Crawfordsville Daily Journal, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 20 June 1891 — Page 2

8mm

CHAPTER III.

It was put gently ami carefully, but tlio mcanitty of the comunuiieation to tin- inini-trr plainly was that it had some to a inKi'st between him ami the rmintr Mr. l.loyd. ami that whichever shmtlil iu'(|tiit himself in this debate most to t'u satisiaetion and admiration of the atidivnce would strai:rht\\ iv be ••chosen as minister.

It was a terrible situation for the minisu-r—how terrible none hut himself knew and none. not even the wife of his bosom. eou'd ever siitlieiently ^understand, lie Was a had debater, Vand. worse th.in that, he Was the most

IK*rv«siis, lii'sitatiny and involved extempore speaker 111 the world. His sermons and discourses were always written, 'Abut he delivered them well that very Sjjew would have guessed that he had iSjfbianuseript before him. With his writ-:.-..jinf in his hand he was easy, vigorous and sflf-possessed: but when he had to '.speak extempore a panic of fear shook him: he had neither ideas nor words, and he'wa,- completely lost.

It was simply a question of nerves with him, and whenever he knew be- ,- foreliand that he was expected to speak ^extempore the strain upon him was crueller than man can tell. The strain imposed now upon a body weakened by the past, year's privations and anxiety fe could not have been crueller if lie had been under sentence of death: and, indeed, life or death seemed to his overwrought nerves to liars upon the issue.

If he failed, and lie feared he would fail, fail signally, for he diil not loubt

but that the youni.' and boisterous Mr. ddoyd was without nerves, and was a ^'lib and self-coniident talker—then l"pton was lost, and his wife was eoniicmned for Heaven alone knew how Ion to grievous poverty, and his child .to a lingering death. If he succeeded —but he had no reason to hope lie would—then Upton was won, and with it life and health and happiness for "those he loved.

It was Wednesday morninir when he -.got the letter, and all that day he considered, with a frequent feeling of panic at the heaot. and a constant flut-

s-y.

teriniy of the nerves, what he could possibly do to insure success, lie thought he would write down something on the subject of the debate, and commit it •. to memory. He had sat down and .written little, when he bethought --him that he. did not know hen he ,would- be called upon to speak, nur •whether he might not have to express-

V.-v

ly answer some one. He threw down the pen and groaned in despair: there was nothing to be ilone he must trust .to the inspiration and self-p( .,session"of tiie moment.

When lie went to be,! his sleep was a succession ot jrhastlv nightmares, lie dreamt his wife and child were strtig-t-'liui and choking in a dark and slimy sea. t!lilt. Mr. Lloyd stood aloof uneoncerncdlv lookins on, and that lie. the husband and father, lay unable to stir hand or foot or tongue. Then he awoke with a .sharp cry, trembling with dread and bathed in perspiration, mul found, io! it was but a dream! •So the night passed and the day came with its constant wearing fear and anxiety, lie could not eat, he could not drink, he could not rest: and thus the day passed and the hour came when 'he must set out for the fatal meeting.

As lie passed along the street people paused to glance at him he appeared so pale and seared.

When he entered the lecture-loom at I'pton he was met by his friend, the chairman of committee, who looked at him. and said: "llon't you feel well. Mr. Murray? You look very faint and pale. Let

IIK

WAS MI:I MAN

iul

get you a glass of wine." "No, thank you." said the minister. "I am really unite well." "We shall have a good debate, I think," said his friend, then leading the way forward. "I hope so." said the minister

''though I am afraid I can do little I

nv Ills KKII.M). Till-: l.IIAIIt-

I MF. COMMl I'TKI-:.

am the worst extempore .speaker you can imagine." "Is that so'.'" The friend turned quickly and considered him. "I should not have thought so. Ah, well, never mind."

Hut the minister felt that his friend's hope of his success was considerably shaken.

The chief persons of the assembly were gathered about a talile at the upper end of the room. The chairman introduced the matter for debate one man rose and spoke on the atlirmative side, and another rose and spoke on the negative. The minister listened, but lie scarce knew what was said he drank great gulus of water to uiyistun

his parched mouth (which, for all the water, remained obstinately dry) and he felt his hour was come. lie planceil round liiin. but saw only shadows of men. One only he saw—the man opposite him, the very young and boisterous Mr. Lloyd, who clapped his hands and lustily said: "Hear, hear!" when anything was said of which he approved or which lie wished to deride. The minister's eyes buruod upon him till he seemed to assume threatening demoniac proportions as the boastful and blatant Apollyou whom Christian fought in the Valley.

At length young Mr. Lloyd rose, large cind hairy, and then the minister listened with all his ears, lie missed nothing the young man utternl— none of the foolish and ignorant opinions, none of the coarse and awkward phrases—and. as lie listened amazement seized him. and then anger, and he said to himself: "This is the man. this is the conceited and ignorant smntterer, who would supplant me. and rob my wife and child of health and happiness!" lie rose at once in his anger to answer him. to siimsh and pulverize liim. What lie said in his anger he did not know but when lie had finished he sat down and buried lii.s face in his hands and was sure he had made an egregious ass of himself. lie felt very faint and drank more water, and it was all over.

In a da::ed and hurried fashion he said his adieux and went away, to the train, convinced he should never see Upton more. lie had entered the earrage and sunk back with body exhausted, but with brain on fire: the train was starting, when the door was llung open, and Mr. Lloyd burst in and sat down opposite him. "Halloa!" he cried. "I did not think to find you here. What a splendid debate it was, wasn't it'.'" He did not

"iiau.ua! hid not think

vol-

hkkk!"

wait for an answer, but hurried on in his loquacity. "I think I woke them up. They need waking up. and I'll do it when I'm their minister."

It clearly did not occur to him that his vis-a-vis might be minister instead: and Mr. Murray, in his exaggerated dread and humility, thought that the question who was to be minister must really have been settled before the young man left. Mr. Murray said nothing. but 'that did not embarrass Mr Lloyd. "I shall soon set tip." he continued, "the hash of some of those frightened old fogies who want things to go on in the old, humdrum way. It's a fine place and a magnificent chapel, and can be made a popular cause and I'll make it. too, when I'm among tnem. (.rood, rousing, popular stuff—that's the thing i&akc a success: don't von think so,

Murray?" "No doubt." said Murray, scarce knowing or caring what he said in his bitterness and despair "only make noise enough."

Young Mr. Lloyd mfrely laughed boisterously, and Mr. Murray only kept •saying to himself: "This is the man who lias robbed me of my chance, and my wife and child' of health and happiness! Hut for this ignorant, conceited, and incompetent braggart I should be minister!"

An ineontrollable dislike—and in liis nervous, overstrained condition, hatred even—rose in him against the young man.

As Lloyd went on with his dingdong, maddening talk, Mr. Murray, who could have cried aloud in his pain and despair of thu loss he believed he had endured, observed absently that the inner handle of the door showed that the catch was open. The train slowed down, for some reason, in the middle of a tunnel, and Lloyd rose in his lusty, boisterous way, banged down the window, and looked out. "These trains," quoth he, "are confoundedly slow." r. urrav kept his eye on the brass handle of the door. It was a dangerous position for Mr. Llovd if he leaned too heavily, or if the train went on with jerk, he was likely to be thrown out, .Should he warn liiiy? Should he say: "Take care, you may fall in your rashness. et why ilid not the foolish, unobservant young man see for himself the condition of the door?

Still, the handle of the door fascinated the minister's eye, and lie kept silence. At that moment the train started off again with a jerk and a screech: the door swung open, and Lloyd fell, and as the minister put out his hands and head to catch him. with a horrified: "Oh!" he saw the fiery eye of a train rushing down upon him from the opposite direction.. It came on with thunderous roar

and passed,ti:e'iitit\*.-r .-an! buck in the carriage alone'anil tainted!

MAi'Tin: iv. 7

He came to himself onty outside the London terminus at which lie had to arrive. when the train drew up. and a man came along for the collection of tickets. In a half-dazed condition (which the ticket-collector probably considered intoxication), he surrendered his ticket without a word, and then the train went on. ami presently he was on the platform, stumbling out of the station on his way home, but no more in touch with the people and things he passed among than a man in a dreain.

What had he done? What had lie done? To what a depth of misery and infamy had he cast himself? It was impossible to sound the black bottom of it. "1 have slain a man to my wounding a young man to my hurt."

The old words rose in his mind unbidden—rose and sank, rose and sail': again. He felt that the young mau must be lying crushed across those rails. And it was his doing: he had not

warned the young man of his danger lie had consented to his death, and, therefore, he had killed him! Oh. the horror! Oh. the pity of it!

When he reiflied his lonely bulging it was late, and he was dull and tired. lie was conscious of having walked a long way round, and to and fro. but where he did not know. The strain was now olf his nerves, anil dull, dead misery was upon him. lie meehaniealIv undressed, and went to bed and sank to sleep at once but his sleep was uirefreshing: it was troubled all the

The morning postman brought a letter from his wife. She was i:i good spirits, and the boy was improving rapidly. Then tears—bitter, bitter tears! —came to his relief, and he sobbed in agony. What had possessed him? What fiend of anger and hate had entered into him to make him commit that deed? He was aghast at the atrocious possibilities of his own nature, lie felt as if he could not look in the face of his wife again, or again veiltuVe to take her in his arms. Would she not shrink from him with horror when she knew? And would not his boy—his little Jim!—when he grew up I (if he ever grew up) be ashamed of the father who had so dishonored his name? "Oh. my U.:d!" he cried, in his misery and grief. "Let me bear the utmost punishment of my sin. but spare them!

I'unish not the innocent with the guilty! Let my dear wife and child live in peace and honor before Thee!" lie could not eat a morsel of breakfast—he had scarcely tasted food or. drink for two whole days—and he could not rest in the lodgings, lie wan-' dered out with his load misery upon him. He was a man who seldom read the newspapers, and he did not think of buying one now. nor did it even occur to him to scan the contents-bills set outside the news-venders'shops. He merely wandered on and round, revolving: the horrible businc* that, had brought: him so low. and then lie wandered back in the afternoon faint with exhaustion.

When he entered the sitting-room he saw a letter set for him on the mantelpiece. It was from his friend at Upton, and it declared with delight that, after the stirring debate on Thursday evening, he (Murray) had been "unanimously elected" minister. That was the unlooked-for stroke of retribution! To think that he had committed his sinnay, his crime*—in headlong wantonness! To think that at the very moment when he had committed it he was being elected to the place which he had believed the young man had been chosen to fill! Hitter, bitter was his punishment beginning to be: for. of course, he could not. with the stain of crime on his soul, if not on his hands, accept the place—not even to save his wife and child from want.

The writer further said that it was desired that he (Murray) should occupy next Sunday the pulpit which was henceforward to be his. What was to be done? Clearly but one thing—at all costs to occupy the pulpit on Sunday morning, to lay bare his soul to the people who had "unanimously" invited iliin. and to tell them he could never more be minister either there or elsewhere.

He sat thus with the letter in his hand, when the door opened and his wife came in with the boy asleep in her arms: he had omitted to write to her since Wednesday. He rose to his feet, and stood back against the fireplace. "Oh. my poor dear!" she cried, when she saw him. "How terribly ill yon look. Why didn't you tell me? I felt there was something wrong with you

u..\i: thi: utmost

I.r/r MB

ru.NiMi.MK.vr

Koii

laid the sleeping child on the couch and

returned to embrace her husband.

back. "Oh .1 tunes. hor hands. You look worn to death!" "Everything's (jone wrontr. Marv!" he answered. "My whole life's gone wroiifr!" "What do you mean?" she asked in breathless terror. "What have you in your hand'.1"

lie held out to her the letter, and sat down anil covered his tace. "Oh, but this is good news. James!" she exclaimed. "You arc elected minister at Upton!" "I can't go. Mary! I can no longer be minister there or anywhere!" ".lames, my darling!" She knelt boi. side him. ami put her arms about him. "Something has happened to you! I ell me what it is!" lint he held his peace. "Iieniember. my dear, that we are all the world to each other remember that when we were married we said we should never have any secret, from each other! Tell me your trouble, my dear!" lie could not resist her appeal: he I told licr the whole story. "Mv poor, dear love!" she cried. "How terribly tried you have been!

And I did not know it!" "And you don't shrink from me, Man said he. "Shrink from you, my dear husband? she demanded, "llow can you ask mo? Oh. my darling!"

She kissed his hands and his face, and oovered him with her love and wept over him.

Tlicv sat iu silence for awhile, and then lie told her what he proposed to do. I She agreed with him that that was thu

nig with screeching and roaring trains and falling bodies: and when in the morning he was fully awake, his misery settled upon him like a dense fog of dentil.

lit through with alarms and terrors.

propel thing. I "We mu.-t do the first thing that is right whatever may happen to ourI selves. Write and say that you do not: tec! you can take more than the morning service. I'll go with you, and ymi shall do as you say—and the rest is with tlod."'

Thus it was arranged. And oil Sunday morning they set oil' together for Upton, leaving the boy in the caVe of the landlady. They had no word to say

to in Uu tl

..lin_

There was a flutter and a rustle of dismay throughout the conjrre^ation. The minister's wife was up the pulpit stairs in an instant, and she was followed by the chairman and the younp Mr. Lloyd, lletween them they carried the minister down into the vestry, where a few others presently assembled. "Will you run for a doctor, Mr. Lloyd?" said the chairman.

Hearing the name "Lloyd," ar.d seeing a man in minister's attire, Mrs. Murray guessed the truth at once. "I think." said she, "there is no-need for a doctor: my husband has only fainted. lie has leeu terribly worried all the year, and the last week or two, especially, has told on him." "I thought the other night," said the chairman, ''that he looked ill "lie has not been well siuce," said she and she continued, turning to Mr. Lloyd, "I believe he was the more upset that he thought an accident lind happened to you in the train, Mr. Lloyd." "Oh," said the young man. "it was nothing. It really served me right for leaning agains*. a door that was unlatched. 1 picked myself up all right."

The chairman and the others stared they clearly had heard nothing of that. "He is coming round." said the wife. "If some one will kindly get me a cab, I'll take him home."

That is the story of the unconfessed crime of the minister of I.'pton chapel, who is to-day known as a gentle, sweet/ and somewhat shy man, good to all, and especially tender and patient with all wrong-doers. [THE KM).]

Horfft Its Weight tn Until. a price can lie placed on pain, '•Mother's Friend is worth its weight in gold 11 an alleviator. Mv wife suffered more in ton minutes witli either of lier two children that, she did nil together

mv m.nv'

when I had no word." She oarofullv I »n.v

with lier last, having previously used

four bottlcK of "Mother's Friend." It

Mary!" .said he, keeping her.

"Don't,

dear'." she said, clasping What, has ^one wrong'.'

0110

The

llo!

'(l

clos'j oneh nthvr's han«l. Thi'V avoided.. giVftiiitfs. and introduction*, and folicitatioii* .save from one or two hy keeping close in the vestry till the hour struck, and the attendant came to usher the minister to the pulpit. He went out and up the pulpit skiirs with a linn step, hut his face was very pale, lips wo iv *vhod. and hK hi*art wa.-» thumping hard, till ho felt as it' it would l»urt. The first part of the service was »rone through, and the minister rose to deliver his sermon, lie jjave out his text: "'And Tain said unto, the Lord: 'Mv punishment is greater than I can hear!'" and glanced around upon the congregation, who sat up wondering what was to come of that, l'.o repeated it, and happening to look down, saw seated immediately below the pulpit, looking as well and self-

"MV I'L'XlMiMK.VT Is OUKATEIt THAN I CAN I1EAI'..''

satisfied as usual, the vounff man whom he had imagined crushed in the tunnel! The revulsion of feeling was too great: the minister put up his hand to his head, with a ery something between a sob and sijjli, tottered and fell back.

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