Bloomington Progress, Volume 25, Number 7, Bloomington, Monroe County, 8 April 1891 — Page 4

"WhSe, it nrast be conceded that aufteals possess mast of man's good qualities, it cannst be denied that they share many of Ka fauHs. Animals cherish ideas of Tevenge -with slinost-Unmaa tenacity, and appear to believe thoroughly in the proverb that tlocJtrea it to be sweet. There have been occaaions irken this long-cherished desire lor rovenga has been gratified in a serious manner. The Kev. John Selby Watson, in his highly-suggestive, -work on the "Beasoning Power in Animals, alludes to the folio-wing tragio occurrence that happened at St. Cloud, in the neighborhood of Pads. A large Newfoundland dog lras kept tied up during the hot .weather, and every morning a servant-maid, aa she passed, thinking tp do it a kindness, threw a quantity of water over the animal. The dog appeared to consider this daily deluge as an insult, but, being tied .up, it was unable to manifest its resentmens. One day, however, the brute was released, and no sooner did the unfortunate servant present herself than it sprang at her with intense ferocity, and, before she could, be rescued, lolled her.

It has already been seen that dogs will try to avenge themselves upon human beings as -well as upon" animals.; while the instances on record where they have inflicted punishment upon other dogs are very numerous. In his "Encyclopedia of Bund Sports," Blaine famishes the following anecdote: "I had in my kitchen, says a certain Duke, " two turnspits, one of which went regularly every other day into the ' wheel. One of them, however, not liking his employment, hid himself on the day on which be should have worked, T that hia companion was ordered to enter the wheel in his stead. But the dog hung back, crying and wagging his tail) and making signs for those present to follow him. Being curious to' see what be would do, they put themselves under his guidance, when he led them straight to a garret where the idle dog was hid, and immediately fell upon him and killed him on the spot. In this ease it can hardly be considered that the dog was prudent hi the revenge he took although, for the matter of thai, human beings rarely axe as he probably had, for a time, at least, to take the place at the wheel of his companion. In a somewhat-similar anecdote given by Jesse the injured brute acted with At 1 i ."V . - Bw BmtBoagBM. un one occasion so goes the story when the cook at the Jesuits' College at lis Fleche required the spit turned, the dog that should have been on duty was nowhere to be found, and when the man would have employed another, it bit at him and ran way. In a little while, however, this latter reappeared, driving before him the one that -would have evaded his duty, whickike forced to enter the wheel and goon with bis work. Chamthings. Ben Franklin or some other philosopher said that man was a bundle of habits. Good habits stick to a man and so do bad ones; and, therefore, is is well to be cautious about forming Vm. I heard a preacher say once that net one man in 10,000 ever changed his habits after he was 45 years old. At home he wants the same chair to sit in and the same bed to sleep in and the same kind of clothes to wear. If children are raised to brush their teeth and comb their hair and keep their finger-nails clean, they will do it all their lives. If they begin early to chew tobacco and smoke, they will never quit it A man is righthanded or left-handed, according- to habit, and he will put on the same shoe or boot or stocking first every morning without thinking about it. Sotilr habite, if they are good ones, re like settled religion. There & a power of comfort in 'em, and a man is sot happy if ho makes e change. Sill A man of many parts The book eanvaaser.

Spring uJedicine Is so "important that great care should be -

used to get THE BEST. Hood's Sarsaparilla has proven its -superior merit by its manyremarkable cures, and the feet that Hood's Sarsaparilla Has a larger sale than any other sarsaparilla or blood purifier shows the great confidence die people have in it. In tact The Standard Spring Medicine

Is now generally admitted to be Hood's Sarsaparilla, It speedily - cures all blood diseases and imparts such strength . to the whole system that, as one lady puts it, "I aam a tiA m4a inpnr " cur tri crft

Hood's Sarsaparilla SiiMlu rtlilisiilili (1; slxInrSV Eispered only Sold by fl 4rnit!i. ft; six for $9. freparedeatr a C I. HOOD CO. Lowell, Km. 1 B O. I. HOOD CO. Lowell. Km KX Doses. One Dollar I (DO Doses One Dollar

A cough or cold is a spy which has stealthily come inside the lines of health and is there to dis

cover some vulnerable point in the fortification of the constitution which is guarding your well-being. That point discovered the spy reports it to. the enemy on the outside. The enemy is the changeable winter climate. If the cold gets in, look out . for an attack at the weak point. To avoid this, shoot the spy, Wtt the cold, using SCOTT'S EMULSION of pare Norwegian Cod Liver Oil and Hypophosphitcs of Lime and Soda as the weapon. . It is an expert cold slayer, and fortifies the system against Consumption, Scrofula, General Debility, and allAneemic and Wasting Diseases specially in Children). Especially helpful for children to prevent their taking cokL Palatable as Milk, PBCIAL.8cotfEimUkm a noMecret, sad to prescribed by the Medical Profmli. u an artr the world, because it ingredients are sclontiflcallr eomotaed. la such a Burner aa to. greatly increase tfcelr remedial value. CAUTION. Sootf s Emulsion Is. pat tip tn saltnon-cotored wrappers. Bo sore and ajstttweenmna. Prepared only by Scott Bowne.Manufaotaring Chemists, New York, hid fcy all Druggists.

r j av CX01UD 'V "

C RELIEVES INSTANTLY. I

BaaatMM Things la aiwuk

One of the most-beautiful and won derful structures of glass was executed by Seanrns, called the Crystal jfalace. The building consisted of three stories, supported upon 960 columns. The first story was of marble, the second of glass and the third of gilded wood. The lowermost columns were thirty-eight feet high, and between these columns were 3,000 brazen statues. The area of this building could accommodate 3,000 people. . The Portland vase, much spoken of. was found during the sixteenth century in a marble sarcophagui, in the out skirts of Kome. for two centuries it was the principal ornament in the gal lery of JPnnceas Barbenm,. at ltome. and was then sold at auction to the Duchess of Portland for 1,872 about $10,000. It was thenceforth spoken of as the Portland vase, previously known as the Barbenm. it was placed by the Duchess in the British Museum, where it was much admired by visitors, being very beautiful and of curious workmanship. One day a madman named Lloyd was passing through the building, and, stopping in front of the vase, gazed at it for a few moments and without any warning liaised a stick he carried, and with a terrific blow broke it many pieces. The parts were gathered up and a skillful workman called in who succeeded after a great deal of labor in mending it, and did it so well that the moat-careful scrutiny fails to detect where the pieces are joined. The vase is composed of two layers of glass, the lower one of a deep blue color, the other of an opaque white. The figures are etched in white, standing out upon a background of pure blue. Another famous vase is the. Strasbourg. It was discovered in 1825 in a coffin. The network is of zed glass and the inscription of green. It was disinterred by chance by a gardener. who with his spade broke -a three-cor nered piece out of the top. In the fif teenth century Venice became known all over the world for its manufactories of glass, and to prevent the importation of the art into other countries the glass-makers were placed upon the Island of Murano, and they were placed under tne strictest inspection, and the Jaw forbade, under tie severest penal' ties, any workman from taking his art to a foreign country. If he succeeded m disobeying the law, his nearest rela tives were to be cast into prison and kept there until he returned. If he persisted m remaining abroad an emis sary would be employed to assassinate Jam. m AS that in this world enlarges the sphere of affection or indignation is to be reverenced, and all those circumstances enlarge it which strengthen our memory or quicken our conception of the dead; hence it is no light sin to destroy anything that is old, more especially because, even with the aid of all the attainable records of the past, we, the living, occupy a space of too large importance and interest in our own eyes; we look upon the world too much as our own, too much as if we had pos aessed it and should possess it forever, and forget that it is a mere hostelry, of which we occupy the apartments for the time, which others better than we have sojourned in. before. John Bustin. "Father, " began the boy aa he looked tip from his First History, "are silver mines very fresh?" "Fresh! What do you' mean?" "Why, they have to put salt on 'em to make 'em keep, don't thejs?" "What nonsense! I dont understand you." "Well, I heard some men in the car say you salted a silver mine and made a hundred thousand dollars, and I wanted to know what the salt was Tfor." The way that boy was hustled off to bed made him dream of cyclones all night. A xsaroauii statue Is to be erected to the martyr WuuamTyndall on the Thames embankment In London. It takes only about two second to tret una .duel. niH u r v H-ftNl 1 f 1 n iitf 11 a T

BURIED TREASURES. 9T KAKY SHAW. Sons is summer's rare vivid glory, The roses of June died lone ere Its noont

Yet they live in my heart's throbbed story. VKh "pansies for thoughts" sacred to hold And Way's eheery buttercups of gold. Bat, ah, 'tis time In cool, calm September, Which hints off rosty winter's chill, To bid that voarninK heart be still; That hope-blooms may haunt ma not with past hallowed hours. And perfumes may taunt ma not with Junogathered flowers, Radiant blossoms. Just to remember, Now, when soberer autumn-blooms Spring from sweet summer flowers' tombs. Autumn's just autumn, nor will I bring Into its days the manner of spring; But why banish balmy sconts, llng'rlng yet, Or sadly name romcmbranoe, regret, Doemlng autumn days lack all blithosomo scope, Becauso nigh gone is the nectar of hope? I cannot let my gathorod treasures go-, Hoartswill stay warm through stern winter, I trow. Deep In mine's depths eternally bright, Safely Sheltered from ourious sight I will keep roses to recall The joys of summer's sweetest thrall. South Kadkausa. Wis. DLElfenstein'sMission Remarkable Romance. BY EMILY TH0RHT0H. CHAFTER XV.-Conttnuod. Not a word was spoken by either, although, to her dismay, Ethel found that be kept persoveringly by her side As they emerged from the woods, Robert grasped her arm firmly with ono hand, while with the other he produced from his pocket a pistol, which he instantly pointed at her. "Now. Miss jNeverww," no saia, -you stand still and hear what X have to say, or take tho consequences. " Then, seeing that she turned deadly pale, he added, quickly: "I do not intend to harm you, if you keep perfectly quiet, hut I do intend to show you that I am master of the situation at this time. You need not look round for assistance, for I assure you no soul cornea this way at this hour." "Bobert Glendennfng," at lastlssuod from the girl's pale lips, "put up that pistol Instantly, and allow me to pursue my way unmolested. Sir Reginald re quires my presence lmmeaiateiy." "So do 1, and, what is more, l intend to have it, so he must wait. Do you see that horse and phaeton behind those trees? They are there expressly to take you riding. I ask you, therefore, politely, will you favor me with your com pany?" -no, sir." "Yes. sir. you mean. If you do not mean it, it makes no difference, as ride with mo you will. Go forward now at once to that conveyance, and let mo assist you in. I assure you I will bring you back to the Hall in good season. Go on; I am determined you shall obey me!" These words bo enforced by planting the cold mouth of the weapon against her forehead. Now this pistol, though It looked formidable, was not loaded, and ho knew it, but for the sake of carrying his point he intended to fully frighten her into complying with his strange wish. tfutrKtnei was a brave gin, ana though pale, she never oven shuddered. Fixing her eyes fearlessly on us, sno said in a firm, stern vofoe: 'If you think it manly or wise to shoot, shoot away! But I will not stir one step toward that phaeton. Thrusting the pistol quickly in his pocket, the young man sprang toward her so suddenly that she could not defend herself, and clasping her slight form tightly in his strong arms, he lifted her at once to the waiting conveyance, placed her in it. then leaping to her side, Seized the reins and drove rapidly off, while the poor girl was in almost a fainting condition from displeasure and fright. -After a few moments of Intense still ness, broken only by the clatter of the horse's hoofs, as he bounded on, Bobert turned to her with laughing triumph In his eyes, and exultingly exclaimed: "You see, my charming young friend. that when I say I will do a thing I intend to do it Now I decided this aftersoon to have you for a companion on a little drive, and here you are, seated cozily by my side, while we are dashing away In grand style, confess now, is not this Just splendid?" "It is not. Sir, 1 tmnK your conduct ungentlemanly and cruel tit the extreme; "Not at all! I assure you, I regard you as the cruel one, when you declined to favor me with your company. Why you treat me so strangely is an enigma. You ought to feel honored to be allowed to ride with so well-known, wealthy and kind-hearted a man." It Is no honor, sir, but a deep insult, to be thus forced to do what Is disagreeable. "I suppose it would be very disagree able also to have me kiss yon." "Sir!" was tho indignant exclamation that fell upon his ear. "Well, disagreeable or not to you, it would be extremely agreeable to me. I tell yon candidly, I would like to do it, you are so sweet and beautiful, but I will refrain and deny myself that pleasure, if you keep perfectly quiet aud just try to enjoy this ride while you have the chance. If you do notif you mako the least fuss, 1 vow I will do It!" "You vow you will Kiss me,-sir," quer ied Ethel, looking sternly In his laugh ing, saucy eyes aa he spoxo. "Yesl And you Know me wen enough to believe I mean what I say. I see pis tols make no impression upon your mind. so I will see what threatened kisses can da Let us understand each other, Hiss NovergalL I will not touch yon, or make myself offensive in the least, if you keep quiot and fust enjoy this ride. You may as well do so, for this horse goes like lightning, and you could not possibly escape. 11 you scream, as 1 see you are inclined to do. no ono will hear you, as this road Is seldom used, and. there are no houses on it for miles, if you do not wish to talk, I will not even speak. but rest assured, if you make the least movement, 7011 shall instantly pay the penalty by being kissed. Do you understand?" Ethel made no reply. She realized fully that the eccentric individual beside her bad her in bis power, therefore acknowledging to herself that It was best undor the circumstances to mane no further resistance, she sank back in her seat and remained silent and motionless. Away they flew over the long and lonely road, passing brooks, ponds, trees, rocks indeed, everything but houses and inhabitants. During the whole drive qot one word more was spoken by either victor or vanquished. Ethel's face was doadly pale, however, during tho hour that ensued beforo the head of the horso was turned homeward, while Robert's was illuminated by a glow of Intense satisfaction and triumph. When at length tho shades of evening began to gather, they once more neared aiondennlng Hall. Stopping the horse beforo they reached tho place, tn a sheltered and obscure spot, Bobert jumped out, then turned to assist Ethel from the vehicle. As ho did so he remarked: I really wish you had not obeyed directions so implicitly; It would have been so sweet to have " Springing past him to the ground, Ethel dartod away before he could finish the sentence ho had teaalngly begun, and with a saucy smile still upon his Hps the egotistical and fan-loving young man entered onco more aud drove toward the stables. Breatfclnf a prayer of fervent thanks

giving to God for her safe return when she had once more reached her room, the poor girl brushed away the tears that had relieved hor excited toolings as soon as she had entered, and thon, with a sinking dread at her heart, at once repaired to tho sick man's room. A volloy of spiteful, hard words saluted hor entrance from tho trrltablo invalid, and it was somo timo lioforo sho could utter ono word In hor own defense. When at last ho gave her an opportunity to spoak, sho informed him truthfully of tho outrageous conduct of his wife's nephew. "Bobertl Do you say Bobort did so insolent a thing? AVas ho guilty of so unpardonable an act?" exclaimed the sston lshod baronet. "Do not boliovo hor, uncle," immediately interposed Bolle, who had made it hor business to be present. "What sho says Is utterly falso. - I do not doubt but that sho spent the time riding with somo beau; but, I assuro you, it was not with my brother, for ho was with mo the entire afternoon. She is a wicked girl to impose such a falsehood upon so sick a man. " As Bollo uttered this cruol fabrication she glanced spitefully, yot with 111-con-ccalod triumph, towards .tho amazed Ethel, who was not at all prepared for such an artful and malicious attack. "Sir Beginald, I assuro you I speak only the truth. It was Bobort Glendonning who forced me Into his carriage, and thus detained mo against my will." "You lie, you good-for-nothing jade! you know hotter," roared Sir Reginald' "I will never believe it. Leave the room instantly. I do not wish to see your face again until morning." With a cold, dignified bow Ethel loft at his bidding left, too, without another word, knowing well that contradictions would only enrage and excite tho passionate and unjust person beforo her. After she had disappeared Bolle also at once took her departure, chagrined that her uncle had not instantly dismissed her rival from his service and house. She did not know that this his lordship would on no account do, as he had In

trusted to her keeping a secret which made her services far too valuable to bo easily dispensed with. He might be enraged, and so dismiss her for a night; but no fault she might be guilty of would induce him to part with her while all went well In the concealed room. CHAPTKB XVI, A XARBOW ESOAPB. The next afternoon Ethel felt that sho could safely start to the village to make a few purchases for herself, as at tho lunch table Bobert had toldliady Con stance ho should leave homoat two that afternoon to visit a young friend, and should remain away until noon tho next day. Longing, as sho did, for another nours freedom from tne sick room, sno inwaraly rejoiced at tho tidings, and with a lighter heart than usual, passed down the ramblo and through the porter's gate As sho had not ventured beyond the grounds of the Hall since hor arrival, except on this afternoon before, sho did not know in which direction tho places of business lay; therefore, seeing Sandy Staples, the lodge-keeper's son, just beyond tho place, she stopped and inquired of him. "Oh, yes; I can tell you, certainly. Go straight forward, pass Dr. Elfenstein's cottage, when you will como to a grove of willows; pass that, and thon the railroad track; and about one quarter of a mile beyond you will see a row of houses; that Is the commencement of the real village proper, and there you will find several stores." Thanking tho boy, Ethel opened onco more hor parasol, for tho afternoon was warm and sultry, and followed tho path pointed out When sho reached the cottage hor eyes wandered over its small flowerbordered gardon, its pretty vino-covered porch and open windows, with their bowed blinds, just rovcaling tho dainty, cool-looking lace curtains within, that waved back and forth gently in the faintest of all breezes. "How differently fir. Elfonstoin impresses me. With his manly bearing, his open countenance, and kindly eyes, even though his manners aro reserved and quiet from that vain, egotistical Bobert Glendenning," sho thought "I cannot understand oxactly why I detest that person so thoroughly, nor why I admire the yojng physician so much. One thing, perhaps, influences me; I always loved usefulness in a man; Dr. Elfenstein labors for the welfare of others; young Glendenning is an Idle spendthrift living merely to gratify the pleasures of his own handsome self. One, constantly doing good, the other I should judge by his looks and acts evilly disposed, and reckless in all his ways." While thus thinking, she passed the willow grove and the railroad track, and soon reached the stores, where tho purchases were made to her entire satisfaction. Then she retraced hor stops, walking slowly, In order more fully to onjoy a cooler breeze that was springing up; but as she neared tho railroad she quickened her steps, for sho knew that a train was nearly due,. Soon the place was reached, and in stepping over it to hor horror she found the heel of her shoo fastened tightly in ono of tho frogs. With a desperate haste sho strove to loosen it; in vain! Every struggle only made It as it seemed, more firmly wedged. ' Harki what was that rumbling? With pallid lips and trembling form she heard a distant whistle cell of tho swiftly coming train. In despair, sho stooped to unbotton the shoe; but it was a new one, and therefore hard to manage, whilo hor trembling Angora sought to undo the fastening, but she found them powerless to accomplish the task. On, on came the engine. Sho could fool tho rails vibrato with their motion, and still her foot was fast and she could not move. Thon, one wild shriek of terror rang out upon tho air, and even before it died away a man's foot camo running to tho spot "Be calm! I will savo you! Do not struggle stand perfectly still 1" said a voice in her ear. On came tho cars; even then they could bo seen in tho distance. One moment more and sho would be under tho fearful whocls; but a strong hand caught the foot wrenched open the buttons, then, as tho hot breath of the engine was almost upon hor, she was drawn from the perilous position, and knew no more. When sho opened her eyes sho was lying on the green grass, a short distance from tho spot while her head reclined upon some gentleman's shoulder, and the same person was gently fanning her with a folded newspaper. Looking up, sho met tho earnest eyes of Dr. Elfenstein bent upon hers, and saw that ho was thus kindly supporting her. "It la -all right now, Miss Novorgall. You are sale, and will be yourself In one moment" he said, in answer to tho inquiring look sho gave him. "Oh, but that was terrible, torrible!" she murmured, with a shudder, as her eyes closed again, at tho more rememranco. "It was, truly! While I got to you In time, thank God, there was not a second to spare!" "Oh, Doctor, I cannovarthankyou, for I know now that it was you who saved we!" "Do not try, Miss Nevergall; I will not be thanked. My fright I assuro you, was nearly equal to your own." "How did yon got tho shoe off?" sho asked, at length, as she raised herself from his arm, and glanced at hor foot. "I novor can tell; It was so stiff and tight It took all my strength. But now, since you aro hotter, I will seo whathas bocomo of that obstinate little boot." In a few moments ho smilingly returned with its dilapidated remains in his hand. "You will scarcely know your own property," he remarked, "It Is so crushed and torn. The action of tho heavy train loosed it, and tbm I camo oil with the spoil;"

"My poor, poor shoe," said Ethel, a faint smile hovering around hor palo Hps. "Well, It may bettor be crushed than my foot; but, really, though scarcely wearable, I must put it on;" and she reached out her hand for tho torn object. "Nay, allow mo to restore it to Its placo," said tho Doctor, kneeling beside her. "My poor child, you have scarcely stronprth onough yet for such a task." With tho greatest tendornoss and care, ho drow tho boot over one of tho smallest, little feet ho had over seen supporting a. woman, and as ho finished buttoning tho! very few buttons that remained, ho arose, and bogged her to keop seatodj until ho brought hlthor his horso aud gig, as he told hor ho should insist upon carrying hor homo, as sho was, he know, still weak from fright Looking around, Ethel saw, for tho first timo, his horso standing quiotly by tho roadside, a short distance from the track, where ho bad loft him to rush to' hor assistance. Bringing tho animal and conveyance to her side, Earlo turned, and boforo she fairly understood his intention, gathered hor In his arms from tho ground, and, lifting her into the seat sprang lightly to hor side. "You must not bo startled at my pre-! sumption. Miss NovergalL Bemomber, physicians have privileges others have not You aro my patient now, and until, I see tho color re-established on your lips and cheeks, I am in duty bound -to care for you. You aro not offended?" Ho bent to gaze into hor eyes as ho' asked tho question, and his earnest look! brought tho tell-tale blood back to her cheeks. ' J "Oh, no, no! That would be ungrate-! ful Indeedl" was the iow reply. The rldo really revived her, and as tho. Doctor took her quite a roundabout way, In order to prolong it assuring her it would bo beneficial to do so, she was able' to glvo a natural spring as ho held out; his hands to assist her to the ground when at length they drove up to the entrance of Glendenning Hall. , There was a happy smile still upon her lips, as after thanking and bidding her kind friend adieu, and seeing him lift hlsj hat as he drove off, she ran up the piazza steps to pass to her room. But tho smile vanished instantly as Belle came forward from behind the heavy screen of vines, and with an angry look in her eyes exclaimed:

"What does this mean' i wisn to know if Sir Beginald pays you a salary to ride around the country with young men? I shall Inform him of this ride, again, to-day." "As you please, Miss Glendenning. It certainly is not my intention to Keep secret tho fact that I have just narrowly escaped death by being crushed by the cars. As Dr. Elfonstoin risked his life to drag mo from danger, and thon employed his skill to bring mo from a dreadful swoon, he cortainly thought it no harm to restore me safely to your uncle's aid, as I was too weak from fright to walk." So saying, Ethel passed, on, leaving the angry but astonished girl to her own reflections. That these wore not of a vory pleasant nature the following whisper gavo evidence? "It is alwavs the way. Wish to keep ono person away from another, and something is sure to happen to bring them together. One thing I am determined, however, he shall never marry Ethel Nevergall, If I can possible provent n." to bs coararaBD.l Wanted tho Pass Anyway Hick Sheldon publishes a pale-looking paper in a dingy-looking Kentucky town. Several weeks ago while Sick waa in Louisville, he went to the manager of a railroad and declared that he must have a pass to xtawsviue. "I should like to accommodate yon," said the superintendent, "but the faot is, our road does not ran in that direction." "Wall. I'm powerful sorry tor that," Hick replied. "My folks live down at JHawsville in tact, 1 want to go aown there to marry one of the prettiest women in tho whole countv." "I regret that we cannot help yon," said the superintendent. "Yes, and you dont regret it any more than I do, yon may gamble on that. Say your road don't run in that direction ?" Yes, that is what I say." "Which way does it run, then?" "Why, it goes in directly the opposite direction over to Princeton, for instance." Hick studied a few moments and then said: "Wall, jest make me out a pass for Princeton." "Have you got business over there?'' "No. but as I oan't get a pass the way I want to go, I reckon HI go the -way I can get a pass. I have been a journalist so long now that I jest cant pay railroad f a'r. It jest naohully goes agin me." Jrkansaw Traveler. A Ili-ids Who Was Coy. At a small station on the Georgia Pacific Boad a bridal couple boarded our train. They were of the "craoker" variety and their greenness at once attracted attention. They had tiokets for Atlanta and were going on a "tour." They hadn't been on the train ten minutes when the bride was noticed to be weeping, and pretty soon the room came back to where 1 sat with is conductor, and said: "Oonduotor, I wish youun would go'n speak to Mary." "What's the matter with Mary ?" was asked. "She'uns a-weepin' for her ma. Says she'un wants to go right back home." "Shell get over it" said the official, and the groom returned to his seat It wasn't over ten minutes, however, before ho returned to say: "Oonduotor, she'uns a-takin' on like smoke.- Says her can't abide to be mar'd, nohow, and her wishes her dun hadn't done it" "Well, shell have to make the best of it," replied the conductor, and the groom returned to console her. She turned away from him, however, and pretty soon he was back to say: "Conductor, she'un declar's shell go home to ma on foot I never dun sea anybody so onery." "Wasn't it marriage for love?" "Yes it wag 1 We'uns hev dun luved for nigh three faxs." "I guess she's a little coy. That will all wear off in time." The groom went to the rear of the oar after a drink of water, and just then the train stopped at the station. The bride was up and out on the platform like a flash, and the car had not ceased its motion when she leaped to the ground, fell head over heels, and started up the track on a run. The groom rushed out of the oar and jumped to the platform, and as he caught sight of the fleeing bride he turned to the conductor aud said: "Dog-on her, she'un'a puttin' in her best licks to get back to her ma, and I've got to toller I Yon'un dun said she was coy, and I dun depended on you and let her git away! Coy I coy I Why, she'un'ft got my fourteen dollars an' is runnin' like a skeerod rabbit !" New ' York Sun. A Dad Bite. Mrs. Beel "You have been drinking, Mr. B. Look at your nose." Mr. Beel "I I've been fishing, you know, my dear, and and fishermen always have to take something along for snake bites, you know, my dear." Mrs. B. But you haven't been following a mountain stream; you were out ou the ocean, after blueft eh." Mr. R. "Y e s, my dear, I I was bitten by a sea-serpent, my dear." Jfew York Weekly PnoLOKarea a conversation through mere formality is dry and unprofitable business. In such case tho aoonera mutur sneak is taken the bettor.

Papei ' Hmdo of Iron.

In the groat exhibition of 1841 an American spocinten of Iron paper was exhibited. Immediately a lively competition ensued aindnR British Iron manu facturers as to tho thinness to which cold Iron could bo rolled. Mr. Gillett rolled sheets the average thickness of which was tho olghteen-hundrodth part of an inch. In other words, 1,800 sheots of this iron piled one upon tho other would only uieasuro ono Inch In thickness. Tho wonderful fineness of this work may bo uioro readily understood whon tho reader is Informed that 1.300 sheots of tho thinnest tissue paper measures a fraction over an inch. Those wonderful iron sheots were perfectly smooth and easy to write upon, notwithstanding tho fact that they were porous when hold up to a strong light. Tboaa Trusts. City Man What's tho matter, my friend? Mr. Hayseed I'm mad as a hornet 'bout the way tho things Is goln' trusts and combines, an monopolies everywhere I just had to pay a cent more for a ball of string, and thoy told mo it was on account of tho twine trust City Man Well. It is a shanio tho way those combines force things up, raising the price of everything wheat corn, potatoes, butter apples Mr. Hayseed Eh? Do trusts ralso tho prices of farm produce? Oh, well, mebby they ain't such bad things arter all. New York Weddy. STaa the Life Boat! be your mvo-battarad, dismasted hulk Is dashsd to pisoss upon that cruel rest by tho resistless wavsi. Bave, too, a shattered physique, fast yielding to the attacks of dlseuo with that imperial renovator of health and strength, Hoetetttt's Stomach Bitten. The range of It powers Is wide, Its action prompt and thorough, its use always safe. Ohronlo Indigestion, debility and nervousness, malarial complaints, rheumatism, neuralgia. Inactivity of the kidneys and bladder, and that physical dsoay without apparent cause, vhlch is often premature, on speedily checked and ultimately cured by this medicine of many uses and sure resultr. Bleep, appetite and vigor are Improved by this helpful tonlo and regulator, the use ol which lucewise tends to remedy undue leanness. "Once a dead-head always a dead-head applies to our business as well as to any other," said the manager of a well-known steamboat line. "You see this bundle of letters on my desk? Well, they represent one day's request by mall received to-day for passes next season. There Is one letter there from a man who fifteen years ago was book-keeper in a steamboat office in Buffalo. For threo seasons I sent him an annual pass and then ho went Into the forwarding and commission business In Now York. He hasn't been in the steamboat business during those years, aud yet each year, regularly, comes his request for a pass. I havo declined his proposition yearly since 1885 and I seo I must do so again. It only shows, however, the evil of starting a man in a bad habit" Boom of Ohio, Uitx op ToiiBSo, 1 Lucas Coontt. ( Fbask J. Cheney makes oath that he is the senior partner of the firm ol F. J. Chexbx it Co., dolmi business in tho City of Toledo, County and State aforoeald, and that said Arm will pay the sum ol ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every case of Catarrh that eannot be oared by the use of Haus Catabiih Cube. FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before mo aud subscribed in my presence, this 6th day of December. A, D. 1880, , A.W.GLEASON, j sxau V Notary faUts, Ball's Catarrh Cure is taken Internally and acts directly upon the blood and muoous surfaces of the system. Bend for testimonials, free. P. J. CHENEY CO., Toledo, O. S9Bold by Druggists, 75 cents. Humanity and Hypnotism. ' Mr. Upton I don't believe that story about a Philadelphia father hypnotizing his baby so that it would sleep whilo he and his wife wont to tho theater Mrs. Upton Nor I. No father would be brute enough to think of such a thing. Mr. Upton No-o, of course not Down ton (the next day) Say Upton did you hear that story about a Philadelphia father hypnotizing his baby? Upton Yes. It isn't so. Downton How do you know? Upton I tried It on mine and It wouldn't work. Street mid Smith' Good News. THE WAV Ain IJNJE. II-andsome equipment E-legont day coaches, and W-agner palace sleeping cars A-re in dally service Il-etween the olty of St Louts A-ad New York and Boston. N-paclous reclining choir oars H-ave no equal lV-ike thoso ma by the I-ncomparnblo and only Wabash. N-ow trains and fast time IS-Yory day in the year. From East to West the sun's bright ray. Smiles on the lino that leads tha way. JCAONIFICENT VESTIBULE EXPRESS TBAIKS, running free reclining chair cars and palace sleepers to St Louis. Kansas City, and Council Bluffs. The diroot route to all points in Missouri. Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, Texas. Indian Territory, Arkansas, Colorado, Utah, Wyomfug, Washington. Hentana, and California. For rates, routes, maps, etc, apply to any ticket agent or address F. Cbjutolsb, dan. Pass, and Ticket Agent, Bt Louis. Mo, JL Monster Cuttlefish. A huge squid or cuttlefish stranded itself on the beach at Island Cove, Newfoundland. Its extreme length was thirty-two feet the tentacles alone measuring twenty-one feet; tho body was much larger than that of an ordinary horse, and the pelt was throe inches in thickness. It was cut up before being removed. "Blemishes are unsoen by night," but whon daylUtht cornea, every ono will know whether you use HAPOLIO. Buy a oaks wiu aieaa your nouse. A white man named JohnBon shot and killed a negro atMcCool's Station, Uiaa, be cause ne wouianoG uauos w auibuuu. Mks. McCubiit, of Buzzard Boost, Whitfield county, Oa, held out as long as she dared, and then at 108 was baptized. FTT8. All Fits stopped free by Dr.KUna's Great nerve) iwniorvr, no 1 1 ia uier ai uay sue vtiliouu cures. xreauo ana wmu cnu twtua ltuo uj Htsases, oaadta0r.BUlae.IMArah8fiaia.a. War is whipping a mule so much like playing an organ? Booauso if you don't O harp you will B flat. So YOU oniov Rood health?'' aakod Cross. "Why, yea, of course. Who doesn't?" replied uosH u-rsoiv. SHILOH'S CONSUMPTION CURE. The success of this Great Coach Can hi srifhout a parallel in the history of medicine, All druggists are authorized to sell it on a pos. ftive guarantee, a test that no other cure can sue. cessralljr stand. That it may become known, the Proprietors, at an enormous expense, on placing a Sample Bottle Free into every home in the United States and Csnsds. If you have a Cough, Sore Throat, or Bronchitis, use it, for it will cure you. If your child has the Croup, or Whooping Cough, use it promptly, and relief it sure. If you dread that insidious disease Consumption, use it. Ask your Druggist for SHHXWS CURE, Price 10 cts., so cts. and $1.00. If your Lungs are sore or Back laino( w ohilob't farou flatter, Price 2jf cU,

ray Gould's Story. Jay Gould always has something witty or humorus to say. A rich and exacting man had a colored servant boy employed named Jim. This Jim was expected to bo on hand all the time. One fine morning Jim was abjont and his employer wont to his old father's house and asked for the boy. The father said: " 'Boss, you can't have Jim any more.' '"Why, what is tho matter? I will have him.' " 'Oh, no, boss; you kain't hev Jim.' " 'Woll, why can't I?' " 'Kaso bo's dead.' " Te Dispel Colds, . Headaches and Fevers, to cleanse the system effectually, yot gently, when costive or billons, or' whon tie blood is impure or sluggish, to permanently cure habitual constipation, to awaken tho kidneys and liver to a healthy activity, without irritating or weakening them, uso Syrup of Figs, Thmr iirRclind Vnrelleb A coroner's jury in Vormont was given throe days in which to reach a vordlct on a boiler explosion, and they finally decided: "Bill Stevons was a pretty caroful man, but wo tlnd that he let ttu water In his boiler get too low while playing a game of cards." "The normal life, well being, and happiness of mankind depend upon tha physical health and perfection of Woman."' These ure tho words of Lydia E. Pinkham, and they aro true.

A Humane Janitor. Janitor's wife (in basemont flat) Whowl It's killin' hot here. Open tho windy. Janitor (meditatively) It's thoughtless you are to opon tho windy when ye know tho people in the flats above has been cdmplalnln' of cold all winter. Turn th' heat up stairs. Street ai Smith' Good News. Dobbins' Ei.ectbio Soap is cheaptr tor Sou to use than any other soaps would be given to you. or by its use clothet are tavtd. Clothes cost more than soap. Ask for Dobbins'. Take no other. Diamonds. Twenty-nine thirtieths of all the diamond mines in the world aro controlled by one company, whose capitalization is $18,000,000. In the mines at Kimborly, South Africa, eight-tenths of one carat Is found In every 1,600 pounus of dirt taken out To light these mines, ten electrlo .circuits, burning lights of 64,000candio powor, are employed. Gns. A. Busois, a v all-known resident of St. Louis, ears: "I have used several bottle of Prickly Ash Bitters for biliousness and malarial troubles, so prevalent In this climate, and heartily recommend It to all afflicted In a like manner. It is the best remedy I ever used." Zndlau (lorn. The amount of nutritive matter afforded by Indian corn is inferior only to that of wheat and rice. In tho quantity raised and used for food It is inferior to rice alone. FOB THROAT DISEASES, COUGHS, COLDS, etc, effectual relief is found in tho uso of "Brown's Brwchfai Troches." Price 86 eta. SoU only in fcexe. Queer Noises. First Guest (at grand ball) Hark, Isn't that the champagne popping la the supper room? Second Uuest Mo; I guess It's' tho young couples in the conservatory. Ne York. Weekly. That brlirht and lively boy used to be sickly and delicate before his mother gave him Dr. Bull's Worm Destroyers. He calls them "good candies." By mall, 25 eenta, John D. Park. Cincinnati. Ohio. Bubmarlno Tolrnraph Cables. With one or two trlflinir.oxcontlons, tho submarine cables of the world, which stretch over 130,000 nautical miles, and havo cost 200,000,000, aro of British construction. Bbboham's Phas act like magio on a STOMACH. Esperanto.' The now "universal" language, "Esperanto." has made great progress. Es peranto textbooks have been printed In fourteen languages. No Opium In Flso's Cure for Consumption. Cures where ott er rome dies tail. 25c Sweet aro tho utcs of adversity, but mosi people prefer sugar. Patent medicines differ One has reasonableness, an other has not. One has reputation another has not One has confidence, born of success another has only "hopes." Don't take it for granted that all patent medicines are alike, ihey are not. Let the years of uninter rupted success and the tens of thousands of cured and happy men and women, place Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery and Dr. Pierces Favorite Prescription on the side of the comparison they belong. And there isn t a state or territory, no nor hardly a country in the world, whether its people realize it or not, but have men and women in them that re nappier Decause of their discovery and their effects. Think of this in health. Think of it in sickness. And then think whether you can afford to make the trial if the makers can afford to take the risk to give your money back as they do if they do not bmefit or cure you. CHicHESTtirs Feun. TMt ORIGINAL AND EHUIMI. , i ms unifEM w imanrf tfiSM Mated with bturbbi. Take

u pu ni MLnctMu him, pi 04 wrapper. re mmmjfrrmum oMnturt. met Id stain far outlfletlkra. uaiimoaUaka. and 'ltixlTr-r isa 1 astl) L

ftel4 by -41 Ioal Brr4sl4tm. Best Coueh Medicino.

Cures whom all else fails. Pleasant and ugrecahlo to' taste. Children take it without objection. By dragg

evm WATERPROOF COLLAR W

THAT CAN BE RELIED Wot to glpJUtt

BE UP TO THE MARK

Not to 23

JUL TRADE 1

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NEEDS NO LAUNDERING. CAN

THE ONLY LINEN-LIN ED WATERFI

"Augusfi Flower"

Por two years I suffered terribly with stomach trouble, and was far all that time under treatment by a physician. He finally, after trying everything, said stomach waa about worn oat, and that I would have to cease eating solid food for a time at least. I was o weak that I could not work. Finally on the recommendation of a friend who had used your preparations A worn-out with beneficial results, I procured Stomach. bottle of August Flower, and corns menced using it. It- seemed to do tne good at once.' I gained in. strength and flesh rapidly; my appetite became good, and I suffered no bad effects from what I ate. I feel now like a new nvin, and consider that August Flower has entirely cured me of Dyspepsia in its worst form. James E. DitDERics Saugerties, New York, : W. B. Utsey, St George's, S. C., writes: I have used your August Flower for Dyspepsia and find it an excellent remedy. 9 The Soap that Cleans

Mosft

is Lenox. Tutt'sEair; Grav hair or w hftken chaacrd to a black by a single application of fMS It imparts a not ttna color, acta lwiMSa ousiy ana contains notuiits; imanoeax hair. Sold by all drunrista, or oenS 1 Sress on veccipt of price, SlusSw 41 Fork Placet, Mew York) BEEGHAM'SPIUl OMA WEAK STOUIKI 25 Cents a BoxQRIGKLY A M SSOWSl ss .mvwg One of the tst important rgans af fcumoB body l the uttK. wneans roporly perioral lis tuacHomi tha i tyitem becomes aerangaa. in KiONEVS. STOMACH. BOWELS, at in oarf arm iheir work. DYSPEPSIA. I 8T1PATI0N, RHEUMATISM, KIDNEY I EASE, etc, are the results, uaiei thins Is done to assist Nature In I R the impurities caused by Mm laat Of a TORPID LIVER. Thto aillilaaa I necessary will m femi li H Prickly Ash Bit II acts directly on the LTVER. ST0Mfgg and KIDNEYS, nitd ky ItsmtMaMt effect and genet-a! toalc dualities these oroans to a sound, fceaflhy ct and cures all diseases arisfaa froei I causa. It PURIFiES THE BLOOD. I m Hut clm. snd restores Berfact tawMkJ fvourdruflflis'tdoes not keep ttsktdai order it tor you. Sena1 2c Sanaa tar am mi THE HORSE TRAINER," pehlhaed byi PRICKLY ASH BITTERS tola yrowiBtoIs. ST. X.OUIS, Mgj -VASEL1 FOR A OME-DOIXAK HHX MQtjl wo win ueuver. rrtw orui cuariteK. to a ttiA United Mute, aliol tha toiiowiag a tul.y pack: Ono two-ouxtc bo-' of we.TMXlM..an Una tufMiiinM h'lrtla nt Vavina One jx of VnseU e Cold Creaiii-.......,. j UUO CUV Ol WUMlUWljIUl)UWM5...,,:)i One cake of Vatwltna S aiv uiiimiBi.. Onocako of TaelluoSoftp:exqut8itelractM One tvoono bottle ot Wbiia T-vMaiiaf,,, Or. tar tMcaaw mtftmaa. mar ntmola mrmitS naiitnL Om. mo account ha narmuaded mint your tmggtt ant ViUtu or preparmttim unlets lakteU viv our tuune. kaitw tw u wHbu iif receive ait imit tfrpu lekteh torn tttti or mo'9mWALL AT WHOLE ii too bm tr FttllrnKraMf lOnfi blmnka-wr toc por roll. PAPI (iiita.Sc iht roil. KmTho Uncut parlor papers I with 1H Innh fVlfiTrt tf I U ill it'll jdciwrruti nnu i.iwrw. AaaTe.aaw -ar. Wall lsvr MorclUMU, UMs W.ttadlMMfcC .15. 15 toslba. per mon brSX M 1( I romli NostuTing.Bainewjlj BenaSo. far em- ihirs and ttimonlati. AaaM O. W.y. aMVDKU. H Stste strsat. Csloaos, JB, K, o r. w. ....N. 14 Whrn Wriuiia- to MnrtlMn, Dta joa saw tk aaverltaeaMMit lot UO paper.. Why is n daa- -tltha lame lea- Hk a at arittmiotlc:' Because he put own tbti aud carries on 9. fffo Cms V4 OmmouD Bm TIm aab MaiV. . al UaU. ii k. k. rWMm rill tor smk jutf wan a . jsrsrua :n KX mma V a Hlter kin). Mffuee Rvl,0tittin . sot teat! . tMlt Recommended hv Phvsiei BEARS THIS MARS. MARK BE WIPED CLEAN IN A

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COLLAR IN THE MARKET