Crawfordsville Daily Journal, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 11 April 1891 — Page 6
CAUSE AND EFFEOT.
A little dinner party
way ID
low,
progress down
be
Whtlo Hbove-stalrs, tn the nursery, waa lonely little Fred. "There Is nothing left to do."' ho sighed. 'Thai clock is very ^lovr.
And wbon nurse
do**
tintsh aupycr, she will
put me straight to bed!"
**Now, if they'd let me play with that!*—ha looked up on the wall, And gently pushed a chair ahm^ before him. us he spoke— reully would not mischief it, or worrv it, at all,
And I feel quite pretty ccrtnin I could mend it if it broke
About the minutes after this the door bell rang, and luw The servunt to the master whispered: "Sir, he's at the d«.Kr— The messenger you ran* for." Keplied the uiasier. "No
He's made some stupid blunder." And ho thought of it no more.
Five minutes passed: a souud of wheels the servant came to say: "The carriage is a-waulng. sir. belike it's eouie too early, But the man i* very positive you rang for a cuppay." "I didn't," said the master, and his look and tone were suny.
In the same mysterious manner & policeman came and went. And a doubtful look was crowing now upon the master's- face An uleu had occurred to him of what the mystery meant. And h'? was just preparing to follow up the trace—
AVhon. Jo! "A burst Of thunder-sound"—the eagtue drew up proudly, Close followed by the hose cart and dire confusion crew. But the ma.ster from his door-step, by shouting I wildly, loudlv,
Was in time to stop the delude, and't was all that he could do.
Btralghtway to the alarm he went, and captured Master Freddy, *SVho sobbed: "I ouly gave it -uch a little, little Jerk! didu't mean to start it—Just to try if it was I ready tl wanted—all I wanted was to see if it would
work —Murgaret Vandegrift, in St. Nicholas.
AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE.
The Memorable Bide I Took in 4 Paris Omnibus.
As I think of it now, though it occurred six months apo, 1 grow for a moment quite red with indignation and righteous anger at the thought that Joe ahould have caused me to be the laughing stock and amusement of all that crowd of grinniug Frenchmen and Frenchwomen.
This feeling soon disappears, however. and the ludicrousnessof the whola situation eonies over ine. I can see tlio puzzled conductor and the highlyamused countenances of the whole 'busful, and I iust lio back in my chair and laugh until tho tears roll down mv face.
It is 110 more than a just compensation that I should le able to laugh at it now: fur 1 am sure that, at the time, while others evidently thought the occurrence very funny. I could not sea anything but that I had been frightfully outraged, and that others were making sport of me—all through .Toe's forgetJ fulness, too that was the hardest part of it all. 1 am not going to exaggerate or color my account of what took place, a single bit—it is not in the least necessary aud though in some it may seem that have done su, 1 want to state that such is not at all the case the following is simply a literal rendering of a funny experience that Joe and 1 had in a Paris 'bus when we were over to see the "exposition.
We were on our wedding-trip. I 011I3' mention this at showing. I think, that J. was all the more culpable to so completely forget all about me: if we ha4 been married longer, I do not think that 1 should have taken the matter nearly so much to heart. Still. I suppose 1 ought to have remembered that Joe was given to (its deep abstraction he is an artist, you know. ltwasal'orte Maillot omnibus, that starts near the Rate of the same name and proceeds straight down the Champs Elysees, that .1. and 1 boarded one lovely morning in June. We were in a great hurry to get down into the city, and as there only happened to be one front vacant downstairs, J. suggested that I take it. and he would climb on top. In i'aris, the outside as well aa the inside of the conveyances is utilized for carrying passengers and very novel agd pleayint riding it is when ike •weather is warm, as you can see so much of the city frtim your elevated position. l'retty soon the conductor came around to collect the fares, and when he asked for mine I told him in my very best French that my husband, who was upstairs, would pay it. When ho had finished his collections downstairs lie mounted "en. fuiul." as the French would say, but in a few moments returned to me saying he could find 110 man on top who would acknowledge to having a wife downstairs whose fare it was his duty to pay he declared lie had asked everyone in turn.
Suddenly it came over me that of course poor J. (lid not understand what the conductor had said to him, as thorough knowledge of the French tonyue was not one of his accomplishments. 1 opened my purse and found a tivc-frane piece, which 1 offered for my fare, saying I thought it possible that my husband did not comprehend his demand. Whether it was that the sight of my live-franc piece appalled the conductor at the thought of having to make change to that amount, or whether it was the spirit of gallantry that they say is inherent in .-very Frenchman's breast. I never knew but lie suddenly turned on his heel, at the same time saying, loud enough for everybody "in the "bus to hear him: ".Madam.1, you..do not look like an impostor. If you say you have a husband upstairs. I believe you, and wiil find him and compel ..him''.to pay your fare: it i.. hisduty. Theldeu of a husband deserting the little tnadame in thi-i way!- It is• ^hame! Pat away your money, madame. 1 will not have it it is the money of nionsierir want." And before 1 could utter 11 word of explanation ho had darted up the stairs at the back of the''bus.
Pretty-'i.oon everybody in the 'bus
wiis conscious of a tussle going on on these same stairs, and we could see tho conductor forcibly pulling along a most irate little Frenchman, who was gesticulating in the wildest manner, at the •aine time giving vent to his feelings iu the most expressive French. 11» declared he would have both the conductor and the woman who was trying to palm herself olT as his wife arrested by tho very first gendurm? he saw. lie would find out whether there was no protection for a respectable father of family riding to his place of business in a public conveyance it was an outrage of the most audacious kind, and somebody would have to suffer for it.
The conductor appeared just as calm as the old gentleman was excited, and never said a word in return, only tightened his* grasp,011 the coat-collar he was holding, and never stopped his pulling and tugging until he had the old gentleman standing right in front of me then he inquired in a loud voice: "Madame, is this man your husband?" "Oh, dear! No!" I replied, in a shaking voice, almost ready to cry. "You have made a dreadful mistake! l'leaso do take my fare out of this!" again presenting my live-franc piece. "My husband certainly does not understand you: that is all."
My evident distress must have mollified the old gentleman somewhat, for he slipped away quietly, only stopping once 011 the stairs to shake his list at the conductor and call liini "an old fool," which I certainly thought lie richly merited for why in the world would he not take my fare as 1 was begging him to, and thus have no more fuss about it? l!y this time everybody in the 'bus was intensely interested in the proceedings. Old gentlemen laid aside their morning papers as if they had no further interest in them, and gave their glasses an extra rub so that they might have abetter look at me while fat old ladies nudged each other anil chuckled. Even the babies stopped crying suddenly, to see the fun, for everybody seemed to feel that more was coming. As for myself, my face k»:pt growing redder and redder, until I knew from the burning sensation that it must be a flaming scarlet while instead of wanting to cry, I felt possessed of a strong desire to shake somebody—whether the conductor or J., or both, it did not much matter.
As soon as the old gentleman had escaped from him. the conductor, nothing daunted, and taking no notice whatever of my outstretched hand with its appealing live-franc piece, started for the stairs, repeating: "I go to search for the husband of madame."
All necks were craned forward as this time he appeared in view, leading, in the same captive manner, a tall, lean, lank, individual, apparently half scared out of his wits. All this poor fellow could say was: "Monsieur le Conducieur, I assure you 1 have no wife. I assure you. sir while his knees knocked together and his legs trembled so violently that he could hardly 6tand upright.
Ilis feeble protest did not sare him, however lie also was marched up in front of me and the same question asked in the same loud tones and when I made the same answer, disclaiming him as my legal protector, everybody in the 'bus tittered audibly at the relieved expression that came over the young man's face as he skipped away, and the puzzled look that settled on the conductor's visage.
If I had been at home and such a mistake had occurred 1 certainly would have left the ear at once but 1 did not dare to do so here, as I could not find my way about, anil the idea of goiug boldly up those stairs and discovering .1. myself never once entered my head, though that of course would have been the most sensible thing to have done.
The conductor after his second failure seemed dazed for a moment, and stood scratching his head but in a little while he brightened up, saying: "I cannot stop now, as my honor is at stake as well as madame's, and liud monsieur I must while several of the passengers cried out: "Bravo!"
Four more innocents in turn were brought before me one, like the first old gentleman, wildly indignant, swearing dire vengeance on everybody: another was timid and scared while two of them treated the whole thing as a huge joke, and did their best to afford the passengers all the fun possible, which of course only added to my misery.
Though we had gone some distance no one seemed to think of getting out consequently no one could get in, as a Pails 'bus never carries more passengers than there are seats. While the people downstairs were enjoying themselves so much at my expense it seems that those on top were likewise having a pretty good time. J. told me all about it several days afterwards, when I had grown less touchy on the subject aud could listen to him without flying into a passion.
It seems that as soon as he had found seat upstairs he drew out of his pocket a book in which he was very much interested. something about "the unequal distribution of wealth among the inhabitants of the globe"—a most engrossing subject, I should say, and when the conductor came around he handed him only three sous, having completely lorgotten all about poor me. He positively declares that tile conductor never asked him if he had a wife, downstairs, as of course that would have! recalled me to his wandering senses also that he knew quite enough French to understand such a demand had it been made otherwise, how would he have been able to have enjoyed the fun that followed. '1 hat he had enjoyed it there Was no doubling.
So absorbed was he in his book that he. did not become aware that anything unusual was happening, until after the lirst two men had been led below and as by thai time everybody was laughing andtalkingso loud, he knew that something must be tip, so asked his neighbor what was t)ie 'jk\ This Frenchman, by means of '.abundant pantomime and few words of. always understands French when so expressed, quite readily), inade him understand that there was a bold.. bad woman downstairs, who »r is trying to make some man
upstairs pay he.r fare: she could net get anyone down there to do it, so Irjil declared that some one upstairs must said she had a husband upstairs,— which of course was only a trick of hers, only the conductor, who was evidently a young innocent, seemed to believe her, aud was trying to find a husband for her. This was the Frenchman's version of the affair. Tho conductor made several long speeches 011 top, only J. did not exactly eateli their meaning: but. from the way everybody laughed,.he judged the conductor must have said something very funny, so thought it would look smarter if he laughed, too. At last, a Frenchman with a littV more politeness than the others, rose up. and said it was a shame that just for six sous a woman's fare should not be paid he would go down and see her. 1 she was young and at all pretty, he would pay it himself but if she was fat and ugly, alas! he could not and as some of the men cheered this gallaut little speech he followed the conductor downstairs.
The passengers downstairs, iu the meantime, had been growing restless at the conductor's long absence 011 top they were all wishing, I suppose, that they had the power to be in two places at once. How their faces did brighten when his legs lirst appeured 111 view! And as they saw tho stylishly attired young man who was following in his wake, they looked at me as much as to say: "Now something interesting is surely going to happen."
Instead of the conductor leading this man before me, the latter stood in the open doorway, aud raising his glass to his eye inquired of the conductor: "Which is the lady?" "The little one in the blue dress, with the red cheeks, monsieur," replied the conductor aud before I could protest against this new form of insult, the young Fr nehman had taken off his hat, aud with a profound bow said: "It would afford me the greatest happiness in the world to be allowed the honor of paying mademoiselle's fare." and turning to the conductor handed him six sous. "With another profound bow, and abroad grin playing over his face, he was off upstairs, while cries of "Ilravu.' braro/ Tres bien! trex bien/" went after him.
I tried to get the conductor to listen to me its I told him that he must return the money at once, as the young man •was a stranger and had no business to pay my fare, and that I could see no reason why he should refuse to take my five-franc piece. Put he only shook his head, and said he was J'utigiw and was very happy to have at last found a man who was jaunty enough to pay for me he did not care any longer whether it was the husband cf madame or not the fare was paid, and that ended it— "c'at JinC' and he shrugged his shoulders.
We had just two more streets to go before reaching our destination, the Louvre, aud as I gathered up my parasol and hand satchel 1 could see that the passengers were again on the rjui rire. As soon as I caught the very first glimpse of J.'s long legs on the top step I rushed out to the back platform and when he had reached the bottom I grasped him firmly by the arm, demanding to know what he meant by denying I was his wife and refusing to pay my ear fare.
The most startled expression came over his face as he stammered out: "Were you the woman they were hunting for a man to pay her fare? O good Lordy!" And he commenced to laugh quite foolishly.
The conductor looked as if he was going to faint as he feebly wailed: "1 demanded of every monsieur but this oue, and he was reading. Jfin Jjieu! I was belr." "Joseph Livingstone (I always say Joseph when 1 am very angry), you pay my fare at once!—it will probably be for the last time—and take me 8way frtim this dreadful 'bus as quickly as you can, or 1 shall die!" Ity this lime I could hear peals of laughter both from the inside and 011 top. as many of the passengers from above had crowded to the stairs to see what was going on below.
J., as if in a dream, slowly pulled the six sous out of his pocket and gave them to the conductor, ho was looking very crestfallen. As we jumped off the 'bus, followed by the gaze of every passenger, I know they sympathized with me, for they must have thought 1 had for a husband "tin Iwmme u/i pen toque."
It is needless to say that we did not go to the Louvre to see the pictures that morning, but took a cab and drove straight home instead, where I comforted myself with a good fit of crying, between my sobs insisting that I was going right home to mother on the next steamer.
J.'s miserably dejected air, aud his real penitence, had softened my heart by night, so I did not go only ever after, when out sight-seeing, 1 never allowed him to become separated {j-om mo for a minute, as one funny experience, I thought, was quite enouyli in Paris.—Anne 0. (loater. in Dcmorest's Monthly.
Don't Worry.
Ilon't worry, dear friends, because you £.re not exactly what the world calls great folks. Von may not be likened unto great rivers that bear the great vessels, carrying the blessings of the nations, yet you may be what the rivers are not—little springs by the du.-tv waysides of life that sing" merrily all I day and all night, and are ready to give I their cool draughts to every posing thirsty soul! Detroit Free Press.
—Ilis Sister—"Carrie Goldust has just asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. .lack—"l)y Jove! I.)o you know. I think brides are some of the greatest fools there arc!" "Why?" "liecause they never marry the best man, don't you know'.'"—Smith, Gray ifcCo.'s Month! v.
—A l'ortunate Loss.'—1"After all," remarked Mrs. 11 ojack, "it's lucky I lost that, twenty dollar goldpiece." "Ilmv so?" asked her husband, surprised. "I read in a newspaper that you lose two cents' worth of metal off a twenty dollar piece every day you carry it."—Inter Ocean.
HER TYRANT MASTER.
With cheeks *levr trom kisses of the frost, Dlue luuk'hliii eyes, und shining hair,
tossed.
wlnt
She come* in breathless, bright, a little lata, Fair aw a dream, but pitiless as Kate.
She stmpgh'H with her rubbers on the mat, Laya by ht jacket and hung. up her hat, Pulls off her gloves, »nd sweetly thoughtful stands Beside the register, to warm her hands.
1 look up, at her soft "pood morning then I mumble "mornlnp," and lay down my pou. And then her task beclns, and, like a urk, 1 keep her—how remorselessly—at work I
She's my typewriter yet, and I'm
Iut
"boss.**
1 hear her tell the bookkeeper I'm "cross," Aud "hard to please." Great Scott: that isn't IU If she could only know how hard I'm hit I
Oh, yes, I scold you, dear: I na$r and yell Only because you please mo far too well Also, because I'd like to knock in two The tall youiur fellow who walks home with you. —Madeline S. Uridines, in Puck.
TIIE TEST.
Locnting tlio Traitor in a Russian Conspiracy,
One bitterly cold winter's evening five men were seated together in a small room ill a house situated in tho Jewish quarter of a busy and largely populated Itussiau city. The appearance of the room was as wretched as the external aspect of the house itself. The solitarj* window was totally concealed by a heavy faded curtain, depending from the roof, and as the wind moaned dismally through the broken panes of glass its somber folds swayed to and fro. The inmates of this mournful den were seated around the table, smoking their pipes and talking, as if furtively, in whispers. As the feeble rays of the candle fell fitfully upou the company they revealed the youthful faces of four students. Tho chief spokesman, however, was a much older man, apparently about fifty, with a short, pointed beard, shaggy brows and keen, penetrating eyes of the darkest hue. The others deferentially addressed the speaker as "professor," aud such, indeed, he wns at that time at a well-known School of medicine in Kussia.
On the present occasion, however, I10 was speaking, not of science, but of the terrible doctrine of assassination.
Prof. was a nihilist, a reputed Colossus of craft iu the dissemination of revolutionary doctrines, and on the particular evening in question he was engaged in advocating with liery eloquence the assassination of a certain colonel who had lately been promoted to the rank of chief commissioner of the secret police. As the night wore on tlicir whispered conversation was suddenly interrupted by low knocking at the outer door. In a moment the conspirators sprang noiselessly to their feet and listened with bated breath. The sound was repeated—u peculiar whistle was heard from without, and the listeners exchanged significant glances and quietly resumed their seats. Presently cautious footsteps were heard in an outer room, the door was opened, aud a young man hastily entered. Ilis face was pale, his manner agitated, and as he returned his companions' salutations I10 regarded them with a fixed and angry stare. "Vou have kept us waiting, comrade," exclaimed the professor, pufiing calmly at his pipe. "I'gh! we are almost frozen, for the air of this wretched apartment is quite Siberian. Hut now to business. We will warm ourselves with talk, and lire our minds with the prospect of revenge."
There was a murmur of approval. Jt was noticed, however, that the young man who had just appeared upon the scene took his seat in silence, and, resting his elbows upon the tabic, slowly scrutinized the faces of his comrades. "My dear professor." he said at length, "we cannot possibly proceed at present with this business." "Why not'.'" was unanimously asked. "Because," replied the latest comer, aa he quietly snuffed the candle—"because one of us is a traitor." "A traitor!" exclaimed the men, starting to their feet. "Yes, comrades, we are betrayed and as no one knows of this plot of ours except ourselves, it is plain, I think, that one of us has turned informant." "You are mad to say so," hoarsely exclaimed the professor "but in heaven's name, what has happened? Come, tell us quickly. This is no jesting matter." "Listen, then. On my way hither, comrades, I entered a cafe de Paris to sip a cup of tea and smoke a cigarette. I happened to sit beside two officers of the secret police, and as one of them was somewhat tipsy, I could distinctly hear his conversation. I found it rather interesting. lie told his companion that he was under orders to surround this old, deserted house at midnight —it was near eleven now and to arrest all persons found within. He mentioned, moreover, all our names, and added, with a maudlin laugh, that a certain person, to whom the administration is eternally indebted, would bo found in our midst playing the part of conspirator. Now, comrades, I have done. What shall we do?"
The men looked at each other in dismay. A dead silence tilled the room, for the mere .sivpici'm of treachery among the men who had solemnly dedicated their lives to the sacred cause of liberty seemed to hold them dumb. Such villainy in their very midst— among men banded together in sacred brotherhood—was a greater crime than the merciless acts of a despot and his minions. "If this is true," said the professor, in a voice of suppressed lage, "(hen 1 will no longer beiieve ill human fidelity, or the future of our cause. Put—-death! if the story i, true. Which of us is the informer?" added the speaker, staring fiercely at the pale faces of his companions. "liahl it. is useless to ask that, my dnr professor," exclaimed Ivnu—such wis the namo of the youth who had brought the strange intelligence—as he advanced to tlio door of tho room,
locked it, and placed tile key iu his pocket. "Every one will assert liia Innocence—of course. Hut, comrades, suppose we endeavor to find him out? Let us search each oUier. The traitor, whoever I10 may iSs, must doubtless have in liis possession some proof of his jjuilt. At least, the1 experiment is Worth trying. Whu say you? "Agreed! agreed!" exclaimed the nihilists, us with ono accord they sprang convulsively to their feet. Oue of the stv'.euts—a tall, lank youth, with 11 somewhat foppish appearance— objected, however, to the pioposal. "Put why?" hotly demanded the professor, who seemed all eagerness to begin the investigation. "liecause." was the hesitating rojoiuder. "honor ought to be enough, ltesides there is something degrading the idea of searching one another, as if, indeed, we were a lot of pickpockets. So let us break up the meeting. This excitement is absurd, and renders the discussion of our plot impossible. As for the story told by the drunken soldier in the cafe, I don't believe a word of it,"
These words produced an angry murmur among the excited conspirators. The protest seemed so ridiculous and as the clamor increased Ivan turned to the speaker and warmly exclaimed: "Very well: we shall abstain from searching you, since you wish it but remember this, that if we fail to find a clew to the informant among those who willingly submit to the examination we shall then know upon whom to ilx our suspicions. Xow, comrades, search me first 1 am ready."
In a moment the speaker's pockets were emptied of their contents, and even the lining of his clothes was carefully searched, but beyond a few old love-letters, some political pamphlets and an English newspaper with a paragraph obliterated with lampblack nothing of an incriminating character was found. A second student readily submitted to the test—if test it was—with similar results. Then a third stepped forward and placed himself in the hands of his companions, llut at that moment a curious incident occurred. An invisible hand suddenly extinguished the light of the candle, and in a second the room was plunged in utter darkness.
What did itmean? Who had quenched the, light? l'or st moment the nihilists remained motionless, as if rooted to the spot. As they listened in alarm tliey heard a strange, creaking sound in the direction of the curtained window.
Suddenly the voice of Ivan exclaimed in the darkness: "Comrades, this is a trick! Listen! Home one is endeavoring to escape by the window! It is the traitor at last. Mis attempt to escape betrays his guilt Stand back! I know liow to deal with him!"
In an instant the reports of three revolver shots rang through the room and were followed by an agonising yell as some one fell heavily upon the floor.
A profound silence then ensued. It was an awful situation. At length Ivan spoke to his terrified companions. "Strike a light now," he said, in a trembling voice, "and let us look upon the face of a traitor. Will noone move? Are you all afraid to gaze upon tho dead body of a miscreant who lins betrayed us to our enemies? Come, professor, where are the matches? You had them last 15ut hush! What sound is that? Listen! Ily heavens, comrades, the police are upon us already. The house is surrounded! Quick! here is a trap-door known only to myself. It leads to the main sewer and is our only hope of escape. Follow me."
Groping hand in hand in the dark, the affrighted men followed the speaker's directions, and after some momentary confusion disappeared into a noisome abyss. None too soon. In another instant the door of the room was battered to pieces, and a conipany of gendarmes entered. Lights were now flashed ia every direction, but it was obvious to all that the conspirators had escaped. The officer in charge swore long and deep, and ordered the men to search the house from top to bottom. Then, advancing toward tho .window, be stumbled over a human body. "What's this?" he exclaimed, examinining the dead man's features with a lantern. "Ha! so they have caught you at last, my friend, have they? Well, you played the spy long and well, but it always come to this iu the end."
And tearing down tho window curtain the officer threw it over the rigid body of—the professor.—Pall Mall Budget.'-..
Wbeu Baby nfcr, wo g»*e her Caatoria. When slie was a Child, she cried for Castorla. When she became Miss, she clung to Castorhk When she hod Children, she gave them Caatorla,
Rev. II. II. Fnirall, D. D., editor of tlio Iowa Methodist, says editorially: "Wo have tested the merits of Ely's Cream Halm and believe that, bv a thorough course of treatment it will cure almost every ease of catarrh. Ministers as a class are alllicted with head and throat trouble and catarrh seems more prevalent than ever. We cannot recommend Ely's Cream Malm too highly.*'
I used Ely's Cream Halm for dry catarrh. It proved a cure.--13. F. M. Weeks, Denver.
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Vice
1rfs ^",',.,.,1
G. I'. Durham, H. T. .mi. Treasurer. ... I Vy N.c. McCay. ijeiieriil I Baths, Tub il!U' nasium, BOWLING AH1'}"' U| Games and IKADIIIR ROOM- ..J inpr.s
Sunday at 4:30,
always welcome. 1
Secretary MeCny's ofliee
10
.in., und .WiV,Vsmnr.li-:-liigfrom 7to!)i:iU. eveeiitUii.
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