Bloomington Progress, Volume 25, Number 21, Bloomington, Monroe County, 15 July 1891 — Page 4
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' TOMBftdetqMtbshe soltaa or era-taper, i checkmated, eversbod Imgbs. The Shab of Persia, -while tn-rerlBg fifty miles an honr on ft English railrostd, caviled ttajyiwigar to him ad ordered that the train tie stopped lor two hoars, as ha (the 8hh) wished to takaaaap,' The au&acar eaartaooalr trplufneti that tt waa aot poaaiUa to obey th gnatiwawl, as to do ao wold block the Mad and endanger life. The despot waa obliged to yield, but his loota aaat; "if Ton iran iu Pern, job iroald coffer far&is!" - A laitel-keepaT In OoBwtaaihionle waa a. despot in hk small way; that is, his wtu,orwacn,traaUieJawolUiettotise, There waa sc other deoant hotel in the etty; and dnring the Crimean war th Kr glmh ottoors qnartered themmrres 'there. But if am of them, while at dinner-table, expressed his Haaatiafaotton with the fare, he found on his return to his room, his portEaantaQ plaoed oataida of the door atl hi bill preItwaa ineirafl for a canny Scotohnan, Sir Oolia Campbell, to show himaatt mora than a match for the despotic landlord. There was only oaa room 'vacant when ha arrived a donblabedded one wniah, ha waa obliged to f Ho expected to par more lor tha room, bat was indignant when he learned from the landlord that ha must pay fox the board and lodging of two peraoaa. Obtaining from him the aeknowledment thathe(Sir Colin) had a right to dairy food for two persona, he laid Afc plana. TtwnaUBMtnintr. with tho consent of the ether gneata, ho brott into breakfaat tout kamaL or porter, who cleared ererythtog off the table that waa left. At tanoneoa ine porter again appeared; bat at dinner, the landlord, fairly beaten, gam in, and Sir Colin paid orfy vat a own Mara ana loagmg. tta met awranee of tea atTsosrfs Mmrld trait MMr, Syrwp of ls. a taw rests mnaea by me ot B wao hem nod it. of tee roaa-iatora and ssisfamawa. sbe Oahtoraia lis Brw There Is no doubt bet toe form of a roof has much to do with the draught of .'echhnney. The flat roof offers ao resistance to the passage of airr bet as tha pitch is increased the earreni te more and eiore distirbed, nnttl with a bljfhpltched and maoT-gabted roof It is broken into innumerable eddies, some of which are eon to curi down and force the smofcw and gases In the floe into the li ss below. Chimney em snch roofs afcoald be boilt higher tkaa exdinarUy.' ear ss-reim datrr sanies SVetwsea the city ot Bt. I-otd A-nd Haw York and Boston. apaeeaoeqesl Xrfa those ma by the oarwi ttfasMF KVrarjr day in the Tear; East to Vest the su'abrsrht ray, en the Baa that lead the way. sTAOHIFfGBtT VE8TIBTJU KXPBKS9 RaOra. running tree rMSninc ettairamra Bed palsas aleeeera to at. Lovls, fsmias fM, sad Council Blaffa, The direet rente to aE points In Hissoori. Kansas, Habraaka. Iowa, Texas, Isdiaa Territory, Arkansas, man. wyomnur. wasaiaajtoa. aUaiUonla. Wot rates, rootea, aoctr to may tieketasjentos1 T.CUWUt; . aad Tlekec Aasas, Bs.lMhVXei swelter la almost Intolerable heat, and yet they hare nerer penetrated ewer one seTen-tboasandth part of the lilrtanee from the sorfaee to the center of the earth. Is the lower levels of some of the Comstoek mines the men tonght scalding water, and eoold labor only ' three or four boars at, a' time until the 8ntro tannel pierced the mines .and drew eCeomeof the terrtMe beak ' LetBee esiniOTed in fashionable stores, whose duties' lump them standimr andaf. ahoaMasad two Se stamps to Pmkaam VxUoineCo.. I7nn. Haas., tor "Jldo to ana Jsoquette.A man named Jones was recently fitted oat with two glass ores, a complete set of fabe npper and lower teeth, and an artificial nose, ia a Sew York Hospital. blood is the primary casse ot isesawBien ion Human The Hood in passim faan Is annjaet. iThritB ever Bortioa of body it pere caiijlnfsliMiglh aad 1 Boawnlnir is Baoat danrarona. Prlcklr Ash Btttenwm reader the last impoaalbbs, and wgi leaelaie Me system so that health wmhaaaareiaaali. ' KassiaB Feasaats win be prohibited by law- ahortry from setUngor mortgaging WtuSiiana ftaahrltr.1 BMW. InVtlalwlMid,' Sam? itabr.KUna.ku ArohOUi Tan only heavy hardens are those we try to carry or serves. tt you f, if job get! Betther ra. Bklry tenna for the doctor, bnt safe aad saro for the pitifwt. EverrtJirng to gain, nothBg to kae. There'll just one mecBr siaa of its cdaae thsa Mid c tbeae ooadUioue jnat one that oottfcf beDr. PWoe's QolAm Medieal BHh eorery. Jta fmtUar Tray to sell it Mt W a pccuUar moSknaa. h' $narmti remedr for aB Blood, Skin and Scalp JXanaea item a coavmoa bktoh or eruption to the irorat Serofnla. It clesrisea. fsmfiea aad enriobea ilia blood, aad cases Salt-rbema, Tetter, Ecsema, &yaipelaa, aa4aHniarin6rof bloodtamts, from wnaterer eaaae. It eoete yon nothing if ft doesn't help won. The mlr qnestion 1 vbetiber woa want to M nerped. -Golden Medieal ZWratT b tbo Aeapeat btood -wiriier sold, ttfoim;h dmggiatsv becao yog oaly pay for the ffooi yo get. I Caa yoo ask mora ' The "Keoowery" acts equally frail all fAa ysor roand. 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DOUBLE DICK AND JOE;
Th& Poorhoxis Waife. BY BA.VID L0WRY. fJHAFTKR VI, gHOBT-tlVED JOTS. When Joe woke up the next morning the sun ves shining across the Boor; the pattern On the carpet looked'brilliant; Inch beautiful, bright colors she had never seen oa a floor. There was a prodigious noise outside. Chickens were cackling and cackling, cocks crowing, geese cackling, turkeys robbllDg, men shouting and calling to tach other. Thero was a sound indoors 'a rattling of pans and sound of didhes and many feet moving. Joe sat bolt upright. Everything was mo strange. She did not know whore Bho was nnui sne recaliea ner journey, one had slipped out of her bod, was slipping autetly into her clothes, when suddenly a -bead was -thrust in the door. "Oh, yon are up. well, youll find tome things on the chair over there, and i apronThen tha bead was Withdrawn. The voieo was Santantha's. It was sharp and disagreeable. Joe did not like it. But she turned to the chair, where she found a brown stuff dress, a world too wide and much too long for her. The sleeves were so long they name down over her hands. When she was tally in the dress she gave herself a shake. ' "Humph! I feel like like a granny In this. I suppose I've got to wearit td rather have my old one but here roe-" She tuned up the sleeves and put tho apron on and tied It. Then she discovered it was wrong side out She turned it, md wondered if she did not look like a woman. Then she walked down to the kitchen. "Toe. are here, are yon?" said Mrs. Wonder; "Go out and bring in the pans the chicken feed was in. Wash them snt clean, mind; then wash the milk palla and mind yon scald them with hot rater. Joe, who was very quick-witted, wonlered how they could be scalded with cold Water, bat sbe obeyed the orders promptly. Samantha observed her critically, (hen deliberately washed the feed p&us and scalded the pails. ".Now, maybe you can do it tho' next time." One or two of the farm hands were loohin on. Tfaev were waiting for their breakfast, and Joe blushed for shame. The men ate breakfast nrst. Mr. Job Wonder was so bssy he did not see Joe tore good while, Then he asked her abruptiy: - Well, bow'd yon sleep last night? Pootv eood, 1 reckon. -My wife's beds sint ekalted in Acorn County; leastwise I never and none like 'em." "I slept very well, thank yon," said foe with burning cheeks. When "the men were gone, Mrs. Wonier, Samantha, two girls that were here, there, everywhere, Joe thought, at once, and Joe sat down to the table; -The breakfast was not as bonntifni as the topper; but there was more on the table. and a greater variety, than Joe had ever beheld on Mr. Zeke Caper's private ta ble, of which she had obtained -many glimpses in passing his rooms. When breakfast was over, Joe, with out being prompted, was helping to wash the dishes, when Mrs. Wonder told her to drive the cows-down the lane into the meadow, and put the bars up alter them. Joe went about her task like one who understood it One little cow, a brindle, (rith crumpled horns refused to follow the others. She turned on Joe, and Joe estreated precipitately. Again and again Joe returned to the charge, and the crumpled boras lnvarllNy drove heVba!i. finally, when she was a liHU-rilit-4 neo, sne picked up a stone, threw it, hit the cow on the horn, and brindle boot-faced and trotted into the meadow after her fellows. When Joe returned to the house, she was perspiring with her exertions: There was a curious twinkle in the-i other girls' eyes, and even Mrs. Wonder leemed to be trying to keen her coun tenance. Samantha snorted ont: "To- let brindle set ahead of you. You've got to make . the opws mind you If you'll make your salt In the country, miss?" "What must I do now?" Joe asked Mrs. Wonder. i , Mrs. Wonder gave her numerous oriera. They were so many that Joe thought it impossible to perform the dunes in one day. But she obeyed her in structions to the best of her ability. Then, to her surprise, she found she had abundance oi time. Availing herself of the opportunity. lite stole ont to the barn where the chickens were hunting food. Then she ran down to the brook, and watched tho sacks and geese playing in the prods made for them. Suddenly she remembered her banjo and accordion. To return to the house, get her treasares. and silo out the back Wov. and make s circle to the barn occupied less taan nneen mmutea. A CB- fltaj IK3X13, U1U UU UBH3 Will Ut3T 1 aae, said Joe to bersell gayly as she tknmmed the ban'o, and hummed a I :ong. Then she tried the wheezy old : accordion by way of variety. When she Satisfied herself she bad found a biding piaca for these treasures, she concealed them, and returned to the farm house; where Samantha contrived to find work for her. She placed a pile of carpet-rags before her, instructed her how to sow them, and poor Joe was left alone with the rags. When Job Wonder entered the house in the middle of the afternoon, ho foend Joe lying with her head against her chair, fast asleep, her needle lying Inherlap. Job called Ms wife. "What makes you set her to sewing them rags!" "I awn't do it" "Whare's Samanthy? Samanthy's did it then." "What Is it now?" Sa siantha asked. coining in. 'Job don't want the new girl to be killed with work, I reckon," said Mrs. Wonder, scornfully. Taln't that, ezackly only I want yon to break her in easy like. She ain't osea to steady worit " "Well, shell learn it If she lives here," responded Samantha tartly. "How. Samanthy, you no slow. I've some aay here, I reckon-" You wouldn't, then, ir I was your wife. I'd not have aay man meddlin' iu 'the house." Job felt ill at ease. He was not quite sure he had done right bringing a girl home from the poorhouse. But ho con trolled himself and warned out Poor Joe, who was wide awake now (the conversation aroused her), from that moment disll'ced Samantha fully as much as Samantha disliked her. In time she began to feel' taore at home. At the end of a week she knew and called every farmhand by his name, knew the names, of the horses and cows. and learned, like the others, to call Samantha "a crank." But she made many mortifying mis takes. Both the women forgot she had opportunities. Both expected Quite as mnch of her as of any girl of a simllw age raminar wita farm lire, isotn indulged peculiar whims; both wore set in their ways. Samantha, to mako herself more disagreeable, was stiff, precise, angular, exacting. She . a thorn in her brother's side. Mrs. bonder. If left alone, would have sympa thised more with her nu?bana s aims, felt more in his ways and views of life. Wivh the best intentions in the world, Samantha rendered her brother isareble at times. Jobi was well named. A more patient did not live In' Acorn County.
few look-fag ow soma Ple$4
wt day, when Samantha suddenly burst 1n upon him. Brothor Job, I'll not havo that girl about here." "Hoity toityl" oxclalmod Job, rising snddor.ly. "What ye flustered for, 8anaulhy? "I'm not flustered. You'd ndt bo flustered if she was your hand. "There you go agin, now. FnsslU' f ussin' for a trifle. , "What do ydu Call a trifle) Job? I told Von from the first you had no business brlngin' a girl from the poorhouse here. She's unbiddable, too." "You'd orter to to make some lowanco for her." Allowances! Job Wonder, you talk liko a a " "Why don't you spit it out, Samanthy? An eejiot. Is that it?" "You've said it " "What's tho gal done now?" "I told hor to boil a quart of rice." WoH -go on." "I was busy so was Maria. Well I was busy over tho bedding, and a good while afterward I called to Joo to put on some cabbage as tho other girls wore helping Maria with the peas and things Slio asked me what sho d put tho cabbage in- I said to put it in tho pot She Said the pot? we're all full. 'That can't be,' says L 'Nothing to put tho cabbage la?' I called down. '$fo, says sho; everything's full of rice.' Now, Job, what do you think that ignorant creature did? Instead of putting on onough rice to make a quart, she deliberately measured out a whole quart of rlco and put it in the pot! Of course tho rice swelled, and swelled, and swelled! She got out a'l the pans and put it iu thorn, and got out the othor pot and it swelled and swelled!" "There, thero! Stop! You'll ki l me!" said Job, putting his hands to his sides as he . laughed until tears rolled down his cheeks. Samantha bounced out of tho room, angry with him, with his wife, with everybody and everything. Poor Joo was laughed at by tho womon folks for a week. The next formal complaint was made by Mrs. Wonder. ' "Will you listen to me. Job? You must take that girl away. After all the trouble I've 'been at to get my hair matched, didn't Joe take my new switch, that cost me eighteen dollars, plait it, and make a whip out of it to chase' tho cat with."
Job was consuming with inward , his wife. "The gal's lively full of ideas, that's all." Another and greater grievance was poor Joe's tenacious bold upon her banjo and accordion. The farm-hands surprised her playing one day. If sho had any spare time sho hastened to the barn, and thummod her banjo and played the accordion. I will explain hero that these solo treasures were bequeathed to her by a poor-wretch who died at Barncsvllle poorhouse a man who in his time was a negro minstrel, but could not stand prosperity. He took to Joo from tho first, and when he.found his fingers had not wholly lost their cunning he taught her as he sadly picked up and played upon the instruments that had made his name famous. Joe remembered treasured up scraps of the gongs ho sang, and what she could not remember, she "pieced put," woman-like, with her own composition. She made parts of tunes. Anything more laughable or whimsical than Joe's performances on the ban'o and accordion, wheezy, torn as it was, could scarcely be conceived. This was a sample of the extempore performances the farm hands enjoyed when they prevailed upon her to bring her banjo and accordion to the farmhouse, and play while thoy gathered around her in a wondering, admiring group. (Wifli banjo accompanyment) Come day, go day, Lord sond Sunday! Shake dat niggor out ob do grass, Or he'll never see Monday, J'ever see never see Monday. (With accordion very dismal.) O poor Lucy No-a-a-1, O poor Lucy Ke-a-a-1. If I had you By mj fll'" li JW iliVt-i' l"Sluld feci. (With banjo rapid.) A little man camo riding by. Says I, 01e man, your boss will die." "Well if he dies I'll tan his skin, An' if he lives I'll ride him agin.9 (Very rapid): Camptovn ladles sing dls song, Du da, du da; Camptown race-track Ave miles long, Da du, du da; Went down dar wid pocket full ob tin, Du da, du da; Came back home wld bat smashed m, Du da, da da, da-a-a. Gwlno to run all night, Gwlne to run all day; I'll bet my money on de bobtail boss, ' Who'll bet on de bay-y-y? As Joe entertained the group beside the farm door, sho "worked hard" to borrow Job's language. Her feet, hea-1 and hands were in constant motion, showing, as Job Wonder said, a coir-mendable-resolution to "got there." But Joe's accomplishments were net limited to tho banjo and accordion. Sbe was nimble-footed,- and remembering some of the "steps" tho negro minstrel taught her, she would dance and play the accordion. This was a treat to the farm hands, who sympathized with the girl, and whe applauded her performances beyond t heir desert?. Unnecessary to add that hor dancing was Joe's crown ne disgrace in Samantha's eyes. "It was an abomination." oainautua vuuiu suo wu uiuru WM Joo's "antics" to make her ormner .ion laugn. xu nil iJiuuauijiuj a mv Mb vuu iuih would havo flowed on more evenly in time, but fate ordered that it was 'to be cnt'very short. . A young lady, bred in the city, a rela tive of Job's, visited the farmhouse in company with a young gontloman A party was given in their honor to which many were invited. Tho. c ompany was so largo that the dancing was confined to the clean swopt barn floor. Foremost among those who helped to pnt the barn in order was Joe. Sho holped to bring in and arrange tho evergreens, and for once displayed good taste iu Santantha's judgment When the night came Joo was in her j element Contrary to all. expectations, all the festivities! after the supper was disposed of centered at tho barn. Tho old-fashioned games were begun, and progressed merrily there. Old-fashioned dances were revived there. Joo, attiaed in a now calico dress, with her hair dono up for the first time (it was usually iu a tangle of curls), was. among tho spectators for a time until tho needs of tho merrymakers compelled them to press Joe into the dance. Sho was enjoying herself as she had never dreamed of enjoyment wnen suddenly Miss Berkley exclaimed: "I have lost my dlaspnd ring." Tho dance was Interrupted. Speculation was rife as to tho mannef in which it had been lost Miss Berkley's partner, a young farmer, suggested that the ring might have fallen betweon tho boards composing the barn floor, which Job Wonder speedily demonstrated was impossible. Samantha, too. said- if tho ring was really lost somebody must know whoro it was. j "Oh," said the owner of the ring, in! ..t.lWI. .11... n tl.. .kM.t 1. n UT1... 1 I.. A ..tit n onMal ..M L? I mantha, looking at Joe. Poor Joe blushed carnation. She thought every-eye was upon her. 'Don't say any more," said Job, appealingly, to his sister. "I tell yon tho ring is stolen, brother Job. I must spoak. What did you do with Miss Berkley's ring, Joe?!1 i - Poor Joe looked at hor accuser in ' amazement, then at the curious faces about her. Her own face was doadly pale now. 'Sho confronted Samantha with flashing eyes. "How dare you say I stole it?" "Do you dony you have it?" Samantha demanded angrily, looking down on her. "I don't deny ft Why should I deny it any more than any othor person here. Nobody else is denying It why should I? You havo no righr $o ftsk me ) I saw Dai ring. ' ' I
"The iinpndence of hor," exclaimed
Samantha. "I never did see i,ueh a bold. brassy creature. I wilt look iu your pocKetsr "O pray pray don't," said tho owner or tho ring. But Samantha made a motion as if to execute hor threat "It you do, I'll blto you," said Joo. "You shajl not search me. " Hoar tit Brothor Job?" "Yes, 1 hear It Yes, and you're mtk' ingvory little of yourself, Samanthy," said Job sharply. "She shan't search me I'll die first!" Joo roitorated. She pushed thoso nearest hor aside, and ran out of tho barn, oxclatminx: "Sho shan't soarch mo I won't stay to bo called a thief!" "Stop, JOo," salt' the farmer, running atter ner. -stops stop!" But Joo was running toward (ho roal, running with a fleetness that laughed pursuit to scorn. Even while tho f armor stood shouting to her to re turn, sho disappeared in the darkness of the night , "O, do stop bor do!" said Miss Barkley; "I've found my ring in a fold iu my dross." "It's too late too lato, now," said Job Wonder; "she's gone. " It was true. Although a dozen men ran hither and thither searching ber, not a traco of poor Jo could be found anywhere near the farmhouse. Joo had vanished vanished utterly. (TO UK CONTINUED. "Must" and -'Mustn't." "A fellow oan't have any fuo," growled Tom. "It's jjst 'must' and mustn't' from morning till night. You must do this, jou must learn that ; or you mustn't go there, you must say that, and you mustn't do the other thing. At school you are just tied right up to tho rules, at home well a shake of mother's head means more than a dozen 'mustn't' Seems a pity a boy can't have his own way half the time and do something as he likes." "Goinp to the city, this morning, Tom?" csked Unole Tied from the adjoining room. "Why, 'of oourFe," answered Tom. "Going across the common." "Yes sir; always do." "I wish you'd notice thoso young trees they've been sotting out the last year or two. There's something rather queer, it seems to me. Of course the old trees will die sooner or later, and others will be needed, but well you must observe rather carefully, so as to describe their appearanoe, etc." "What about those trees, Tom?" asked Unole Thed after tea, as they sat on the piazza. "Why, they're all right; looked a little cramped to be sure, snipped short off on top, and tied up to poles, snug as you please, every identical twig of them; but that's as it should be, to mako them ship-shape don't yon see? They can't grow crooked i( they would. They'll make as handsome trees as ever you saw one of these days. Haven't you noticed the trees in Mr. Benson's yard? tall and scraggy and crooked, just because they were left to grow as they pleased. The city fathers now don't propose to run any risks "But I wonder b,ow the trees feel about the must and mustn't," remarked Uncle Thed, dryly. Exit Tom, wishing he had not said quite so much on the subject of trees and boys. Sunday Afternoon. Home Baal ChUdran'a Sarins. Sidney's aunt found him in the pantry eating cake and lump sugar. "Oh, Sidney," she said reprovingly, "you know yon have no right to come here and help yourself." "Auntie," he answered, gravely, "a man who gave a 'dress in our schoolroom the other day said: 'The Lord helps those who helps themselves,' and I'm just helpin' myself.1' "Are you really sick, Sidney?" asked the family doctor, one day "Dr. McCartney, Fin perfectly surprised at your asking such a question. I suppose that you forgot that it's Saturday,'' was the reply. Sid's father heard a crash in his study, and, when he went to investigate, found a hole in the' window and a ball on the floor. "Papa," iiaid Sid, calmly, "you told me to apply your teaohin's practerly, so I've been 'speri; mentin' with distraction of gravitation." Tve learned a whole column of (.pollings and meanings,' exclaimed Bessie. "Do yon understand what you have learned?" asked her sister. "Of course I do; just hear me. It. begins with 'anarchy,' a-n-a-r-o-h-y, anarchy confusion, disorder, misrule." "Before you go any further," said her sister, "pat that word into a sentence." Bessie thought for a moment, and then said triumphantly, "Did ever anybody see such an untidy place! Sarah Jane, come in here with your broom and sweep up this anarchy." ' She described a man as "bounded on the north by his poll, on the south by his sole, and east and west by his funny bones." On another occasion she gave the dictionary definition of "consistency,'' but added, "I can explain it much better in my own way. I understand exactly what it means. It means either having one side to your mind, or else keeping the same side always on top. I haven't consistency myself." Kate Field' Washington. Matte ns like the telegraph, telephone and electric light only come when the world is ready for them. In 1808 Sir Humphrey Davy produced electric light, but two generations have had to pass away before it could be improved and brought into genera! use. Faraday's discoveries made the application of electricity for this purpose not very difficult. Davy feared that the eleotrio light would cost too much to ever come into general use, and even within twenty years so high an authority as Tyndall spoke doubtfully of distributing snob a light from house to house. Davy's light was produced by a battery of two thousand voltaic cells, and was, of course, very sostly. j The incandescent light is quite a recent application of electricity. The improved dynamo has greatly rednced ! the cost of generating electricity, which has now become one of the world's indispensable forces, and half a dozen able thinkers and investigators have made it possible for a hundred ingenious men to devise mechanism and makt, applications of electricity to lighting human habitations, and important improvements upon existing processes are still foresha wowed. j Possibly the rarest fern in the United States is Asplenium obenoides. i It was first found as a solitary plant along the Schuylkill, near Philadelphia, forty years ago. Abouv, ten years ago a number wore found by Miss Tutweiler at Huntsville, Ala. Becently S. L. Powell of .Tohrs Hopkins University has found it in considerable abundance on Kuip'r, Hill, apart oi the famous battlefield of Gettysburg, It was growiug with Camptosorus rMzophbyllns and Polypodium vulgare, the former its usual companion, A cablegram front London says that the metropolis is much exercised over "a dress-reform movement." Tho new dress, it is said, "consists of brevity of skirt, duality of underdress, and shortness of upper drapery." And this the London reformers call the "rational dress." This is not new. We have seen this garb in its scanty abundance in Central America, and have heard that it was sometimes seen upon the lt(, i Tariety theaters,
ME OPENING GUNS.
rMfi OPPOSITION ORDNANCE OF SMAL,L CALIBRE. rite Blunders of the Iowa Democrat Valiaolea of 1'Heir Argumenta Foreign Trade VIgurea Give the Lie to JHinoeratte Assertions, The tawa Democrats. No platform, howovor shrowdly built, can be made wide enough to hold all tho "isms" that afflict lUo politics ot tho latter part of tho nineteenth century. All but one of them can bo held on tho same structure, but the builders must determine which one shall be excluded; it prohibltlonism be excluded saloon Ism can bo admittd, If saloonism be admitted prohibitionism must be excluded. Tho ' Democratic party of Iowa determined that, as there is much more money to be collected from the saloonkoopcrs of the .state In aid of its raninafgn than Trom tho prohibition societies, the best thing to bo dono bv it was to admit the saloon Is iu. Accordingly, nearly the first resolution adopted by tho Democratic Convent'on pronounced tho prohibitionists to be "anathema maranatha," excommunicated from the porch and from the altar, from tho harvest Hold and from tho thrashing floor of Democratic politics, and all that legislation prohibiting the sale or manufacture of intoxicants must bo repealed, not even local option being allowed, but that everywhere, in ovory village and at every crossroad of the State whoever will may soil intoxicants upon payment of a license. Tho great brewers, the distillers, the wholesale dealers in Llntoxicants In neighboring States now may be expected to contribute largely to the Democratic campaign fund, and thoso gentlemen resident in Iowa whose breweries, distilleries and saloon properties have been made unprofitable by the prohibitory law will contributo even more largely. As a plank for revenue only the Democratic resolution against prohibition is inserted Ingeniously. But, even without regard for revenue, it was eminently proper that tho Democratic party should resolve in favor of free whisky. Wore tho Prohibitionists as shrewd as tho Democrats thoy now would abstain from Dittinc a third ticket in tho finld and wouldthrow their whole strength in support oi tne xtepumicau party, which is likelj to stand pledged against tho repeal of tho law now in force, which practically is prohibitory. Yet it hardly is to be expected that the Prohibitionists will act wisely. It is likely that by running "a straight-out ticket" they will strengthen tho Democratic party, which has pledged itself to repeal all vestiges of prohititory legislation. Taking special care to secure saloonism a firm footing upon its platform, tho Iowa Democracy invites all the other isms, except prohibitionism, to stand thereon- Never having itself accomplished any measure ot social, financial, adminstrative, or elective .-eform, always having been found In opposition to every such moasuro whenever there appeared to bo a possibility of its passago, the Democratic party ot Iowa now professes sympathy with every real, every fanciful, every idiotic echetae of reform. It is tho old negative platform of generally being in faver of everything and specifically pledged to nothing that the Iowa Democracy has reconstructed in a vain hope of deceiving the people. For, excepting to repeal of the prohibitory law, the Democratic convention of Iowa specifically pledged itself to nothing that the Democrats of tho fe tate can accomplish if placed in control of tho Legislature and in possession of tho Governor's office. Tho resolution in favor of taxation of all kinds of property Is vague, for if all kinds of property held within bho State now are not taxed, then tbo assessors have failed of duty. The resolution is meant to convey the idea of the Democratic party being favorablo to more exact assessment ot railway property, but it is careful not to say so. It Is so framed as to bo capable of explanation to the farmers as moaning much, and to the railway men as meaning nothing. It is a dishonest juggle. It is m-re impudence that charges the Republicans of the Twenty-third General Assembly with defeat of tbo Australian ballot law; whonover a fair and practicable scheme of electoral reform is proposed tho Republicans will be found voting for it.and it will bo very strango if the Democrats are not found voting against it. Tbat "control and regulation of railroads as now enacted by law," whic h is approved by the fifth resolution of tho Democratic convention, is of Republican conception, and the only practical opposition to It has been manifested by tho Democratic party, which sought to retard its operation by endeavoring to eleut railway partisans as commissioners to execute it In its resolution, for "the free coinage of silver" tho convention overreached itself. The West door not desire to have the United states coin without charge all the European. Asiatic, Mexican, and South American silver that can bo dumped on its shores. The West does not dosire' to hfcve the currency of this country contracted by the payment of millions yearly for the purchase of foreign bullion. Tho Republican Convention of Ohio truly voiced Wostern sentiment when it resolved for "the free coinage of American silver." There will be money enough if ail the silver of American mines be coined. But tho Iowa Democrats, like thoi? Eastern brethron. hato any project that protects or gives ad vantage to any American industry or. Institution; they must coin tho stiver of Asia or the gold of Madagascar, where minors receive eight cents a day, on equal terms with tho products of our our own high-w igo-paylng mines. This Is tho veriest wanton exaggeration of tho free-trade spirit. Our own mines can supply us 'vith silver in plenty, and the demagogic attorance on this point Is merely a wanton display of Democratic hostility to American institutions. "Free coinago of American silver" is good enough, and that is the Republican de mand as voiced by unto, wuicn lowawtu approve. in national as in otate matters me Iowa Domocracy is opposed to American Industries. "Wo donoimco tho McKlnley bill" aro tho first words of their eleventh resolution. Let them denounce. But tho Mills bill, which the ra alters of that platform would like to substitute, would not havo made sugar cheaper by two cents per pound, nor would it havo increased tho price of wheat by ton cents ; D'-T busbel through the agency oi reci procity, nor would it have prevented the formation of that Anglo-American salt trust which the Democratic aspirant to tbo Governorship of Michigan favored. All these things and many more the Mc Klnley bill has done. The Republicans will bo quite ready "to fight It out on this lino if it takes two summers." A Vire Oram the Hear. Our freo-trade friends of tho Tribune, Times, and Herald, although they aro credited by tho London press with being "able aids" to the English cause, aro really receiving very little comfort from any of their friends across the water. unless, perhaps, It is comfort of such eharactor as they do not desire to parade before tho public Ortaiuly neither the testimony of the public men of England nor the prossof that country bear them out in their assertions as to the effect ot tho McKlnley bill ou the trade of England or America. They havo Doon asserting mat inai bill has already worked a groat damage to America, but Mr. Lane Booker, who is Consul General for Great Britain at New York, bogs to dlfforwith them, lie has ma le an official report to tho homo office in which he talks about tho effect of tho "new and higher duties" (the 1cKinley bill) in a way tbat must maKO (ieorgo Jones and Joseph Medill smooth their hair the wrong way. Hero is tho way ho talks: "Tho trado of New York has been influenced by the new and higher duties which havo effectually bonolited AnmTlcau manufacturing interests. Now life. he adds, has been imparted to tho cotton and woalen industry everywhere bnt especially, wyi Mr. Bookeri t thtl tU
caao in the Southern States, whore new textile mills are going up with surprising activity, While all tho Old mills re being operated on full time. The silt industry, Mi. Booker's roport Bays, In conclusion; Is the only exception to this state of general prosperity.1 Only think of it. Hero are two hard blows in one little paragraph. "Cotton and woolen Industries" greatly Improved; In fact, "the only exception to thistate of prosperity is what? "The silk industry." Tho silk industry, which tho McKluley bill did not disturb but allowed to remain whore formor high tariffs had placed it, languishes. But tho cotton and woolen Industries, which tho McKlnley bill has been so much abu-'od for touching, are very prosperous greatly Improved Mr. liooicor is officially located In New York, and George Jones should at once cite him to appear at the editorial sanctum of the Times and show cause why he is thus discrediting tho editorials of that pa nor. Mr. Med 111 should writo to his old friend, Mr. Jones, at onco and Insist that he call Hooker to account for thus firing upon them from tho rear. The cohorts of freo trado can stand anything elso hotter than that Their armor does not protect them in that quarter. fitter Ocean. 1 "" Tariff Picture). NO. t We are making an Increased percentage every year of the pig iron we use. Wo imported from England 33,084 tona ot pig Iron In the first loar months of 1890, and only 13.341 tona in the first four months of 1B)1. NO. X Print cloths, 6-1 by 6-4, rated at a yard in 1833. Do you know what they have come down to In 1891 1 3.0T cants. NO. a Women and children seem to be wearing as mnoh woolen dross goods now a laat year. When, therefore, we find that only 08,801,789 ot snch goods were imported dozing February hist aa against S14.947.S17 for February, 1800, we realise that instead ot importing the goods ve import the industry, Prosperity and lTorelfn Trade. Tho British embassy at Rome has mado an interesting report on the foreign trade ot Italy. From a free trade standpoint the roport Indicates a very bad state of affairs. Both exports and 'imports show a very largo decrease The exports of 1890 were 915,000,000 less than in 1889, and the imports fell off In an almost equal degree. As Italy has recently established a protective tariff, here was a good opportunity for the British embassy to furnish a powerful Anglo-Mugwump free trade essay, showing how Italy had thrown away the markets of the world. But no, the British official, Mr Decring, who compiled the report, candidly admits that, "in spite ot these ominons figures, there are certain facts connected with them which are not unfavorable for the national prosperity. One of the main items of decrease In imports is grain, which Is due to a bountiful harvest; so that oho value of the cereals Imported in 1800 was 1,800,000 less' than in :1889. A decrease in the import of cotton and woven goods is due to increased a-tivitv in Italian weaving establishments, markei by 'i-easlng imports of raw cotton. 'iu .m. ., f. of coal aro also increasing. Similarly decreases in tho import of silk goods and in tho export of raw silk Indicate an increasing domestic silk business.". Indeed, Mr. During regards tho customs returns as showing that these toxtllo Industries In Italy aro not in a depress d condition, and this view is corroborated by tbo large imports of chomlesl products and dyeing machinery. As to tho decrease in exports, it Is largely accounted for by increased ability to consume, and consequently increased consumption at borne. We have beforo called attention to the circumstance that Italy, notwithstanding that tbo Government is on the verge of financial bankruptcy, is growing richer as a nation; that wages, wealth and- comfort are increasing; and all this in tho faco of a serious decline in foroign trade. Tho facts simply go to prove that, while foroign trade Is to bo desired and acquired, and can be an important factor in national welfaie, the chief and primary factor in such wolf aro is tho control by a nation of its home trade. Italy is getting along better with a loss of foreign trade, because Italy is selling to and buying from Italy, and Is sustaining In Italy tho industries that formerly did their manufacturing for the Italian market in France aad England. ifeto York Press. The Ohio Bill. Have you hoard from old Ohio? . How tho boys there got together? Bow they threw aside all shoddy stuff And picked on solid leather? How they yelled for Blaine and Benny, And when ttrey had their OU, How they settled down to business And introduced a Bill? Bonest Bill McKlnley Bill . And carry old Ohio Will McKlnley surely will. 'Twos an elegant convontion, Whero all things were done ill shape; Next fall the tln-plato liar Will he buriod deo, in crape. Oono will bo the hopes of Cleveland, Tain will be I ho schemes of UIU They'll be laid to rct eternal By the groat Ohio Bill. Ilonest Bill McKlnley BillKnock out mil and Graver Olovclond Will McKlnloy surely will. Fearia avwwcrlpt Tubm! is an improssion a vory general impression that tho protective tariff originated with tho manufacturer. of tho United States; that protective tariffs were inaugurated and are maintained by the. manufacturers of the United States. The exact reverse is truo in American history. Tho men who mado the first great protective tariff law, signed by George Washington on the Fourth of July, 1780, were the farmers of tho United States. That first great Congress was occupied by planters and farmers, with a few professional mon hero and thore. but largely in tho minority; and the mon who made that tariff wore either the planters and farmers themselves or they were tho representatives of an agricultural constituency. And they made it for a purpose. They mado it with their eyes wide open, looking vo tho future. It was tho second law passed by the. American Congress aud sisnod by Washington on that day memorable in Airorlean history. Tho mon who made it had tho courage ot putting in the body of tho bill exactly what thoy meant They declared that they were making tho tariff bill for two purposes. First, to raise rovenuo to conduct tho Infant Government, and secondly, to encourage manufactures. A practical illustration of tho operations of tho McKlnloy tariff law Is to bo found in the decreasing importations of woolen manufactures and worsted goods since it went into offect For the'iirst j three months of 1890, midor the o'd law, tho importation. of woolen manufactures - woro 1,471,400 yards, as against l.lno,100 yards for tho first three months of 1891, under tho now law. For tho same period in 1K90 tho Importation of worsted goods was hi, D34,300 yards, as agamt 7,230,300 yards this yoar. The country's consumption of thoso goods is certainly not less, but greater, tills year than last Increasing population alono would havo tho effect of maktng larger consumption Thoso figures show as no argument can show tiio benefit of the McKlnley bill to tho wage-earners of tho United States. Ex-PnUSIIlEWT Cr.BVEI.A3fO is not so much "the most interesting figuro in American politics" as ho onco was or as his frleds claimed he was He has boon losiht ground very rapidly of late, notably in Sa Mouth, and, from present tndlcatloi s, ne will be pretty well to tho lour yr Utnca.
Drawing tha fion Bow. The London Globe tells the story of ft candidate for a Yorkshire borough addressing the electors in flattering terms, and telling them that for "the hope of being their representative he had given up ''valuable prospects in India, and traveled many hundreds of miles." "What & jolly fool you must be," was the unsympathetic response of one of the orowd. The speaker had, in fact, returned to England because hia prospects in India had proved de lusive. Exaggerates of this class have been held up to derision for centuries. Lando (sixteenth century) telle a story of an Italian ecclesiastic, who was so given to drawing the long bow that his friends only derided hie tales. He at lost hired a simplo country lad, whose whole duty it was to stand behind his master's chair and corroborate his anecdotes. The boy did his work for a time; but at length his employer ventured on a tale so amazing that the honest servant startled tho company by exclaiming, "Nay, master, take back my livery; I cannot swear to that" Epitaphs offer it very usual field for exaggeration, few imitate the sensible conciseness of an inscription in a Hampshire church, where the survivor merely adds, after the name of the deceased "To those who knew him a narration of his virtues would be needless; to those who knew him not it would be tedious" a fact too often lost sight of by the Writers of monumental inscriptions. Facts themselves may be presented in a light which .exaggerates them to the listener. Bosweli once praised tho profuse hospitality of a gentleman who "never entertained less than a thousand friends in the course of a year." "That is to say, about three persona dined with him daily," said Johnson. Both "ways of putting it" were true, but they conveyed widely different meaning. .Minnesota's tVantlerfal CUmata. "Curious winter phenomena we havo here," remarked the St Faulite to the visitor from St Louis. "You notice that icicle up there on the cornice of that eight-story building? Should say it was ton feet long. Well, this vory morning one lust like that dropped as Sam Bones was passing and tho point struck him square on the top of tho hood. It went through him like a shot and pinned him to the sidewalk bolt upright and stiff as a statue." "Kill him?" . "Hardly. As soon as the icicle melted he walked oft all right enough. See?" MAn extraordinary escape, truly perhaps an isolated case. But I should think he would be liable to take cold from the draft through the hole in his body." "Sfotatall! You see, tho winter climate hero is so dry that" "Bosh!" JToture's Bealm. Why tV, dido Marry. An article in the North American Review as ks: "What Makes Women Marry?" Why do the flowers bloom? Why docs water run dowt hill? Why does tho sun rise and set? And why does the world turn roc.nd? There would bo just as much ser.se in asking these questions as why women marry. They marry because it was ordained from tho beginning cf creation; because marriage is a part of the divine plan; because, as a rule, women are safest and happiest in tho married state; because it. is right aud proper that they should marry, and because a natural, normal, well-balanced girl turns to wedlock as the flowers turn to light As Artemus Ward said in reply to the .query "Why do summer roses faue?" "Because it's their bis." Indianapolis News. A Frasilo Structure. A system which chronie indication ha depleted and rendered nervosa and feeble la, in. deed, a very fragile structure, a tenement laat toppling into lrrab lovable decay, nxsasain irritability of temper, abnormal and causeless anxiety, hypochondria, hysteria, and sleeplessnesa these are lome or the manifestations ot Bervonsneea, Tbat grand, invigorating nervine, Hoatetter'e Stomaoh Bitters, tranqniUizea b; strengthening the nerves, accomplishing the double result through the medium ot renowec'i digestion and assimilation. Ho tonio in existence exhibits such thoroughness, produces snch speedily appreciable effects aa the Bitten. It is a perfectly reliable eateguard against malaria and flangerons kidney trouble, and remedies completely liver and bowel innotivity and disorder. Nervous brands should not fan to fortify their systems with this benign protective wush merits a persistent trial. Large Timber Wanted. A Chicago man is out here in search of a stick of timber 110 feet long and four feet square. Ho has not been able to find such a stick in any of the lumber yards around town, and so has gone down to tho Nehalem to look for a tree to make one. He is working in the interest of the Columbian Exposition, and It is supposed that the stlclc Is wanted for the ceuterpolo or that great circus. PorOand Orcgonlan. Wanted Comfort, Guest Tour bill sir, is outrageous. Instead of charging mo your usual rates, you have charged three times that, and credit it to extras. Hotel Clerk Vou forget that you said you wished to" be mode comfortable. Street & Smith's Qpod News. HALL'S CATARRH CURE is a liquid and ia taken internally. . Sold by Druggists, ?So, A XII m.i Hunk. A Kansas woman began saving dimes a year and a half ago, and sho broke her bank open tho other day and counted out 8118.70. Tbi host eoupu medicine is l'iso's Care lor uonsumpuon. aotd everywnere. bo, Don t toll a man his wrongs are not wrongs. You will add to his wrongs if you toil him that. Don't Feel Well, And yst yon ars sot stok enoaiih te consult a doctor, or too refrain from so doing tor tear yon vtli alarm ToniaaU ami friaxda vs will tell ran last what iron aeed. It is Hood's gtrgtpartU. wbtoh will soon Hit Ton out of that noowtaln, ncamfortabls and daoarooa oonrilUon, lato a st'ata ot good healtb, coufl4euns aad chaerfulnasg, You'ra no Idea how Ootent feats peoulUr medicine la in such rasas aa To-an, H. B. If ron deoide to taka Hood's SsnanatlUa lo no ba Induced to bar anything elco tiwtsad. Hood's 6ar8eparilla oMBTsnarocglsta. tl; utitorW, rrtvarod oalr tv CI. HOOD' 00, Lowell. lian. 100 Doses One Dollar Tho Soft Clow of The TEA ROSE Isj Acquired by Ladles.WhO Um pOaUONI'S MECIICATEO COMPLEXION POWDER. TUVIT. SOLD EVERVWHEWK. PAID MeTwiii PAY Yu SMmln directions hrwhlRh anvswlr. aarwl nikfmmt&lnl!MMPF. JTwlfl not In terrere with, bat will Improve any buslnoss. Bond Mams, Poatonco and Stat, enoloalnc UiH. Aidiaaa. U. COIHQOOff. Naaslw, IU. Mlin W lUnil U Freckles. Plmnles. Black. IUf KLI nUMJUli heads. Oily Skln all Skin Disease cum! at once by UU. A SIM KIT'S L FRENCH ABSENiuwAeEKS,jwtoetiynarra. less. SI. 00 per box by mutl, sample package. 10o. VlMlitca trac Oe., 7i Sut Oortludt Btwot, Mif Twfc WaUlalUtOU,X,a r Altai NT SOLICITORS Boat Catifrti Medicine. Cures where all olso fails.
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. 131
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Mr. Lorenzo 9. Sleeper b veil known 1o the citizens of A: ton. Me., and neierhb Bays: " Eight years ago I watt " sick, and Buffered as no orie l vm " dyspeptic can. I then began 1 " ine August Flower. At jiat t "I was a great sufferer.' " thin? I ate distressed me bo 1 "had to throw it up. TheB''iii " few moments that horrid distpes " would come on and I would hav "in ii fl-id sum For that Horrid Stomach Feeling. "again. I topk "little of y our iaei "lane.andtelt
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neared. and since that - tune " have never had the first sign of it ".lean eat anytmnz without "least fear of distress. I wish " that are afflicted with that terrib "disease or the troubles caused "it would try August Flower, i " am satisfied there is no "equal to it". The that ! Cleans ' Sit is Lenox, Have You Tried it?i IS" NOTrT Try It Hop! Go to your Druggist, 'i him one dollar, teu him y Wut a. uuiub vs ,-)5S PRICKLY BITTEI The Best Mediqne j ' for the CURE of AIIDbeasMoftteUw, il All LHSetSeS St M : Ail Diseases efflwi All DIsstsesofittI PURIFIES THE BIXX CLEANSES THE SYSJpf Rssiorts PorfMt DONALD m Of Rojdmqr. f Jras&, Kennedy . Medical Discoi cures Hc-i iid Old Sores, Seated Ulcers of 40 standing, Inward Tumors every disease of the skin; cept Thunder Humorr Cancer that has taken?? Price $i.So. Sold by s. " 1 T C 'i Canada. Reliable ; Accurate , Dun BEAMBQX-BRASS-BEAMHRON ADDRESS.1 fHEFREISHTf'FOR TERMS. : BINGHAMTON'N I EMS' 98? I Powdeml and Fttf m (VATKXrKB I Tbo ttronomt and BMroal made. Will niakb the feat: luuiod uarct oap in wa without (wiitnyr. It less 1tmsa lor softcnuc cloaiisimi wnata-iiiiwa, dis ing sinks, closets, nubing 1 ilea, bftinu. trcoa. e'C ULT UTS 01 Vl7IJe A3ajst J. UlKsr,, a. am, . nrtlfl A8. stability, sound fly I UflLl;'naott syatemj LIFE coat. A1 Iroaej 921-3-6 C ieatnntSt.Phqsjd'' ll .t.-.lewaL ft lmnif.il l'ii-lairi MmK and ftaftl aVHj aa jcadiag melt ddrem w The 0 R- HlltCO uiiickir and nertnmiontiT cured tr mm new J For rrt'd bonlt itMi Ms with Tnl FOLKS todies. Koetenirur.noii . w. n. o .....7...... r. WJwn Writing to ftdmrttaeta. you aanr Oaa AelverttasniMait latkla:
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