Bloomington Progress, Volume 22, Number 26, Bloomington, Monroe County, 22 August 1888 — Page 4

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Tw nutty PoB, my siafr'a cnura. InlMuMntNllW MWft TartiMtliwiKl tan asem. ltytlanajMar Ttarf anno wosthaeaattr Than gowtast boaisr, I togntnrt, ItUkdlrr Tbistnsytra A malar ttat ; with staqptacfestaW. atrtaTorsaraart tarsal, she aaM, Iteokapnnyffomiuy pars Aai pressed ttiri bar isssjpUac paint; Bat fwOlngm ths nrraren. This for your thought,'' IH isnsiU)fa t)sttatbsCaTtterffoa;fek -. C.jujsi1 tts iwlahmiit. 8b rota, Asd nramnrad, "Kiase cjA tor Wow. 8MB cnnd bar tbongbU, that ttfl-talem warn of romP sfcasaat 4 tfJR&J MAN'S ROMANCE Beirasavery great man; indeed I & aot fceBeve that there are in the country to-day three forester, j He was ? ft 8 inches high ; he weighed a trifle over 400 poaodaavoirunpois; Ms hand, in shape and sin resembling small ham, ra 15 inches lung; b ponderous loo was 19 inches. If all this did not antititnte greatness, what more can job Bfowts ealleri Gen. Cromwell, and Qhiaied posters oa the dead walla, with imooaaible pkvres of bun, ao her alded ham. Bui this, as I afterward leaned, was his show name. was in toe days of any youth that I saw and beeamt awed by this qfeeimen efhrnoan immeositv. Be was part large part of h permanent exhibition e( what wosJd, ia theee progressive and irreTerent days, be ealkd "freaks." It was penDaneot, in the sense that the oanvas oa the back fct which hid these marrels from the -ruhirjur and moneyless had bees there month, and as the qoartera "came nauWy, was Iftely to semain some weeks yet. . j . I obtained admissiou often; Much oftener, Ilear, than mv youthful finances; of thatday wonldjasttQr. Bat I hare mtbT repeated me of UiisextraTaganoe, an H became the means .of acquainting m wdh the great mau'R story.. IfyeoafessMQisniUQeerved, that the - General became the sole attraction that drew my steps to the show. AH the otters speedily exhausted their charms, wpoa me. lb dwarf I found on closer aeqnaiutfice a very peevish aitd irritable Kltte IsDow; the Circassian girl was so abtonnabboipely tiiatleoold notbeKeve that she bad erer been m the tightest danger of being sold to cruel Tvrka by heartless parents ; the bearded mdy was eontmnally patting on coqnettiah aitsto prove her sex, but it was soon apparent that this was merely a matter of boafciesvprobably one of the aondrtions of her engagement, and a neumitj to l earning of her salary. As Jbr the tettoedjnaa-ItnrBed from him with disgust, one day, when, in the coarse of a not infrequent npat in a doll hoar, I beard the CXreassian posUively metmthmteS net being tattoed at all; only steadied, ;t Bat the General i-ah, there was SMttbe slightest false pretense about hjml- So grand he looked, dressed wp m his rich scarlet uniform, ereased and teppedV with yards of gold mee,withlnM high polished top-boote and taswuls, his hnge dangling baber, bis high helmet and waving plumes! When he spoke, his deep-voiced tonee roOedaplrom his ohestbie a small thnnder-clap. Bnthewas se amiable and gtfiiln, and didao dearly love to ersok a joke with the men and women whe looked np in amawmentathim, the teQeatdt whom easily wslked'under his t anal I have known Urn to poke fan at his fellow freaks, and to r with mirth when one of them got m sharps retort on him. He was a real laagking philosopher, whose sense of hwmorand appreciation of the tact that fife was really; worth living seemed tohagrownwith his great growth. Myfreqwent attendanee soon pot me on terms of easy - familiarity with the groat man, and he would chat with me at odd moments.. Of course, J. was romantic in those days; where is the yonthwithoat romance? The General's faee was handsome, X used to think, fhoagh Ins festares were quite highly developed, and sometimes when be was serirms h j big blue eyes looked decidedly pathetic sad reminiscent. The a fixture in my head that thegreatnan. had a story which he might tell, if he would, thafcdid not remte to shews and freaks. A goodopportanfty emboldened me to ask him the dmet qnestioa. It was a rainy afterBaon,andtii(r canTas had been barren tt bosiaees for an hoar. "General, I inqnjrsd, " were you ever "Why, the lord tores too; child, What pat snes a notion m jenr head?" "I dont know. Everybody falls in Vtcl I awppoau giants might." ' 7J hnghed, and - retained his saber nttheaeablMrdv"" " "Why.I don't mhid telling you, for you're a eferer chap, and sometimes you aasnae we. m tell yon what, my lad, being there's nothing doing ' this aft ernoon, a yotfll nm over to the inn and bring me a quart of ' 'alf-and-'alf, Til tell yon of something that happened before I .was General,' - I eagerly accepted Sis terms, and in tea imnfetaa presented him the foaming tankard. Pe took it down at one great v. "Ah, that's good," he said, "and reminds me of the little inn my parents ward to keep on, the English coast. Thafs where I wm born, nigh forty years ago. Mr ra nsme is Peter Stiles. "Up taiTwas 18, I was no larger than ordinary boys. My father 'prenfiealff to e'earpenter m a village, Uttle way inland, and I was so fond of Se trade and so handy with the tools, that I inanaged to boy my time when I was 19. " ,. . -r A - .- "When I was 19; then, I remember. I was six feet three, and stSI erow tog. Iwabhr every way, except in weigft; i never got well filled out, as you seemenbwv till I was 30. But at 19 I 'was long-limbed, had tote of muscle, and was strong as a horse. "That was the time my love-scrape Began. Annie, a imge rosy-cheeked lass, not high enough fe t a oood hold on my arm, was bar-maid at her fathers

iniu to go there o' nighty after, a hard day's work, for a drink of ale; and when some of the loungers would banter me to shew how strong I was, I would take np three or four of them fit a bunch under each arm, and walk off with them. "Thw kind of g seemed t. j please' the bar-maid; and when her old father, whose skin was alwayirMl of his own ale, would .say, Ak. Annie, he's the, man for thee,. 138 f she would Wush and pout, and gonp-atairs. . ' "Before! was twenfry-one, we vere engaged. , I was, , then six feet eight, and' so strong and active I felt that I was sure that I hadn't does growing yet. ' . "Well, the was about a year whek was as lovesick chap as you'd wish-to see. I saw Amrie tw eveiungfi a week, and went with her to the Dissenter's Chapel on Sunday. I suppose it; looked odd to see that little1 mite going along by such ehap as I was, and I often saw folks smaing and langHng bar hind oar backs. But for a long time Annie didn't ' seem to mind ii, andlwas sorei diibit not even whea tine saury boys would shout after us: O, Goliah t where you goin' with that eluld?' ;

"One night I told her about Ihe litQe j house I was going to build with my own j bands for us, and asked her to set the j wedding-day about six weeks off. She j looked serktos, and I saw there was ' 'tntable brewing. If came out while we .! talked. She said her mother had been 'j talking to her. ' Her mother, was content with me as I was then; but she in-,! anted on our waitug a year, to see if I got any bigger. - " 'What do yon niean? says I, in w: huff. Oant you love a bigger man than I am!" '- " 0,Idont care, Peter, how big, you get,' said the girl, between laughing and crymg. 3ut motlier gives me no peace, saving itll never do to have a giant m the family, nd youll make tis j all ridiculous. 1 don't mind it' ' " flood-by to you, then, Miss Annie j llaxweil, I said, in a heat; 'If you or your mother : think yon can't stand a ' footnvjre of me, we d better part nor.' S "I went away in anger. Thatnigut old Maxwell came over to ask me to think better of it, and told me he bad scolded his wife for a meddling hussy. But it was too late. I had considerable big-boy pride in those days, and I held out stubborn. I threw over the Max wells, and accepted one of the many oners that had reached me, to show through the Ignited Kingdom. "It's just as well," the General medi tatively added. "I might have married Annie, and bee' happy with bete though I never should have seen any of the world tlian that seaooast eoraer of England. Bat her mother ah, that was different affair! Let me advise yon, my young fellow," and the General's eye became - droll, "if you ever get to be a giant, yon don't wants, mother-in-lam" v. ' "Dtdyweversee Annie again?" I inquired.- - . "O, yesj.eriy three years ago. Aftev I had showed many yean across the ocean, I came over here, and began to lay up money to bay a ploet fen; the. old. folks. I did tt; ttie; are bring on it now in Con: necticut. Along with them came Anafc and her husband and seven children. They were all in the tent when I showed at New Eaven. And such a man ax Annie had married! A little five-foot-sb. chap, looking as if he hardly htul spunk enough to ssy his soul was hi. own. I wanted to pick him np and hold him out at arm's length by tb collar; but I wouldn't scare them. Ho looked as though he'd had a good course of mother-in-laT before he ' left nghwd. t -Once I caught Annie's eye in the crowd, and I Bays: 'Well, ma'am, you see l kept on growing, sow, my young cbap, if .1 had the least vanity in the world I - shonldnt say another word. She was si stout, buxom Englishwoman, not a bit like my Annie of fifteen years before. She looked atni, and then at that little runt by her side, and I knew 'ay her looks that she wits glad she hadn't married a giant." in. The rain was over; the people com menced to come in. The band played a the freaks got into a good line with the General on the right, and the lecturer and historian of the concern la gan 'fondly to declaim his bundle of stilted lies about the curiosities. Wiili his few opening sentences, I leave this well-remembered scene of my youthful interest: "And first, ladies and gentlemen, we present' to yon Gen. Cromwell, the, largest man on earth, lacking but ui inch of nine feet, and weighing in the vicinity of half a ton. He is a diri xjt lineal desoendantof the Great Pro tecior of England, whose name he bears. The uniform he wears shows his rank of General in the Royal Horse Guards; A wife and interesting family wait his return, to England, not one of his n ine children being less than eight feet in hehfefr Peter Stiles, from his great altitn le, gave me a sly wink. Mrs. Gatchaehance What about that advertisement, -Tolin, that you were going to answer? Mr. Gatchaehance The one about doubling up my capital? Mr. O. le. Mr. C Oh, I answered it. Sent a dollar and got a reply. Mrs. O. And did they show yon to your own satisfaction how to double your capital? Mr. C. Hot to my satisfaction, but they certainly showed me how to dc it. Mrs. C I'm so glad! Mr, G. They said my children were my capital, and if I fed my children on green apples I would double up my capital at once. Boxton Courier. THE MgrKKXM BAT SUB nttHTKO. Lady of the house Have yon aytmng man? Applicant for ' position' No, mum . X don't believe in the young man l-nn ciple. I have six that come regular, and I enjoy a much greater diversity of en tertainnient than if I confined myself to ne exclusively. WaahinQlon Critic. UK COVIDTT rilL THE Bill. Aged Suitor I shall love you as long as I lire. Young Lady What I want is some body who will love me as long as I live. j Tm iftmg,

LATEST FASHIONS

Stylish Adornments for the Feminine Form Di vine. . . SOUS LATE DECREES OF, MSB- "' ION. VMf to Wtn md Hm ft Wm ltStgltiin C6ttumei Uat$iBiinn0tr, Jfsil!trgtVl?tti '. BY iatNP,S. WfEB3k Tlvotttrioal managers tell us that the modern society belle takes naturally to the stage.' ' In the first place, the society melodramas and comedies are peculiarly susceptible of introducing real society manners; in other words, the stage is often one" part of society surrounded by footlights .in front and painted canvas at -the back, tit which another part comes and sits -in cushioned seats and gazes upon. In the second place, the society woman does not think herself ready for butterfly missions in life until .after she has gone through much- the same training our -best actresses subject themselves to. Each goes to a teacher to learn to stand and -walk, how to correctly enter and leave a room, and how to manage a trained dress and sit down. All this is as religiously studied as are the latest steps in dancing and the TRYING A BOSS. newest fads in fashions. All the knowl edge thus acquired is so much capital for a theatrical career. In illustrating three modish toilets we at the same time give a faint idea of the many positions a young lady mak ing the gayety rounds will find availa ble for social success and advisable to know. She gets her ., white capped and aproned maid to assist at rehearsals, and then practices the proper curves of limbs, body, and arms until she can carry her parasol a la mdilaxre or be witch her best beau by climbing the garden trellis with serpentine gracefulness. Ideal summer gowns are not much trimmed. The material and outlines are desirably varied, and a little em broidery or a few knots of ribbon are depended upon to-complete the desired results. Indeed, it is a great mistake at all times to over trim a gown. Slender ladies can stand a good many extra folds, and fullness of drapery is perI.OOSE FBOXT COAT. missible, but gewgaws are apt to prove distracting to an eye of good taste. It was never less necessary than this season, as the designs of most of the pretty summer gowns are uncommonly varied and attractive. Take,- for example, the princess cos tume in our second illustration. First, the best Gobelin blue Henrietta cloth is used. Smooth, rich, and elegant is its effect. Then the smooth, straight back is a model of style in its fit. The whole front is a fall of 'soft India silk reaching from the collar to the shoe-tips made over a close-fitting prin cess lining. The soft fullness is held in rracefnl lines by girdlc-liko bands formed as a part of the coat. .The out lines are peculiarly unique. This stvle of front has been called the Bernhardt, and that actress much affected just such outlines when last playing in the United States. Her " Fedora dresses first introduced the loose fullness, and in the four different coatun es .worn in the play "Theodora" the band below the waist was seen each time in the form of a silver girdle. With such delightful outlines only the little touch A BONNY SAILOR GIBt. Of embroidery shown in the illustration is allowable. For many seasons, indeed ever since yachting came into fashionable existence, the blouse waist and full round skirt, with theii-many varii.u...H (which usually consisted of sash or no sash, varying widths of the inevitable sailor collar), composed the regulation yacht

ing garb. Tho plain round sailor hat was its only addition. To-day fancy has full sway, and the nautical girl may sail and flirt in stays iind busies and live to sail and flirt some othefejdfy in

something eise. A cream-white serge madeth Marguerite skirt, a full white silk vest with jaunty revers reaching jo- tho waist, a sash tied just before this right hip, will create consternation and admiration when its wearer HtapH 0n board for a sail. Instead of thjgpnnd ht of the common sailor, my wfe hm also adapted for her own delegation, and trimmed np with loather and ribbons, 'the captain's own heafcoQvernig, mo visored cap. oungtjored in her estimation when it comedo her own personal adornment. No toe will deny there is anything too goiggfora pretty, fitvliah gm, good-natured and jolly, with the thermometer 95 'degrees in the shade, Whits, notwithstanding its siioce'ts of last season, is still very popuhjk and especially is apple-green introduced as a sash, handkerchiefs, etc. - White China silk, with a full, soft apple-green sash, with a white hat trimmed $ with Guelder roses, secured by a green1 bow, looks extremely summer-like and ehganfc Fashionable Tuscan straw- late are trimmed with a mixture of salinon-pink and green.;' the broad brim is -lined with drawn -pink gauze, and a folded drapery of the -material encircles the crown together with a green ribbon, a bow of which, combined with a little bouquet of green leaves and grasses, rises in front. " Some white dresses are elaborately trimmed with gold braid, especially white sailor dresses for little girls or baby boys. A pretty model is at fancy cream material, the pleated skirt embroidered in a scroll pattern of the edge in gold. A white casque is cnt in two tabs at the baok, between them being a tab ,of gold embroidery,- Two gold buttons finish the back, There is a charming Watteau air about the little toilet. Shot taffetas are of ideal colorings, especially the aurora tints, the flame, flesh, and punch-flame shades. Some shot taffetas are striped or chequered with fine tinea of a third color. Prettier even than these are the ecru tugsors, printed with a variety of original designs and colors. They are trimmed with flounces of the same, and washas easily and well as a pocket-handkerchief. Thus they are in request , as petticoats as well as for cool dresses Tea-oowns are made in the Empire and in other styles, and are either very simple or rather elaborate. A new model is in cream orepon, mounted with a gathered heading on a tucked yoke of pink surah, bnt partly covered by the loose hanging sleeves of orepon, and a pink silk girdle draws the gown in at the waist Nearly all the newit models of morning dresses and ttgowns are made in this way, with double sleeves. In hats, the Tosca shape, with low, flat crown and wide brim turned np from the face, is still very popular, and will be largely adopted for seaside wear, although it affords no shelter to the face and eyes. Some of the new models are in fine straw-colored on the outside, bnt with black straw .lining the brim; a very pretty brown. straw Tosca hat is trimmed with a drapery of finely pleated lace, with small thistles and pink clover lying w little careless bunches among the folds of lace. Styles in ifctcclrj. Floweks of all sizes, forms and material are in great demand.- A new use for them has Been found. Enameled daisies of small size are worn ait buttons on dainty evening bodices. For the same purpose are shown suialL silver panties and buttercups. Children have been wearing necklaces of coral, and it is said that, coral ornaments will be generally worn The fact that coral has been out of fashion so long makes it probable that, if once it gets a fair start, it will be as popular again as it once was. G arnets are coming into popular favor. A bonnet pin has a ball of I smail garnets made to represent a vaspberry. Clasps and buckles are sat with garnets. A garnet fly makes a pretty scarf pin; while representations in garnet of butterflies or bees are worn in the hair. Amber is worn again and will probably grow in popularity. Combs of pure amber are beautiful in dark hair. A pretty design is topped with a large amber acorn. Tortoise-fthell hairpins continue in favor. Butterflies and birds of glittering stones are worn in' the hair. A handsome butterfly brooch of enamel has the wings outlined with brilliants. KorHiirAT ii.vvHxaATzso. While Butler was Governor of Massachusetts he was retained as counsel for a young man whose wife had sued him for divorce on grounds of cruelty. The wronged wife's sister, a young girl of 20, was the principal witness for the prosecution, and Gen. Butler succeeded in robbing her story of its desired effect by a sharp and irritating crossexamination. After many interruptions the witness said that the defendant had been seen to "shy a book at his wife's head." "Shy? Shy a book? What do you mean by that? Will yon explain to the court what the word 'shy' means?'' The young girl leaned over the railing and asked her sister's counsel for a copy of "Cushing's Manual," which lay on the desk before him. She hurled the volume at Gen. Butler's head with all the force she could command. It was a good shot, and had not the Governor divined her purpose in time it would undoubtedly have hit the mark, "I think the court now understands the meaning of the word 'shy,' " said the Judge, and the girl was allowed to finish her testimony without further interruption. AVio York Press. Bobert Hoe, the printing press man, spent a fortune on his library, Lis taste running to rich and valuable bindings, k The material used in opium smoking 5b called a "lay out." Nothing could be more appropriate, Boniurn Ometle.

FLOATING WMQR.

"What are you laying in so many plasters for, Mr. Apothecary?" "For the backs of aautteur gwdenevs, ".Boston Gazette, Gm. Crook is one of the tew men who can catch both fish and Indians. His record proves that much may be dono by hook and Crook. Courier Journal. A comic opera has just boon written which deals with base-ball matters. If there is sa umpire in is it would be better described as a tragedy.--Bocheeter Post-xjre88. FaiENit How about your, poem, Charley ; getting on wi th it ? Charley O, yes; I expect to finish it in a day or two. Friend That's good; and to what paper will you nd it firslTThe Epoch, A good many flrog in newspaper offices ae reported nowadays from different suctions of ths country. Tlus seems to indicate that the spring pcet, has got around with hit, words that burn. Boston Herald. A difference. Husband (sadly) Yen are not what yon used to be, Fannie. Wife (sharply) Of course Fm not. 1 used' to be your Best girl, bnt now I'm your wife, and it makes a great sight of difference. Tid-Mtts, In Boston. Mamma Wliat are yon doing, Minnie ? Minnie I'm reading suoh a pretty tale. Mamnia You must say narrative, Minnie, not tale. ' Minnie Yes, mamma! And do just look at Gyp, how he's wagging his narrative. At the clnb. Z. has just returned from Europe, and is very blase. X Glad to see yon back. Did you go U Italy? Z. Yes. X Go to TeniceJ Z. Yes. X See the Lioa of St Mark? Z. Yes. Sw hunted! SoMEnoDY pi-edict that "the tele phone will develop in tune so that every body will bo compelled to have it. The messenger boy musl; go." We have a great deal of confidence in science, hut we don't believe yet that it will ever be able to make tho messenger boy go. Boston Post. 1 Doujbtfcl Pahty (after partaking heartily of the- free lunch) Gimme a glass of water, pumse. Bartender Don't you feel a little mean to call foi water after eating all that free lunch J Doubtful Party Well, I don't feel quit right. That tripe, mister, aint what it ought to The Jpocj. Ij.vdy (entering editor's sanctum) I should like to find oat, sir, something about the condition of the poor of -this town. Editor Well, ma'am, at pres ent we are welt supplied with potatoes and cordwood, but a new pair of trousers or a spring overcoat would be quite acceptable. Burlington Free Press. Pupsoh (to his valet who is fixing him for breakfast) I say, Fagg, do you think I ihall evaw have any wkiskawB? Fagg (after a careful examination) Well, sir, I really dont think you will leastwine not to sneak of. Pupson That's cussed queah. My govnah has plenty and to spaiali. Fagg Yea, sir but p'raps you take after your ma. DrstLEY Do yon know anything about Grimesby, Brown ? He asked mo to lend him a hundred dollars this morning. Brown (laughing uproar iously) Haw, haw, haw! Asked you to lend him a hundred dollars 1 Well, well! If I had Oriraesby's vein of humor I wouldn't be in the fish busi ness. He is a funny dog. New York Sun. St. Peter (severely) I suppose, sir, you heard the story of the camel and the needle, and yet you were not only born rich but you lived rich and died rich. New Spirit Yon have not examined the record very closely, St. Peter; I died in poverty. "Eh?" "I had consumption and went to Florida in the vain hope of cure. I died in a Florida hotel after paying my bill." Omaha World. "Now, James," siiid the grocer to th new boy, "our stack is first-class in every respect. Thure are no flies on it, and never will be, and you mustn't hesi tate to crack it up to customers." Then James, profoundly impressed, went to wait on an old lady, who presently went out without buying. "What did she want, James?" inquired the grocer. "She asked me if we had any fly-paper I could recommend, and I said yes, that there was no flies on our fly-paper, an never would be. " New York Sun. NO MILLENNIPll YET. Who dreams of snxt reforms U Been, Too often, poor, unkempt uul loan. Bo's labored hard fur many a day. To find reforming doesn't pay. Do joins in uo comliine or trusts, And, rather than lx wrong, be "busts." Who cares not for reforms, but goes The paying Salt, voars boat of olotbei ; Day-windowed, rubicund of faoe, Be thinks the world a jolly place, And holds them lit! to less than fools Who don't GO into trusts and pools. . Tuo moral's tolerably ilear That Uie uiitleunluui fcm't near. CMcaoo Unit. TUB XlfKKMOUKTUZC SCALE. The scale in use in any thermometer is more or less arbitrary. It is necessary to fix two definite temperatures, and assign their positions on a scale. Water being one of the most common bodies in nature, is usually employed, and freezing and boiling points ore taken as definite points, especially as the temperature oi freezing water or of melting ice is almost absolutely fixedpressure altering it only very slightly. The thermometer generally used in the United States and Great Britain is of the Fahrenhoit scale, which places the freezing point too great by 23 degrees. In Germany the scale used is Baumer's, v hicli places tho freezing point at aero, as does also tho French measurement, which is known as the centigrade scale, and is used almost exclusively by scientific men of all nations. It is supposed that Fahrenheit fixed his zero at the point of greatest cold that he had observed. UOir SUB 0OT TUAT WA.T. "Hello, Johnny. How about your Uncle Sam BluflVr's getting married?" "Well, he got married; that's all there is about it." "What sort of a girl did ho get?" "He didn't get any girl at all got a woman." "Not a widow?" " Of course not a widow ; an old maid. " "Well, then, what sort of a woman did he get?" "Oh a kind of a sway-backed thing, what got Unit way from lacin' tight and wantin' to look full breasted when she'd go out." Kentucky State Journal,

Ih Best Test of Smeeesi liSneccfllh Tented and proved by v twenty-Sve years' use in ail parts of the Vorld, AliLOOOS'S POROUS jPLlHTERH have tbo indorse moht bf the highest medical and Wiolniiei-.l authorities, and millions of grateful patients who have been cured of distressing aliments voluntarily testify to their merits, AiicocK'n PonotJS PtASTUBS' nro purely vegetable. They are mild but effective, sro and quick in their action, and absolutely barmlens. Beware of imitations, and do not be deceived by nusrepTetionlation. Ask for AiiiiCOCK'e, nnd let no explau-' atiou or solicitation induce you to accept a substitute. Nevada Journalism, "What is it?" inquired a visitor, pointing to an object moving along O street with a hat on the back of a pimple that protruded as an apology for ahead, and its expression of a retnirrected cadavor with legs larger at the ankle than the thigh closely resembling in the lower extremities an animated pair of fire-tongs. ' . "Why, that's the greiA Conistook 'journalist,' who uses the local columns of a morning paper to ventilate his personal cranky communistic notions in place of furnishing its readers with the news. Its. presence is very unpleasant, but it is harmless. Why here is as unanswerable a conundrum as the queS Hon why snakes and other poisonous reptiles are created." Virginia (tfev.) Chronicle. . Nothing Like It! " " Every day swells the volume of proof that aaa specific for all Blood diseases notbinR equals Dr. Pierce's (iolden Medical Discovery. Bomember, ;hi9 Is an old established remedy with a record! ft has boon weighed in the balance and tomti fulfilling ercry claim! It has been tested many years in thousands of cases with flattering auocesa! For Throat and Luug troubles, Catarrh, Sidney disease, liirni' Complaint, Dyspepsia, :?ick Headache and all disordora roMiltiug from impoverished blood, there is nothing like Dr. Pierce' Goldou Medical Discovery world-renowned and ever growing in favorl What He Loved, .

Brown was boasting of his wife, whose most lovable attribute appeared from his eulogy to be the mating of fritters. "I tell you," said he, "that Mrs. B. can beat the world at fritters. She's a treasure, sir, an inestimable treasure," . Fog And yon eat all she can set before you,? Brown Yon may well gay thatl Ah, my dear sir, you should "But isn't she jealous of you?'5 "Jealous? What put lhat- into your head? Why, my old fellow, I don't care anything about the women folks." "I wasn't thinking of them. I hod in mind the fritters." Boston Transcript, ' How's Yonr Livert The old lady who replied, when asked how her liver was, "Qod bless mo, I never heard that there was each a thing in the bouse," was noted for her amiability. Prometheus, wlioii cluvned to a rook, migtit as well h&Te pretended to be happy, as the man who is chaiued to a diseased liver. For poor Prometheus there was no escape, bat by the use of Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pursutive Pellets the disagreeable feelings, irritable tomper, constipation, indigestion, dizziness and sick hoadaohe, which aro caused by a diseaead liver, promptly disappear. A CosNEcncoT youtu of 82 bos just married a widow of 7-1. He evidently wantod a w$fe who know how to CM. Philadelphia Ca$. VA Womlcrfcl Food unit Medicine, Known and used by Physicians all over the world, Bcott's Emulsion ne t only gives Sank and strength by virtoeof its own nutritions properties, but creates ait iippotito for food that builds np the wasted body. "I have been using Scott's Emulsion for neveral years, and am pleased with its action. My patients aay it is pleasant and palatable, and all grow stronger and gain Been from tho use ot it I use if in all cases of Wastim; Diseases, and it is specially useful for children whennntrient medication is needed, as in Marasmus." T. ff. Piebcb, M. P., Knoxvilto, Ala. Mobvoks ougbttobe good sailors they have so much inarry-tiuio experience. Ttxat Sittings. , PMGKI.T Asa Bitters Is an unfailing cure for all diseases originating In biliary derangements caused by the malaria cj miasmatio countries. No othor modicine now on sale will bo effectually romove the disturbing elements, and at the same time tone up the whole system. It ia sure and safe in Its aotion. Tint fact that parents are wooed may account for there being so many block-heads among the children. Moxte has created the greatest excitement as a beverage, in tho years, ever witnessed, from the fact that It brings nervous, exhausted, overworked women to good powers of endurance iu a few days; cures Uie appetite for liquor and tobuoeo at ones, and has recovered a larg number of cases of old. helplosa paralysis as a food only. What's In a name? About the hottest country on the globe Is Chili. Sun Fronctteo Pott. THE 4pEN CUT'S" SHOW, Telling the Record of an Eventful Century. Cincinnati is all excitement. Her Centennial Exposition Is "on." It is a celebration of one hundred days and nights in honor of the one hundredth' anniversary of the settlement of the Ohio Valley, and designed to show tbo rapid progress made in one hundred years sinne the first white man trod her soil. Her citizens subscribed a million and lift; thousand dollars to dofray expenses, and with part of this sum immense buildings have been erected, which in conjunction with permanent Music Hall, which cost a million dollars, and .Is capable ofholding 8,000 people, furnishes nearly 900,000 square feet of space, all under one continuous roof, covering an area of forty-three acres. A dozen States are officially interested In the enterprise, the general Government has fenl a magnificent collection of curios firom Washington City, and in fact every deUil has been curried out on the most liberal bcule. The attractions embrace, elegant displays in Horticulture. Agriculture. Machinery. Textile Fabrics, Educational, Women's and Children's Departments, an Art Gallery roado up of tho masterpieces of the most colebrated arUuts, obtained from private galleries in all sections of the land and all valued at $1,500,000. and an electrical display In and about the vast series of buildings on a scale of profuseness and brilliancy novor soon In this country before. As the railroads have reduced their faros to low excursion rates. Cineinnuti. for tbo next four months, will be a bc&y soone. ; Motto for the cremaflonlats Death is real, death is urnest.JJoslon Budget. Weak and Weary Dascribe the condition of many people debuttited by the warm weather, by disease, or overwork Hood's garaparilla la just ttwmedichw needeA to overcome that tired feeling, to purify and quicken thealuggiah bleed, and restore the lost appetite; If you need a good medicine, be sure to try Hood's BaraajMiilla. -Mr appetite was poor. I could not sleep, had Kia ache a great deal, paina in laybaek, my bowels did not move regularly. Hood's Bars apariUa in ailiort time did me so mueh good tbat 1 feol like a new man. Hy pains and aches ace lelieved, my appnUM improved. Ozoaas F. Jacksoh, Eoibury Station, Conn. Hood's Sarsapaiilla EoMhyaltdntxgists. l: Hi forts. Fmptnd'HUr fay C. I. HOOD It CO. Apothecaries. Lowell, Hast. IOOposespne JJollar fXO EVERY BOTiT. A speculum copy of the Sitst and Cheapest Fitmilf Btorr Paper h the United BUte. Send , , name and address on postal to .rtim U CHICAGO 1.KOOER. Chicago. IB. THE ONLY WAY! Send 3c! Stamp to ABSORBENT MF3. CO, TO cunt OC 95J Gates Avemi. DImm Without Doling, UL. Brooklyn, N.Y. fll Tl liannlew. pojltiva ivntl pennanent lMof III I" Rf1"! manhood txm ag or abuse, Bert U UUllhlooapuriaer knova. tl liotttoi eent BiepatA Pnutalats terp It. Qlak Oo.. m S llaltd t.. ChMnaSfc H UGIB d ! Wall penroanehiii.Arithmetiejilinr, hand. et; thoroughljr tauslitbyiiuHt. Ciruulars bee. BaiT'e BusiHKcoi.MaE Buffalo. N.T, FREE llv return nia.L lull lloacrililloa Moody's Now Twilor .System of lns Outline ilooDl It Co. Cinoiunatl. O. n Uv:aomIHlttUlfcn.orcmoacJr Vrci.isforit(tia 8UshVi l V" " Cortl.' OOiai VKB. lw k UKK. AdUrva. -t'CeB 1 Co , Aupitu. Ui4. aa rtOLD lH worth tsoo per iuiil, IVdUS F.ye ftalre JT f 1.0UO. but la iui at iitnu a uux ey ueajeni.

FRH

ATWT YOUR'

DA rtmt i oklu i

Wat Fridtr. n k t. cawtk Saadtr- The oHriul "A . reliable h OOJT a OC OHJJATJtffOOr T. aT. ?3 lea 1ft klu aa wai al leut ana yat Xlckt FuUearfile Sluiei. Na Vara aecauun. al Ma I Jjf;" "Sffcf o SSn?l53wrB5S, II

WW aeef. Ra Of ewpenta, eawsa w

' 1 ifmta Birth Ut f.ta Chotve

We car's wlthue certain physical traits, as we dooort iii ni iuNil chamutoilslios. Inaomnch tbatp; fi holcgtste uavo Mriven to designate by generfa titlfa certain temjranuxents ax ihebit. 10U, tl i nsrsous, tho 1nipltatii. The iadlvid. uatwttn aettilowooniplciloni set do r. as bUioun,o Mnartllitly so. If ttmsrtrort in the hue 1 bis lb in 4s traceable to bile in the blood, it" Ceu v! in' Kio wrong pluco Instead of tbe liver, 'rBlJ;i bvmcedby fiii on the tongn pta beneata thought ribs rud through tbe right should -blaito, sick lieu-' nclio, countiput on, HotUlelieo ludtidigostion. Fortlio relief of this very ct ,i mioi i, but not esientutlly peril. ,n camlilutut, t Iwto is no mort! genial mid ihoriugb, rented,- lluui Hnt Um'k atuiwicli Pit-teis, which fa also ben,.fleent trmbjaitd fireiif.fbpfimi.ner, and a 'le'ly eNteeiui irMnidy !';- ivuditieventlvo oi leyt,. aaa Juui rimuimtwaui Kiuaey toa oiaudr tec nates. ' For SittHJimr nicukfoStr Herring laid trotih tnask and tsovefed with eggs is reccmmenetl for a summer breal.f ost 'yhich will stitf.ulato ttieapoetite. Whi tin; herring have bsNiv.v.'ell broil iahich will lw in about .fonr of live minifies, have in readiness ttvn thin slice), pf toast, madi) crisp, trotter thtn. light!;?, : 'l'licn take awa;f all the lioiws of tl i hewing, lay tho floiih parts iqany upon sue piece of toast, pour over the egg and cover with tbo other 4iee of toast Stvi hot. i ;. !1 1? tt woman t pretty, T me 'tis no mallei, Ditehe blonde or brtaieto, &, ihe iota mo look at hor." An niuWIthy womu in rarely, if over, bean lilvL tbe peculiar diseases to v htch so man;' of Ire sex aro subject arc proline causes of pti, as low faoos, bioichad with unsightly liimilis, dill, luster Ufa eyes and euiacis,ted f',rnii Women so nfllictoC: Can bo permancntj euT'id by Using Dr. Pierce's I'avorite l"ro?i--ip'Uon; ami With ihe tontoraiion of liealili coiaos that bniuty which, combined with 1 00(1 qualities ot lieal and heart, makes worn o ani ;ta of lnvI;im, "Favorite J?rcscrir t ton is tnfc only medieine for -roinen, sold ty-driggisti, uixltra ioit for guarantee frou tho Manufacturer, ihat it will give satifa(t ouiu every caa, or mouey ill be -funciiL This guarantee has boen priiited on the 1 little- wrappor, oad faithfully cult led out -for m any,; morn. Bth aioi whiskies moke crooked roads. Fait it leer Advance. riie Population tr Hie United Klatea Is alKmt ,000,000, and wa would say at least one lalfa -e troubled wiiii i wrae affection of ihe'rbroa's and Lunipi, as those complaints ro,-ccording to sbitistis, mora nnmerous toao Jthera. We would advise all our nd?ra nottonagicet the opportunity to call 00 their arii;pet end get a bottle of Kemp's I,aLani 0T iho '.'hroat and lamps. Trial il;e free. Ir!t Botllce 50c and 81. Sold by all drug -iSttHi. ' ; Till man who advertisod: "Wantedasuest pari aer," must have wanted to marry a mute. tf 'if puwiy vmcrasu pwajtmam tl V.l iamt PRICfUIBifafrYi SENNA - MAMDRAKC-BbCHU orset touAuy eynciDir awaits. It has stool tie Ten of Tears, in uunne; ail uueases ci ue DLVVU, M VJSJK, BXl'ACH, XIDHEYS.BOW" ELS. 4ko. It Purifies;: Blood, Invigorates aad BITrEHSi mtaawatna ysumu riTVEP8IAiC0KIICURCS 1 PATI0K. JATJHTJICK. ulOIJEKOmEl SICKHEADACHZ,BIlrUVER IOrjS COMFLAnrig.l dliappear at ouceundtr KIDNEYS ltu beneaoial mnusnei STCrVIACH ! Itii purely a Mediclas ai its cathartic propeiAND nni inn t? m icroios na use aa : PUiiYCaLnSi ht,verago. It U pleai,l' I oatte ths taste, and easily taken by ciuic.ren a I atlnHi. AliDifUGStSTS1 PfflCi;LYsSHBlTVER8CI Sole Proprleton, 8i.Liinian4 XjuouaOtlfa pRianootiAR

in 'ant & St ration Chicago Business

,;tt." ."'!,TJ.T,'T5 "r'i,,c nsSTFnmvM and the XA.X.MCksvx tlea. Catalogs, terns. eta.. sent F&KS. Jkdtewa W . umm ...1 .f. rnl I... t . mmw m

CINCINNATI

BW - jam, sisai a . jTwi B 4 k --

ENTEM NiflL EXP3SIT;nH OHIO VI

GUARD JUBILEE celebrating tie Settlement of the Korthyastani Ttf 11 try, 1 UNSURPASSED DISPRA:"' :

iiXCURftTON RATE8

rWAOQTJ A IWT E D 'WITH TOO OEOOHAPHT OF THE COTfrTTM, WSlL fWIC8sT.;

MUCK VAM7A!UVB IKPOllMAIIOrT

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CHICAGO. ROCK ISLAND & PACIFiC n V.

Ita central poaltion and oloae connectlonwiHi Eastern tlrjoa at CBjl.rti and continuous lines at terminal points, Wont, Northwest, .and JeB;

woat. make I t the true mid-1 mic in that

unites the ABlantlu and Pacific. Its main lines and branches lncmae tpio-o .Tollftt Otta wa. LaSaDe. Peoria.. (3ieoeo. Mollne and Rock fialia

nitnolii.- Davennort. Muscatine. Washincton. Fairflsld. Ottumvfa, Oekidi Mi

West liberty, Iowa. CUty. Dtis Hoinoa,

Trenton Cameron. 8t. Joeech and Kancau City, in Missouri : Lsavvrar?

vllle, Auduoon, M.arian, uuuine i;entre

and Atc hison, In Kansas; Minneapolis and St Paul, inMiun sso anl Ql.viv W,.lla in IAliV , n.nr mini v nhnr nrOfinarOUS f.OTimf

It also oifers R CHOICE OPEOTJTES to mediate places, making all. transfers

DAY CCiACHES. slesant DliJINQ CAiiS, magTiltlcent PU1j1J4AN PJXAC

SLEEPING OARS, and (between Ohicfigro, St. Joseph. Atcmson ana tteua

City) rentful RECLINING CHAIB OAK

nrec-ciaaa nonew, THE CHICAGO, KANSAS & NEBRASKA H'Y (QRAT ROOK ISLAND ROUTE

Extendi! woat and southwest from

bury, IfoleoD, HorCon, Xop5k, Hrinpton, Hutchinson, Wlctita, GH

una mriflArr. lmnnwAmflniH. uoiumuuiuuu. wuasiuutawjw.Ua. wwwi iii . a

THE FAMOUS ALBERT LEA ROUTO

la ths flivoHte bntwoen Chlcagro, Bock Island, Atchison, Kansas Ot'iy, ' MlnneapolLs and St. Paul. The tourist route to all Northern Bummer B enortav

ItsWatertown Branun WitverBes. we

"wheat a,nd dairy belt-' or fiorcneni wwa, aounnw

n.niM nat,Af. -:

The Bhort Lino via Senoca and Kanlialtoe offers superior fkomtlea tot raw

between Cincinnati, Indleoiapolis, Lfti'ayette, and Council BliirfB, a..loapn.' Atchison, Leaven worth, Kansas City, Minneapolis, and St. Paul. For Tickets, Maps, Polders, or any neaired information, ptlr toatiy

pou ncitec uuico Ul iuu uiuhvohhww vewettHay ui cKaua-oiw

E. 8T. JOHN, Qsneral tana?c. OHIOAOO.

B'UGCY for ONE DOLLAR

ipaf foar vasar aoea vwns w irm

Stanaaebij IL i If

il atWWiMLfr, -.It' ClunifJnnrtlipatlon.IndipSf III lick Headtt he, Uvcr CcmtftJi 3 tetire, fl!Mo isneM. Ncmrawiwli I J'or M bv al! Iinifiglitl. - fiWf

I'tnat IS J0f 1 '. lifSS IH IB I

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r'ZER sia;iT i tvit world. iiklia, Ii ym I tr Oet ttto annulah. ia Rir-stjpjrsag g 9jil g I i.iil :iie it out on trial. 71 f emrtajaaf jri B MFfBi H ttr. ct, u.i pcew 1? --.it of hay iaedaw B K IfSa fi houiri'.MiJr.tl,!:. PrroifeUa,w4lipKiMa ifK&l B

88 . uetH. n,ijr,twi'r. tfianoayoffti-.' t ?.'T JV Till. TOO K rr. B A ILIi A Kit1 OAUESY. JVUHfl A80 TABqET UIVEt. Krnl F - t:l.,.f,.fl ial. nHB. UktMi f wi asms eitbxi D.itw',et, Al.M.SoMaf'4 "iffll"" jiwi CMt Medicine in the WerWaij n pnitraiii) nr. Isaac lWMtt yelebraSed Eve 1V ai-Mi't,-- ! & fjrff"iiH - n niruKrarl 1 writioii, uiuiltds heen iu co istaut um fof -MH ftt.ou Uiat tu'-'ti tn;,rt!,Ki '(i into Ow? iMpg Join. I, :i7wmpKMtv, vwM J Ce,, ttfJ lolu illnlh jlntHii 4.f ibvsimeivt 4n J DR. WaNCHIEIL' Teething rwva, huh a yHtuiory m cue ()rociornn.CBnswa vm;M oa wivmca v tun, .iivikuiwi mild in3'tftl:t. cam'ct nil uflditr. iWrl uiij tonti to thaattntBtoia BoldtK; gtJei'Diuti Asthma CaraiWTBr. I mat tktt rtUtf lit Uie vr rw. Ist.K!n !ivr; PiTfiSafarfiawt 1 . (K) v Jt UTiiigjrlirt (. ort n fiiOO to $300 mm. Asttri: .iF4irt-ti'l wha cm 'itpure rimiuentH may ix- iatfttubtr A t . vv vu ain'tca ;r. tou i s ana exue. UkN CO HwU St., ttl IUDCEFS FASTILlES W. V F. V. When Writing to AIverltia-.: ynu Haw the Advn-tlment la n - ,SH iRAimMp achtiQi-wwCi 'mxm woix.Tl nMtai tt. B. BKVANT ev.N. mricun,OkLii II4VJ .... (l.t. nn,- vkn. ,1 Wt'llk. ! ' JULY4SL , ' .:LWiii FROM ALL PQIHT 4if" FROM A STUDY OP THIS MAP OF ip traaacontinen tai cnemi or steal w n Irictanola, Wlnterset, Atlantto, aim uounpu siuns, ia wwa c rux . : Ssi f: unci from the PacWo Wwt and tlUra' in Union depot?. Vnnt. Trains rw'.-f iiaas' 8, aeata FaES Kansas City and St. Joseph most proauctive isntis or in iwostorn Minnesota, an 1 Ba) E. A. HOLBRO0H. Gen'l Tieiket faf' lltstt VUU, - - r. -1 -1 - - .

raPa o bc ? m a-t5 , ASF t jTo'tZ scwiaoWWWatf Mju,tj , jef nrt mn tm " w av wiid 3 IfK&M i i3lhB!4ttt.f3a. aoMS Ji

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