Crawfordsville Daily Journal, Crawfordsville, Montgomery County, 7 June 1890 — Page 6

NAST AND TIIE GLADIATORS.

Tho Arona Where tho Senators Hump Themselves for Battle.

Studying NfUlonul Styles of I»ri'«s and Our Pnrllumontttry MHtui«r« HroiulMinded IVoplc »ml Vint .Ju Ip*

Washington's liou-ie.

(coi»Yi»n irr, iSW.]

With profound rojrret I bogrin to observo many strikingly unAmorican traits in Mr. Niist*» ebariiotor. I don't know whether to lay thorn to his extensive travels in Now .Jersey and other foreign lands or to the influence of those multitudinous younj* men who flock to our shores to see the steamer from England come in »md to pick up a few castoff patterns of cockney slany together with some styles of )ianties from which London recovered several seasons ajro. But, whatever the cause n».iy be, the fact is apparent that Th. Nast is not as truly a typical American as I could wish him to be. Why. when the waiter in a fashionable restaurant the other day upset the olive oil bottle over the artist's clothing, Mr. Nast spoke to him

*^S&2ai

THE Asot.M' ami MOH!:I:N- CI.ADIATOT:IN Till: A11K.NA.

about it—spoko in ljxn^na^o which left tlio amazed yoinijr man to infer that Mr. Nast did not like that sort of thing. I tried to pour oil on the troubled Nast by uttering tho first, pleasantry that came to my mind but it was of no i-.vail he kept mentioning tlw matter to tho servant and when the servant talked back, as it is the right of every free and independent American citizen to do. my companion positively left the table without giving any change to the astounded young man. Tins is not American, and 1 told Sir. Nast so told him that if he did not wish to be regarded as cither a foreigner or a crank ho must not resent such little things as this. "How much better and how much more American it would have been," 1 said to him, "had you thanked the waiter for catching tho bottle before all tho oil had run out upon you! How much plensanter that would have made the waiter feel! As it is you have hurt the tender sensibilities of a young man who is even now saying in his soul that you are a harsh and exceptional man. And had you ended the transaction, as Americans customarily do, by tolling the young man to keep .ill the' change, you would have reaped the priceless reward of consciousness that the waiter regarded you as a genial, gon.'-natured gillie and a generous, wholesouled chump."

I was in the lecturing mood and now was a gcod time !o speak of another little matter to Mr. Nast. "Yesterday afternoon you did a most unAmerican thing, when that man from

V-

i' .h

THF. SM.\T.T. WINN: HOUSE

or?

roit

I.A I-:

TNI:

STATI'.S.MKX.

out West leaned over your shoulder and watched you drawing pictures of members of the House of Representatives. This is a democracy, sir, and he was a sovereign citizen of it. lie had a constitutional right to look over your shoulder and to stick out his tongue and follow the meanderingsof your pencil with it. lie was not interfering with your life, liberty or pursuit of happiness, and you should not have been so crochetyabout.it. When ho said: 'IIuli! Drawin' picLurs, hain't ye?'you should not have answered, saying: 'No I'm

U'UI.I.O

AL)Oiix!:I).

building a ferry-boat, and by and by l'lf going to erect an asylum for the teoble-minded.' That was ironical. Mr. Nast, and calculated to grieve the poor man. IStit it was nothing to tho eccentric manner ir, which you objected to that ot^irr man sittie.g behind you and putting his foot on tho back of your

An.Ii ASl'SS TO (VXCjUKltOU—"VOlt JUST STOI

seat What if he did wipe a little mud oil on your collar? You intended to put tho collar into the wash that evening, any way. When you are in America you must do as Americans do you must I graciously let people maul you around

FASHION" I'LATK NO. 1.

anu inquire into your business and slap your hat down over your eyes, for this is a free country, you know."

I had some hope that these remarks would do Mr. Nast good and tend to stop the enlargement of his undemocratic notions. Jtut—

Here we were at the entranco to the Senate gallery. "Shall we look in upon the arena whore tho battles of tho people aro fought?'- I asked by way of changing tho subject. "Arena!'' said Mr. Nast, tho soul of tho artist lighting liis eye with its divine fire. "Is this an arona? Do gladiators meet here to do battle? Ah! what a picture that word 'arona' calls up—a picture of proudly erect gladia-

FASHION rr.ATt: so. 2.

tors, each having an equal chance in tho combat and all wearing their chests up where chests should bo worn. Hut can this he called an arena, where tho gladiators meet on so r.net -.l terms and where tho chest.s of so many have dropped down into their pockets? "And yet," mused th« artist, "there is something gladiatorial about them, after all, standing as they do shielded behind thecast-iron laws thatV^oy make and, if not drawing blood from each other, at least blot-ding tho community at large pretty freely.'' "Shall we remain h"re?" I asked. "No: let us take a walk."

Quite willing to take any thing that Mr. Nast might suggest, 1 acquiesced and wii set out dr.wn Pennsylvania avenue., continuing o.r stroll to tho White House, where I explained to him that they are talking of building a new Presidential home because this one is too liiliputian for the brobdingnaglan statesmen who aro called to occupy it. "Is it really too small?" asked Mr. Nast. "Too small? I should say so. Why last summer tlioy drove the red ante out of it because they took up so much room." "I thought they drove them out hecause tho I'rosident was afraid ho might bo charged with nepotism if ho permitted them to stay there," said Mr. Nast. "No: it was because there was not room for the ants and the other occupants at the same time. Why, I am told that during President Cleveland's I administration Andy Welch, of Illinois, once lighted one of his Yorkville cigars in tho East Room and the odor of it filled the entire mansion. A great and country like this ought to have

KH«WUilW)

an Executive mansion that, could not be so easily filled. This one will do very well for the Presidential olllcos, but when you come to adding sleeping and cooking.and laundry accommodations,it is easy to see what a plight the Chief Executive and his household are in." "lieing the capital of the Nation, Washington, I suppose, is, liko London, and Paris, and lierlin, the place to come to see the best development of National style dress as well as of general culture," said Mr. Nast. "Oh, yes, of course, llore it is that tho wealth and culture of the- country congregate, and here, of course, one can see those who make the fashions for the Nation.'"

Mr. Nast grabbed me by tho arm and began singing to a familiar air tho words: "Where did you get that "Sh!" I cautioned him. "That is •Senator lliscoek, and it is highly improper to ask him where ho got it. it may be all right to ask yourself in silence why he got it. and why, li:.vinir got it, he persists in wearing it pulled down to the bridge of hi. nose, but where ho got it is a question that does not conform to the dignity of a United States Senator. Now, if it were a cake of soap or a brand of smoking tobacvo. it might bo proper for a Senator to writo out an advertisement and sign his name to it, telling not only whoro ho got it, but how much he thinks of it It would be undignified, however, for a Senator to advertise a hat house." "Hut not tho hat alone," said »r. Nast "Tho tout ensemble! Is it not a rare combination of taste and elegance?" "Yes tho ongsomb is very tout—indeed it is, as we say in the French, tout utterly tout tout." "I notice ono thing in Washington that can not be seen in anv other capital in the world." said Mr. Nast. "And that is?" "Utter freedom from all rules and conventionalities in street attire." "Yes." I said, straightening to my fullest height ''v.'O are very proud of our unrestrained freedom, our untrammeled independence. There aro no shackles 011 us, and, I might add, veryfew ilies." "See that man going yonder—that ono with the silk hat and tho peajacket. There is a combination which I venture to say is produced in no other capital of the civili :c»l world." "Yes, v.-e iro ahead of 'cm all in the matter of broad and comprehensive tastes," I acknowledged. "We Americans combine all tho gentility of tho silk hat with tho democracy of tho peajacket, and we are proud of it." "And there comes another man. Look at him, with a Prince Albert coat, a full dress shirt, an evening vest and a broadbrim slouch hat," said Mr. Nast. "Only another ovidenco of our great breadth of mind. We, as a people, sir, comprehend, as it were, the entire day. Wo combine tho morning coat with tho evening vest, and cap these off with tho midnight hat and v.-e jab our hands up to our elbows into our trousers pockets, and don't care a continental who looks at us in wonderment I tell you. sir, we are abroad-minded people, wo Americans." "Do you mean to tell mo that these two creatures with these outrageous costumes which make them look liko animated comic valontines, aro broadminded men?" asked Mr. Nast, disgust oozing from his every poro. "Broad-minded!" I exclaimed. "Ilroad!

Well, you'd think tlioy wore broadminded—awfully broad—if you should hear them got to telling stories in a crowd of men."

I could see that Mr. Nast was tending toward another of his crotchety spells that tho lecture I had delivered to him about his un-American way of finding fault with things had dono but little good. I was about to say something more in this line wheij we roaclied ono of tho principal hotels of the city. "How would a mint julep strike you?" he asked. "Kerslap!" I admitted. "Well," said he, looking toward tho entrance to tho hotel, in tho doorw.iy of which three men had jammed themselves and stood talking politics, "if you will map out a plan of campaign by which wo can enter this place I will pay tho bill." "They will move away soon wo aro in no hurry," I said. "Hut we aro in a hurry. I am nearly dead of thirst, and there they stand and choke up tho entrance to a public houso as if thoy owned tho whole place." "Now, don't bo Impatient," I pleaded "wo have time enough wo have all tho timo there is between now and nowhen." "I am not impatient," answered Mr. Nast. "It isn't a questipn of patience. It is a question of principle of plain, common, overy-day right. What warrant have these men for cramming themselves into that doorway and shutting off tho ingress and egress of tho place?" "Hut you aro so cranky about it!" "Oh! yes I suppose that if some man should drivo a milk wagon over you, your Americans notions, as you call I them, would impel you to got up and

apologize t.o him for shaking the cream '—Hinto tho milk."

H'hore vo.i go again. V.'jmt's tho use i_t being all-flred kiekatbry? and hoside.\ haven't'these men ns good a right to si-iud i:i tho doorway and talk politics as we have to—" "No, sir they have no right at all. They—"

I saw that, this discission wr.s likely to ripen into dispute, so .steu ied up to the gentlemen and politely u..xod thom if they would let us pass. Hut either because I was ro noli to about it or because they were so intent on settling ttienext Presidential election, khey did not hear me. When I looked arlund for Mr. Nast ho v, as not there. 1 sakv a pair of heels going

urn

rough an open window

and next moment I heard a voice inside, Gaying: "Yoi. ean .'•'ta'id out, thero and supplicate for your rights in your American fashion as ion,

T.'

you please, but I go

in for taking my rigiiLs and enjoying them." I left it to t'.ie landlord if that wasn't a tliov. u..-'American way of viotv-

v«,

v,w ...

OF.OUfiK

IX A I.W

Ing the matter, and he agreed with mo that it was. We had drunk our juleps and Mr Nast was somewhat cooled nfT when wo stepped out, upon the street again. "Yt'liiti sort of thing is that coming down street?" he asked.

"That is what wo call a inasse American." "Why masse?" "Hecause there is so much English on it, you know." "What part of England should you think ho was from?" "That part lying between tho Missouri river and tho Arkansas line, I should say." •lust then the crook of the ponderous cane which horizontally accompanied this magnificent spectacular panorama rauglit in the trousers-leg of a fellowcitizen. "Ah." exclaimed Mr. Nast, "I never could understand before why the cane should be carried in that manner, but now I sec it is dono with the good and generous intention of helping others along. I shouldn't bo surprised if in time this method of lugging walking sticks would solve tho race problem."

I don't believe Mr. Nast spoke In direct seriousnesi. llo says so many cruelly sarcastic things that 1 am always a wee bit dubious of his meanings.

AS is usual witlfMr. Nast and myself when we take our walks, if we walk long enoufi-h in this city of magnificent distances, wo came back to our starting point and found ourselves at the Capitol. "What is that new-looking building over there?" he asked as wo stood looking from tho east portico of tho great edifice. "That is George Washington house." "Did George ever live in that thing?" "Lives in it nowT" "Goon you'ro joking.

I took Mr. Nast across the open space and boosted him up to tho window of tho house. Sure enough, lie saw George seated inside, cool as you please—cool, first because ho was marble, and next, because he had on no clothes to speak of. When I let my friend down to tho earth he asked why they had put tho statue in that little house. "Thoy didn't." I tohl him: "they put tho house round the statue." "Ah, I see," said lie "Anthony Coinstock has been here and thoy ha,vc boxed George up to keep from offending Anthony's delicatc sense of propriety. It was lucky that Comstock wasn't around at the time of tho creation, or Adam and Eve wouldn't have boon allowed to run aliout as they did. Somebody would have been arrested—may bo not Adam and live, but somebody." "You are mistaken, Mr. Nast. Washington was not thus housed in deference to Mr. Comstock's sentiments. It was because—" "Ob, yes I see. It must be that the robellion isn't over yet and there is no telling whoro it will break out next. 1 sec, 1 see. George wa-i a Virginian and they can't, tell what he may—" "No, no: that isn't it, either. Tills house was built last fall and has beeu standing over the statue all winter. Some say it was built to keep Goorgo warm—and it must lie conceded that he is clothed a lectio lightly for winter —but it is my own opinion that tho purpose was to keep him from hearing some of tho debates in the big building in front of him: for George Washington. you know, was a great general who delighted to wage war with tho enemies of this his native land."

Wn.us H.

C. Li,

have

tacts.

HAWKixu.

When Buoy was sick, wo gave tier CastortoWhen she WOA a Child, Khe cried for CostoriK When sho became Miss, she clung to Caatoria. When she had Children, she save them CaftorUk

—Suoli low prices ou goods have nover been named in Gruwfordsvillo as Bischof is giving in this Bale. Go at ouco aud secure some of theso mammoth baig iiiit in all the departments.

Acute and chronn rheumatism can be effectually and iiorninnently cured be the use of Htbbaiid's ltheumutle Syrup and Plasters. For 'sale nnd highly recorn mended by Moffett, Morgan & Co,

WHY IS1T THAT

OUR LEADING

JEWELE

IS ALWAYS BUSY

perienced workmen repair them. 2n~. work always gives satisfaction. I

REPAIRINq

Because, 1st—-None but first-class and

large selection of

and Diamonds on which

gains, not for 30 days, but for

days As my prices are always at

always sell and do not have to

sales to close out old and shop

Call and be convinced that

207 E. MAIN STREET.

3rd DOOR EAST OF ELSTON'S BAN

for Infants and Children.

"Cutarla Is no well adapted to children that I CutorU cores Colic, Conntlpatlon, recommcnd It oa superior to anr DrvecriDtioa I Sour Stomach, Diarrhi -i. Eructation, known to me." H. A. Aicm. M.D., I

sAfctoatsuii!

fine \V

make

special

the next

the hot

make so

worn

he above

ei,e8

111 So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N.Y. Without Injurious medication.

Columbus Buggy Com pa

decp'

THE BEST GOODS MADE.

The Canton and Other Good Makes, and Examine Them.

Tinsley &

ORGANIZED JS7S

THE AMERICAN

Collecting and Report!

Association.

HOME OFFICE: INDIANAPOLIS. Furnish trustworthy Reports and Collect Claims

throughout the U. S. and Canada. For particulars acklrcs^ B. A. BULLOCK, Gen. Man B^gr'We want another traveling agent.

110,1 vrom

TUB CENTAUR COMPANY,

TT Murray Street,

INCOIll'

of cvf