to be by her husband's side, but to borrow his voice of command occasionally. Said a member of the last expedition, when extracts from the lady's recent letters were read: "Bosh! Everybody who has had anything to do with the Peary expeditions knows that the wife, and not the husband, was in oommand."

The relations between Archbishop Ryan of Philadelphia and Archbishop Corrigan of New York have become strained. Precisely how this has come about is not definitely known, bat it seems that Archbishop Ireland is in some way concerned. Ryan and

Oorrigan were once warm friends, and for a time after the arrival of Satolli the Quaker City and the Gotham prelates were particularly chummy. But it appears that Corrigan accused his reverend brother of "deserting" him, a

Archbishop byax. charge which evidently filled the cardinal haired one with amazement. To bring matters to a crisis, the two were found to differ radically on the question of public schools, and when the hierarchy came together recently in Chicago it was plainly evident that the pair had agreed to disagree.

The matter would be less important were .it not that the cardinalate for an American is trenitiling in the balance. It has not yet leaked out that Satolli has received ana imparted information bearing upon this question it is even said that the delegate knows ^hom Leo has in his mind for the honor of a red hat. Be this as it may, in can be definitely stated that the following will not be elevated to the car.iinalate during the reign of Pope Leo, namely: Archbishop Corrigan,Archbishop Kenrick and Arihbishop Katzer. If Leo should die within a few years and Parocchi or one of his adherents succeed, Archbishop Corrigan would be

the "top of the heap And Leo is

man

aiK*

enthusiasm. Stkhlino Hkiug. I legislators in many cases amount to very httle, out all who think

aroechi has nineteen

votes in the sacred college already pledged. Ex-Senator Thomas

Piatt ia very

enthusiastic over the Drospects of the republican party in the hmpire state this fall.

There is one tiling about party politics in this country," said he lately, "that is very striking When a man achieves eminence as a political leader his work in other lines of human endeavor is entirely, overlooked. or instance, an eminent teacher or business man is sent to congress. No matter how distinguished he may be in his particular calling, he is known thence forth simply as a politician. Should he weary of kx-sknator pi.att, public life a id go back to his profession In- is stiil'heralded as a politician. This very often proves embarrassing. "Another unnoticed thing is that i* our country we have a very superioi class of men in public life. I know

impressi. prevails that out

*a%hava W liUle knowing Mm tat*. As arale educated,

iwtef

can NMt oat «r« minded aad npvtgki Jhw imarfi

eomflaa the renarfi 4a ••tufetra a tfngU political party. I believe that the republican party ia the hope

thin country, bat if afty eitiien hoKesV ly thinks otherwise it is kit duty to voie accordingly. However, 1 feel Bure thai we will make surprising gains this fit.ll. But that's another matter. What I think our people should be glad of is that in this country we have such a superior class of public men, who very often do not receive all the commendation they merit"

The announcement that Senator Piatt means to write a life of Roscoe Conkling comes to no one as a greater surprise than to Mr. Piatt himself. The republican leader has often been urged to prepare such a volume, but he is not a man of leisure by any means, and declares, moreover, that the subject is too momentous for his pen. Mr. Piatt, however, possesses an immense fund of material for such a work should he ever find time to set about it

O N E I E A E A

Aud IIIn Hoosler lirlcle Was Lett Penniless on the Coast. [Sun Francisco Correspondence. 1

'Frisco has a disappearance case with novel features. The missing man was a bridegroom of only two days, and the deserted bride had crossed the continent from Indiana to wed him. \V. W. Fairbanks, of Point Arena, Mendocino county, CaL, is the man

dropped out the other night. He is a photographer who has traveled all over this country, and he is also an active temperance worker. Last year at Llgonier, In a an met Miss Addie O'C on no and »nts- FAIRBANKS. courted her. The courtship was continued by letter when he returned to California, and it resulted in an engagement Oct. 9 the girl started from her home to meet Fairbanks in 'Frisco and marry him. She arrived late Saturday night, and the wedding took place early Sunday morning, two hours after. Two days were passed in sightseeing, but on the day before the couple were to start for Point Areha by steamer Fairbanks disappeared. He left his bride only SO cents. Detectives have secured no clew, but his friends think he lias wanderea away, as he was subject to nervous attaeks, during which he lost consciousness. The bride was left without home, friends or monev-

Found tho Hidden Treasure. [Buffalo. N. V.. Correspondence.j

Andrew Benner of Ridgway- (Jnt., was arrested in this city the other day charged with stealing $7,000, the property of Mrs. May £teffens of St. Paul,

Minn. Thirty-five years ago Arthur Johnson, a wealthy farmer of Ridgway, died in that town. He lqft two heirs and before he a id would find 835,000 concealed in the attic of the houae. They looked for it but did not find a cent. Afterwards

ahdrew bennkr. Benner bought the

Sle

lace and while at work demolishing old structure he came across two well-filled canvas bags securely hidden away from Bight on a small beam in the framework of the house. To untie the bags was the work of the moment. What he saw nearly overpowered him. Both bags were filled with shining pieces of gold. A count showed that they contained $7,000. Benner immediately stopped work for the day, and taking the first train for Buffalo, went direot* ly to the bank, where he deposited his easily acquired fortune. He told several of his neighbors, and the report finally reached Mrs. Steffens, Johnson's daughter. She engaged an attorney to recover the money

Son of tbe Czmw. iLondon Correspondence.]

It is rumored in court circles in England that the Czarewitch is likely to be betrothed, not to Princess Alix of Darmstadt, as has been announced, but to Princess Sybil of Hesse-Cas-eel, a niece of the queen of Denmark, whose brother, nee Frederick Charles, was married last January to Princess Margaret of PruBsia.the youngest sister of the Emperor Willam in 8ybil, who was born in June, 1887.isnow PRINCESS SYBIL. staying at Fredensborg on a visit to the king and queen of Denmark, with her mother, the landgravine of Hesse, who is a sister to the late Prince Frederick Charles of Prussia. Princess Sybil is nearly connected with the royal families of Prussia and Denmark, and she is a first cousin of the duchess of Connaught and secotkd cousin of the duchess of eck. The czarewitch is to see her at the famous Danish family meeting pla e.

A Mall bbery Mystery. [Philadelphia Corrfsyfindenco.l

The postal authorities have jus, cleared up a bag and

mail

baggage car as it

tery and called

robbery,

which occurred recently at 1'ioylestow.nf A mail bap containing $12.00.) worth ot' drafts and checks

WHS stolen

from tne

was

about to depart

for Philadelphia. The

lo.'ul

ties were unablo to

authori

unravt-1

the mys

for

ing

assistance

stack, under

which

tho

Philadelphia police and the postal authorities. They scoured the country looking for Wiilicm .lohnson, a negro, who had been

seen

hanging around

the station, .lohnson

was

covered hiding

finally dis

a barn and upon be

accused took the

officers to a corn

the bag

but. it had been

was

burned

found

rifled

and

of its contents

spot

in the

field

near by

showed where he had burned the papery. Falcon, the famous prima donna, lives yet in Paris in her 82d year. Sha was on the lyric stage nearly fifty years, and took part in the original ^productions of "La Juive" and "Husruenots."

AN tTALlAN PRISON.

Coavtota Lin Tegetber Llks aoMUn Is Dunoki, The British conaul at Leghorn in his last report describee the great prison at Orbetello, which has ia connection with it two prisons at Fort Ereole, da Monte Argentario,^ both occupying what were in former times fortresses built by the Span* iards to defend the approach to Orbetello.

In the three prisons there are about 800 oonvlcts in the custody of an armed guard, similar to the prison warders in England. The exterior is, "moreover, guarded by military sentries. There is no solitary confinement, cxcept in punishment cells, the prisoners living together in wards very much resembling bar-rack-rooms.

Each convict has a wooden bedstead, which is folded up during the daytime, and he wears a chain whioh 1b riveted to a shackle round the ankle by night the chain «s secured by a padlock to the bedstead or to a ring on the pavement, as the case may be.

Tho convicts are clean shaven and close cropped, the barbers all being oonvicts themselves, but a lew of the worst characters may oe seen wearing beards, not as a privilege, but because it is not considered prudent to place a razor within their reach. At Ft Filippo, situated on a height above Port Eroole, at one time a very important fortress occupying a pbsition of great natural strength, the worst characters are under confinement

The consul was shown there three convicts under punishment who were confined in a vaulted chamber, secured constantly by chains to rings in the pavement and deprived of their beds. The chamber was lighted by a solitary small window, ironbarred, but was well ventilated and spacious. The convicts are clad in a rough woolen material with stripes of a brownish color. Formerly a red jacket was worn, not unlike that of the British infantry, and even now all the old stagers retain the red jacket. The cap is without a peak, and the duration of the penalty is indicated by a stripe on the cap, green indicating a life sentence.

As capital punishment does not exist in Italy many of the convicts are murderers, and green stripes are frequently to be seen. The director complained of the absence of work for the convicts, as the latter are much more easy to manage whva they work than when their time is parsed in idleness, but work is scarce at present, not only for convicts but also for free laborers, and an outcry would be raised were the convicts to be employed in any public works to the exclusion of a corresponding number of laborers.

Strange though it may appear, not frequently some of tho aged convicts, when their term has expired, beg to be allowed to remain in the prison, alleging as a reason that they have no longer any friends ia the world and do not know where to go or what to do for a living. The treatment is humane and the food is better than very many of the poorer olasses in the country can obtain, but a great defect is the absence of work, which renders the words "hard labor" quite a misnomer.

Snow of Different Colore.

The puita whitr color of snow, as we were all taught at school, is due to the fact that all the elementary colors of light are blended together in tht radiance thrown off from the innu* merable crystals of which it is composed. But all snow is not white, and exactly why it is not is a puzzle to tha meteorologists. At title head of Holy Cross Creek, Colorado, and at several places on Mount Shasta, Cal., blood red snow is found. At Carniola, Germany, in 1808, five feet of red anow fell and was followed by about an inch of fine blue hail. Pliny men* tions snow black,, yellow, red and green.

Beating Itroach of Promise Salt. The following story of a suit for breach of promise, tried some years ago, was recently told by a relative of the dcfcudunt: The case began to look very r-.u jl! nr? if it should be won by the fair plaintiff when one morning as the friend ame down street he observed the attorney for the defense waving his hat and wearing a happy expression of countenance. As he came near the attorney exclaimed: "We've beaten them! We've beaten them!" "How so?" queried the relative, wandering what new phase the ease could have assumed. "She diet) last n»ght!" joyfully replied the attorney.

Creoleg.

A creole, strictly speaking, is any person born in this country or the West Indies of European ancestors also any person born in or near the tropics, and this is the sense in which the word is usually employed. The i'se of the word, however, has been bj some restricted tirst. to children of foreign parents born in Louisiana, and second, to children of Spanish oi French parents born in Louisiana, and thea in the North the word has been perverted so that it is believed to impl3' some strain of n?gro blood in a person to whom it is applied. It does not imply anything of the sort

lietter Out Than Jr

The feeling* of a good many men with regard to public office is no doubt much the same as that whieli a certain distinguished Frenchman had, or professed to have, toward the academy that group of forty who are called "the Immortals." lie was asked one day why he did not propose his candidacy for the academy. "Ah." he said, "if I applied and werc% admitted, some might ask 'Why is he in It?' and I should much rather hear it asked, •Why isn't be in it?"'

CAU«« OF MIAUCKWHi.

8«liiUc la (ktM Auat TukM Ik BmloaUr R*MhM tk« liDauMk. SeMlokaeas starts in the ear, says writer in McClure's Blagfttioe. In its cavity are three small tubes, eaoh bent in a circle and filled with fluid. The three sit at right angles to each other, like the three sides at tbe corner of a room or a box. Consequently, in whatever direction tba head is moved, the fluid in some one of the tubes is given a circular notion. Hanging out into the tubal, from their sides, are hairs or oiua, which oonneot with nerve oells and fibers that branch off from the auditory nerve. When the head mows the fluid moves, the hairs move, tte cells are "fired off," a nervous current is sent up to the brain and a feeling of the head's peculiar motion is consequent. As for seasicknese: This nerve curront, on its way to the brain, at one spot runs beside the spot or "oenter" where the nerra governing the stomach has its origin. When the rocking of the head is abnormally violent and prolonged the stliuilus is 60 great that the current leaks over into this adjoining ••center" and so exoltes the nerve running to the stomach as to cause wretchedness and retching. Deaf mutes, whose ear "canals" are affected, aro never seasick. But normally the amount of ear-feeling which wo get by reason of moving our head in a particular direction comes in a curious way to be a measure of the direction of sound. The feelings wo get (nun our skin and muscles in turning the head play ft similar role. We turn our car to catoh a sound. We do this so frequently for every point that in time we learn to judge the direction of the sound by the way we would have to turn the head in order to hear the sound best Thereafter we do not have to turn the head to get direction, for we now remember proper feeling and know it memory of the old feeling is idea of the present direction. never moved our heads wo could have t^ny such notion of the location of sounds as at present— perhaps none.whatever.

the tho The our

If we never

A HORSE IN THE WHITE HOUSB

A 1'Ialii, Evorydity Horse Shares the Uallding With the President. A horse lias his home in the white house, says a Washington correspondent This is a Rteral fact which visitors never discover and which few Washington people know. Tho horse which snares the executive mansion with the president isn't a thoroughbred. Ho has neither pedigree nor record. He is just a plain, everyday horse, with a white star in his forehead, a faithful companion to Edgar

Beckley. And who is Edgar B. Beckley? The man who for twentyfive years bas carried to and from the White house all of the interesting and valuable mail received and sent and who bas never been found remiss in his duty. Rain or shine, in all seasons, he makes hourly trips between the white hoase and the.city postoffice. He is the white house mail carrier. And the horse that has his home in the white house carries Beckley. The part of the mansion sot apart for the horse is one corner of thp conservatory. A thin partition is all that separates the roomy stall from the orchids. There is just room enough for ths stall and a temporary supply of feed* and there the horse eats and sleeps, under the same roof with the president of the United States.

old of .Senator Bluekburn.

Senator Blackburn has the prejudice against being taken for an ln-i dianian whioh seems inherent in all native-born Kentuckians, says the Atlanta Constftution. While comiag to oongrcss, several sessions ago, he was approached in the Pullman coaoll by a New Yorker, who, after bowing politely to him, said: "Is not this Senator Blackburn of Indiana?" The Kentuckian sprangtfrom his scat,and, glaring at his interlocutor, replied angrily: "No, sir, by The reason I look so bad is, I have been sick."

Chamois kln.

Chamois skin If one of the many things seldom met with save by proxy. Nearly all of the chamois skin in this market is made of s.heep skin or troat skin from England and France. A dealer in these substitutes declares that a single importing house could use in one year all the true chamois skin that Switzerland produces in ten year6. The genuine article fetches nearly three times the price of the substitutes.*

country Jiooksene* (to min^r who has previously invested in a dictionary ~-Ob, you must look among the H's *»r scissors, not the Z's. Miner—U'tsl!, who's Oi to know? Wot's t' good of a dictionary without a hindex?

Oo.Ttor—"What you need, dear madams, is just a little change you. are nervous." Mrs. Off base—"Now, when you tell my husband, pray make him understand that the most of the change can be in tens and twenties." "I tell you," said the new police* man, "I'd like to arrest somebody. I haven't had a show yet" "Well,"' replied the veteran, "you just tackle 'most any man you see carrying an umbrella The chances are that you will make a case."

The boy had been sitting for three ftonrs watching the bob on his. fish-line when the man came along. "What are you doing there?" said the man. •'Fishin'," said the boy. "Got any* thing?" said the man. "Yep," said the boj. "What?" said the man. "Patience," said the boy, and the man offered him $4 a week to come dow» to the railroad ticket office and answer questions.