Crawfordsville Review, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 4 March 1854 — Page 1

CRAWFORD9VTLLE REVIEW.

I)F:MOOI:ATIC FAMILY NEWS HAVER. if S at a in

CIIAS. II. HOMO 1 B. F. STOVER.

TERMS,

One year, parable in advnnee, One Dollar and Fifty Cents, and if not paid until after the expi -ration of the year. Two Dollars.

N' paper will le discontinued until nil arrenrittrea arc paid—except at the option of the pubKnher.

All Wtm on biwinesw connccted wiih the otfie«. to roceive attention must be {Kst paid.

Job Work of all kinds done on short notice and reasonable terms.

!f§

OO AHEAD.

Go ahead—and do not tarry. Nought is gained by standing still .- What thouL'h you at times mi-carry,

I^et not fours your bosom fill, tjeareh the eauses of your errors, (lather wisdom from the p«st, To the wind give the terrors.

And you'll pet ahead at last.

do ah«"id in useful do'mus i-®s I I Jle who over is defpairintr.

Hanlrrupt hearts and hopes are nigh. What though you and wealth be strangers— Onward, upward be your aim. Ami those real or fanrivd dangers, s»j Soon you'll put to llight or nhamc.

Go iihead—the world reforming. In civil, moral, freedom's name. All those fort-, and outposts storming,

Which vour enemies may claim. •iili Yield no bulwark, take no quarter, tips, Compromise no eherished light, 1'reedoni's treasure never barter.

Hut stand for them with all your might.

.» nhi-ad. th-»n-don't defer it. Life's short -pan soon Hits away m:i If vou'd tini.sh aught merit.^

Vou must ply vour task to-day. Svt the ball in instant motion. 'l'o ki-ep it gointr strain eaeh nerve,.

Noi doubt that ulrtmate promotion, *0 Willjyield the laurels you deserve.

«. I'\l)Yl\(i LOVE. IN i.I I/..\ nr.-rn A. HI.INN. The\ tell me that 1 mn.-l forget.

But that ei never

vJ'would

r.t

be as vain as to control

The deep and boundless sea.

O' yes. they think 7 eaii forger, Hut never here below. A^ well as the stars forcer to shine,

ss»ss

The moon forget to glow.

The wean's wave forget to dwell, The stream forget to play: The su:i that glorious orb of light,

To me when it is day.

Then tell me not I ean forget, For that can't never Twould be as vain as to control

The deep and boundless-, sea.

[From Affection's (lift,

TOO HANDSOME FOR ANYTHING.

l.\ IMI: AfTllolt OF M'J.I.MAV/

Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was one of those -models of perfection of which ft human father can produce but a single example, Mr.

Ferdinand Fitzroy was therefore an only son. He was such an amazing' favorite with both his parents that they resolved to ruin accordingly he was exceedingly spoil••(1, never annoyed by the sight of a book, and had as much plumcakeas he could cat. llappv would it have been for Mr. Ferdinand "Fi'zroy could he always have eaten plum-cake, and remained a child. 'Never,' says the Greek Tragedian, 'reckon a man -happv till you have seen his end. A most beautiful creature was Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy Such eyes—such hair—such teeth— such a figure—such manners, too,—and such an irresistible way of tying his ncck-

cloth!

When he was about sixteen, a crab-

ibe.l old unclc represented to his parents the propriety of teaching Mr. Ferdinand Fitz%ny to read and write. Though not without -some difficulty, he convinced them,—for he ®\vas exceedingly rich, and riches in an un«cle are wonderful arguments respecting the ^nature of a nephew whose parents have ^nothing to leave him. lie was naturally «(I am not, joking now) a very clever boy and became on surprisingly in his learning. ''The schoolmasters' wife liked handsome 'children—'What a genius will Mr. Fitzroy %e, if you take pains with him said she, to her husband. 'Pooh, my dear, it is no use to take pains with hint' 'And why. love?' 'Because he is a great deal too handsome

Vver to be a scholar 'And that's true enough, my dear!' said athe schoolmaster's wife. 'So, because he was too handsome to he

scholar, Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy remained sthc lag of the fourth form They took our hero from school—'What ^profession shall he follow?' said his mother. 'My first cousin is the Lord Chancellor, %aid his father, 'let him go to the bar.'

The Lord Chancellor dined there that May Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was introduced Whim: his Lordship was a little roughfaced, beetle-browed, hard-featured man, -who thought beauty and idleness the same thing—and a parchment skin the legitimate complexion for a lawyer. 'Send him to the bar!' said he, no, no, that will never do!—Send him into the armv: he is much too handsome to become a lawyer. 'And that's true enough, my lord!' said the mother. So they bought Mr. Ferdinand a cornetcv in the Regimentof Dragoons.

Things are not learned by inspiration.— Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy had never ridden at school, except when he was hoisted: he was, therefore, a very indifferent horseman they sent him to the riding-schooi, and everybody laughed at him^ 'He is a ass! said Comet Horsephiz, who was very ugly 'a horrid puppy!' said Lieutenant St. Quintem, who was still uglier 'if he does not ride better he will dis grace the regiment!' said Captain Rivalhate, who was very good-looking: if he does not ride better we will cut him!' said Col. Hvcrdill. who was a wonderful martinet *1 say Mr. Bumpwell (to the ridingmaster,) make the youngster ride less like a miller's sack.' 'Pooh, sir, he will never ride better. 'And why the 1 will he not?' •Bless you, Colonel, he is a great deal too handsome for a cavalry officer!'

'True!' said Coronet Horscphiz. «Very true!' said Lieut.St. Siuintem. 'We must cut him said the Colonel.

And Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly cut. Our hero was a youth of susceptibility— he quit the -Reigment, and challenged the Colonel. The Colonel was killed. 'What a terrible blackguard is Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy!' said, the Colonel's relations. •Very true!' said the world.

The parents were in despair!—they were not rich but our hero was an onJy son, and they sponged hard on the old uncle! •He is very clever said they both, 'and may do yet.'

So they borrowed some thousands from the nncle, and bought his beautiful nephew a seat in Parliament.

Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was ambitious, and desirous of retrieving his character, lie fagged like a dragon—conned pamph

lets

and reviews—got Ricardo by Jieart— and

made

notes on the English Constitution.

He rose to speak. •What a handsome fellow whispered one member. 'Ah, a coxcomb said another. 'Never do for a speaker!' said a third very audibly 'H.'

And the gentlemen on the opposite benches sneered and heared!—Imprudence is only indigenous in Milesia, and an orator is not made in a day. Discouraged by his reception, Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy grew a little embarrassed. 'Told you so!' said'one of his neighborbors. 'Fairly broken down said another. 'Too fond of hair to have anything in his head,' said a third, who was considered a wit. 'Hear, hear!' cried the gentleman on the opposite benches.

Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy sat down—he had not shone but but in justice, he had not failed. Many a first-rate speaker had began worse and many a country member had been declared a phoenix upon half his merit. 'Not so, thought the heroes of the corn laws. 'Vour Adonises never made orators!' said a crack speaker with a wry nose. 'Nor men of business either,' added the chairman of a committee, with a face like a kangaroo's. 'Poor devil!' said the civilist of the set. 'He's a duced deal to handsome for a speaker! By Jove, he is going to speak again—this will never do we must cough him down!'

And Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly coughed down. I Our hero was now seven or eight and twenty, handsomer than ever, and the adoration of all the young ladies at Almac's. 'We have nothing to leave you,' said the parents, who had long spent their fortune, and now lived on the credit of having once enjoyed it. 'You are the handsomest man in London you must marry an heiress.' 'I will,' said Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy.

Miss Helen Convolvulus was a charming young ladv, with a hair lip and six thousand a year. To Miss Helen Convolyulus then our hero began his addresses.

Heavens! what an uproar her relations made about the matter. Easy to see his intentions,' said one, 'a handsome fortunehunter, who wants to make the best of his person !'—handsome is that handsome does,' says another 'he was turned out of the army and murdered his Colonel never marry a beauty,' said a third 'he can admire none buf- himself 'will have so many mistresses, said a fourth make you perptuaily jealous,' said a fifth, 'spend your fortune,' said a sixth. 'and break your heart said a seventh.

Miss Helen Convolvuius was prudent and wary. She saw a great deal of justice in what was said and was sufficiently contented with liberty and six thousand a year, not to be highly impatient for a husband but our heroine had no aversion to a lover especially so handsome a lover as Ferdinand Fitzroy. Accordingly she neither acccpted nor discarded him but kept hsm on hope, and suffered him to get into debt with his tailor, and his coach maker, on strength of becoming Mr. Fitzroy Convolvulus. Time went on, and excuses and delays were easily found however, our hero was sanguine and so were his parents. A breakfast at Ch:swick, and a putrid fever carried off the latter, within one week of each other, but not till they had blessed Mr. Ferdinand Fitzror, and rejoiced that they had left him so well provided for.

Now then, our hero depended solely upon the cabbed old uncle and Miss Helen Convolvulus: the former, though abarronet and a satirist, was a banker and a man of business he looked very distastefully at the Hyperian curls and white teeth of Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy.' 'If I make you my heir,' said he—'I.cxpect you will continue the bank.' 'Certainly, sir said the nephew. 'Humph granted the uncle, a 'pretty fellow for a baukcr!

Debtors grew pressing to Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy, and Mr. Fitzroy grew pressing to Miss Helen Convolvulus. 'It is a dangerous thing,' said she timidly, 'to marry a man so admired, 'will you always be faithful?' 'By Heaven cried the lover— •Heigho!' sighed Miss Helen Convolvulus, and Lord Rufus Pumulion entering, the conversation was changed.

But the day of the marriage was fixed and Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy bought a new

(to

•If'

curricle. By Apollo, how handsome he looked in it! A month before the weddlhg the uncle died. Miss Helen Convolvulus was quite tender in her condolence—'Cheer up, my Ferdinand,' said she, 'for your sake, I have discarded Lord Rufus Pumilion!' 'Adorable condescention!' cried our hero: 'but Lord Rufus Pumilion is only four feet two, and has hair like a poney.' 'All men are not so handsome as Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was the reply.

Away goes our hero to be present at the opening of his uncle's will. 'I leave,' said the testator (who, I have before obsvered was a bit of a satirist,) 'my shares of the bank, and the whole of my fortune, legacies excepted, 'to'—here Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy wiped his beautiful eyes with a cambric handkerchief, exquisitely Irode—'my natural son, John Spriggs, an industrious, pains-taking youth, who will do credit to the bank. I did once intend to have made my nephew Ferdinand my heir but so curling a head can have no talent for accounts. I want my successor to be a man of business, not beauty and Mr. Fitzroy is a great deal too handsome for a banker, his good looks will, no doubt, win him any heiress in town. Meanwhile, I leave him, to buy a dressing case, a thousand pounds.' 'A thousand devils said Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy, banging out of the room. lie flew to his mistress. She was not at home.— 'Lies,' says the Italian proverb, 'have short legs but truths, if they are unpleasant, have terribly long ones The next day Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy received a most obliging note of dissmissal. 'I wish you every happiness,' said Miss Helen Convolvulus, in conclusion—'but my friends are right you are much too handsome for a husband

And the week following. Miss Helen Convulvulus became Lady Rufus Pumilion 'Alas! sir,' said the bailiff, a day or two after the dessolution of Parliament, he was jogging along with Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy, in a hackney coach bound to the King's Bench—'Alas sir, what a pity it. is to take so handsome a gentleman to prison !'.

Hiciii SJIAXKS AND SO ox—ABOUT 'SIIAXGHAES.'—The Express having "told its tale" in relation to this rare bird, we feel it our privilege to be also heard on the occasion. A farmer residing in that indefinite locality "out West," says, "that the hen fever" rages some up that way, and inquires. "Now what do you think of the variety called shank-highs, whose name don't belie them? I tell my wife they have no body at all, and that -when the head is cut off their legs come right apart! Am I right? Neighbor Buckingham's wife says they're the bcatenest things to lay on airth, they sit and lay both at oncc. I don't believe it— it's contrary to nature. I think they recline a little as it were—Jerusalem! how can they see? My jack-knife can sit as well as they can. I tell you Mr. Editor, they put things out of joint, too, dreadfully. When Buckingham's wife got her shankhighs home, the other day, old Kink happened to hear the old rooster crow the first time, and not knowing anything about the matter, summoned half the hands on the place to come and help get the old blind mule out of the crib. Old Kink says— Dey don't sit on the roost same as odder chickens do, nohow, but dey sits straddle of de stick, cause why, when dey 'tempt to sit as common chickens, de head ain't heaby 'nuff for de legs, and dey falls off backwards. Correct philosophy that.— The}- sit when they eat, I know, for I've seen 'em try to eat standing, but it was no go, for when they peck at a grain of corn on the ground, they don't mor'n half reach it, but the head bobs right between their leofs, makinsf 'em turn a somerset.

O O be they're like singed caj.s, better'n look, and that's bad enough, anyhow, as soon see a pair of tongs or compasses walking about the yard as these shankhighs. And I had like to have forgot to tell you that Peter says—Dey's big liffrs, cause dey crows long "fore day." But Kink says—"Pete don't 'fleet dat deir legs is so long, dey see daylight long time 'fore common chickens."—-Albany (A*. J'.) Register.

Our Country and her Institutions. **.

VOL. 5. CRAWFOEDSVILLE, MONTGOMERY COUNTY, IND., MARCH 4,1854.NO. '3-5.

May they l'(i

"ERIE TROUBLES" ON TIIE N. A. & S. RAILROAD.—We learn that a serious difficulty took place this week, at the White River Bridge, about a mile this side of Gosport, on the N. A. tfc S. Railroad. The laving

down of the iron was completed to the bridge but Charles Naylor Co., who built it, together with his hands, resisted the laying down of the iron on the bridge, until the company should pa}* thc-m for its construction, they being, it is said, largely in arrears, and offering to pay Messrs. Naylor d: Co. in due bills, which they refused

take, as they had incurred large liabilities, and needed the money to discharge them. The Railroad Company obtained an injunction from Judge Hughes, on Wednesday the Sheriff went down to carry the order into effect., and the laying down of the iron is now progressing. We understand that there was, about the same time, an "Irish rebellion" resulting from the "Due Bill" svstem.—Bloomington Xcies-letter.

"Cajsar what am become of that darkey what stole de tallow?" '•He's taken up on an affidarid and carried todc Supreme Court to hare it tried." '„On an affidavid, Ciesar?" 'Yes, I seed de handle mvsetf, I did."*

A NEW CIIURCII SYSTEM. I As this is the day of new doctrines, new creeds, new preachers, new hearers, new constructions of Scripture, new "plans of salvation," ctc. etCM we offer a system .which, though the principles are old, the prariive, to must people, will be entirely original. We sttofirest., that in addition to

.the usual expulsion and excommunication in cases of dereliction, a suitable fine be added as a man's pocket, now-a-davs, is generally more tender than his conscience.

The new institution will be called the "People's Church," and we have only had time to draw up the following, which will do ve-. ry well for a "Litany." I From slanderers, liars, back-biters from tattlers, hypocrites, double-faced people from deceivers, swindlers, drunkards, loafers, and lazy people from fops, snobs, affected, and good-for-nothing people—Good

Lord deliver us! "i: From mean, stingy, close-fisted, purse proud people, with no public spirit, no patriotism, no love of country, no hatred of tyrants, crowns and demagogues from "resolutions" that fizzle out and just rebellions that don't succeed from Nuncios and

Bedini riots— From spiritual rappings, ignorance, suIperstition, darkness, delusions, humbugs, bad speculations, enemies of free labor, free 'schools, free presses, free speech, free thought from priestly influence, foreign dictations, paupers and Popery—

From men who don't take and read the newspapers, do business and don't advertise, keep their children away from school, forget to pay their printer's bill, arc slack in business matters, easily gulled from corrupt officers, incompetent men in public places, loafing, drinking, noisy policemen and gambling jurors—

From railroad accidents, steamboat explosions, sudden rises of rivers, fires, disasters by land and water, fraudulent insurance companies, high rents, dear provisions, bad bills, counterfeit money, and stockbelow par from muddy streets, poor gas lights, dirty water, bad liquor, wood at ten dollars per cord, and coal at 40 cents per bushel— *.

From bad trades, losses by subscribers from masculine women, scolding women, giddy shallowheaded, nonsensical, dressy women "woman's rights," girls educated fashionably, tattling girls, novel-reading.

From pedlars, hawkers, Peter Funk auctioneers, fashionable concerts, stylish parties, fair-weather friends from knock-downs, assaults, colts, slung-shots, bowie-knives, revolvers, maces, broken heads, gouged eyes, "plug musses" and election rows—

From frosts in fruit time, bad oysters, poor living, bed-bugs, fleas, mosquitoes, squalling cats and howling dogs, hogs on sidewalks, watered milk, tough beef, wretched coffee, tight boots and clothes that don't fit—

From the necessity of jails, prisons, chaingangs, poor-houses, vagrant rooms, watchhouses, policemen, soldiers, cannon, armies and ships of war from vice and wretchedness, sorrow and want, poverty and hardships, sickness and distress—•

From patent medicines, yellow fever, cholera, quacks, doctors' bills from toothaches, corns, "chills and fever," swelled heads, influenza and empty pockets—

From disunion, more slave territory, wranglers, fanatics, self-righteous, vainglorious and unhappy and dismal people from corrupt legislators and 'old fogy' senators, yellow-covered literature and duns—

From all the evils we have mentioned, and others left out—Good Lord deliver us! The "Discipline" and other articles will be prepared soon. Meanwhile applications for membership will be received. No fear of the association getting full!

•SERVED HIM RIGHT.—Yesterday morning a very respectable down town merchant preferred a charge of larceny against a pretty good looking woman at Jefferson' market court, before Justice Stuart. She' was accused of stealing a writing desk from complainant and several other articles at I sundry other times. The woman plead guilty to the charge, but alleged that she was in straitened circumstances, and that, 'she and complainant had been on very inItimate terms for a number of years, and that lately he had ceased to support her.

She had been acknowledged to be everything but the wife of the complainant.— He had taken her on pleasure excursions through the city and out of it. The case was evidently one of too frequent occurrence, seduction and abandonment. Justice Stnart dismissed the charge, and reprimanded the complainant in very severe terms. He wondered that a gentleman of his respectability would dare to make such a charge against the prisoner, and accused complainant of acting most dishonestly, if not villainously toward the poor woman.— A*. Tribune.

gsr

There are two hundred and eighty

convicts in the Indiana State Penitentiary at Jeffersonville.

1w„."vA *,

O O

piano torturing, affected, flirting, proud, silly girls—and boys— From "abscondingg"'cashiers, "defaulting" presidents, rascally trustees, dishon est clerks, broken banks, unfaithful worKmen, ignorant physicians, canting parsons, lukewarm professors, politicians, officeseekers, beggars, bores, literary bores— especially, young poets—and cross, ugly old maids—

t"i

FOHTUNE-TELLINC

Some young persons once applied to an old woman who, arnong the vulgar and ignorant, had gained much celebrity in the art to each, of course, she had something to say but to one she did "a tale unfold," so much to the purpose, that it caused her very soon to leare this world of trouble.— After premising with a great deal of nonsense, she informed her that she would never be .married, but that she would be the mother of three children: that she would live in great splendttr for a period, but after all, she was "sorry to say." she would die poor and miseral

Miss B., whilst with her companions showed very little signs of anxiety but the moment she was left to her own reflections, one may guess the effect of such a harangue on a virtuous but weak mind. Mark the consequences: She was at the time on a point of marriage with a very worthy and respectable young gentleman but such was the hold which the prediction of the for-tune-teller had taken on her imagination, that she could never from that time receive him with her usual affectionate at'entiort. Her lover quickly perceiving this change, endeavored to learn the cause of it but finding his inquiries ineffectual, as also any efforts of his to rouse her to an explanation of her behavior, which became more and more distant, and doubling the sincerity of her affection, he, in the course of a little time, discontinued his visits altogether.— The young lad)-, perceiving herself deserted by the only man she could ever love, and dreading that as she had fulfilled the prophecy so far, the rest might also be her future lot, continued to drag on a now weary existence, and at length resolved to put an effectual stop to this progressive dishonor to her name, by committing a crime that could never be repented of. One morning, at the usual hour, her family finding she did not appear, sent to inquire the cause, when she was found lying dead on her bed, having the night before taken two ounces

of laudanum to effect her purpose. On the toilet was found a note, detailing the particulars and reasons for committing so shocking all act, of which the preceding account is the outline.

Tims perished an innocent and lovely girl, in the flower of her youth, through the baneful influence of fortune-telling! but giving at the same time the flattest contradiction to the prophecy against her.

Let democrats look at the facts. Al-

election of a Cnitcd States Senator.-COT.

Temperance is a virtue to which all an amber colored pathway, where the sunwill readily subscribe, and drunkenness a. shone upon bcautilul flowers, or the stars vice which all will as readily condemn.— 'glittered overhead, i-ain would the soul Before arming for a warfare' based

solely

upon an isolated question, not assimulated above that sweet clay, save those your with anv political organization, and which hand may have unwillingly planted. Her of itselNs a great question of moral reform noble, tender heart lies open to your inmost —in which good men of both parlies are'sight.

in good faith diligently laboring—would it'ness, all beauty and purity. But she is not be well to survey calmly the premises,! dead! The dear head that laid upon your canvass the motives and inquire who it is bosom, rests in the still darkness, upon'a that has so suddenly become so philanthro- pillow of clay. The hands that have ruinpic as to forget all old party associations istered so untiringly are folded, white and and principles, and ready to cast to the cold, beneath the gloomy portals. The winds everything of a political character in heart whose every beat measures an eterorder to save the poor inebriate from a|nity of love, lies under your feet. The' drunkard's grave. One deliberate glance flowers she bent over with smiles, bend now over the field will at once show to the dis-j above her with tears, shaking the dew from! cerning that it is simply a cat

under

meal It is one of those schemes for which may be kept green and beautiful, our opponents have made themselves notorious by their ingenuity in availing themselves, and who care no more about the morality or temperance of the community, than they do of the poor destitute souls to be found in eveiy vicinity of our State: and if they can make the generous confidence and sympathy of democrats serve their purpose in the prostration of the democratic party, the}- will have accomplished the purpose for which they are now assiduously laboring.

most every whig paper in the State is out ly joined the Temperance society, was tafor a prohibitory law, and urge this as a: ken sick, and sent to the doctor to prescribe test in the election of members of the Leg-1 for him, who ordered him to take an ounce islature while every democratic paper in of brandy per day. The old chaj) over hauled his arithmetic, and found.in table of apothecaries' weight, "eight drams make one ounce." "Mine says the Dutchman, "dat ish de dempcrance for me. I did'nt get but six drams before, and now I gets eight."

the State is in favor of temperance, but opposed to this being made an issue or a test of any man's qualifications as a legislator. The fact that many good men and democrats are for a prohibitory law, and deeply enlisted in the cause, our opponents suppose thev may be led to vote for men in ., the commg election wl,o will support this ^Always hai't nn eye on tlnngs when question Slid serve their purposes in the )'?u

(Vj* At a Temperance meeting held at Bluffton in this State, it was resolved that if tonished farmer. a prohibitory law be passed next winter the 'Devil a bit do I care whether it's cm Id Legislature be required to enact a law fcr or young, price the bird, ye spalpeen.'the State to purchase all the unadulterated liquor that mav be offered bv those en- -^lall ladies ha\e otes: "'Certaingarred in the traffic, and that it'be kept for h'"

itsVitimate uses. Also, that the State acquaintance "is a woman made only to reimburse all manufacturers of ardent spirits sew on buttons? And if she is, yea have for all actual damages sustained by them

on account of the passage of such a law. poll. ihe perpetrator of this immediately absquatulated. "Doyou believe in this table-taiking. Matilda, that there's such a fuss about? jtST Somebody calls "to-morrow" the "Oh, dear no wliy the other evening a great reformerof the age. It may be but table was asked how old I was, and it rap- like many other (pretended) reformers, it ped out foTtv Ridiculous when I'm not promises more than it performs. It often ihrec-and-twentv till next March theorizes, but seldom practiccs. .5-:-r-r..

•MB

TERMS OF ADVERTISING:

$1.00 2»»

One square three ihcertioh*. Knelt additional lrf5t rtiort tuarterly ndvcrt?srments per square', Yearly advertisers allowed very liberal discount I Pateftt Medicihe jiMVt'fJjrmcnW by thri .year, per column. £S0,(K!f 1'atent Medicine puffs, single inseYfiofi }cr 'square. 93 tfice on the corner of Main a ,1 Washington streets, third story in F. II. Fry's brick building. immediately wesf »ire ll'»*t-se.„/*3

IilnnUs of fill kinds, for sale rtl this OP*

From the Chicago Literary ludget."

PRACTICAL ADVICE.

Soar above common thoughts and actions if you woidd be elevated in character. It is wiser to be always listening (0'profit by what we hear, than to be always speaking to be heard, for he who never hears ancf never thinks bring his knowledge tof an end.

Let. the foul speak, if he is inclined, for as gold is found in useless earth, so ma^1 truth be found among the words of folly.

Follow the tifescriptions of nattfre atfd you will avoid di-ease. Form no opinions without consulting reason when facts are absent.

Never disptf'e tfith others in lti6 street# lor you will attract the passers-by, and when men are thus exposed they never yield.

Never sacrifice principle for gold nc.¥ honesty for office. Never fear a boaster, for his strength lies niily in the noise he makes.

If you worship anything, dcr it with sincerity, else refrain. 1 Never serve others "merely for the saW of serving Yourself, for such nets beget COTItempi, instead of respect.

This is a world of words, but none should play with them when common sense is not at home.

Kindness will win any one from vice virtue, but call men dogs and they will learrf to bhe.

Shun the man who deals in smooth words and has no other occupation, for he may bring yon to the same condition.

No person can be either a gentleman or a lady without serious conversation, nnil sensible information.

Never make sport of marriage, for without natrons et-'uld not became great, exceptin prostitution.

Encourage the practice of kissing thef girls for it looks bad to see them kissing each other!

Wise men di-play their wisdom wisely* Jo/is JONES.

TIIE DEAD WITH.

In comparison with the loss of a wife, all other bereavements arc trifles. The wife' —she who fills so large a space in the domestic heaven, she who is busied, so unwearied in laboring for the precious sons around her—bitter, bitter is the tear that falls on her Cold clay! You stand beside her coffin and think of the past. *lt Seems

linger there. No thorns are remembered

You think of her now as nil gentle-

the their petals that the verdure around her

jM?"A lament for Alexander Hamilton—"

Aaron Burr what hev von dun, Ytt've shot great fJcui-ral Hamilton, You got behind a bum of thistles'. And shot him dead with tue hoss pistul.s." We remember the following, as good as

O O

the above, by a down east bard, as an ovation on a presidential succession:— \mn on brave boys, with good intent ft And lire the guns ol'gover'meiit,

You load and I'll tend vent, Touch her off ai:d let her went."

An old Dutchman, who had recent*

-'v°ur

!nond ol mrs

Friend trying to swallow the tongue of a jewsharp, a quarter of a yard of dish cloth, the There is a falling ofl'of the receipts of the tooth of a shell comb, and a quantity of Madison and Indianapolis Railroad, as com- hard coal as large as apiece of chalk.— pared with last year, of £72,1 51 09, nearly! For miscellany, and a field for discovery, all of which is in freight. The road owes a there's no dish like hash funded debt of 56-11,300, and the Peru road, with which it has been consolidated, a debt of §'600,000.

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