Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 23 April 1892 — Page 6

AS EASTER SERMON-

.•Death Not Half So Bad as He's \s. Painted.

I

.... Why Ape We Frightened Only it Ills Name?—Why Call Him the Kins of Terrors?

Rev. Dr. Talmage preached at1 ".Brooklyn last Sunday. Text, 1 Samuel, xv, 35: "Surely the bitterness •of death is past." The Doetor reluted the allegory of misery "and death, and then said:

In that allegory some one has set forth the truth that I mean to present on this Easter morning, which celebrates the resurrection of Christ and our coming resurrection—that one of the grandest and mightiest mercies of the earth is our divine permission to quit it. Sixty-four persons every minute off this planet. Thirty million people every year board this planet. As a steamer must unload before it takes another cargo, find as the passengers of a rail train must leave it in order to have another company of passengers enter it, so with this world. What would happen to an ocean steamer if a man, taking a stateroom. should stay in it forever? "What would happen to a rail train if I one who purchases a ticket should lalways occupy the seat assigned to |hiro? And what would happen to Ithis world if all who came into it jnever departed from it? The grave lis as much a benediction as the cranio. What sunk that ship in the

Slack Sea a few daj's ago? Too many passengers. What was the matter with that steamer on the Thames which a few years ago went down with 600 lives? Too many passentfers. Now, this world is only a ship, which was launched some six thousand years ago. It is sailing at the rate of many thousand miles an hour. It is freighted with mountains and cities, and has in its staterooms and steerage about sixteen hundred million passengers. So many are coming aboard it is necessary that a good many disembark. Suppose that all the people that have lived since the days of Adam and Eve were still ^live—what a cluttered up place this would be—no elbow room, no place to walk, no privacy, hothing to eat or wear, or if anything were left the human race would, ,like a shipwrecked crew, have to bo •""but on short rations,each of us having perhaps only a biscuit a da}'. And what chance would there be for the rising generations? The men and

Women who started when the world parted would keep the modern people back and down, saying: "We are 6,000 years old. Bow down. History is nothing, for we are older than history." What a mercy for the human race was death. Within a few

?here

ears you can get from this world all is in it. After you have had fifty or sixty or seventy springtimes you have seen enough blossoms. After fifty or sixty or seventy autumns you have seen enough of gorgeous foliage. After fifty or sixty or sevfenty winters you have seen enough snow storms and felt enough chills and wrapped yourself in enough blankets. In the ordinary length of human life you have carried enough burdens, and shed enough tears, and suffered enough injustices, and felt enough pangs, and been clouded by enough doubts, and surrounded by enough mysteries. We talk about the shortness of life, but if wo exercised good sense we would realize 'that life is quite long enough. If we are the children of God, we are at a "banquet, and this world is only the first course of the food, aud we ought to be glad that there are other and better and richer courses of food to rbe handed on. We are here in one room of our Father's house, but there are rooms upstairs. Thejr are better pictured, better upholstered, better furnished. Why do wa want to stay in- the ante-room forever, when there are better apartments waiting for our occupancy? What a mercy that there is a limitation to earthly environments?

Death also makes room for improved physical machinery. Our bodies have wondrous powers, but they are very limited. There are beasts that can outrun us, outlift us, outcarry us. The birds have both the earth and the air for travel, yet we must stick to the one. In this world, which the human race takes for its own, there are creatures of God lhat can far surpass us in some things. Death removes this slower and less adroit machinery and makes room for something better. These eyes that can see half a mile will be removed for those that can see from world to world. These ears that can hear a sound a few feet off will be removed for ears that can hear from zone to zone. These feet will be removed for powers of locomotion swifter than the reindeer's hoof, or the eagle's plume, or the lightning's flash. Then we have only five senses, aud to these we are shut up. Why only five senses? Why not fifty, why not a hundred, why not a thousand?

We can have, and we will have them, !but not until this present physical machinery is put out of the way. Do not think that »this body is the best that God can do for us. God did not half try when Ho contrived your ,bodily mechanism. Mind you, I believe with all anatomists" and all physiologists and all scientists and 'with the Psalmist that "we are wonderfully and fearfully made." But I ibelieve and know that God can and iwill get us better physical equipment. Is it possible for man to make improvements in almost anything and God not be able to make imjprovements in man's physical machinery, Shall a oanal boat give

way to a limited express train? Shall slow letters give place to telegraph}', that places San Francisco and New York within a minute of communication? Shall the telephone take the sound of a Voice sixty miles and instantly bring back another voice, and God who made the man who does these thiugs not be able to improve the man himself with infinite velocities and infinite multiplication? Beneficient death comes in and makes the necessary removal to make way for these supernatural improvements. So also our slow process of getting information must have a substitute. Through prolonged study we learned the alphabet, and then we learned to spell, and then we learned to read. Then the book is put before us. and the eye travels from word to word and from page to page, and we take whole days to read the book, and, if from that book of 400 or 500 pages we have gained one or two profitable ideas, we feel we have done well. There must be some swifter way and more satisfactory way of taking in God's universe of thoughts and facts aud emotions and information. But this can not be done with your brain in its present state. Many a brain gives way under the present facility. This whitish mass in the upper cavity of the skull and at the extremity of the nervous system—this center of perception and sensation can not endure more than it now endures. But God can make better brains, and he sends death to remove this inferior brain that he may put in a superior brain. ''Well," you say, "does that not destroy the idea of the resurrection of the present body?" Oh, no. It will be the old factory with new machinery, new driving wheels, new bands, new levers and new powers. Don't you see? So I suppose the dullest human brain after the resurrectionary process will have more knowledge, more acuteness, more brilliancy, more breadth of swing than any Sir William Hamilton or Herchef or Isaac Newton or Agassiz ever had in the mortal state or all their intellectual powers combined. You see God has only just begun to build you. The palace of your nature has only the foundation laid, and part of the lower story,and only part of one window but the architect has made his draft of what you will be when the Alhambra is completed. John was right when he said: "It doth not yet appear what we shall be." Blessed be death! for it removes all hindrances. And who has not all his life run against hindrances? Wo can not go far up or far down. If we go far up we get dizzy, and if we go far down we get suffocated. If men would go high up they ascend the Matterhorn or Mont Blanc or Himalaya, but what disasters have been reported as they came tumbling down. Or, if they went dowif'too far, hark to the explosion of the fire damps, and see the disfigured bodies of the poor miners at the bottom of the coal shaft.

Then there are the climatological hindrances. We run against unpropitious weather of all sorts. Winter blizzard and summer scorch, and each season seems to hatch a brood of its own disorders. The summer spreads its wings and hatches out fevers and sun strokes, and spring and autumn spread their wings and hatch out malarias, and winter spreads its wings aud hatches out pneumonia and Russian grips, and the climate of this world is a hindrance which ever}' man and woman and child has felt. Death is to the good transference to superior weather weather never fickle, and never too cold and never too hot and never too light and never too dark. Have you any doubt that God can make better weather than is characteristic of this planet? Blessed is death! for it prepares the way tor change of zones. Yea, it clears the path to a semi-omnipresence.

Now, if death clears the way for all this, why paint him as a hobgoblin? Why call him the King of Terrors? Why think of him as a great spook? Why sketch him with skeleton and arrows, and standing on a bank of dark waters? Why are children so frightened at his name that they dare not go to bed alone, and old men have their teeth chatter lest some shortness of breath hand them over to the monster? All the ages have been busy in maligning death, hurling repulsive metaphors at death, slandering death. Oh, for the sweet breath of Easter to come down on the earth 1 Right after the vernal equinox, and when the flowers are beginning to bloom, well may all Nations with song and congratulation and garlands celebrate the resurrection of Christ and our own resurrection when the time has gone by, and the trumpets pour through theflying clouds the harmonies that shall wake the dead. By the empty niche of Joseph's mausoleum, by" the rocks that parted to let the Lord come through, let our ideas of changing worlds be forever revolutionized. If what I have been saying is true, how differently we ought to think of our friends departed. The body they have put off is only as when entering a hall lighted and resounding with music you leave your hat and cloak in the cloak-room. What would a banqueter do if he had to carry these incumbrances of apparel with him into the brilliant reception? What would your departed do with their bodies if they had to be encumbered with them in the King's drawingroom? Gone into the light! Gono into the music! Gone in to the festival! Gone among kings and queens and conquerors!

Oh, how many of them have got together again! Your father and mother went years apart, but. they have got together, and their children that went years ago got together again. Gone where they have more

S E E N

room! Gono where they have more jubilant society! Gone where they have mightier capacity to love you than when they were here! Gone out of hindrances into unbounded liberty! Gone out of January into June! Gone where they talk about you as we always talk about absent friends.

Further,if wiiat I have been sa3ring is true, we should trust the Lord and be thrilled with the fact that our own day of escape cometh. If our lives were coing to end when our heart ceased to pulsate and our lungs to breathe, I would want to take 10,000,000 years of life here for the first installment,. But, my Christian friends, we can not afford always to stay down in the cellar of our Father's house. We cannot always be postponing the best things. We cannot always be tuning our violins for the celestial orchestra. We must get our wings out. We must mount. We cannot afford always to stand out here in the vestibule of the house of many mansions, while the windows are illuminated with the levee angelic and we can hear the laughter of those forever free, and the ground quakes with the bounding feet of those who have entered upon eternal play. Ushers of heaven! Open the gates! Swing them clear back on their pearly hinges! Let the celestial music rain on us its cadences. Let the hauging gardens of the King breathe on us their aromas. Let our redeemed ones just look out and give us one glance of their glorified faces.

All these thoughts are suggested as we stand this Easter morn among the broken rocks of the Savior's tomb. Indeed, I know that tomb has not been rebuilt, for I stood in December of 1889 amid the ruins of that, the most famous sepulcher of all time.

There are thousands of tombs in our Greenwood and Laurel Hill and Mount Auburn with more polished stone and more elaborate masonry and more foliaged surroundings, but as I went down the steps of the sup posed tomb of Christ on my return from Mount Calvary I said to myself, "This is the tomb of all tombs. Around this stand more stupendous incidents than around any grave of all the world since death entered it." I could not breathe easily for overmastering emotion as I walked down the four crumbling steps till we came abreast of the niche in which I think Christ was buried. I measured the sepulcher and found it was fourteen and a half feet long, eight feet high, nine feet wide. It is a family tomb, and seems to have been built to hold five bodies. But I rejoice to say that the tomb was empty, and the door of the rock was gone, and the light streamed in. The day that Christ rose and came forth the sepulcher was demolished forever, and no trowel of earthly masonry can ever rebuild it. And the rupture of those rocks, and the snap of that government seal, and the crash of those walls of limestone,and the step of the lacerated but triumphant foot of the risen Jesus we to'day celebi'ate with acclaim of worshipping thousands, while with all the nations of Christendom and all the shining hosts of heaven, we chant "Now is Christ risen from the dead and become the first fruits of them that slept." How the Trainp Took His Medicine,

Few tramps are lacking in cheek, but the Hartford Times has discovered one who easily carries off the palm. He appeared at the rear door of a Hartford residence, and on being asked what he desired explained that he wished some hot water and a little sugar. He had been having much trouble, of late, he said, with his stomach, and he wanted to cure it. The demand appeared so mild and x-easonable for one of his kind to make that it was at once complied with. Setting down the articles on the table, this wandering gentleman removed from his hip pocket a well filled bottle of gin and proceeded to concoct his grog. The mixing finished, instead jf drinking it at once he stepped to the door and with a gesture of cordial welcome invited three hitherto unseen companions to step in and "have a nip."

Private Allen Illustrates a Point. A Washington special says: A weather-beaten American citizen stood on tfce platform of a railroad coach while the train was speeding along at the rate of fifty miles pethour. "Can't stand on the platform," shouted the conductor. "What in hades are platforms for. anyhow?" asked the man. "Platforms are not made to stand on they are made to get in on," replied the conductor.

This is the story with which Representative Allen of Missouri illustrates the frailty of political platforms.

A Sad Cause.

Judge

Mrs. O'Brien—"Good marnin', Mrs. McCabe. An' phwat makes ycz look so sad?"

Mrs. McCabe—"Shure, Dennis was sint to tli' penitintiary fer six months."

Mrs. O'Brien—"Well! Shure, don't worry. Six months will soon pass.'1 Mrs. McCabe—"Shure, that's phwat worries n:e."

Protestant Sweden.

Sweden is the most Protestant country, for out of a population ol 4,774,40!) only 810 are Roman Catho lies, or sixteen in every 100,000 ami next to it in this respect is Norway, which is under the same, sovereigi and has only aOli Roman Catholic* out of 1.818,853 inhabitants, en twenty-seven in every 100,000. Il: both of these countries the mass the population adhere to the Lutjiel* an Protestant church.

NEW LANDS OPEN.

Boomers Start at a Given Signal and ''Go."

Thousands ol'People in the Hugh—A Young I^tly In the Swim—Interesting Details.

Thursday, In tho northwest corner of South Dakota the triangular piece of land, woods and lakes known as the Sissoton Indian Reservation, which for tho last thirty years has been sacred to tho wild man of the prairies, was a sea of mud, I frowned on by a threatening sky and surrounded on all of its three sides by hundreds—yea, thousands—who had for months anticipated this time. They had gathered together from all parts of tho globe and were anxiously, almost sleoplessly, watching the lands from which a thin line of blue coated soldiers and the law under which they were all content to abide by alone separated them. Across an imaginary lino that tho soldiers were guarding there was a promise of homes, and the liomesoeker was there to accont that fpromise and fulfill its conditions.

The day closed Avith a break in tho clouds and during tho night colder winds arose and chilled tho bones but not the enthusiasm of the multitude. Friday mornlr.g tho sun shone down on groups of ready and eager settlers. They were girding themselves for a race for homes and to-night thousands aro sleeping under the blue sky, but on the soil of their now homes. Only a few hours between tho mud and anticipation of Thursday and the weary rest after the race and tho acquirement of a homo Friday, and yet how much of importance to the homes and future of the State has happened. One of the greatest crowds was at Brown's Valley, Minn., at tho lower end ot Lake Traverse, and within a few miles of tho line. It [had been a scene of activity all the week, and tho settlers and town site boomers were too excited to sloep last night. During tho night intermittent shouts, yells, laughter and snatches of songs came from the various camps around the village, and as dawn approached theso were supplemented by the neighing of horses hitched to tho trees, harking of dogs and the crowing of tho festive chanticler in tho barnyards of the valley farms. Before 10 o'clock tho muddy streets were jammed with vehicles of every character. Horses stamped in tho puddles, and men, women and children crossed and recrossed the sloppy streots in never ending lines. Out of the town the crowd streamed and they were soon strung along the boundary. At 11 o'clock fully 3,000 people had collected along the reservation where it runs southward along the high bluff, which rises abruptly from the iron monument at the head of Lake Traverse. Mauy of tho crowd were spectators from the village and surrounding country. The cavalry patrols galloped back and forth along the line keeping the ^impatient crowd in check.

At 11:45 the crowd became decidedly uneasy. Good nature prevailed in the crowd, although there was something cropping out in every conversation from I wagon to wagon, which plainly indicated a general belief that the devil might take the hind ono.

Some of the settlers' outfits were unique and interesting. A large claim shanty on wheels, drawn by two horses, pulled up the muddy hill to th« line. It had red window blinds and at the side was a glass door, the upper part of which also boasted of red curtains. As tho door would swing open with the lunges of the wagon from side to side glimpses could be caught of the bal)7, which emitted spasmodic cries from time to time. Covered wagons in large numbers crawled along with innumerable frowsy heads peeping from the canvas in open eyed wonder at the wheeling soldiers and tho many people. A sack of feed, a bunch of hay and a spade comprised tho outfit of some of those who wanted to "get there."' A latge woman with arms like a man. pulled a rearing team down to business. Lumber for a shanty, surmounted by a small stove, bed quilt bundles, a couplc of chairs, pans and skillets which rattled with the wagon, and a rusty shotgun made up the kits of some who were gofng to stay therefor thenight. The ubiqutious country editor was right in lino on a white mustang pony ready to ride for a claim near town. The doctor, he clergyman who wanted to take a farm for his health, and the county seat politician were all to be seen iu the crowd waiting for the signal.

Tho sharp clear note of a bugle at noon, the almost simultaneous crack of a carbine, then a volley from the whole farreaching lino of cavalry as tho signal was taken up and carried in a reverberating report to thousands of waiting ears, a few more halting shots, becoming fainter as the distance increased, and the Sisseton reservation was opened. The military withdrew from the border and rejoined their respective companies, Fivo hundred teams plunged forward. Horses snorted and started madly across the prairies with their riders regardless of trail or direction. A cavalryman fell from his horse and his revolver dischargec at random. Tho horseback riders soon took the lead. Then came a powerful team of black horses which seemed good for a ten mile run. The crowd was soon left far behind. In this buggy was Miss Burnett, a young lady graduato of tho University of Minnesota. She and her brother were off for tho new town-site, and as the long cavalcade of plunging horses disappeared over tho hill in the distanco the swift black team was still ahead. Far up the lake a largo party was crossing in boats. Indian teams were waiting on the bank above tho water. They succeeded in entering the reservation live miles ahead of the crowd, scattered along the road from Brown's Valley.

et oven others got a better start, than those on tho lake. The cavalry had scoured the country Thursday and many were driven off tho reservation, but during the night thoy had returned, and others with them. When the long-waited signal camo from the bush all along tho course of the Minnesota river, from ra­

vines hitherto held to bo unpopulated, from every spot bordering on tho reservo that could shelter a man. horse or wagon I there sprang hordes of home-seekers, and thoy led the race for homes.

It Is estimated that about, ono thousand mado tho rush from Brown's Valley. About livo hundred started from the littlo town called Travaro, four miles from the lake. AtWhcaton. where the approach to the promised land was over a private bridge, whoso owner attempted to stem tho flood of boomers in the interest of a land company, GOO people crossed the bridge regardless of orders, and tho polico forcoof tho town was over-whelmed and lost in tho strugglo for tho bridge. On gaining tho tablo lands a mile west of the river the crowd scattered in all directions, soon mooting with other crowds rushing down from the jSorth Ledgerwood was deserted early in tho day, large crowds starting out early on foot. Every kind of rig was drawn into service and joined in the wild proccssion. All the farm teams in the neighborhood were engaged at big nrlces and seeding has bean stopped for the time. llankinson, N. I)., also reports a wild rush at tho firing of the guns. South of there, along tho line of the reserve was a solid line of men waiting, and in several instancos half a dozen made for the same quarter, and in consequence troublo was feared. A party of eight men loft on tho 14th to secure tho townsito, which is supposed to bo the same as Brown's Valley people are after and will soon give them a good race, having ilvo miles less to travel. The other towns on tho northern border make similar reports. At Waubay S. D., close to the line Southwest, between fivo and six hundred people, with picks and spades and all kinds of conveyances, joined in one grand rush for tho choice lands, On the eastern border, some miles to the south of Brown's Valley—at VYilmots—there was a grand rush for a town site. A train on tho Milwaukee road, with 500 people on board, pulled out for the line at 11:30 that morning.

Governor Nelette, of South Dakota, and 2.500 deputy sheriffs aro on the reserve, tho latter heavily armed and instructed to maintain order, peacefully if possible, forcibly if necessary. Thoy checked several rows before serious results ensued. Wells are being dug on all the claims so far as taken tip. All the squatters apparently intend to live on their lands, and in a couple of weeks breakiug plows will be at work everywhere. Codington county, South Dakota, of which Waterton is the county seat, has the sharp point of tho triangle, and every quarter section in that county was occupied by from ono to five squatters before 1 o'clock. There were numorous altercations between rival claimants, but no blood has been shed so far as known, and it is believed tho deputy sheriffs and militia will be able to preserve order. In that locality many of the squatters began the erection of houses at once. A large number had houses already constructed on wagons, but the majority commenced settlement by digging excavations for wells and cellars by plowing the soil.

SETTLED UP WITH ITALY-

Our Government "Voluntarily Pays an Indemnity

Which Is Satisfactory to the Italians, and an Amicnblo State of Affairs Is Assured.

Inquiry in Washington confirms the statement coming from Rome that a complete and amicable settlement has been reached in the international difficu' ties between the United States and Italy, growing out of the Now Orleans tragedy. It appears tlat the Government of the United States has voluntarily taken tho initiative in closing the breach, and without, committing itself to the recognition of any claim for indemnity, but simply as an act of justice and from motives of comity, has placed in thehandsof the Marquis Imperial!, tho Italian charge d'Affairs hero, the sum of 125,000 francs, or $25,000, for distribution among the heirs of tho three Italians who were killed at Now Orleans and were found to be subjocts of the Italian Government.

Itia understood the money was taken from the annual appropriation of $80,000 to enable the President to provide for unforseen emergencies in the diplomatic and consular service, so that it will be unnecessary to call upon Congress for a specific appropriation. By this action on the part of tho United States Government the disagreeable complications in the relations of the two governments, it is believed, have been removed, and within a short time the diplomatic relations between them will be restored to the amicable status existing before the New Orleans tragedy, Minister Porter returning to Rome and a Minister from Italy taking his post at Washington.

"SWAPPED" OFF HIS WIFE.

A Michigan Farmer Trade* His Hotter Halffor

^nrmlngltnpleDieotf,

Ilenry Hudson, a farmer of Sage township near Jacksstn, Michigan, has sold his wife to Philip II. Chubb, a neighbor, for a lot of farming implements and supplies, The document recording the transaction is unique, and is as follows: "Agreement Betwixt P. H. Chubb of tho fust Part ond henry m. hudson of tho sekent Part he dose agree to sell alice Hudson his wifo top. H. Chubb for these things what is named down below, morsh hay and buckwheat and potatoes and one grain cr&ulc ono hiind rstlco ono plow ono set of wille treas and three chevases one glass sithe 1 barrell soit 1

ono grine stone.

vvindow

sash

Philip fi Chubb Henry Hudson.

\Yitness:— "alice Hudson.'' 1 he transaction is oei'tainly as ro.niG,rkublo an affair as it is a. true one.- Tho exchange has taken place and tbo former Mrs. Hudson is now installed as mistress of Philip H. Chubb's household.

A company with $500,0'X) capital Is being organized in Saginaw. Mich., which irilS engage in the manufacture of suB*r.

THE LADIES.

The woman's question is the paramount question of the day, and in its varied interpretations is as interesting now as in the days when Dr. J. Gr. Holland included the theme among his lectures. After his woman lecture in aNew England town, where emancipation had been embraced to. a considerable extent, a young lady who was engaged in the study of medicine said to him. "Doctor, what you say is very good for women who have husbands and children, but what do you say to those of us who have none?" "I say get them," answered the Doctor.

Apropos of this woman question it may be pertinent to ask why, iu tho name of all that is reasonable, is it, any more dangerous to society for a woman to neglect certain wifely duties once included within her sphere »f action, than for a man to shirk all1 home responsibilities except that of prowling about the things the woman leaves undone? Now in the humble homes which the man writer and lecturer extols so eloquently, where the ideal wife looks well to the ways of her household, the husband kindles the fires, sweeps the walks, splits the kindlings, brings up the Doal, does the marketing, and lends & hand on Mondays.

Who kindles the fires in the city household? The maid servant.

Who scrubs the stoop and pavement? The man servant.

Who mends the broken lock or reJ 3uces the refractory hinges? The locksmith.

Who does the marketing and setties the bills, and hears the growling because they were larger than they were last week?

The wife. What particular use is the city husband in the household, anyway? "Just to pay for things and find fault," one exasperated wife says.

And why is it so much more to be deplored that the wife doesn't do her Dwn cooking if she can earn more money at something else than that the man should not make his own trousers and split the kindlings evenings instead of going to his dub?

A writer on medical women claims that there is not an institution of learning, not a woman's club or a woman art class, not a unhersity law school or woman's annex, not a1 diploma granted at Barnard or a sertificate of proficiency given at Harvard but owes its existence, ita toleration and its triumphs to the courage of Emily and Elizabeth Blackwell of England and New York and the other women students of 1850. who demanded recognition and place and honor in tne medical world.

The child queen of Holland, brought ap according to the strict etiquette af the Hollandish court, which forbids her playing with any other little boys and girls, said to a refractory wax baby the other day: "If you are so naughty I shall make you into a princess, and then you won't have my other little children to'play with and you'll always have to throw kisses with your hands whenever you go out driving."

A marked feature of the recent woman suffrage convention was the E^reat number of public men and prominent women in tho political world associated actively in its deliberations. Mrs. Stanford, of California, Mrs. Warren, of Wyoming, Mrs. Greenleaf, of New York, and' others, are on the various committees, or are associated with the different auxiliary State societies.

TO DRIVE DULL CARE AWAY.

She (at 3 a. m., trembling)—"Oh, George, I'm afraid papa is going to some down!"

He (eagerly)—''Darling, hurry and meet him. and have him do something handsome while he's about it." —New York Herald.

Brown—"An agent for shirts said you sent him to me. Have you a grudge against me?"

Jones—"No I have a grudge against the agent." Brown—"What do you mean?"

Jones—"I thought he'd make a Bale."—Kate Field's Washington.

"Won't you smile, please?" said the photographer to to the sitter. "Certainly," was the ready reply. "Do you carry a flask, or shall we have to go down street?"—Epoch.

"You know that I love you," she paid. "Then why not give me time to consider before I name the day?" "That's all right enough," he said, gloomily, "but I've lost three girls that way already."—New York Press.

Miss du Temps—"I'm so glad you've come, Mr. Coster! We girls arc going to give a leap-year ball, and

Mr. Cosier—"And

3*011

want to in­

vito me?" "Well, er—not exactly. I invito you to invite me to take you. You understand? I'll escort you and you buy the ticket."--Boston News.

"All that, remains now is for you to see papa." she said. "Yes. With the chances of his raising me oil', at the lirst, blulT." "How could that bo when his daughter is the limit and she is already yours?" she said, sweetly.

Then he took her hand and played it and won. -Boston Post.